Fabulous Five 007 - The Kissing Disaster (4 page)

When Melanie left the cafeteria, the first person she saw
was Funny Hawthorne.

"Hi, Melanie," Funny called out in her usual
bubbly way as they passed in the hall.

"Hi, Funny," said Melanie. She whirled around and
reached out to stop Funny. "By the way, have you heard about Dracula's
biology project yet?"

"Sure," said Funny. "It's all over school.
What a scream."

"Have you thought about getting some pictures of kids
working on their eyeballs for the seventh-grade section of the yearbook?"

"Wow! What a terrific idea," cried Funny. "What
time do you have the class?"

"First period after lunch."

"Excellent. I have study hall then. I'll get a camera from
the yearbook staff room and see if I can get permission to come into the class
and shoot pictures. I'd better run if I'm going to get all that done before the
bell rings."

Funny took off down the hall and then skidded to a stop. "Melanie,"
she called over her shoulder, "thanks a million for the idea."

Melanie nodded and watched with mixed feelings as Funny
raced toward the yearbook staff room. She really should have told Jana. After
all, they had been best friends for ages. But another part of her was glad that
she had told Funny instead.

She wandered out of the building and sat down on the front
steps. She had remembered to borrow Shane's biology notes in English class this
morning, and this was a good time to copy them. She certainly wouldn't have
time to do it tonight because the music committee was having its first meeting
and Miss Dickinson had given a huge reading assignment in English. She would
probably be up late again tonight. Just thinking about it made her tired.

She yawned and shook the cobwebs from her head, trying to
focus on copying the biology notes. Instead, her mind wandered. Why did things
always have to get so complicated? she wondered. If her friends hadn't started
snubbing her in the first place, she wouldn't have to work so hard to make new
friends. She sat there for a long time staring off into space and thinking
about the situation with her friends. Sometimes she felt like crying when she
thought about the great times they had had together. No matter how she tried to
fake it, making new friends would never be the same.

The bell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She still hadn't
finished copying Shane's biology notes and it was time for class. Maybe she
could borrow them again later.

When she got to the biology room, Funny was waiting for her,
standing beside the row of cages where Mr. Dracovitch kept his menagerie, and
wearing her usual big smile. There was a camera in her hand.

When Melanie walked up, Funny pointed to the cages and
asked, "You don't have to dissect any of these, do you?"

Melanie chuckled. "No. They're just his pets. The two
crows are Heckle and Jeckle, after the cartoon crows, and the snake is named
Sirloin Snake. Isn't that hysterical?"

Funny nodded. "It's all set up," she said. "Mr.
Dracovitch was really nice about letting me take pictures during the class."
Looking toward the teacher, she covered her mouth with her hand and whispered, "Does
he know yet that he gets to be a chaperon for our monster dance?"

Melanie shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's up to
Curtis to invite him. He's the dance chairman."

"Mr. Dracovitch will be perfect," said Funny. "Clarence
Marshall
swears
that he brings formaldehyde instead of coffee in his
thermos."

"Oh, come on," said Melanie. "That's silly.
Besides, how would Clarence know a thing like that?"

"Do you remember when Clarence had to be hall monitor
for a week when Teen Court found him guilty of fighting with Tony Calcaterra?"

Melanie nodded.

"Well, according to Clarence, he had to take a phone
message to someone in the teachers' lounge, and he saw Dracula pour
formaldehyde out of the thermos, into a cup, and then take a drink. He said he
knew it was formaldehyde because he could smell it all the way across the room."

"All right, class," called Mr. Dracovitch
suddenly. "Time to take your seats and get started."

Melanie drifted to her seat, feeling strange about what
Funny had just told her. Clarence Marshall wasn't the most trustworthy person
in the world, of course. But Mr. Dracovitch was a little weird. Surely he
realized that his toupee made him look exactly like Dracula. Was there some
reason he wore such a black, shiny one and pulled it so far down on his
forehead? Why couldn't he wear a brown, curly wig? Or a blond one? And hadn't
he said the first day of the experiment that he liked the smell of
formaldehyde? Was it possible that he liked it well enough to drink it?

When everyone was seated, Mr. Dracovitch started talking
about how the eye worked. He discussed the pupil and the lens and the retina
and then said the class was ready to begin dissecting their cows' eyeballs to
see what all these parts looked like.

When they got to the dissecting tables, Mr. Dracovitch
allowed Funny to wander around, taking pictures of first one team and then
another. Shane crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, hamming it up and
pretending he was dying when she stopped at their table.

"Cut it out, Shane," Melanie whispered. "Don't
you want her to choose our picture for the yearbook?"

Shane gave her a surprised look. "Yeah, you're right,"
he said. He picked up the big, bluish-black eyeball and held it high.

"Grab on," he instructed Melanie. "Then we'll
give her our toothiest grins. She'll never be able to pass up a photo like
that."

"You've got to be kidding," Melanie muttered. She
hadn't meant for him to carry things that far.

"Think of the publicity," said Shane. "And
hurry up. Formaldehyde is running down my arm."

Melanie shook her head at Shane in wonder, but she had to
admit it would be good publicity. She could certainly use every bit she could
get. She took a deep breath and slowly reached for the eyeball, being careful
not to look at it. She flinched slightly when her fingers touched the slimy thing,
but she held the pose and smiled her best at Funny as the camera flashed.

Melanie was fifteen minutes late arriving for the music
committee meeting. She had been hurrying as fast as she could ever since she
got home from school, but there was just simply too much to do and too little
time now that she was attending dance committee meetings every single night of
the week.

She pushed open the media center door and eased in quietly.
Shane, Joel Murphy, Laura McCall, Brad Eisenhauer, and Jon Smith were seated at
a library table listening to Curtis, who had the floor.

"We aren't going to have much money to work with,"
Curtis was saying. He paused when he noticed Melanie enter the room.

She looked toward the table and was surprised to see Shane
motioning her to an empty chair on his left. It was all that Melanie could do
to keep from shooting a triumphant look in Laura's direction as she ducked
across the room and dropped into the chair.

"We can't really afford a band," Curtis went on
once she was seated.

"What about a disc jockey from one of the local
stations to play records?" asked Laura. She looked at Shane the whole time
she was talking, and Melanie knew she was trying to get his attention.

Jon Smith shook his head. "They're expensive, too. Maybe
we could get somebody from our own class to be the disc jockey."

Melanie's face lit up and her hand shot into the air as she
got a brilliant idea. "How about Shane?" she shouted. "He has
tons of albums and tapes, and he'd do a
great job
."

For an instant she felt embarrassed about her outburst.
Everybody was looking at her, including Shane. They probably thought she had
flipped out. And what if he didn't want to do it? Or what if the committee
thought it was a dumb idea?

Then Brad Eisenhauer shouted out, "Yeah. Shane would be
terrific."

"Would you do it?" Curtis asked Shane, and Melanie
held her breath, praying that he would say yes.

Shane didn't say anything for a moment. He seemed to be
thinking it over. Finally a slow smile spread over his face, and he looked
around the table and said, "Only if my assistant can come along."

"Your assistant?" Curtis said, puzzled.

"Sure," said Shane. "Igor, who else?"

The whole committee broke up over that, and it took Curtis
forever to get everyone settled down so that he could take a vote.

When the meeting broke up and they were heading for the
door, Melanie saw Laura watching her and Shane out of the corner of her eye as
they walked out together. He hadn't paid the slightest attention to Laura all
during the meeting, and now he turned to Melanie and said, "Do you realize
that you may have just started me on a lifetime career as a disc jockey?"

Melanie laughed. "You and Igor. Are you serious about
bringing him to the dance as your assistant? What can he do?"

Shane faked looking hurt. "You underestimate him. Igor
can do lots of things."

"Like what?"

"Well, he can change the records and tapes, for one
thing," Shane insisted. "And pick out what to play next."

"
Shuuure
he can," Melanie said slyly.

"Speaking of picking out the music," Shane said
when they reached the media center door, "why don't I come over to your
house Friday night and bring my albums? We can look through them and pick out
what to play for the dance."

Melanie's heart missed a beat. "Do you mean just the
two of us? Without the rest of the committee?"

"Sure." Then he added with a grin, "Unless
you want me to bring Igor."

"I'm sure he would pick out some great tunes," she
joked, "but I think we can get along without him this time."

Melanie was amazed to see that it was already ten o'clock
when she and Shane said good-bye, and she hurried to the school's pay phone to
call her father to pick her up from the meeting. She dialed and then rubbed her
eyes sleepily as she waited for someone to answer the phone. How had it gotten
so late so fast? she wondered. She still had Shane's biology notes to copy and
fifteen pages to read for English Lit. She also wanted to wash out her new pink
shirt to wear tomorrow. She would be absolutely dead when it came time to get
up in the morning.

She did manage to wash out her shirt and copy Shane's notes,
but when she tried to read, the words blurred together. Finally she decided to
set her alarm for half an hour earlier than usual so that she could finish her
reading assignment in the morning.

When the alarm went off, it was still dark outside, and
Melanie couldn't believe that it was time to get up already. She sat up and
checked her clock and then fell back against the pillow in disgust. It was
morning, after all, and she was totally exhausted. How could she possibly do
her reading assignment when her eyes refused to open? Maybe she could rest for
just a few more minutes. . . .

She woke up to the sound of the telephone ringing. Sun was
streaming in her window.

"Oh, my gosh!" she yelped, jumping straight up in
bed.

The clock on her bedside table said 9:37, and the sound of
the telephone pierced the air like a siren.

She had gone back to sleep! And no one in her family had
bothered to wake her! Where was everybody? Why didn't her mother or Jeffy
answer the phone?

She sailed out of bed and ran for the phone, grabbing the
receiver just as it rang for the umpteenth time. She was so out of breath she
could barely say hello.

"Good morning," a woman said crisply. "This
is the Wakeman Junior High attendance office. Am I speaking to Mrs. Edwards?"

Melanie was thunderstruck. All she could do for a moment was
stare at the phone and listen to her heart pound.
The Wakeman Junior High
attendance office?
They were checking up on her. Calling to ask why she wasn't
in school and why her mother hadn't called the attendance office to report the
absence before nine o'clock the way she was supposed to. I can't fake it, she
thought. She'll know I'm not my mother.

"No," she answered. "This is Melanie. I think
my mother must have gone out early and forgotten to wake me. I'll get there as
soon as I can . . . if that's okay."

There was a pause on the other end of the line and then a
sigh, and finally the woman replied, "All right. We'll let it go this
time."

Melanie ducked into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of
milk and look for a note from her mother. She found the note in the middle of
the kitchen table. It was just as she had thought. Her mother and little
brother had left early and would be gone for the day. Of course she didn't wake
me, Melanie reasoned, I always set my alarm.

Oh, brother, she thought as she raced to her room to get
ready for school. I hope the rest of the day isn't going to be like this.

Even though Melanie rushed, by the time she had showered,
washed and blow-dried her hair, and dressed, it was lunch period at school. In
her hurry to get out of the house she had forgotten to fix herself a lunch.

"I'm famished," she mumbled as she entered the
cafeteria where the smell of sloppy joes rose from the steam tables. Even
though it was anyone's guess what they were made from, it was generally agreed
that sloppy joes were the best of what the Wacko cafeteria had to offer.

"Rats!" she said twice as loud, pulling a handful
of change out of her purse. "I don't have enough money for hot lunch."
Sighing, she got potato chips out of the snack machine and surveyed the crowded
lunchroom for someone to sit with.

Beth was alone at the table where The Fabulous Five usually
sat together. She was munching away on an apple and writing something in her
notebook. Should I go over and sit with her and act as if everything is normal
between us? Melanie wondered. If she looks over at me and waves, it would be
okay, she decided. Otherwise . . . maybe not. It would be too embarrassing if I
go over on my own and she doesn't even say hello.

Melanie glanced around some more. Christie was on the other
side of the cafeteria sitting with Jon. They were laughing and talking together
as if there were no one else in the room. Jana and Funny sat together in the
far corner. There wasn't much doubt what they were talking about: the yearbook.
That seemed to be all Jana could think about anymore. Katie was nowhere to be
seen, but Melanie supposed she was with some of her fellow judges on Teen
Court. They're probably discussing a case, she thought. She stood by the snack
machine for a moment feeling depressed and trying to decide what to do. She had
to bite her lip to keep it from quivering.

She stole quick glances toward each of The Fabulous Five.
She didn't want them to see her looking and think she was begging to sit with
them, but she didn't want to miss it if one of them saw her and motioned for
her to come over.

"Hi, Melanie. Where have you been? Did you hear the big
news yet?" Sara Sawyer had approached her and looked as if she were about
to burst.

"Gosh, no," said Melanie. "I overslept and
just got to school. What happened?"

"Sirloin is missing. Everybody's scared to death."

Melanie squinted at Sara and asked in a puzzled voice, "Sirloin
is missing? What are you talking about?"

"You know. Dracula's pet, Sirloin Snake. He's missing
from his cage in the biology room, and wait until you hear all the rumors that
are flying around."

Melanie's scalp prickled at the thought of a snake loose in
the school. "What kind of rumors?"

"You know how kids joke about Mr. Dracovitch's being
Dracula?" Sara began, and Melanie nodded. "Well, now they're saving
all kinds of crazy things. For instance, Dracula bit Sirloin, turning him into
a vampire, and then turned him loose in the school to make vampires out of all
the kids."

"You're kidding," said Melanie. "Nobody would
believe a thing like that. Calling Mr. Dracovitch Dracula is just a joke."

"Sure, it's a joke, but nobody's taking any chances.
Half the kids in my morning classes sat with their feet up in their chairs. Mr.
Naset ordered everybody in our history class to put their feet on the floor,
but nobody budged. Joel Murphy even yelled out, 'I'm not going to be turned
into a vampire! No way!' and everybody in the class applauded."

"Wow!" said Melanie, automatically looking toward
the floor for anything that might be slithering around her own feet. She didn't
really believe that her biology teacher was a vampire, but she had to admit
that she didn't want to take any chances either. "What does Mr. Dracovitch
say happened to Sirloin?" she asked.

Sara shrugged. "Just that one of the hinges on the door
to his cage broke or fell off or something and that Sirloin got out on his own.
He also says that snakes are mostly nocturnal and that Sirloin is probably
curled up in a dark corner somewhere sleeping until nighttime. He
says
that nobody has anything to worry about because Sirloin is a common garden
snake and won't bite unless he's threatened, and that even if he did bite, he
isn't poisonous. But I don't know. A snake is a snake, if you ask me."

"And a vampire is a vampire," said Alexis, who had
come up while Sara was talking.

"So, what's going to happen?" asked Melanie. "I
mean, is anybody looking for it? Did anybody form a snake patrol, or anything?
I can't believe they didn't call off school."

Alexis shook her head. "Mr. Bell came over the
loudspeaker during first period and instructed everybody to stay calm."

"He also said that if anybody saw the snake they were
to leave it alone and tell a teacher immediately," said Sara.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," growled Alexis. "I'm
not going
anywhere
alone. Not to the rest room. Not to my locker. Not
anywhere! Not until that snake is found."

Melanie's eyes widened as she thought about opening her
locker and finding a snake inside. Still, she reasoned, there was no way for it
to get into her locker. The door was locked, and snakes were too big to slip
through any of the vents. She shuddered. All the same, she agreed with Alexis.
She wouldn't go to her locker alone until the snake was found. Eeek! she
thought an instant later. I have biology next period, and I need to go to my
locker to get my book.

"Speaking of lockers, anybody interested in walking
with me to
my
locker?" she asked.

"Sorry," said Alexis. "I've got to talk to
Lisa Snow."

"Can't," said Sara. "I was supposed to be in
the media center five minutes ago to look up some history stuff with Stacy Holgrem."

Melanie glanced at her watch as the others smiled apologetically
and left. "Great. Just great," she muttered. It was less than five
minutes until time for the bell. She hadn't even eaten a single potato chip
yet, and she was starving. Worst of all, she needed to go to her locker, and
there just might be a vampire snake curled up inside waiting to jump out and
bite her. So much for my day's getting any better, she thought.