Dumping Billy (28 page)

“Surprise!” the entire crowd shouted as the door opened. The lights went on and pink and blue balloons—big, but not as big as Bev’s third-trimester belly—cascaded from the ceiling. Flashbulbs went off all around the room, capturing forever Bev’s rictus of fear as she screamed and jumped. Guests screamed and jumped as well. After the explosions were over, Kate watched as a palpitating Bev leaned on her mother’s arm.

She took a seat, from where she surveyed the scene of laughing friends and relatives. She clutched her face and screamed, “Aah, you guys,” as soon as she could speak. “I swear my water almost broke! You shouldn’t have.” She’d been told to “drop over at Bunny’s new apartment for a look-see.”

Kate agreed with that. There was something sadistic about surprise parties, but, “Yes, we should have and we did,” Barbie told Bev, joining her on the sofa, a hideous blue three seater.

In fact, virtually all of Bunny’s new apartment was in blue, and most of it was hideous. Kate had forgotten that nobody in Brooklyn south of Prospect Park believed in antiques—things were either new or junk. Kate considered the royal blue rayon-damask upholstered furniture in the living room new
and
junk, but everyone else had oohed and aahed over Bunny’s new marital home on the obligatory tour before Bev’s arrival. Even Elliot, not only color-blind but largely tasteless, had raised his eyebrows at the smoked mirror framed with golden cherubs and the Museum Shop lamps with fake busts of antiquity mounted under the shades. Brice, however, was in ecstasy. “Just like Picasso,” he had murmured to Kate and Elliot. “She’s having her blue period.”

The wall-to-wall carpet was a peacock blue in the living room, a Madonna blue in the master bedroom, and a royal blue in the second bedroom. The bathrooms, one full and one half, were also, needless to say, blue. One was papered in periwinkle with green vines and matching green towels, “the essential accent” (as Bunny had explained). The other was done in navy foil. “I wanted something masculine for Arnie,” she’d told them, though why shiny dark walls were manly was something Kate couldn’t fathom.

“I didn’t know they still made foil,” Brice had said, marveling.

“I know. I had to go on-line to find it,” Bunny had confided.

But Kate wasn’t looking around only at the apartment, she was also looking at her friends. Each one was committed to a life that would almost inevitably include children, PTA meetings, family holidays, trips to Disney World, and all the trimmings that came not only on the Christmas tree (or Hanukkah bush), but also with the comfy order of family life. She wondered if she would ever leave the little nest she had carved out for herself in Manhattan and, if she did, what she would trade it for. Somehow the prospect of doing it in Austin without either her Manhattan or her Brooklyn friends to support or encourage her seemed grim. At least when she had been with Steven she knew that her future—if there was one—would be in New York.

Once Bev got over her surprise, all of the guests felt free to tear into the platters of food. Set out on the dining table and credenza (both covered with sky blue cloths, with napkins to match) was a truly impressive spread. Everything from bagels with four varieties of cream cheese to pasta salads, Thai sate, canapés, and cannolis was arrayed in overwhelming profusion. Elliot picked up a plate and heaved a big sigh of happiness. “I love it here,” he said.

“Oops. He’s up another waist size,” Brice said, and patted Elliot lovingly.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves enormously, except Bina. Kate didn’t want another recitation of Billy Nolan’s charms, so she had avoided Bina just a little. But it didn’t seem necessary: Kate realized that Bina was avoiding her. She was sitting, her plate heaped high, next to one of Bev’s cousins, but she wasn’t talking or eating. Only Bev’s nephew, a four-year-old who sat on the floor dutifully chewing whatever his grandma or mother put in his mouth, seemed capable of bringing a smile to her lips.

“Okay. Let’s get down to business,” Barbie told everyone once the food frenzy had subsided. “Open the presents! Open the presents!”

Everyone cheered and agreed except Bina. Kate kept an eye on her as box after box was unwrapped.

All the gifts had been opened, and Bev’s mother was wrestling in the wrapping paper as if it were a pile of leaves that had been raked up in the fall. Bev was holding up a tiny sweater and examining the knitted bonnet that went with it.

Kate touched the tiny piece of hand-knit material, and all at once, she was almost overcome by a wave of feeling so unexpected and so strong that she had to sit down. Up till now, for some inexplicable reason, Bev’s pregnancy had been just that— a swelling stomach, a few inappropriate outfits, and some complaints. Holding the tiny sweater, Kate realized that very soon, Bev—and Johnny, of course—would have a new person as tiny as the little bit of wool, to hold and love and care about for the rest of their lives. Kate felt so very far from that reality that tears of envy and despair filmed her eyes. She had to turn her head away so no one would notice her sudden rush of emotion.

I want a baby of my own, she thought, and realized at the same time that she was further away from that possibility than she had been for a long time. Because she suddenly knew, absolutely knew, as she held the little sweater, that she wouldn’t want to be putting it on Michael’s child. The very idea was . . . well, it just wasn’t possible.

“Have some rugelach, Katie,” Mrs. Horowitz offered, and Kate looked up. She must have appeared as dazed as she felt, because Mrs. Horowitz exclaimed, “You’re so pale. Are you all right, darling?”

The answer, of course, was no, but how could she explain that to kind, concerned, simple Myra Horowitz?

Now that all the gifts had been opened, the women went back to the food. Soon, overfilled paper plates were being balanced precariously next to plastic cups of juice, margaritas, or New York State champagne. The Bitches, Brice, and Elliot gathered in a small group in the corner near the easy chair that Bev had settled into.

“So, is it a girl or a boy?” Barbie asked, taking a bite of her bagel.

Bev looked at her mother, than shrugged. “Johnny and I want a surprise,” she said, but Kate saw the look that passed between them and knew better.

“I think you should name him William,” Elliot said.

“After the prince?” Bev asked.

“No. After Billy Nolan. The man who made all this possible,” Elliot told her.

“See, Elliot’s theory works. Just think. You’re next,” Brice told Bina with frightening assurance.

“That’s right, Bina,” Bunny agreed.

“Jack’ll come around,” Bev’s mother told Bina in a comforting tone. “Remember how hard it was to get her Johnny to propose? I’m glad you stayed local, Bina, and didn’t go into Manhattan like Katie.”

“Yeah,” Barbie echoed. “It’s even harder to get them to commit.”

“That’s not true,” Kate began to protest, “I don’t think that location has—”

“Kate’s doing okay,” Elliot cut in defensively.

“Yeah,” Brice echoed. “She’s getting a proposal from this doctor guy.”

Kate felt the blood leave her face.

“Get outta town!” Barbie cried.

“You sneak! You didn’t say a word,” Bunny squawked.

“What’s his sign?” Bev demanded.

Kate was kissed and pummeled for a few minutes, until she could get a word in. “I’m not ‘getting a proposal,’” she told them all, then gave Brice a dirty look. He shrugged an apology. Kate tried to find words to describe her situation with Michael and put out the blazing fire of curiosity around her. “We’re talking about options.”

“Options, schmopshins,” said Mrs. Horowitz. “So what kind of doctor? Not a surgeon,” she warned. “Surgeons are cold, Katie.”

“He’s not a medical doctor,” Kate said, then heard all the sighs of disappointment that moved through the room like a summer breeze.

“It doesn’t matter if he’s not a
real
doctor,” she said to Kate, her voice low. “As long as you love him.” Kate managed a smile and took a pastry.

Then she shot Elliot and Brice a murderous look. “They don’t know what they’re saying. Anyway, we were talking about Bina.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” Bina said quietly.

“Oh, everything is going to work out fine,” Bunny said, and she put her arm around Elliot. It seemed to Kate that the group had adopted Elliot and Brice as girlfriends in drag.

“She’s got Dumping Billy on her side,” Barbie said.

“He hasn’t dumped you yet, though, has he?” Bev asked Bina.

“No. Not yet. But I’m really looking forward to it,” Bina said, obviously uncomfortable.

“Well, it’s been a long time,” Barbie pointed out.

“According to Elliot’s theory, that makes sense,” Barbie said.

“No. Actually, it doesn’t. This whole thing doesn’t make sense, and it’s making me crazy,” Kate told the women irritably. Somehow everything seemed wrong: her with Michael, Bina with Billy, Jack with a bevy of foreign beauties, Steven calling her from out of the blue. It was like a French farce. Looking at Bina and suddenly feeling sorry for herself, Kate blinked back tears and took a piece of the shower cake to comfort herself.

“Oh, well, it has to be at least two months or else it doesn’t work. And I’m a little uncomfortable,” Bina admitted.

Bev put her hand on the back of the chair to help herself up. “Honey, you don’t have any idea what uncomfortable is. You
cannot
give up now,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Stay the course,” Barbie advised Bina. “Billy can’t last much longer. You’re not his type.”

“Oh, no? He’s asked me to the Hamptons this weekend,” Bina said without enthusiasm.

The Bitches squealed with delight, wisecracked, elbowed, and laughed to one another.

“What’s so funny?” Bina asked them.

“What you don’t know about men could fill a library,” Bev said.

“A big one. A Manhattan one,” Bunny added.

“What don’t I know?” Bina demanded.

“Bina, honey, this will be the end. Men like Billy freak out after a weekend alone with a woman,” Barbie said. “He’s sure to drop you after that.”

“But then why would he ask me?” Bina did look really upset. Kate wondered again if her friend was falling for that self-centered idiot. “It wasn’t my idea.”

“That’s the point,” Bunny told her.

“They like the idea of intimacy . . . ,” Bev began.

“But the reality is they freak out because of all the one-on-one time,” Barbie continued.

“Really, Bina. Go to the Hamptons and you are as good as dumped,” Bunny assured Bina.

“I don’t know. It seems like false pretense,” Bina told them.

“Maybe it is, but you can’t turn back now,” Bev said as she walked to the refreshments table.

Bina had been juggling her plate of food on her lap and suddenly lost control of it. The entire thing fell down her dress and onto the floor. The Bitches fell silent and stared at her.

Kate had felt something was wrong with Bina’s behavior since they’d arrived, and now, as if to confirm that, instead of cleaning up the mess, Bina took Kate’s hand and began to pull her down the hall. “I have to talk to you,” she whispered.

“Wait a minute,” Kate said, and put down her glass of red wine as they passed a side table, afraid that a spill would turn the carpet an irrevocable purple. Bina pulled her into the guest bedroom and sat her down on the sofa bed.

“I can’t believe it, Katie,” she said, and her voice caught on a sob. “I’m so ashamed. I never thought . . . I could never believe that I . . . Omigod, Jack.”

Kate had no idea what Bina was going on about, but she was upset to hear her so upset. And in a different way from her usual innocent hysteria. “What
is
it, Bina?” she asked gently.

“If my mother knew . . . Oh, Katie! I cheated on Jack.”

“Bina, a few dates doesn’t mean—”

“No. I mean I really did. I had sex. I mean the whole thing. And it was . . . wonderful.”

As Bina burst into tears, Kate felt the room and the noise of the party receding. And this new information, this sexual misadventure of Bina’s, was exactly what she had been afraid of. She felt herself becoming angry but wasn’t sure whom she was angry at or with. Elliot should never have proposed this, she should never have allowed it, Bina shouldn’t have fallen for Billy’s empty charm, and she was most angry that Billy, in true Lothario fashion, had taken advantage of Bina’s inexperience.

What had she done? She and Elliot and the Bitches had interfered in Bina’s life, and the results were this: a girl awash in guilt and tears and confusion. Hadn’t they all succeeded in ruining Bina’s loyalty and single-minded devotion? Perhaps it was a bad thing, to count on one man to come through for you and to believe there was nobody else. Still, Bina should have been left to make her own choices. Setting her up with a man like Billy Nolan was sure to be her undoing. And now, what if she decided she loved him? What if after the heartbreak of Jack’s desertion she was dumped again, as was inevitable? It would destroy her self-confidence. Kate didn’t even want to imagine what Bina might do.

She took her friend by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Listen to me, Bina. Whatever you did is all right. Jack has been off sleeping around, and if you had a slip, so—”

“But I don’t feel like it was a slip,” Bina said, and began crying anew. “I feel as if he appreciates me. He says that since he saw me he’s felt that not grabbing me up was a mistake.”

Kate recalled how she’d had to challenge Billy even to consider Bina as date material. She was furious at everyone—at Jack, at Elliot, at the Bitches . . . even at herself. But beneath all of that, there was another feeling. “Bina, you can’t believe everything men say,” she began cautiously.

“Katie, I never doubted my love for Jack. I mean, I do love Jack. It’s just that now that I’ve had some more experience . . . well, I just can’t explain it. He’s so understanding. And it’s like we never run out of things to talk about.” She paused.

“Look, Bina, you have not been disloyal. Just don’t confuse this, this little adventure with real love.”

Bina looked at Kate solemnly. “You’re right,” she said, and nodded. “I won’t let it happen again. Because I really, really do love Jack.”