Falling by Design (7 page)

"So babe, tell me, have you discovered the secrets of the universe yet?" Chance asks as we make our way through the doors. "Or just created enough clothes to make it pretty?"

"Eloquently put, Chance," I snicker as he lets me slide inside the booth before following in. I'm hoping Dakota sits down in front of me, but no such luck. I’ve felt Grayson's eyes on me since the moment we got out of the car. Now he's sitting right in front of me and I can't ignore him any longer. I move my gaze to his, finding him studying me intently. I stare right back.

"You still into design?" Grayson asks. The question leaves me completely baffled. He asks as if he cares, as if he truly wants to know. I stare at him in shock, until I feel Chance's fingers squeeze my shoulder a bit.

"Hey Chance," Our heads whip in her direction, surprise clear on our faces. Dakota has this rule about never engaging Chance directly. "I think we should go order." Before either of us can point out the fact that the waitress comes to us, Dakota takes hold of Chance, pulling him off me and tugging him behind her. I stare after her in shock. I can't believe her.

She left me alone with Grayson.

ELEVEN

Smile. It scares people. - Author Unknown

He watches me, his eyes shining in the bright light of the diner.

I squirm in my seat, unsure what to do with myself. My hands move from my lap to the table and back to the lap again. I shift left then right then left. I'm like a kid at her first adult church service, who hasn’t learned how to sit still yet. I'm about to start climbing on chairs or coloring on the table. Grayson continues to stare, his fingers running over the ever present camera, now placed on top of the table, not exactly helping the situation any. Finally, as if unable to help it, he snaps a picture.

"Do you mind?" I hiss across the table, trying to keep my voice down. Grayson blinks at me.

"Finally, a genuine reaction. I was beginning to think you've sold your heart on the black market." He's baiting me. I can see that plain as day. I should be the mature one and just let it go, but I can't help it. I rise to the challenge.

"Is that what happened to yours? Did you bargain away your manners and common sense as well?" I take him by surprise with my words and his smirk freezes before it turns into a full blown laugh. I see a few girls turn our way, not that they haven't been watching us already, and I’m uncomfortable at the scrutiny. I've never seen them before, a lot of kids from local high schools hang out here, but it still makes me clench my teeth a bit. Grayson is not exactly hard on the eyes, and these girls can definitely see that. Not that it matters to me. He can flirt with the whole room if he feels like it. I'm not his keeper. I don't care. I stumble a bit over my own thoughts because they don't taste like truth. 

"Boy, you really mastered those comebacks haven't you? Your walls are way higher than I remember them."

"Well, live and learn right?" I reply. "And I’ve had a lot of practice." Something comes over his eyes then, but I can't perceive the meaning before it disappears. We don't say anything for a moment, just watch each other from across the table. I wish, not for the first time, that he would just tell me what he wants from me and be done with it.

"Listen, I wanted—" The Eye of the Tiger burst from my phone speakers, cutting off whatever Grayson is about to say. The frustration is back in his eyes, and I shrug a bit in apology as I reach for my phone. 

"I'm sorry," I mumble, glancing at the screen. It's work. "I have to take this."

Aunt Evie's voice comes loud and clear through the earpiece. "I'm so glad I caught you. I was wondering if you can do me a favor." She doesn't wait for a reply, but continues on. "I have a shipment coming in this afternoon, but it's been busy here. Would you be a sweetie and come in a little bit early? Like now, for instance? You don’t have anything important going on today, right?"

I look over at Grayson. "Sure, no problem," I find myself saying.

"Great! See you soon." I turn back to Grayson, stilling myself against whatever he is going to say. For a heartbeat, he studies me intently and I wish I knew what he's thinking. 

"Clearly, you have other, more important places to be," he finally states when I open my mouth to speak. "You should probably get going. Don't want to keep your boss waiting." He grabs the menu from off the table and opens it without giving me another glance. I stare at the picture on the cover for a second before jumping to my feet. I take a few steps in the direction Dakota went, but then stop and turn back to Grayson.

"You don't have to say anything," he says, once again beating me to the punch. "I get it."

And I guess that's that. I don't turn around again as I make my way to where Dakota is hiding.

"I have to go," I say when I come up to the two leaning against the bar. They've been standing side by side, studying the menus in front of them without saying a word. I swear they need to stop being so stinking stubborn and realize there is a spark, so I can stop being their go between-er.

"What do you mean you have to go?" Dakota exclaims slapping her menu on the counter. "You can't!"

"I have to. Aunt Evie just called and she needs me at the store now." Dakota's face turns from confusion to pouting. She was really hoping for a better outcome from this little outing, but tough luck. I don't have the breath to tell her that it's pointless to hope for anything when it comes to Grayson. After today, he's probably done with me for good. I'm not making it easy for him and a boy is only going to be interested for so long.

"I'll take you," Chance says when Dakota doesn't say anything.

"No." She exclaims, pushing a hand between Chance and me. "My best friend, I'll drive her. You go have a jolly good time with your boy over there." She doesn't wait for a response, but loops her arm thru the crook of my own and leads me to the door. I throw Chance a little wave before she drags me away. Walking out of the restaurant, I can't help but take another look to where I left Grayson. Chance settles down in front of him and says something I can't hear. Grayson replies, smiling, but for some reason his smile doesn't seem to reach his eyes. He glances at me then and I see an emotion there I can’t quite identify, right before the door shuts between us.

"Of all the days to call you in early," Dakota mutters as we settle back into her Toyota, "I can't believe it has to be today. What are the chances? And I thought finally, we’d have some answers."

"Yeah, not gonna happen."

"Well excuse me in being interested in your love life. It's not like I have anyone else's to focus on. You're it."

"Thanks for making me sound like the last person on earth, but I don't have a love life."

"I think Grayson wants one."

"I don't know what Grayson wants, and neither do you. Stop making up stuff before the whole school believes you." She’s all kinds of proud, loving the fact that the whole school idolizes her gossip mills.

"It's not my fault I'm adored. But seriously, what were you two talking about? You looked so intense!"

"I thought you weren't paying attention to us," I ask, knowing full well she did just that. "And don't think I forgive you for just getting up and walking away."

"You so totally forgive me, but that's not really the point here," she announces, pulling out of the parking lot.

"What exactly is the point?"

"The point is that the hunk of Grayson gorgeousness was eating you up with his eyes, and I have to admit that makes me just a tiny bit jealous. I swear, every girl in that diner wanted to be in your place."

"Then let them!" I exclaim trying not to let the fact that he was watching me like that get to me. I refuse to feel anything for that boy. He’s too much of an uncertainty in my mind, too much of a possibility of someone who has the capacity of hurting me. "I'm not interested." I say, more to convince myself than Dakota. She, of course, sees right through it.

"Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that sweetie, we'll see how long you’ll last." I don't reply simply because I'm afraid she's right. Then, she continues, "And you're going to have to talk to him eventually. You can't keep running."

"I'm not running."

"Please, every time he's in the vicinity of you, you look like you're getting ready to run a marathon. I'm not excusing anything he did to you in the past. You know I'd go all kung fu on him in a second if he hurts you again, but you will have to talk to him eventually. For the sake of your best friend's sanity, please just have a normal human conversation with him." She takes her hands of the wheel to turn them to me in a begging gesture and I'm glad we're stopped at a light. She's not exactly the safest of drivers. I don't reply and she continues to pout, making little whiny noises. The light turns green, but she still doesn't move and I hear a honk come from behind us.

"Fine!" I say exasperated when it's evident she's not moving till I agree. "I'll talk to him."

"Sweet!" she squeals, pealing out through the intersection. "I'm so excited."

Not the words I would use.

TWELVE

I could be a morning person. If morning happened around noon. - Author Unknown

SEVENTH GRADE

My whole life came crashing down around me in seventh grade.

Until that horrendous day, I’d actually thought I would be okay. My home life started to resemble a battlefield when it came to my art. Dad frowned down upon my 'tendencies' because they weren't 'preparing me for the real world'. I was twelve years old and Dad was insisting I take extra math and science classes, instead of art. Paige tried her best to help me out, but she was getting ready for her senior year and was barely ever home.

On the other side of my home life was Grayson. Ever since third grade, he'd been a shadow of constant humiliation, which followed me, every day, down school hallways. For a year now, it hadn't been as much about humiliation as it was about making fun of everything I did. I had no idea why he had to constantly bug me the way he did, but I dealt with it. I'd learned to ignore his snippy remarks, if just to get through the day.

Dakota was an awesome support system. She stood up for me when I couldn't put two words together. Even Chance, one of Grayson's friends, was nice to me. I think he was as baffled as I was by Grayson's behavior and tried to make it up to me. Dakota didn't trust him, so he really had to work at it.

On that particular day, I dressed in one of my favorite autumn ensembles. My flowered top was one of the most beloved shirts I'd ever put together. It had an open collar, two small pockets in the front, and half-length sleeves. It flowed around my body when I walked, perfect for Arizona weather. I paired it up with my green pants and brown boots, adding a necklace Dakota and I made from crystal beads during out last sleepover. It was something simple, but beautiful and I felt pretty in my home made clothes. It didn't look much different from what you would buy in a store, but it was all mine and I loved it.

So did Dakota. She squealed over my simple yet elegant outfit, saying I looked 'all grown up'. I didn't see Grayson on our way to homeroom, like I usually did, and for a second I allowed myself to feel a bit sad. I loved looking my best in front of my enemy and today would've been a good day for that.

However, Grayson was at school. He was in my homeroom and my math class to follow. There were no remarks or laughter, but I could feel his eyes on me everywhere I went. Dakota commented on it when we headed to our lockers after second period to exchange books.

"What's with Grayson today?" she asked, then answered her own question before I could comment. "I think he has a thing for you and he finally realizes how awesome you are."

"Whatever," was the only thing I could say, trying not to picture what it would be like to be liked by someone like Grayson. Just because Dakota was the boy crazy one in our friendship, didn't mean I didn't notice when boys were cute. I just wasn't as vocal about it. Especially about someone like Grayson. He’d plagued me like the Black Death since we were seven.

"Whatever, you. I'm right. I know it." I didn't reply to that, because I knew it was no use. When Dakota made up her mind, there was no changing it.

Grayson continued to stare at me through the science class we shared, right before lunch. Every time I glanced up, he'd duck his head, his expression unreadable. But what did I really know as a twelve year old kid? I was beyond confused, but not as confused as when he came up to Dakota and me while we were heading to lunch.

"Hey Brooklynn, Dakota," he greeted us as if we'd been best friends forever. Dakota gave him the deadliest of stares but his eyes were fully on me. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

At first I thought he was talking to Dakota, so I glanced at her, but she just shook her head and took a step toward Grayson.

"I'll be over there and I'll be watching," she stated, before she left me with the boy who filled my life with constant teasing.

"What do you want?" I tried to muster up some of her courage, but all I ended up doing was clutching my sketchbook to my chest and trying not to shake.

"I was, umm, I was wondering—" he started, but wouldn't meet my eye. I couldn't imagine what he may be trying to ask me. It wasn't like I could help him with his math homework. He was an A student, just like me.