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I preferred chasing Sadie to women who let me know they were desperate to be caught. She made me work for it. And as much as I wanted to work for more with her, she was a distraction I couldn’t afford. Our run-in after tonight’s game had been brief, but I’d been thinking about her wide smile and blue slushie mustache since. I’d set out to charm her, but instead, she was wrapping me around her little finger without even meaning to.

The December wind had a brisk bite, and I buttoned my wool coat as I made the long walk to my car. I’d played a strong game tonight, earning the hard-to-come-by praise of Butch Price. I was playing well on the new team, probably because it was my sole focus.

Sadie was the first woman who made me feel like more than just a hockey player, but I had to keep reminding myself that I couldn’t afford to go beyond flirtation with her. My family needed me, and I wasn’t about to let them down.

Sadie

Dell held up a pair of men’s red and green striped bikini briefs.

“Think Luke would like these?”

I cringed. “God, I hope not. And if your man’s junk fits in those, you have my condolences.”

She gave me a glare before moving to the next display in the department store we were Christmas shopping at.

“I was joking, Sade. And I think you can tell from Luke’s size that he’s blessed in that department.”

“Does it bother Luke that you see the dicks of the other guys on his team?”

Dell shrugged. “I don’t, really. They all cover up. And if I’m working on someone’s groin and a towel slips or something … it’s not sexual at all. It’s like a doctor and patient, you know?”

I nodded. “Can I ask you something without you drilling me about it? Will you just answer me and not give me any shit?”

“Sure. Let’s go look at ties, I want to buy Luke some new ones. What’s up?”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What’s Niko’s body like?”

Her brows shot up and I could tell she was dying to drill me, but she held back.

“Probably about like you’d imagine. Very muscular. He’s not as lean as some of the guys, but he’s still all muscle. A few tattoos.”

My pulse pounded with irrational jealousy as I imagined my best friend seeing Niko fresh out of the shower. “A few?”

“One near his pelvic bone and one on his upper arm. He’s not super hairy like some of the guys are.”

Dell picked up a purple tie and met my gaze.

“I like that one,” I said.

“I don’t work on Niko much,” she said, adding a green tie to the purple one in her hand. “He’s one of those guys who doesn’t bitch about pain. He just plays through it. I get the sense he’s worried they won’t keep him on the team – that he’ll get sent back down.”

Just the thought made a knot of worry form in my chest. “But he’s playing well, right?”

“He’s playing great. But it takes most guys a while to feel comfortable and secure.”

I furrowed my brow as I eyed the plain dark tie Dell had just picked up. “I don’t like that one.”

“It’s for my dad,” she said, adding it to her stack. Another stab of envy struck me. She had a husband and a father to buy Christmas gifts for. Not to mention a beautiful son. I had no one. I wasn’t genuinely jealous of her, because I loved her and she deserved happiness. But I wished I could also have someone to dote over.

“You like him,” she said. It was a statement, and I didn’t argue with her. “He likes you, too. But be careful, Sade.”

“Why? Is he a manwhore? Does he have a crazy ex-wife?”

She smiled. “No. But hockey players have lots of opportunities. You know that. I’d probably get fired and possibly jailed for castrating one of my players, but that’s what I’d do if he hurt you.”

“If I had a sister, she’d be you,” I said. It was something Dell and I had often said to each other over the years we’d known each other. “So if there’s something I need to know, say it.”

She gave me a serious glance over the table of ties. “I heard he left Lucky’s with a friend of Dawn’s the other night. A ballerina or something. The guys were talking about it because it was the first time Niko’s left a bar with a woman since he got here.”

Disappointment washed over me so strongly I thought I might need to sit down to get ahold of myself. But why? Niko was a red-blooded man, not to mention a professional athlete, with no commitment to anyone. Our flirtation wasn’t remotely close to dating.

“I’m sorry,” Dell said, setting the ties down and hugging me. “I hate seeing you hurt.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay. I can’t date anyone anyway, so I don’t even have a right to be jealous.”

“I don’t know what happened, so maybe you should ask him about it,” she said.

I shrugged. “It’s none of my business. Let’s go to that bakery we passed and get something with lots of frosting.”

Dell carried the ties up to the register to pay for them, smiling over at me as we waited in line.

“I’ve been reading your ‘60 Days Single’ columns. You’re such a talented writer. I’m so proud of you, Sadie.”

“Thanks.”

I pasted on a smile, which I never did around Dell. I didn’t want her to see how much it bothered me that Niko had been with another woman. It was probably for the best anyway. Niko was nothing but heartbreak in a tall, sexy Russian package. Better now than later.

Niko

My mom had been answering the phone at the deli the same way for nearly 20 years now, and hearing the familiar words in her clipped Russian accent made me smile.

“Hello, Vereshkova’s Deli.”

“Hi, Mom,” I said.

“Nikola!” Her excited tone drowned out the background noise of customers. “How are you, son?”

“I’m good. Really good, Mom. How are you?”

“It’s good here. Papa is busy with customers. How is hockey?”

“Great. I want to bring you guys here to visit. Can I send you some plane tickets?”

She snort-laughed into the phone. “Airplane?”

“It’s perfectly safe, Mom.”

She laughed skeptically. “You can talk to Papa about it.”

He was even more opposed to flying than she was. My parents hadn’t ventured out of their New York neighborhood since moving there 20 years ago. Our traumatic trip here was probably the reason. Lyov had gotten sick on the boat and been near death when we arrived in the States.

Mom’s voice grew muffled as she started listing off the specials to a customer. My parents were both in motion at the deli from sunrise to sunset, and relaxing was a foreign concept to them. That was one reason I wanted to fly them here for Christmas and put them up in a fancy hotel. They deserved to be the ones getting waited on for a change.

“He is not here!” she said to someone, frustration in her tone. “No. Vlad, you go.”

The name sparked my attention immediately. “Vlad? Mom, what’s Vlad doing there?”

He was bad news. Len Petrovich’s bill collector wasn’t someone who dropped by the deli for a sandwich. He only showed up for one reason.

“Are you guys back in debt to Len?” I asked, alarmed by the idea. My father only borrowed from Len when times were desperate, and he’d assured me repeatedly that he was making ends meet. My brother Lyov was the one who told me things were getting tight for our parents.

“I am sorry, it’s busy here,” my mom said to me.

“I can call later, okay?”

“Okay. You’re a good boy, Nikola.”

“Thanks, Mom. Love you.”

I hung up and walked into the locker room, where guys were just starting to arrive for practice. I needed to call on one of my friends from the old neighborhood to ask around and find out if my parents owed Len money.

“What’s up, douchebag?” Luke said. “You look kinda down.”

“Nah, I’m good. Just hoping Orion’s ankle is better today.”

Orion was one of the three guys on my line, and we’d finally gotten into a groove. On the ice, I knew Orion and Kellan, and they knew me. We moved as one, and losing a man would upset our balance.

“Yeah, Dell had to meet him at the hospital at one this morning after he fell,” Luke said, shaking his head with disgust. “She didn’t get home til after four. Stupid fucker was drunk and fell down some stairs. Sounds like his ankle will be okay in a day or two, though.”

“Good,” I said, breathing out a sigh of relief. I needed to keep playing strong, and Orion was part of that.

“Hey.” Luke spoke in a low tone. “You okay? You seem really serious and uptight lately.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Just trying to earn a permanent place here, you know?”

He grinned at me. “You’re permanent, man. Price doesn’t call people up until he knows they’re ready. Relax. You gettin’ laid?”

“Uh … it’s not really my focus right now.”

“Fuck that. You need to unwind, man. I heard you hit it off with Dawn’s friend the other night, the dancer? You guys left the bar together, why didn’t you fuck her?”

I shrugged. “We didn’t hit it off. She just followed me out of the bar. I left and I think she was getting a cab.”

“You don’t like her?”

I shook my head. A grin spread across Luke’s face.

“We need to find you a hook up on our next road trip.”

“No,” I said, a little louder than I intended. “Don’t fucking do that, it’ll just end with some woman getting her feelings hurt.”

“What’s your deal? You used to be fun.”

I punched his bicep. “I’m still fun, asshole. Just let me worry about my dick and you worry about yours.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “My dick’s in good hands. I’m happily married. Your problem is that your dick’s in no one’s hands but your own.”

I walked the few steps to my locker, reaching for my skates and messing with the laces. I didn’t want to continue this conversation. The only woman I had any interest in was the only one he’d warned me to stay away from. He was perceptive, and I didn’t want him knowing what was really going on inside my head.

“Hey, Ryke and Kate are having an ugly sweater party this weekend,” Luke said, pulling his t-shirt off over his head. “Sunday night. Maybe Dawn’ll bring her dancer friend and you can have another shot.”

“I don’t want another shot.” I tried to sound dismissive, glancing at the locker room door for anything that would help me change the subject. Thank
fuck
, Orion was walking in. He was limping, and I walked over to talk to him about his ankle.

“How long are you out?” I asked. He ran a hand through his dark blond hair.

“Couple days.”

I nodded slightly. “You better be back on game night, asshole. Man up and play through the pain.”

He arched his brows and glared at me. “No ‘how are you, Orion?’ Is every fucking thing just about you?”

I rubbed my jaw and laughed humorlessly. “You’re lucky I don’t throw your ass down and bust your other ankle. I didn’t choose my line, but I do my part. I’m not a stupid, reckless asshole like you.”

“I fell, dumbass. Shit happens.”

I stepped closer to him. “More shit happens when you’re drunk.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m not a choirboy like you.”

“Just get your shit together and do your fucking job,” I said, turning to walk back to my locker.

I changed clothes and laced my skates in silence. I was pissed off now, and I needed to work out my mood at practice. Nothing I said would convince my parents to close the deli for a few days and come visit for Christmas. They’d both be working their hands to the bone to their dying days. And Luke’s prodding about getting laid had only added to my aggravation. Orion was just the final straw.

I loved how physical hockey was. There was nothing like working out my frustrations on the ice. I grabbed my stick, already feeling sorry for the teammates I’d be fighting for the puck today.

Sadie

As soon as I walked into Ryke and Kate’s house, I knew I was seriously outgunned. It was my first ugly sweater Christmas party, and I’d hoped the tan V-neck number from the back of my closet would be ugly enough.

Dell saw me and made a beeline, handing me a glass of champagne. “What the hell, Sade? Where’s your ugly sweater?”

I looked down at my chest. “Well, this doesn’t look great with my skin tone …”

She glared at me and gestured at her fringy red sweater, which was adorned with actual Christmas tree balls.

“That’s absolutely hideous,” I said.

“That’s the point.”

“Hey, Sadie,” Luke said, clinking his beer against my champagne flute as he approached. His bright green sweater had blinking Christmas lights and a giant cartoon Rudolph on it. “How’s your story going? The no dating one?”

“It’s good. I’m getting a lot of
hell-yeah
mail from readers.”

I couldn’t hold back a laugh when I saw Niko approaching. He wore a tight sweater vest covered in poinsettias with nothing beneath it. I didn’t even notice the lines of his chest visible in the ‘v’ of the vest or the giant black tattoo on one of his huge biceps. Not at all.

“What gives?” he asked, giving me a disappointed frown. “You’re supposed to look ugly, and you look gorgeous.”

“Had a few drinks?” I asked, arching my brows at him.

“This is my first one.”

He was clean-shaven, his November beard gone. There went my beard on thighs fantasy.

“You shaved,” I said, sliding out of my coat.

He reached for it and I handed it over. “Yeah. The beard’ll be back when we make the playoffs, though.”

So there was still hope. I tried to suppress a smile.

“What?” he asked, grinning. “You like it or not?”

“Like what?” I asked, playing dumb.

“The beard.”

“On you? Oh, I don’t know. It doesn’t make a difference.”

He winked, still grinning. “I get it. You want me with or without it.”

I rolled my eyes. “You made it about a minute and a half before breaking out the arrogant ass remarks.”

He feigned a hurt expression. “Are you saying you don’t like me?”

“Maybe I just don’t like men who grab my ass before they’ve even kissed me.”

His smile faded away and his eyes warmed. “You want me to kiss you?”

I scoffed. “No.”

“Liar.”

“Prick.”

He leaned closer and spoke in a low tone. “Prude.”