Exposed (Tropical Nights) (13 page)

“What the
—”

“And this,” Rachel interrupted, “is
Bixo orellana
, also known as Anito.” She broke open the pods she’d collected and scooped out the bright red seeds nestled within.

“Damn,
how do you make everything sound so sexy?”

“Oh, be quiet,” Rachel said with a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m serious. I could listen to you spout scientific jargon all day.”

“I know. That’s why it’s
so ridiculous.”

Leo’s laugh
ter turned to a confused look as Rachel dotted the juice from the crushed seeds over his skin, leaving random red dots everywhere that dried clear. “What are you doing to me?”

“Anito keeps the bugs away. It’s what the native Caribbean islanders used before they could drive down to the store for a can of insect repellant.”

“Does it actually work?”

Rachel shrugged. “
I have no idea, I’ve never actually tried it. I guess we’ll find out.”

“How do you know all this?” He sounded impressed.

“I wrote an article on chemical prospecting.”

“Chemical what?”

“Chemical prospecting. Scientists go into the deepest, most remote jungles of the world and collect samples of the various plants and animals. They isolate and study the chemicals found in the samples, discovering new medicines and other helpful compounds.”

“And your economic hook is
…what? I can’t imagine you’d highlight the billions of dollars made from selling plant-derived pharmaceuticals.”

Rachel smiled at how well he knew her. “No. I mean, companies
do
make huge profits off what’s discovered, but that isn’t what I focused on. I looked at how the vast potential of an area’s biodiversity changed its valuation and thus the most economically expedient use of the land. For a long time, people thought a jungle’s biggest value was in cutting it down, selling the lumber, and farming on the newly exposed soil.”

“But the prospect, if you will, of billions of dollars of potential life-saving chemicals changed that calculation.”

“Exactly. Logging isn’t very sustainable, and cleared jungles leave notoriously nutrient-poor soils, meaning farming it is barely profitable. In many cases, it’s a better deal for everyone to leave the forest intact and mine it for usable compounds. Sometimes—” She cut herself off, embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m going off on a tangent again. I don’t mean to bore you with a lecture.”

“Don’t be sorry. I meant what I said.
You make this stuff incredibly interesting.”

Rachel bit her lip. She normally tried to stop herself from making that
stupid, self-conscious gesture, but she’d noticed that every time she did it Leo’s eyes flashed with a deliciously dangerous hunger, like he was about to grab her, throw her down, and ravish her from head to toe. She loved that look, as silly as it was to get so giddy over it, and so she’d decided early on to let herself gnaw on her lip until it was raw.

Leo’s gaze was glued to her mouth, and wh
en he finally tore it away, it seemed like it was with great effort. “Why is it you’ve never traveled to the tropics?” He looked her pointedly in the eye. “You obviously love it here. You know about the plants and animals. You’ve even written articles about it. You should have at least come down here for research.”

Rachel looked away from Leo and stared at the
river, watching the water tumble from the high cliff and crash into the pool collecting below. She was buying time, trying to decide what to tell him, not even sure what the real answer was. “When my mother died,” she began, deciding to be honest, not just with Leo, but also finally with herself, “it crushed my brother and father.” She didn’t look at him, but she sensed Leo go still beside her. “They’d always depended on her so heavily, and when she was gone, they were lost. We’d always been the strong ones, my mom and I, and now it was up to me to take care of them. I lived at home during college, paying the bills and running the house and trying to keep them on track. When I moved to the city for journalism school, I still sent money back and traveled home as often as they could.” Rachel paused, choosing what to say next, how much to tell him. “I tried so hard to help them, but it never seemed like enough. Jamie floundered in college, eventually dropping out. My dad sunk into a depression he could never climb out of, and he was ‘encouraged’ to take an early retirement.” Rachel tried to swallow over the lump in her throat. “Dad lost the house last month, leaving both of them homeless. What could I do but have them move in with me?” Rachel took a deep breath and exhaled it roughly. “God, listen to me ramble.”

“What about you?” Leo’s question was so quiet Rachel wasn’t sure at first she hadn’t just imagined him asking it.

She finally looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve told me how everything affected your dad and brother, how hard it was for them. Where do you fit into all this? Who is taking care of
you
?” His eyes were filled with such heartbreaking understanding Rachel had to look away again.

“
I
do,” she said, trying to hold her voice steady. “It’s like I said, I’ve always been the strongest. It had to be me taking care of them. I’ve been so wrapped up in it, though, that I’ve never taken the time—or had the extra money—to travel. Or do much else, really.”

Leo reached for her. Rachel wanted to pull away, not sure she could handle any tenderness from him right now without dissolving into a blubbering mess. He had her in is arms before she reac
t though, gathering her into his lap. She leaned into him, stealing the heat and comfort from his bare chest.

He hugged her tightly.
“It’s so hard to believe that life can go on like normal, isn’t it? That the whole world doesn’t grind to screeching halt like it should. That somehow, you have to find some way to carry on, to stumble through life even though your heart’s been ripped out and buried under the cold, hard dirt.” He spoke into her hair, his voice gruff. “But you have to find a way, you know. Otherwise, you’re as good as buried with them.”

“How do
you
do it?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure I
have
been doing it. I think I may have just been going through the motions. It’s easier that way. At least, it
feels
easier in the short term. In the long term, it’s isolating and lonely. I never minded before, but now…” He stroked her arm slowly. “When I look at you, I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to just go through the motions, doing what needs to be done and mouthing the words that need to be said. You make me want to
live
.”

Rachel twisted in his arms so she could meet his eye.
His words affected her deeply, touching something in her that she had blocked off a decade ago. Leo’s tender concern for her, his willingness to let her see his vulnerability, the strength of her own feelings for him—it all made her realize how much she needed that part of her, how broken she was without it. “You’re right. I’ve been putting my life on hold for too long.” She leaned into him, resting her head against his chin. “It’s just so much easier to hide from life than actually live it.”

Leo brought a hand to her face and gently brushed his thumb across her cheek. “I know, baby. It’s the hardest thing in the world.”

They sat together silently for untold moments, finding comfort in each other’s nearness. It was a completely novel experience for Rachel to be soothed by someone, for another person to ask her how she felt and what she needed, rather than her being the one to take on another’s problems. It was strange and confusing for her at first, but she eventually found calmness in his arms. He held her tightly, patiently, his feelings for her evident in his every breath and touch. Her heart swelled with gratitude for his support as much as it ached with empathy at the tragedies he’d also faced.

“I’m sorry about your parents,”
Rachel whispered against his neck. She felt Leo tense slightly at her words. “It was hard enough to lose my mom, I can’t even imagine…” She trailed off, feeling awkward and uncertain. She didn’t want to cause him pain by bringing up his parents, but she needed him to know how much she cared about his loss, that she was as willing to help shoulder his burdens as he was to take on hers.

“Thank you.”

It was such a simple statement, but those two words were imbued with such relief and depth of emotion that Rachel knew how much her understanding meant to him. She could also hear his hesitation, how difficult it was for him to open up to someone. She knew it was monumental that Leo had talked to her about this at all, that he had let someone see beneath his rock-solid and serenely confident exterior to glimpse the vulnerabilities within. But she didn’t want to push him further than he was ready to go right now, and so she let the silence hang between them.

They sat together on the rocky edge of the riverbed, entwined in each other’s arms, letting the sun warm their skin as they listened to the sounds of the forest: the rush of the water tumbling over the cliff, the chirping insects buzzing through the trees, the warbling calls of the brightly-colored birds flyi
ng overhead. Rachel thought she’d be happy to stay there forever, alone with Leo, no thoughts or worries for the outside world. But the sun was dropping from its zenith, signaling the lateness of afternoon, and Rachel knew they couldn’t stay much longer.

“We should head back,” Leo said, speaking her thoughts. “We have a few hours’ hike back the jeep, and we’re not equipped to do it in failing daylight. Once the sun dips behind the trees, it gets dark quickly in the forest.”

Rachel sighed and stretched her legs, in no hurry to move. Leo shifted her off his lap and stood. Rachel took one last look around as Leo pulled her to her feet, committing every detail of the incredible scene to memory before she had to leave it. Then they packed up their things and headed back down the trail.

The hiking was easier and faster
on the way back, since they were headed downhill, and so Rachel was surprised at how protective Leo suddenly seemed. He reached out to lift her over every log or boulder that blocked the path. He frequently put his hand on her back to guide or steady her as she walked along in front of him, constantly stopped and turned around to ask if she was okay when she was behind.

“You don’t need to worry so much,” she finally told him. “
I know I can be klutzy, but we’ve been hiking all day and I haven’t so much as stumbled. I’m fine.”

“I know.
” He looked sheepish. “It’s not you. It’s me. You make me…I just…” Leo looked away. “Caveman,” he muttered.

Rachel stopped walking and stared at him.
“What?” She
had
to have heard that incorrectly.

“I know you don’t need my help. You’ve been stomping through the forest like you were born here, I just
…” He grinned and gave a slight shake of his head, like it was all too ridiculous. “Something about you triggers my baser instincts. When I look at you, all my animalistic drives and raw protectiveness rear up and I go all caveman. I want to throw you over my shoulder and run through the forest like an idiot, thumping my chest and wrestling alligators to the ground with my bare hands.”

Rachel bit her lip
—this time in an honest effort to stop her rising giggles—and looked at the ground, not wanting him to see the expression on her face.

“It’s okay, you can laugh,” he told her.

She peaked up at him through her lashes and burst into laughter, unable to contain it any longer. Leo feigned dismay, but the edges of his mouth curled up in a suppressed smile and she knew he found it just as funny as she did.

“Alligators?” she said between laughs. “Really?”

Leo shrugged, his eyes dancing, and flexed his arms in a classic strongman pose. Rachel laughed harder, her sides aching as she gasped for breath. She didn’t know why it struck her as so funny, other than the sheer incongruity of the ever-sophisticated and almost arrogantly composed Leo Hanlon talking about wrestling wild reptiles for her while showing off his muscles. When she first met him in all his ultra confident, powerful-businessman glory, effortlessly sealing multi-million dollar deals and commanding great respect from clients and employees alike, she would have never guessed there lurked such a fun silliness in him. She sensed there were very few people he trusted well enough to see this side of him, and she was honored to be one of them.

“It’s not that funny,” Leo said with mock admonishment, but his mouth was open in a wide grin and his shoulders shook with hints of laughter he couldn’t completely contain, ruining the effect of sternness he was pretending to convey.

“It is
so
that funny,” she said. Rachel coughed and tried to stop laughing, but then Leo flexed again, egging her on, and she dissolved into more giggles. Trying once more to control herself, she bit her lip and stared at him.

“
Oh, that’s it.”

Leo’s eyes flashed as he stepped toward her. Rachel shrieked and stepped
away but her retreat was cut off when her back pressed into a tree. Leo gave an exaggerated growl as he grasped one of her hands and slipped an arm across the backs of her thighs. He swung her over his shoulder and ran down the trail, dramatically leaping over the smallest branch or rock in his path, making Rachel laugh so hard tears streamed down her cheeks.