Authors: Dale Herd
Empty Pockets (12 page)
“So the guy turns to the cops and says, I told you, what do I say now?
“Just repeat it.
“Well, he did, and the guy was made and sent to court and the judge gave him up to five and sent him to Quentin.
“Now it didn't seem right to me, but he was some guy they wanted to get so they got him. You know how it is, if they want you, they'll get you.
“Anyway, now it was my luck to be the one that had to drive him out to Quentin, me, and a cop named O'Brian. Now O'Brian was a square cop, he was on the straight, see, and I put it to him, I told him about it, that it didn't seem right to me.
“O'Brian listened to me and said, Well, the judge said he was guilty, didn't he?
“O'Brian wouldn't commit himself, see, but I still didn't think it was right and I said so.
“O'Brian didn't say anything, and we just took him out there, Knudson, I think his name was, and delivered him.
“Well, we're handing him over and while we're doing it O'Brian says to the guard, How's Hamilton doing? How's he been?
“Fine, the guard says.
“Can I talk to him? O'Brian says.
“Sure, Bill, the guard says. Whatever you want.
“That was his name, see, Bill, Bill O'Brian.
“So they called upstairs and had this Hamilton guy come down and O'Brian starts in talking with him, how's this, how's that, and so on. Well, this guy is in for rape, he's already done ten of it, and, Yes, everything's still the same, I'm still innocent, but it doesn't look like it's gonna do me any good. He's very polite about it, very gentlemanly, seems like a hell of a nice guy, and when we leave I tell O'Brian that, and O'Brian says, I know. Then he says, Listen, do you want to go downtown?
“Do I want to go downtown?
“I say, I don't know what you've got in mind, Bill, but that guy doesn't seem very guilty to me.
“I know, O'Brian says, and I'm going to get him out.
“So we go downtown and O'Brian pulls this guy's files and reads them over. I read along with him and when we're done I say, Bill, he sure seems all right to me.
“He does, O'Brian says, and he gets up and goes and calls a judge.
“Now this judge listens and says, What the hell, O'Brian, you're always sticking out for some guy who's not guilty.
“Well, read his record, O'Brian says, and tell me then.
“And that's what happened, he ordered the records over, read them, and freed the guy.”
“D
o you want a baby?”
“I don't know, do you?”
“I asked you.”
“I do if you do.”
“No, not yet. I'm not ready for that yet.”
“All right, I'm not either.”
“C'mere.”
“No.”
“C'mon!”
“No!”
“What the hell! One minute you're asking me if I want a baby and then the next you're cranky. Don't be so goddamn cranky.”
“That's just the way I am. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm not.”
“G
oing in the car I didn't think about it. I didn't start thinking about it until we'd already started running. Thinking isn't supposed to happen when you're in action, but that's not true. It isn't true at all. I'm thinking I don't like the way he shoots pool. Some guys when they shoot, they just don't win. They shoot good until the money shot, the eight-ball shot, then they choke. He's like that. Also, he won't say where he got the caps and crimpers, things you just can't buy! So there it is, I'm running my ass off, my heart up in my mouth, and that's what I'm thinking. I've told Tom what I think. He said, So what, man? What if he is? Our karma's too strong. What we're doing is right. Even if he is a snitch, no way he'll turn us over. But that's what I'm thinking when I hear it. I'm running like a son of a bitch and I hear it. I'm already off the fucking campus sprinting for the car and I hear it. First there's a thud, a really heavy thud, then a crackle, a long going-on-and-on crackle, then nothing, and I'm at the car scrambling to get in. Jesus Christ, Willy! John is yelling, We fucking did it! William! Tom is yelling at me. E
EEEEEEYOW
! he's yelling. Get this fucker going! I'm yelling. The car is already going. E
EEEEEEEYOW
, Tom is yelling, we did it! We fucking did it! No shit! I'm yelling. John is pounding the seat. Willy, he yells, no shit! No fucking shit! I start yelling, too. Tom is driving like a son of a bitch.”
T
hey were married to different people but she got wet talking to him and he said, “Okay but afterward I won't be able to see you again.”
No, that wasn't acceptable.
He said, “That's the way it is.”
She said she didn't think so, but she was willing to take her chances with that.
He said, “No, I mean it,” and he stopped it.
The next time they meet, it is by chance. Eight years have passed. They meet on a street in a larger town. She looks the same. He immediately thinks of that night. It excites him to think of it. He has remarried and so has she. She says, “We have some unfinished business.” He can't believe it. “We do,” he says, and he loves her for saying it, but as he stands there he starts remembering more of it, remembering bringing her inside, her lying down on the living room floor, her body literally going out of control on her, cramping on her, her moans embarrassing the hell out of him, him in the bedroom talking to his wife, the moans coming through the walls, him saying, No, no, nothing happened, she's just weird, is all, his wife saying, You did, didn't you, I know you did, if you didn't why would you even be in here saying anything, you'd be out there trying to help! Why don't you, you bastard, can't you finish what you've started, you can't, can you?
“But no,” he says, “I'm flattered,” he says, “but I really can't.”
She smiles as he says this.
“I thought you'd say that,” she says, “I could see it in your face, and I think that's amusing,” she says, “because what you are is a male chauvinist pig, you realize that, and what's more this whole fucking town is full of men like you who think they're men, but they're not.”
“A male chauvinist pig!” he says. “No,” he laughs, “you're certainly wrong there.”
She laughs too.
They stand there for a moment looking at each other.
Then she smiles at him and suddenly kisses him on the cheek.
“So long, John Wayne,” she says, walking past him, “I've got to run.”
“Hey!” he says to her, starting to go after her.
“No,” she says back over her shoulder, “I really do have to run. Bye-bye.”
“S
he wasn't yelling or anything, just running toward a group of hooches we'd set on fire, probably to get some kids out or something. A couple of kids ran out of one of the hooches, and there weren't any others so that was okay, we checked that, but she probably didn't know it, didn't know we'd checked it, so she just kept running even though we were yelling at her. The lieutenant told me to fire a burst over her head. I did, but she went down. I thought I'd missed her, all we wanted to do was have her stop, but when we went over and looked, I'd hit her, all right, she was lying facedown and the back of her head wasn't there.
“All I had to say at the court-martial was that I was ordered to fire over her head and thought I had, but I hit her, and I'm sick about it. They exonerated me, but out in the hall after it was over, one of the officers called me a dumb hick son of a bitch and said it was assholes like me that were ruining the Army.
“I do feel shitty about it, and I did it, it's there, there's nothing I can do about it, I killed other people there, I know that, but that doesn't bother me, that was exciting, I liked it, but I never knew for sure. I always wanted to. I thought I think I'll paint my bullets so when we count I'll know for sure it was me. I knew I had, see, so I really didn't have to know for sure, but this was different. I had a nice girl over there. At first I bought her, then she was just mine. It's hard getting used to American girls again. Everything they think goes right across their faces. You can see right through them.
“I don't know what I'm gonna do. That's what they always wanna know. Who the hell does? Some guys do, I guess. I had this one girl the other night. I'd picked her up on the beach and brought her over to the motel. I told you my car was broke down, didn't I? Well, I'd called my mom for help. I needed sixty bucks or so for some new pushrods, and instead of wiring it to
me, since I'm in Seal Beach, she drives down right away. Well, I'm in there starting to get it on, right, and in she walks. She doesn't even knock! No shit! She just looks at us, turns around, and walks out! I had to go outside and catch her. She was really pissed. I had to laugh. She asked me what good was all this running around doing me? I said I didn't know. She said if I really wanted to be an actor, like I said, I should move back to L.A. and go to
UCLA
winter quarter, they've got the best acting school in the country. Use your GI Bill, she said. I don't know. Maybe I will. I don't know yet. It's a thought.”
“T
he universe isn't as mysterious as you think. Hidden laws no one has told you about eventually make themselves known. If, for example, twenty minutes before your second wedding, this one taking place in Oxnard, California, you stand outside the offices of the Justice of Peace and find yourself arguing with your wife-to-be as to whether or not she will be faithful and she says she can't say, she doesn't know, no one knows what the future holds, she can't say yes to something she doesn't know the answer to, you better conclude the argument with no yes, no marriage. If you don't, and she doesn't agree, the marriage then taking place, three years later here are three sentences you will hear: (1) âSex isn't that important'; (2) âIt's just another way of knowing someone'; (3) âI don't know how to tell you this.'”
“Y
ou can't be nice and give them that sweetness and candle-light talk. âCut the shit, man.' I love that. I love them. That look. Those high cheekbones. They'll cut you right off. You ignore them, you have to ignore them. The better-looking they are, the more you ignore them. You say, âWho are you? What do you do anyway? I don't give a shit what you think. If I want to be nice to you I'll be nice to you. Fuck that. Fuck you.' Ah, they love that. They love power. All Scandinavian girls are like that. They go right for it. Sensitivity, no. Looks, no. But bust them, yes. Once you bust them, you've got them spread. It's true. You know how you've got them across your lap, you're moving them across your lap, and they get that hazy look in their eyes. Hmmmm, you know that look, ah, God, and they're the only ones, too, those blue, blue eyes, and you start to pull it out and they say, âNo, no, don't,' and their arms and legs go all steely around you, so you pull back and âPow, pow,' slap them right across the kisser, âDon't tell me what to do, don't ever tell me what to do.' Ah, shit, man, they love it. You've got to do it that way. Then you've got them.”
“T
hey think because they see it it's theirs. They're like that, all of them, that it's just there for them. They think it didn't exist before they saw it, that as soon as they see it they can put their hands on it, that it's theirs to put their hands on because they see it. They never can. The only ones that can are the ones that don't grab for it, the ones that lay back, and they only can if I decide they can. I certainly remember when the change came in me. I remember the exact moment. It was at a party. I couldn't get Paul to say anything. I don't mean at the party, I mean at any time. He would never talk to me. Not about anything. I tried all kinds of things to open him up. I was telling this woman I really respected about it, an older woman. I can't get that man to open up to me, I said. I said, I'd really like to get in his head for a while, to see what is really going on with him, to really know what he thinks. I said, I'd give anything to know what is going on with him. How old are you, she said, twenty-five? I said I was. She said, Yeah, that's about right. She said, Because I'm twenty-eight and there's no way I'm gonna be trying to find out what's in some man's head. If he can't open his mouth and tell me himself, she said, forget it, who needs it.”
“I
don't know,” he said, “there might not be a damn thing left.”
“Let's go see, huh, Weird?” he said to the cat.
Walking into the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator.
“Look at this.”
It was completely empty.
“She took all the food, huh?” said Bruce. “She took all the furniture and she took all the food?”
