Double Dare (3 page)

You won’t.

I’m leaning against your door, all you have to do is open it, just enough for me to slide in … you know you want to.

What I want doesn’t matter.

Sure it does.

I don’t do casual sex.

?

Okay, well, with you I did b/c I couldn’t help myself.

I told you I have that effect on people.

Yes! You do and it’s driving me crazy and I don’t like to feel that way.

Is that why you didn’t wait for me?

She inhaled sharply and exhaled. No, the reason she’d left was because he had lied to her about not having a girlfriend. Yet she’d seen the picture on his laptop, heard the Mandy ringtone, and seen the definitive evidence: Him all cozy with the woman, right before her eyes. And it was that image that cooled her libido enough so that she had the willpower to end the texting.

Yes, and I need for you to respect that.

Good night, Dr. Winslow. Sweet dreams.

Argh! How dare he kiss her off? She’d wanted to kiss him off first!

She ran to the door, skidding to halt before she slammed into it and made a bigger fool of herself. Pressing her cheek and ear to it near the deadbolt, she closed her eyes and slowly inhaled. Simon’s clean woodsy scent infiltrated her nostrils. Her body warmed. Oh, why was she such a mouse? Why wasn’t she strong enough to sport-fuck the sexcathalon gold medalist, and just walk away?

Impulsively, she yanked the door open and ran out into the hallway just as the elevator door closed in front of Simon’s burning green gaze. He didn’t flinch. Not even a muscle in surprise. He didn’t crack a knowing smile. Instead, stone-faced, he watched her watch him until the doors closed completely.

As the elevator dropped to the first floor, so did her belly and her heart. She knew this time, he would not come back. Not unless she gave him a reason to. And knowing she would have to take a seat behind the blonde, she refused to chase after him.

The next several days dragged by. Every time Katy turned a corner, heard a deep voice, thought she caught a clean woodsy scent, her heart quickened and she turned hoping to catch a glimpse of Simon. But he was not there. He had respected her word and damn it, she needed to respect herself!

On the fourth day since Simon had come to her apartment, Katy found herself walking along the Castro. Making sure no one she knew saw her, she ducked into a “toy” shop. Heat flushed her cheeks. She turned around to run out of the store when a lovely, effeminate man said, “Sweetheart, don’t fight it. Embrace it. Tell the Sugar Plum Fairy what mama needs, and she’ll fix you right up.”

“I—ah—I don’t know.”

Sugar Plum, who lived up to the name with his spiked purple hair, wearing a pink, purple, and white striped Spandex unitard stuck into a pair of white patent leather Peter Pan slipper-style boots, eyed Katy skeptically. “Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but you appear educated, refined, gorgeous under those awful glasses and that terrible … I hesitate to call it a hairstyle. It’s more like a Bitch bun. It needs to go, girlfriend, along with the uptight vibe.” His discriminating brown eyes raked up and down her body. “I bet you have killer curves under that trench coat.” His eyes shone when he looked down at her Jimmy Choo-clad feet. “Oh, my, my, there she is, the little tiger. I have the same pair in leopard. You
must
get them in leopard; they will drive your man wild!” He pursed his lips. “Oh, wait, you don’t have a man, do you, hence your reason for being here. So, I think I have just the little friend for you!”

Ten minutes later, Katy hurried from the toy store with a brown paper bag full of battery-powered dildos in every shape, color, and size. She’d tried telling Sugar Plum she didn’t want an assortment, maybe just one to start with. He hadn’t wanted to hear it. In fact, every time he’d asked her a question, before she could answer, he’d answered for her. When he’d tossed in several tubes of lube she’d blushed to her roots.

“Trust me, you’ll be glad you have that on hand,” he assured her, then sent her on her way, smiling like a proud parent sending their precious child off to college.

Now she sat at her kitchen table with the “toys” strewn across the butcher block top, looking like circus swag.

“Katy?” Rosie called from the other side of her door.

“Crap!” Quickly, Katy scooped the colorful array of toys into the brown bag as Rosie let herself in.

“Hi, Rosie,” Katy nervously said, pushing the bag across the table as far away from her as possible. “What’s up?” It occurred to Katy that she probably looked like a guilty five-year-old, the way she stood there with her hands clasped behind her back looking down at her bare feet.

“What’s in the bag?” Rosie queried, looking around the kitchen as if she would find a man hanging from the light fixture.

“Just a few sundries from CVS.”

Rosie’s nose twitched as if she had caught the scent of something, like her lie, or worse: the contents of the bag. Of course, that was ridiculous unless she had a nose for latex and AA batteries.

“Mr. Kabo on Three said he saw a strange man the other night coming out of the elevator at approximately 9:59.”

Katy bit her bottom lip and nervously moved around to the side of the table. As she glanced at the bag, she shrugged.

Rosie stalked closer, glancing at the bag, then back at Katy. “Said he was a big one, and he had a gun.”

“A gun?”

“Yeah, a gun.”

“Maybe he was a cop?”

“Elliot’s dusting for prints and he’s going to run them through Live Scan.”

“Okay, well.” Katy maneuvered between Rosie, who was eyeing the bag a little too keenly, and the table. “I hope he was a cop and not a bad guy.”

“Me too, but what I really want to know is how he got in here, since no one said they let him in.” She watched Katy suspiciously. “You didn’t happen to, did you?”

“Me? No! Why would you ask? You know I’m not involved with anyone, Rosie. Why the fifty questions?”

“I just don’t want to see you get tangled up with the wrong guy on the rebound.”

“Oh for God’s sake, Rosie!” Katy grabbed the bag and pulled out the biggest dildo of the lot and stuck it beneath her friend’s nose. “There’s my rebound boyfriend, okay?”

Rosie smiled and nodded. “Elliot and I have gone through three of those. They’re great while they last.”

“Rosie! I don’t want to hear about your sex life.”

“You should,” her friend said, and winked at her. “You might learn something.”

“I’ll learn all on my own, thank you very much. Now is there anything else? I’m late for the gym.”

“No, just keep an eye out for tall dark handsome strangers with a gun.”

“I will. Now see yourself out, please.”

As Rosie was about to close the door she called to Katy, “If you need batteries, we have them by the flat!”

“Goodnight, Rosalinda!”

For a long time Katy stared at her “toys.” Even alone with them, her cheeks warmed in embarrassment. She had never thought to use a vibrator or a dildo–even after Sugar Plum’s detailed instructions she didn’t know which was which. Until Simon, her libido had been mellow and manageable. Of course, until Simon she had never had an orgasm. The body wants what the body wants. And right now, her body didn’t want battery-powered plastic, no matter how many ways it pulsed, vibrated, and thrust. Her body wanted the real thing.

As she had every night since her return home from San Diego, Katy worked her body to exhaustion at the gym. While it did little to ease her libido, it worked wonders on her glutes and abs, not to mention it was a good way to spend two hours without staring at her cell phone waiting for it to vibrate with a text from a man who was not going to contact her again.

If he really wanted me, he would text me, she told herself.

But that would also make him a man who didn’t respect her adamant demand that he leave her alone. Exhaling, Katy dropped the twenty-pound heavy ball she had been doing overheads with and stepped back from the mirror. The only way she was going to possibly ever see Simon again was if she reached out to him. And that was not going to happen, because that would be going against her vow to not to settle for red ribbon again.

But maybe he broke up with blonde? Probably not. He had a kid with her! Maybe she was his ex. She wrinkled her brow. He’d told her in the shower he had never been married. Her instincts told her he was telling the truth. So was the blonde his baby momma? Were they together but not together? Did it matter? Yes, it mattered, because she wasn’t going to share, darn it!

As was her habit since meeting Simon, Katy jogged home from the gym. Turning up Broadway, the hair on the back of her neck spiked. The uncomfortable feeling she was being followed settled around her. Hurrying her pace she sprinted up the hill and rounded Peirce. Her building was half a block down on the left. As she ran up to the front door, she looked over her shoulder and caught her breath. A man in jeans and a dark hoodie slowed from a trot to a casual walk in an attempt to look inconspicuous. She knew he had been following her.

Katy’s heart pounded against her ribcage. She entered her code, the heavy glass and wrought iron door opened, and she slipped inside, quickly shutting it behind her. More than a little rattled, she jogged up the stairs to the penthouse and let herself in.

It took her awhile to shake off the uncomfortable feeling of being followed. She lived in a city full of harmless oddballs. Still, she made a mental note to be on the lookout the next time she was out on the streets.

A half hour later, showered, naked, wineglass in hand, Katy sat on her bed with her new toys fully charged and lubed, spread out like a treasure trove around her, with no real clue how to wield them. She turned one on and immediately dropped it when it buzzed violently in her hand.

Picking it back up, she slid it along the inside of her palm. Nothing, maybe mild annoyance. Turning the vibration down to a mellower thrum, she slid it along the inside of her forearm. Nothing. But how would it feel if Simon was holding it against her?

She glanced at her cell phone sitting on the nightstand, and then turned off the sparkly purple rabbit. Contemplative, Katy took a long sip of her Chardonnay. After she swallowed, she slowly exhaled and reached for the cell phone.

Then, after several more long minutes, she texted:
I have a toy, now what do I do with it?

t wasn’t like she was asking him to use it on her, just a few friendly suggestions …

Katy held her breath for what seemed like hours as she waited for Simon to respond. After an hour and twenty-three minutes and the crazy urge to keep texting him, she accepted the fact that he was not interested in teaching her how to play.

Embarrassed disappointment swept through her. Setting the phone aside, she lay back on the mattress and slapped her hand over her eyes.

“Could this be any more humiliating?” she asked out loud. Misery loved company, so she got up, dressed and headed back to the kitchen and poured herself another glass of wine, tossed half of the glass back, refilled it and stared morosely at it in the dim light of her kitchen. She raised the glass and said, “Katrina Winslow, you have hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up.”

As she sipped what was normally her favorite vintage, feeling sorrier for herself than she recalled having ever felt before, her entire body and mood shifted the instant she heard the ping of her phone.

“Oh, my God!” Her hand shook so badly she needed the other to steady it so that she didn’t spill wine all over herself. As if she were a bored housewife, she strolled back to her bedroom, nose in the air, back rigid, all the while telling herself that regardless of what his response was, she was going to apologize for contacting him, and demand that under no circumstances, even if she begged him, was he to contact her again. And she meant it … until she saw his text:

We play.

Not you,
we
. As in the two of them. Her heart thudded against her ribcage. If she did this …

I don’t know how.

Her phone pinged again.
I’ll teach you.

Exhaling, with a shaky hand, Katy set her glass down on the nightstand. She wanted to ask him what took so long but she didn’t.
Where have you been?
Ugh, why did she type that?

Chasing bad guys. Where have you been?

Waiting for you.
It was official, she was certifiable.

I, um, this is hard for me.

It’s going to get harder, Kat, because once I have you again, I’m not going to let you go.

Katy swallowed hard.
You can’t have me. I just want to play.

I play hardball.

Be gentle with me.

Always. Where are you?

In my bedroom.

Are you naked?

No.

Get naked, and as you undress imagine it’s me undressing you, slowly …

Katy swallowed again as she imagined Simon’s big capable hands stroking her skin as he lifted her cammie top over her head, then slowly nudged down her panties. She was already soaking wet and he had yet to teach her how to use her new toy.

Are you undressed?

Yes.

I’m imagining you standing there all lush and creamy for me, Kat. Are your nipples hard?

Yes.

Touch them.

Katy gasped as her fingertips brushed a sensitive nipple.

Does it feel good?

Yes.

Imagine my lips suckling you, and my tongue licking you harder. Have I mentioned how much I love your tits?

Yes.

Lie down on the bed, Kat, and spread your legs.

Breathing heavily, Katy lay down on the bed. She told herself it wasn’t really sex if he wasn’t physically there, touching her. And as long as he wasn’t, it wasn’t as if they were having any kind of relationship.

Are you lying down?

Yes.

Are your legs spread?

Yes.

Slide your fingers down your belly, slowly … are you warm and wet?

Yes.
God yes, she was soaking wet. As her fingertips skimmed across her hard clitoris she gasped.

Oh Kitty Kat, what I wouldn’t do to be the one dipping my fingers into your honey pot. You smell so sweet and sexy.

Simon …

Yes, Cinderella?

I wish it were you, too.

Be careful what you wish for …

I want

She couldn’t tell him what she wanted. It would make her sound weak and needy, even though that was exactly how she felt with him. Emotionally weak, and sexually needy.

Tell me what you want, Kat. I will give it to you.

How did she tell him she wanted him all to herself? That she wanted him to want only her? That right this very second she wanted him to make her come? She couldn’t tell him any of that. She couldn’t tell him because he was involved with another woman, and even if he weren’t, she wasn’t brave enough to expose her gooey center to him. Not Simon. His rejection would hurt more than Evan’s lie ever did.

What kind of toy do you have?

The kind that vibrates.

Turn it on, low.

Katy picked the less intimidating soft pink latex vibrator and turned it on low. It thrummed softly in her hand. It wasn’t Simon, but it was going to have to do. For now.

Is it on?

Yes.

If I call you, will you talk to me?

Katy held her breath, desperately wanting to hear the deep sexy timbre of his voice.

I—can’t talk to you.

Are you embarrassed?

No. I just can’t.

I want to hear your soft moans of pleasure as you touch yourself, imagining it’s me. I want to hear you call my name when you come, Kat. Would you do that for me?

Oh how desperately she wanted what he wanted. But it was too intimate. A line she wasn’t willing to cross.

I want to, but I can’t.

When he didn’t respond after several minutes, Katy started to panic. Was that a deal-breaker for him? If it was, why didn’t he tell her? Was he messing with her?

Simon?

I’m here.

Relief flooded her.
Where did you go?

Thinking. Wondering why you’re playing coy.

I’ve never done anything like this before. It’s scary.

What are you afraid of?

Of liking it too much. Of wanting more.

There she’d said it. And it felt good to tell him the truth. At least most of it. It was right on the tip of her fingertips to ask about the blonde.

Who’s the blonde?

Katy squeezed her eyes shut, feeling like a colossal ass, and dreading the answer, but she knew it was the right thing to do. As desperately as she wanted to play with Simon, she could not, would not until she knew that he wasn’t a liar or a cheater.

Thirty seconds later, her cell phone rang. She didn’t need to look at the caller ID to know who it was. She couldn’t bring herself to answer it. She was a coward.

When it went to voice mail, she opened her eyes. Her phone pinged that she had a message and then pinged with a new text.

When I call you back in thirty seconds, answer the phone.

Apparently Simon was used to having his orders carried out. Thirty seconds later, her phone rang. On the fourth ring, she answered. “Hello.”

“Dr. Winslow,” Simon’s deep voice said, “I don’t like to play mind games unless they are with a bad guy.”

“I don’t either.”

“Then when you ask me a question, and I call you with the answer, I expect you to answer my call.”

“I don’t want to know the answer if it’s not the right answer.”

“And what would the right answer be?”

“That you aren’t having sex with her.”

“I’m not having sex with her.”

“Have you ever had sex with her?”

“Yes.”

Feeling gut-punched, Katy squeezed her eyes shut.

She should stop right there. But she couldn’t. “Do you want to have sex with her again?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“No.”

She exhaled, grateful there was no hesitation in his answer and decided to leave it at that. “I’m glad.”

“I want to have sex with you, Katrina. Now, are we going to continue to waste time not having sex?”

“I, I’m not ready for any of this, Simon. I don’t know what I want.”

“A few minutes ago you wanted to play.”

“I did, but it was easy when it was just texting.”

“Because it was just words with no intimate human interaction?”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong with intimacy?”

“Nothing, when you don’t care about getting hurt.”

“We all care about getting hurt, but sometimes you just have to soldier through it.”

“I don’t know how to do this.”

“I’ll teach you.” His husky promise riveted her to the bed.

Katy lay back on her bed and realized, as she did, that she had just opened herself up for a world of hurt. “Okay.”

“That’s my girl. Now put me on speaker, set the phone down beside you, turn that toy of yours back on, and relax.”

She turned it on. “Close your eyes, Kat, imagine I’m lying beside you. Stroking your skin, kissing and licking your nipples. I love your tits. I love how smooth your skin is. I love the soft swell of your pussy, and the sweetness of it. Take the toy and brush it across your nipples, one at a time, slowly. With your other hand touch your clit, gently. Are you wet?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Very.”

“Oh, I bet you are. Slip your fingers between your pussy lips, and drench them, Kat. Now swirl them around your clit. Slow but steady …”

“That feels good.”

“Move the dildo down your belly, and work it along your clit in the same motion as your fingertips.”

Katy gasped at the sensation.

“That feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yesss.”

“I love the husky sound of your voice when you’re turned on, Kat.”

She loved the sound of his voice turning her on.

“Slowly, very slowly,” he directed, sinfully, “slide a finger into your hot pussy, Kat. Imagine it’s mine. Go as deep as you can. Thrust in and out.”

Katy gulped a swallow of air as a moan escaped her throat. She’d give anything for it to be Simon’s hand on her.