Far-out Show (9781465735829) (34 page)

The audio and video degraded to noise, but
then it all stopped abruptly and the screen goes blank.

Delmus paced anxiously. Ackack sat at the
console and pushed buttons and keyed in commands in an almost
frantic way, his feet flapping as fast as his hands moved. He said,
“There's no current signal from them. Our secret frequency... No
signal there either. Maybe there’s something's being routed
through... No, nothing there. We've lost them.”

Delmus was livid. “
Fingle fangle
on
the inhabitants! May they
yawdle
in their own
primsy
!”

“Delmus! Such language. I'm shocked.”

“Some situations call for strong words.”

A large amount of text scrolled continuously
down a screen in front of Ackack. “The techs have detected other
signals from them. Something shifted these so they were being
ignored. They were badly degraded so they needed a lot of cleaning
up but the techs have done that. The reports say that the earth
inhabitants are sending their own zerpy-type thing that they call a
satellite to orbit their moon - which is where
Whizybeam
is
staying out of sight. This happening exactly when our ship isn’t
working right makes it very likely that
Whizybeam
will be
detected. We're about to find out if the earth inhabitants can
capture or destroy a ship in space - except that we won't know
because that ship was our only link to what's happening there.”

“I'll have the lawyers prepare our defenses,”
Delmus said. “We didn't guarantee the governors this planet could
be taken over without much of a fight, we only said that as far as
anyone on Ormelex could tell it seemed likely.”

“I can't stop thinking about how huge an
audience we'd draw if we could show all of this actually happening.
We sent that ship off equipped to record everything we thought
could possibly happen but a lot of it isn’t working and we won't
even be able to inspect the damaged hardware to find out what to do
better next time.”

“Good point. We need to emphasize to the
governors that things didn't turn out as expected on this planet
but that doesn't mean they should stop paying us to find excuses to
send explorers to other planets.”

“Right. Keep them on the hook,” Ackack
agreed. “But first we need answers from a certain agent of
sneakery. We hired him because we knew he was devious but was he
devious with us while he helped us be devious with those on the
ship?”

* * *

Outside, the building in the out-of-the-way
location was small and non-descript. Inside, the interview room was
empty except for three not especially plush or comfortable chairs.
The walls were solid, solid colored, and adorned only with a
recurring pattern of squiggles to provide a small relief from the
monotony. One door, no windows, no zerpies in sight.

When Delmus and Ackack entered Foxpat, a male
of enough years to qualify as looking like an old hand at things,
sat in one chair with his hands folded in his lap. He had shiny
black feet and head spikes of four different lengths that got
shorter as they approached the midline of the top of his head and
all curved a bit toward that landmark, giving him the appearance of
a tidy helmet of head covering. He smiled easily, although not with
particular warmth. He was relaxed and sure of himself.

He motioned for the others to have a seat,
saying, “You have demands to make of me so we won’t waste time on
social customs intended to get everyone ready to talk. What do you
want to know?”

“What did you put onboard
Whizybeam
?”
Ackack asked.

“What you paid me to put aboard without
anyone else knowing. A device programmed to meet your
specifications that you chose to refer to as Minx so any reference
to it wouldn’t give away that it is in factness a zerpy. One that
stays dormant and undetected until you activate it with a code
message. Then it can monitor many of the ship’s communication and
operating systems and send those results to you, coded so only you
should be able to read them,” Foxpat said.

“Did you also put a secret zerpy on there for
someone else?” Delmus asked.

“Not that I’m free to talk about. Please
note, that is exactly what I’d tell almost anyone if they asked
about your device.”

“Almost anyone?” Ackack asked.

“It’s never good sense, much less good
business, to lie to the governors,” Foxpat replied evenly.

“How many secret zerpies did you put aboard?”
Delmus asked.

“One and only one,” Foxpat answered.

“So we have total and exclusive control of
that zerpy, right?” Ackack said.

“Not quite,” Foxpat said. “There’s more than
one channel that can, within limits, receive and respond to some
commands. Each of the channels, however, sends its feedback
exclusively to one address here on the planet. There’s very little
chance of any leakage between channels.”

“How many channels?” Delmus asked.

“More than one. Since your feedback can’t
reach anyone else there’s no reason for you to know if, how many,
or who any others who bought in might be.”

“This is outrageous. We
dergigged
on
an agreement with you,” Ackack shouted. “We didn’t say yes to being
part of a shared facility.”

“Our agreement didn’t contain any
specifications about that. If it had I wouldn’t have
dergigged
on it,” Foxpat said. “You got what you paid for, a
way that only you control to snoop and maybe even take some control
of the far away ship.”

“I’m shocked that you would violate our
trust,” Delmus said in a tone that made it hard to tell if he was
sincere.

“You should be thanking me for cutting
corners. We all know you gloated about the good price you thought
you bargained me down to,” Foxpat said. “I could have demanded
several times that and after you’d hemmed and whined for a while
you’d have paid that. Building the device with split controls saved
me a lot of time and made it easier to get it on there without it
being noticed so I passed on the savings. I didn’t do wrong on
this.”

“No, we won’t let you get away with this,”
Ackack shouted, jumping up and stomping around. “There are rules in
business and ways to make the violators sorry.”

“Okay, get the law on me. Claim I violated
the terms of some contract I made with you. Oh wait, at your
insistence there’s no legally binding written contract because this
was all secret and sneaky-sneaky. Oh wait, that means it would
still cause you lots of trouble with the governors if word got out
about it. Here’s the thing, guys, I’m ready and willing to go right
now and put the matter before them and accept their judgment. Or
here’s a very generous alternative offer. Since you’re not
satisfied with what I provided for you, I’ll return your money. No
interest, but the full amount you paid me.”

That had the other two weighing their
options.

“But when I do that I immediately disconnect
you so you no longer get any signals from or control anything by
way of your little Minx. And when and if there are official
questions I’ll still name you as the ones who paid to have the
system built and secretly installed. You don’t get to walk away
from the responsibility, only from the payoff. What’s your
decision?”

Ackack stopped by Foxpat, leaned close and
said in a threatening tone, “Maybe you’ll have a terrible accident
here and now and won’t be able to change anything. Maybe there
won’t even be enough of you left to make anyone even think to
investigate. You suggested this place to meet because it’s designed
for unofficial, off all records meetings. No one knows we came here
and I’m betting no one knows you did either.”

Delmus got into the spirit of it saying,
“With no record of what was said or done clever guys - that would
be us - can create a record at our convenience to deal with any
loose ends. If we have no further use for you why would we let you
stay around and threaten our plans?”

Foxpat suddenly held up the mini-zerpy he had
been holding cupped in his hand this entire time. Ackack squealed
in pain as he staggered back several steps. Delmus started to get
up but then decided he was better off in the chair.

“Have you two seen the latest in mini-zerpies
like this one?” Foxpat asked. “These devices keep getting smaller
and more useful. This model is even a potent weapon if needed.”

He pointed the top of it toward the chair
Ackack had been using – and that fell apart into a pile of dust.
Then he left the device hovering as he scratched his nose. He said,
“Don’t threaten me unless you mean it and are ready to die as a
result. And of course this amazing helper has recorded every word
we’ve all said here. I assume you’re recording this too and that’s
okay. Complaints meetings are prime sources of misquotes so it’s
prudent for both sides to have an accurate record of what was and
wasn’t said and done.”

“Sproingy, how I wish I had you now,” Ackack
whispered.

“What?” Foxpat asked without showing special
interest.

“Nothing. Just mumbling,” Ackack insisted.
“Uh, I was saying to myself that obviously my partner and I overdid
our acting. This was all a joke but you took us seriously. We’re
not threatening anybody. If you thinking that you’ve made a silly
mistake.”

“Yeah. All a mistake. Uh, but back to the
secret zerpy. Does the other group know we’re also getting info
from the same hardware as them?” Delmus asked.

“You have to ask them what they know. I sell
hardware and software, not raw information,” Foxpat said. “I don’t
rule it out or give false assurances. My job doesn’t include
telling what anyone else knows, suspects, asked for, or did. It’s
awkward that you two have to guess who any others might be and that
if you’re wrong and say something to them you’ll start them asking
questions, and if they lie about the matter you won’t know that so
you can’t get far on that question but
sib sog
.”

The others glared angrily at him.

Foxpat said quietly, “Be assured that if I
disappear or die by any cause whatsoever a whole lot of information
goes to the governors. Oh wait, and also to the public who love to
hate you guys. It’s in your best interest that I live long and
happy.”

“Have you no sense of loyalty?” Delmus
asked.

Fox laughed heartily.

“Are there no innocents left among us?”
Delmus continued.

“Supposedly your contestant is one,” Foxpat
said.

“Supposedly? What do you know?” Delmus
asked.

“Nothing except how to read the signs – and
not to tell too much of what I interpret the signs to mean,” Foxpat
replied.

“Give us an example of how clever you are at
reading guys,” Ackack challenged him.

“Since this’ll be fun, I’ll oblige you,”
Foxpat said. “The signals are that either of you would sacrifice
the other for some personal advantage with hardly a thought. It
wouldn’t even have to be a very big advantage.”

Ackack forced a laugh that rang hollow but it
was all he could produce. “How wrong you are. We’re tight-knit
partners. We stick together. We trust and respect one another.”

“Yeah. Wherever you got that dumb idea, throw
it back. You’re way off the mark,” Delmus said weakly.

Foxpat laughed heartily. “Be prudent and
don’t challenge me or anyone who has had dealings with you to
produce recorded evidence of each of you back-stabbing the other
when he wasn’t around. Hey, maybe you could air a show where a
series of guys present their recordings showing what you each said
and then the one who said it can try to explain it away while the
one it was said about pretends not to care.”

“It’s clear that you don’t know much about us
at all. Anything like what you’re talking about was obviously said
as a joke and you didn’t get that one either. How dumb can you be?”
Ackack said.

“Yeah, we joke all the time. Solid partners
do that. It doesn’t for really true mean anything. Just mouthing
off when he messes things up,” Delmus said. Quickly he became
cunning and asked, “If you’re so smart and know everything, what’s
the special device that the governors’ rep Parbam is
flaunting?”

“I don’t know and I almost certainly won’t
tell you when and if I find out about it,” Foxpat said.

“You probably don’t know what technology the
Power Players are interested in as the moneymakers of the future
either,” Ackack said in a taunting tone.

“That I might know but that I definitely
won’t tell you about. They pay better than you do.”

“Aha, so they are the others who control part
of our zerpy,” Ackack shouted.

“Believe what you want. They pay me well not
to tell anyone else their business and I’m betting they’ll be
around as customers after your company’s only a vague memory. Oh
wait, it’s not your zerpy, you only rent the use of part of
it.”

“Okay, let’s talk business. What will it cost
us to find out what any other renters are learning with the secret
zerpy and what they try to do if they try to change ship’s
systems?” Delmus asked.

“That information isn’t available for any
price.”

“Why not?” Delmus asked.

“Call it loyalty, or innocence, or good
business sense,” Foxpat said. “I don’t tell anyone else about you
and I don’t tell you about anyone else. It’s the best way for the
guy in the middle to play it. Put yourself in my footprints. Why
keep one paying client completely happy when you can get paid by
more than one to keep them all reasonably happy even if not
completely so?”

* * *

Outside a few minutes later Delmus said,
“That was instructive but not satisfying. I can’t even convince
myself that it went well.”

“We understand our situation better even if
it didn’t get any less complicated. We need to catch up on what the
new mini-zerpies can do. We should be using cutting edge
devices.”