Elspeth Hart and the Perilous Voyage (2 page)

2

One Very Important Day

Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash were hurrying away from Elspeth’s house at top speed in a stolen car, planning how to get on board the
HMS Unsinkable
. They had done a lot of bad things in their time, from making soups full of toenail clippings to kidnapping Elspeth Hart, but this was one of their nastiest plans yet.

“Hah!” said Miss Crabb, as they zoomed on to the motorway. “A luxury trip to New York on the
HMS Unsinkable
. Won’t that be lovely! And when we get to America, we can start making the Extra-special Sticky Toffee Sauce and selling it for loads of money.” She shoved the recipe down the front of her jumper to keep it safe.

“Ooh, New York,” said Gladys Goulash. “Is that near York?”

Gladys Goulash was very stupid. Miss Crabb only kept her around to do all her dirty work.

“No, you fool! It’s in America – that’s a completely different country.” Miss Crabb smiled, showing her grimy false teeth. “Just the right place to set up our top-secret Extra-special Sticky Toffee Sauce factory. We’ll make millions, Gladys Goulash!”

Gladys sniffed. “Why can’t we just fly there? Much quicker that way,” she said.

Miss Crabb stamped her foot in rage, accidentally hitting the accelerator and making the car lurch forward. “You KNOW we’ve been banned from flying ever since we started a fight on the plane back from our holiday in Spain,” she said.

“Oh yeah,” Gladys said. “The one where we tried to take that donkey home with us!”

“And in case you have forgotten, you blithering doughnut, we’re ON THE RUN!”
Miss Crabb continued. “That means the police will nab us if we try to leave the country.”

“Well then,” said Gladys Goulash, “they’re not gonna let us get on a big posh boat, are they?”

“Gah!” Miss Crabb was losing her temper. But then she remembered how useful Gladys Goulash would be for doing all the hard work in her Extra-special Sticky Toffee Sauce factory while Miss Crabb lay around eating biscuits and having naps. She would have to put up with her dim-witted friend for a bit longer.

“We’re not going to buy tickets,” she said crossly. “We’re going to go on
in disguise
. We’re going to pretend to be the ladies who run the hair and beauty salon on the
HMS Unsinkable
. We’ll buy wigs so nobody can
recognize us, then we’ll bluff our way on board. If that doesn’t work, I’ll shove my way on – I have very sharp elbows. And then we’ll lock the real hair and beauty ladies up in a cupboard and take their place! Eee-hee-hee!” Miss Crabb sat back, looking extremely smug.

Elspeth raced to the train station, carrying a rucksack stuffed with some clothes and the newspaper Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash had left behind. She knew she’d need help if she was going to get the better of Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash, and there was only one person she could trust – her best friend, Rory Snitter. Rory had been Elspeth’s only friend when she was forced to live in the Pandora Pants School for
Show-offs. The other students at the school hadn’t cared about Elspeth at all.

Elspeth knew where Rory lived, but she had no money to buy a train ticket. She paused at the station entrance to catch her breath and thought hard.

The station was packed full of people rushing to catch trains, pushing into queues and drinking cups of coffee. Elspeth was glad it was busy – it meant she could slip in between the grown-ups without being noticed. There was a train to Rory’s village leaving in five minutes, so Elspeth headed towards the platform, hoping she might be able to talk her way on board without a ticket, but there were barriers in the way.

“Excuse me, please can I get on the train? My mum’s on it already. She’s got our tickets,” Elspeth said to a ticket inspector.
She crossed her fingers behind her back.

“A likely tale,” said the ticket inspector. He scowled down at Elspeth. “I’ve had enough of kids like you mucking about. Summer holidays start and this place is over-run. I ought to report you!”

Elspeth’s eyes widened. “Please don’t report me,” she squeaked. “I’ll go home at once. Sorry!” Elspeth scurried away as fast as she could. But she didn’t go home. Elspeth Hart didn’t give up that easily. She hid behind a coffee stall and waited.

From her hiding place she could see that people were lifting bikes and big suitcases into the luggage carriage at the very end of the train. If Elspeth could just sneak in there, she wouldn’t need a ticket at all. But she still had to get through those barriers.

“Unless…” she said to herself.

Elspeth waited until the ticket inspector was busy helping someone else, then she followed a man with a bike who was striding towards the barriers. As soon as the gate opened to let him through, Elspeth hurried behind and followed him towards
the luggage carriage, trying to look casual. She was desperate to make a run for it, but that would only draw attention to her. Once the man had loaded in his bike and turned away, Elspeth leaped into the luggage carriage and hurried to the darkest corner.

“All aboard!” cried the train guard. Elspeth shrank back into the shadows as he peered into the luggage carriage, then the door slammed closed. Elspeth heard the faint sound of the train’s whistle and they started to move. They were off.

Elspeth let out a long sigh of relief, then she looked around. It was dark in the luggage carriage, with just a chink of light coming from a high-up window. She found herself a fat suitcase to sit on and leaned her head against the side of the carriage, closing her eyes and letting the rhythm of the train soothe her.

She couldn’t stop thinking about her parents and the note they had left her:

The other side of the world could be
anywhere
. Her parents must have written the note in a hurry, before they had a proper idea of where they were going. Where could they be?

When Elspeth thought about her parents looking for her in some strange place that she had never even been to, she felt very sad and very small.

Then she opened her eyes and told herself to be strong. She would find her parents one day – she
had
to. But for now, she just had one mission – to get that recipe back.

Elspeth
couldn’t
let Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash win.

3

Elspeth on a Mission

Elspeth climbed down on to the train platform and looked around. Weaseltoe was a quiet station in a peaceful little village. Elspeth could see trees and pretty cottages and even a pond with ducks on it. She slung her rucksack over her shoulder and went right up to the first person she saw – an old man with a walking stick who
was tottering along the main road.

“Excuse me,” Elspeth said politely. “I’m looking for Snitter Towers. Do you know where it is?”

The old man rolled his eyes. “Oh, I know where it is all right, young lady. You can’t miss it,” he said. “Just keep following this road. It’s a huge white building with a big metal gate. Ridiculous place. That Mrs Snitter’s a bit loopy, if you ask me.”

Elspeth nodded and hurried on before the old man started asking any questions.

Soon the houses thinned out and Elspeth found herself walking along a tree-lined road. After a few minutes, she spotted high turrets and spires in the distance, and as she came closer, she could see a white building with a tall gate in front of it. The house was absolutely enormous.

If you can imagine a shimmering white castle, dear reader, then you can picture Rory Snitter’s house. It was like something from a fairytale. Looking through the railings, Elspeth could see a fountain with a white marble swan on either side of it. There was also a tennis court and a massive swimming pool.

“Wow,” breathed Elspeth. She followed a high wall all the way around the house until she found herself back at the big gate. She peeked through again, wondering what to do next.

“I
assume
you have a reason for being on Snitter property?” came a voice from the other side of the gate.

Elspeth jumped. She looked up to see a very tall, pale man in a black suit. He had perfectly neat black hair slicked over to
one side and was standing with his hands clasped together in front of him.

“Oh. Yes,” Elspeth said. She took a deep breath. “I’m here to see Rory. I’m Elspeth – one of his friends from school.”

“Hmmmmm,” said the man, peering down at her. He took a monocle from his pocket, popped it in front of his left eye, and stared at her more closely. “I will have to search your bag, young lady. We have security measures here. The property must be protected at all times.”

“Of course,” Elspeth said nervously. She handed her rucksack through the bars of the gate and the man quickly looked through her things. “Do you … work for Mr and Mrs Snitter?” she asked.

The man breathed in through his nose and stood up very straight. “I do,” he said.
“I am Mr Tunnock, the butler. I am in charge of the house and grounds – and I’m also in charge of Master Rory, as his parents are not here.” Mr Tunnock flicked a tiny bit of dust from his jacket. “I am proud to say I have served this family for over eighteen years.”

He handed Elspeth her rucksack. “Very well,” he said, punching a code into the metal gate. “You may enter.”

The gate creaked open and Elspeth went inside. As they made their way down the long drive, past the fountain, she spotted a small figure.

“Rory!” Elspeth yelled.

Rory stopped and stared. Then he dropped the tennis racket he was carrying, ran towards Elspeth and gave her a huge hug.

“Elspeth! What are you doing here?” he cried.

Elspeth stepped back and smiled at her friend. Rory was dressed in perfectly ironed tennis whites and looked very smart, except for a tuft of hair that was sticking up crazily, like always.

His pet lizard, Lazlo, was sitting on his shoulder and looking at her curiously.

“I’ve got SO MUCH to tell you!” Elspeth said. She glanced round to see Mr Tunnock standing a couple of metres away, watching her carefully. “Mr Tunnock let me in. He said your parents are away?”

“Yes, they’re on one of their long holidays,” Rory said. “Two whole months!”
He turned to the butler. “Don’t worry, Tunners, Elspeth won’t be any trouble.”

Mr Tunnock gave a low bow and turned back to the fountain. He took a silk handkerchief from his pocket and started polishing one of the marble swans.

“Are you OK?” Rory asked, taking Elspeth’s rucksack and heading towards the house. “Tell me everything!”

Elspeth gazed around as they walked along a path with grand columns on either side. They went through a set of giant oak doors with enormous bolts on them, and into a vast hallway filled with ornaments, flower displays, paintings and another fountain. Rory’s house was the grandest place Elspeth had ever seen.

“I know, I know,” Rory said when he noticed her staring. “It’s a bit over the top,
isn’t it? Come on, we’ll sit in the kitchen.”

They sat down at the huge kitchen table and Rory poured them both a glass of juice.

“So,” Rory said, “last time I saw you, you were running away from school as fast as you could. Mr Tunnock picked me up just after you left and brought me straight home. I hope I never see that horrible school ever again. Lazlo’s much happier now we’re back. Did you ever find your parents’ secret sticky toffee sauce recipe? You said you thought the ingredients were in that song you remembered.”

“Yes, I did! They were in my head all along,” Elspeth said. “But the amounts – you know, how many spoons of syrup and that kind of thing … were written on my trainers!” She lifted up her foot so Rory could see the tiny numbers that her dad had
hidden among the doodles on her shoes. “So when I wrote down the ingredients AND the numbers and put it all together, I had the recipe after all!”

“Wow!” Rory said, and Lazlo jumped on to Elspeth’s knee to take a look.

“But that’s just the start of it,” Elspeth said. “I got all the way home … and the house was empty. Mum and Dad had left me a note – they’ve gone abroad to try and find me. Some woman phoned them and told them I’d left the country! But their note didn’t say exactly where they were going.”

“Hmmm,” Rory frowned. “I bet that was Miss Crabb who called them, trying to get your parents out of the way.”

“Yes, I think so, too.” Elspeth nodded. “I was on my way to the police station this morning to get help, when I saw this.”

She unrolled the newspaper from her bag and laid it on the table, showing the headline:

Rory went pale. Lazlo sensed something was wrong, too. He ran down Rory’s arm and started biting the edge of the newspaper.

“It gets even worse,” Elspeth said. Rory and Lazlo both stared at her, listening carefully. “Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash
broke into my house,” Elspeth explained. “They got in this morning and stole the recipe for the Extra-special Sticky Toffee Sauce!”

“WHAT?” Rory went even paler.

“Yes,” Elspeth said. “I need to find them, so I can get it back.”