Embracing Love (17 page)

I hope that bastard rots in prison. Eric was so upset, I felt so bad for him. He used to be so strong, now I feel like he is breaking. He loved Addison more than anything. I hope this hadn
’t damaged him. I pray that he could move forward. I knew it will be hard on him. He is tough, he’s a Carls and we were made to stand strong. Although, I find myself wanting to break all the time. This whole Liam and Evan situation has broken me down. I miss Ads and my dad so much. My mom was doing a lot better. She has met another man, I knew she would need to move on but I wasn’t prepared for when she did. We all went to dinner together last week. He was a Fire Marshall and very handsome. His son, Brax graduated with Eric and I. He also had a teenage daughter Makensie. He knew my father. My father had died cheating on my mom and I knew she needed to move forward. I knew this man would be a good start for her to move on. He was what she needed.

Three Years Later

We just celebrated the girls third birthday several months ago and I was graduating UC today with my law degree. After everything I had been through, I pushed through and made it happen. I was working for one of the largest law firms in San Diego. We had finally moved into the big house.

My mom had remarried and I figured it was time to let her have her beach house back. I loved living in the house Liam grew up in. It was a huge house and perfect for our family. We’ve decided to have another baby. Liam was hoping for a boy this time.

“
Liam, I will only be gone three days at the most. You’ll be fine. My mom, Christabella, and Kalyn will be here to help you.” “L, I know I’ll be fine with the twins. It is you I will miss. We haven’t been apart since I came home four years ago.” “Oh Liam, I’ll be back! I promised Heather I would be there for all the events.”

“
Lila, please be careful.” “Liam, I will call you as soon as I get there.” I went to kiss my three in half year old twins. “Mumma not leave.” “I will be back. my sweet girls.” “Miss you, mumma.” They are so sweet. They didn’t understand that I would be gone a couple days. I hope they didn’t throw a fit on their daddy.

I was nervous about being in New York again, I hadn
’t been there in almost four years. Brody was living in Ohio with Nikki, they got engaged last year. He opened up his own law firm there, and she was now a law professor at OSU.

On the plane, I wondered what it would be like to step back in that big ol
’ city again. All these thoughts were running through my mind. Thoughts of all the people I met there and the ones I loved and lost. I needed to get Evan out of my mind, but he had never left it. I couldn’t stop loving him; I had tried. I hadn’t contacted him personally since my father’s funeral. I’ve looked him up online a couple times. He’s a wonderful lawyer.

I took a cab to the hotel and checked in. It was just as beautiful as it was years ago. Evan and I had stayed here once. We were tired of our beds and just wanted a night away from the college scene. It was a magical night.

I called Heather and she said we weren’t meeting until tomorrow evening. I decided I would grab lunch and relax. I was starving. I decided to go to the café and grab lunch. It was just around the corner from the hotel. I didn’t think anyone would notice me. I had gained a little weight and wore my hair a lot shorter than I did back then.

I entered the café and the aroma was wonderful. One thing I missed about living here was this place, they needed one back home. I didn
’t sit down and order, I decided to go through the express line.

As I stood in line, I could smell a scent that I knew I had smelled many times before. I couldn
’t quite remember exactly where I knew it from. It was strong and smelled so familiar. It was a scent I had smelled more than once. When the barista said next, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. Oh my God, it was him! He wasn’t alone, he was with the one person I wished he wasn’t with.

As I tried not to let them see me, I ordered my BLT and sweet tea quietly. I tried to get my debit card out of my wallet and when I did, I dropped my purse, it fell to the floor and of course they turned and saw me. Damn it, just my fucking luck.

“Lila Carls? Is that you?” I turned “Well hello, Alyssa and Evan. How are the two of you?” She looked the same, just a little uglier. What the hell did he see in her? Yep, she was still skankzilla. “What brings you here?” Alyssa asked. “I’m here for a friend’s wedding.” Evan just stared at me not saying a word. “So Lila Carls, did you become a lawyer?” “Yes Alyssa, I did and it’s actually Lila Carls-Ellis.” Evan dropped his head. “Oh, you married that Army guy after all?” She ran her hand over Evan’s and just stared me up and down. “Yes, I did marry Liam. Did y’all get married?” I asked. Evan spoke up, “No, we are just friends.” She looked at him like she wanted to punch him in the throat. “I’ve been trying to hook this man for years but he would rather stay single except for on those lonely nights when he wants some attention, if you know what I mean?” This bitch really wanted me to know she and Evan were screwing.

“
Well, it was good seeing the two of you, have a good day.” I almost ran out the door. God he was still as attractive as he was years ago. I wanted to talk to him more.

I checked in my hotel and wondered where he was. I called Nikki, she said he still lived in the loft.
“Lila, what are you doing? You are married and you left him years ago.” “I just want to talk to him, Nik.” “Lila, please be careful and if you decide to cheat on your husband be smart about it.” “Nicole Paige! Why would you say that to me?” “Just looking out for my best friend, Lila Rae. I love you, call me when you’re finished.” “Thanks Nik, please don’t tell Brody.”

I finished eating and called Liam.
“Hello my love, how are you and my mini mes?” “Hey beautiful, we miss you already. We are on the beach, they have me looking for T-Cells.” I laughed, they were trying to say seashells. “Liam, they will have you out there all night.” We’ve been out here for hours already, they love the beach as much as their momma does.” “Okay love, I’m going to get some sleep. I will call you later.” “Sleep well beautiful, we love you.” “I love you three more, kiss Ads and Mads for me.”

I didn
’t dare mention my old friend. I called a cab and headed to Evan’s. I told the cab to go on, I would catch another one. He had a newer car, if that was his. Before, he drove an older Camaro. Now he was driving a Range Rover. I walked to the door. I felt my knees get shaky. I rang the doorbell. I started to turn and walk away, when Evan opened the door.

“
Well hello stranger.” “Hi Evan, are you alone?” “Yes Lila, I am.” “May I come in?” He held the door open and stepped to the side. The loft looked the same, he had different electronics but everything else was exactly the same. He had the same couch that we used to make love on.

Walking in his loft brought back so many memories.
“How have you been, Evan? Where is the Camaro?” He ran his hands through his hair. God, he was beautiful. “I’m okay, Lila, how are you and Liam? It’s back home, I didn’t drive it much anymore.” “We’re good, I thought you and Alyssa where together? Sorry I didn’t mean to say it like that. Oh I was hoping you didn’t get rid of that car, I always loved it.” “Lila you know how I feel about her. I could never get rid of old lady, you know I love that car.” “Oh I just thought, maybe by the way she said things. Are you a lawyer now?”

“
Yes, I am actually, I’m thinking of moving back to Utah and opening a practice there.” “That would be great Evan, how is your father doing?” “He’s doing pretty good, just taking things day by day. My aunt Frances still helps him out.”

“
What brings you here to New York?” “I’m here for Heather’s wedding. You remember her, don’t you?” “Yes, she used to date Lance, right?” “Yes, that’s her. She’s marrying Dustin Nelson.” “I haven’t seen either of them in years,” said Evan. “Heather and I stay in contact. She and Margie flew in for my wedding so I thought it was only fair I came to hers.”

“
How are your daughters? Brody told me about the wedding and how cute they were. He said they look just like you.” “Would you like to see pictures of them?” “Of course, I would.” I looked for pictures that Liam wasn’t in. “This was just last week, Addie is the one in the pink and Maddie is in the yellow.”

“
Lila, they do look just like you, with that curly blonde hair.” “I know, I feel sorry for them, I hate my hair.”

“
I see you’ve changed it.” I can’t believe he noticed after all these years. “Yes, it’s so much easier to take care of.” “Lila, why has it taken you this long to contact me?” Ah hell. Do I say I saw you in the café and wanted to kiss you and fuck you right there on the damn table?

“
Evan, I’m not sure. I will be honest with you, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and the time we spent together. I love my husband with everything that I am. But I also still love you. And I wanted to see you, I was here and I thought it would be the perfect time. I will go if you want me to. I know how hard it was for you to get over me.”

“
Over you, Lila? I never got over you! I love you as much today as I did six fucking years ago! When I saw you at your father’s funeral, it took everything I had not to scoop you up in my arms and just take you away. Then when we went to the guest house and made love, it broke me. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days. My heart was broken in twenty fucking pieces. You were my everything, Lila. I had never loved and wanted anything as bad as I want you.” I could see that his eyes had filled with unshed tears.

“
Oh Evan, sweetie I didn’t mean to… uh…I better go.” He grabbed my arm and when he touched me, I got chills all through my body. “Lila, you don’t have to go. We can catch up, my love for you will never change. I have tried to have relationships, but they just aren’t you. I even finally found Brynlea. She was back in Utah. Her parents did make her abort the baby, then they sent her to West Virginia to her grandparents. We talked for a few weeks. Hell, she couldn’t even make me happy. I’ll never be happy again.” I scooted closer and placed my hand on his arm. I wasn’t sure if I should or not, I was still attracted to him. Oh God, was I ever still attracted to him. I could feel his hurt and I just wanted to take it all away. Every word he spoke I could feel myself biting my lips.

“
Evan, I’m so sorry.” He placed his hand on mine, and held it for a long time while we sat there and filled each other in on the last four years. He knew a lot about my life from Brody, of course, but they never told me anything about him.

“
What are you doing for dinner, Evan?” “Whatever you want to do.” I smiled, that was my Evan. What was I thinking? I’m a married woman and I wanted to hang out with my old fling, wait he wasn’t a fling. I love him so much. I have never told Liam I still have these feelings for Evan.

“
I’m staying at that hotel, by the café.” He gave me this look, it was a sad look. Oh God, he remembers that hotel, I bet. “What are you doing now, Lila?” “I was hoping to hang out with you. I have missed you and it is great to be with you.” He smiled and kind of choked back his words.

“
Lila, you don’t even know how much this means to me. Would you like a beer?” “Sure, that sounds good.” What was I doing? I feel like a teenager that has a crush on an older guy and my parents forbid me to see him. How I would love to be in his arms, in his bed. “Here you go, darlin’.” Evan handed me my beer and the way he looked in my eyes, sent goose bumps up and down my arms. I got a chill. “You cold, Lila?” “Oh no, I’ll be okay. How about we go to the café and a walk around Central Park?” “That sounds great.” I had to get out of his place, I was having thoughts that a married woman shouldn’t have. We headed to the café. I wasn’t hungry considering I had just eaten. Well, I was hungry for Evan. God I just wanted to taste him one more time, it’d been four years. I’d been yearning for his touch.

“
Lila, it feels great sitting here with you.” “Evan, it brings back so many memories. Do you remember that time we came here around two a.m. because I wanted a BLT only from here?” “I was just thinking about that.” I smiled at him. I reached across the table and touched his hand.

“
Lila, how are you really? Are things good with you and Liam? I know he went through a lot when he was gone.” “Things are perfect with Liam and me. He has never changed! So what do you think, about Nikki and Brody getting married?”

“
I think it’s great, I was a little shocked. But I know how much he loves her.” “She is absolutely in love with that man. I’ve never seen her this happy.”

“
Thanks for bringing me here, Evan, I’m really enjoying myself.” “No problem. What are friends for?” I gave him a half smile, I could see that he was still hurting from all the pain I caused him. “How long are you staying?” “I will be here for a few more days, my mom and Eric’s girlfriend said they would help Liam with the twins.” “Eric started dating again.” “That’s great, he really loved Addison. I always wondered if he would move on.”

“
It has taken him a while. He met Kaylyn at UC, she’s studying to become a Nurse Practitioner. She is a terrific woman; my mom adores her. They found the young guy who killed Ads, he was sentenced to life without any possibility of parole. I was so happy that justice was served but he not only took the life of Ads and her baby, he also hung himself a year after he was convicted.”