Fighting to Stay (Fighting Madly Book 2) (19 page)

Reed closes the short distance and his lips descend on mine once more and the deeper he pushes against me, the lights, the audience, everything fades away until the whoops and clapping break out and remind me that we aren’t in our own bubble.

I bury my head in the crook of his neck, my breath rushing out when Reed’s voice booms that the show’s over. But his whole body shakes against mine as he tries to hold in his laughter.

The sounds dim as people scatter. I bring my face out, my stomach’s a mess from the rush, and my pulse beats rapidly. “Holy shit, Reed! We’re really getting married?”

“Hell, yes. I’m not playing around this time. I bought the damn ring when you moved in five months ago, just waited for the right time to do it.”

“And this was the right time?”

“Fuck, yes, babe.”

And it is. I didn’t need the romance, I don’t need candles lit or rose petals lining our bed. I don’t
need
anyone or anything anymore. I just want Reed and I got him in my life, in my house, and most importantly—in my heart. Now it’s really for better or worse. Till death do us part. God knows we had our share of the worse, now it’s time for our better.

Maybe even our best.

The steam from my tea blows in the outside air as I wait for my new fiancé to get home so we can celebrate the proper way. Or so he says.

With each sip as I raise the cup, the sun reflects off the dozens of diamonds on my ring. I’m getting married, we’re getting married. I have a strange compulsion to pinch myself, because all this craziness is too good to be true yet I’m too afraid it would wake me up.

It’s happening.

Loki drops his dingy old tennis ball in my lap and sits, placing a paw on my leg distracting me from white dresses, flower arrangements, and locations. I chuck the ball, but it no longer holds Loki’s attention and he forgets all about it when he sees Reed at the sliding glass door.

He strides out, looking mouthwatering hot, and the butterflies in my stomach wake up. He should be the damn model for his own line. It would save us a ton of money because he certainly puts the models I hire to shame. Reed stands right in front of me, his own tight t-shirt showing off all those tattoos on his arms. He has on black basketball shorts, and if he turned around his butt would be perfect. And now his own brand snapback hat placed on that head of his.

“You like what you see, babe?”

I bite my lip to keep the corner of my mouth from rising. “Why would you say that?”

“You’re eyeing me like I’m something from Waffle House.”

“Can’t fight you on that,” I smirk.

Reed leans down, his lips inches from mine. “Well, as much as I would like to take you here and now, we got to get going.” I cross over the space and seal his lips on mine, only for him to break it before it goes further. “We got shit to do.”

“You going to tell me where we’re going?”

“That would lose the surprise aspect out of it.”

“Didn’t I just get surprised?” I hold up my hand and point to my finger, a smile still planted on my face.

He grips my left hand, pulls it to his mouth, and places a kiss where my finger and the ring meet. “That you did, Hads, but just because you got my ring on your finger doesn’t mean the surprises for you stop. And it’s going to happen again and again. Get used to it—only you will never know when I’ll blow your mind, so look over that sexy shoulder of yours all the time. Now move your sweet ass and let’s get this show on the road.”

The sun set hours ago as we drove farther away from the city, seemingly with no destination. Reed never seemed in a hurry, yet with each turn he navigates, he knows just where he wants to go.

The trees split on the left as Reed slows the car down.

“Why are we pulling into this dirt road? You’re going to go ahead with one of your kidnap ideas, aren’t you?” I poke his hard stomach but it’s tense like the rest of his body. He never glances at me while maneuvering the car over the bumps.

“Nah, this isn’t kidnapping. Figured we could mark one of the to-do items off my list and have sex on a tractor.” His mouth twitches but his attention remains on the road ahead.

“Only you would come up with that.”

Reed drums his fingers on the steering wheel and sighs heavily. “I was thinking.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Really, babe?” Reed rests his right hand over his chest, mocking me. “No, so what I was thinking…maybe we should get you checked out sooner rather than later…you know, about the baby stuff.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“What? You don’t want to see what they say?” This time he turns to me and studies my face.

“No, it’s not that. I don’t…I’m kinda scared about what they will say or find.”

“You’ll never know what they say unless you go. And I knew you would be too chicken shit, so you have an appointment for tomorrow.”

“You what?” I grip the armrest and a sudden breeze of coldness hits me.

“I can cancel it but I knew you wouldn’t do it on your own, so I did it for you with the best doctor there is.”

“You should have talked to me. It’s a huge decision to make, Reed, one we should discuss. Together. Not just you.”

“And like I said, you can cancel it, but you’re not the only one who needs those answers.” A sadness creeps over him. The same expression always clouds his face when we mention the topic of children. I’m not sure if it’s just our baby he morns, or both. But he still mourns.

After the truth was out, after a couple of sessions together with Graham, we realized that Krystal and his life with her was in the past, and we couldn’t bring it with us into our future. With Bennett dead from a fight in jail, and Krystal locked away for more charges they’d discovered, it’s over and done.

One last conversation had Reed admitting he felt guilty about not being more upset about the loss of their baby, and even more guilt over the sadness our baby gave him. We were done. Even with the scars and demons they produced. As people, and with the problems glued to them, they are in the past because our destination in life has no place for the toxic things they bring.

I turn my head to the side, staring out the window, and my stomach seems fuzzy and my heart sore, but I can’t seem to be upset with him. “Can I think about it?” My lower lip trembles only from the thought of finding out, the only answer that still sticks.

He links his fingers through mine. “Of course, babe. I didn’t want to spring the shit on you, but this guy knows his shit, and it was one of those that if you don’t get in now, you won’t for years. But whatever you decide, either way, we will have our family. Blood or not. You got that, right?” He twists my ring around. “This ring here means we’re already married in my fucking heart, so any shit that comes our way, we’ll work it out.”

The car lights illuminate the darkness, and what I see pulls my breath from me. “This view is gosh…beautiful.” The words are lost in the air as I step out of the car and walk into the clearing. All around are trees of all different kinds, maple, pine, and oak and all trail down to a body of water off in the distance. “What lake is that?”

“No clue. It’s runoff from the river. I was told you can boat on it, though. Now get your ass out of this car. I want to show you something.”

Eric Church’s “Like a Wrecking Ball” fills the silent night. I pause, the breath inside me hitches and my curiosity peaks. Reed has an extreme hatred for anything country. Never once has he chosen to play it instead of his type, and if he gets in my car and a country station’s on, nothing but bitching follows until it’s changed.

His footsteps crunch against the gravel rocks as he edges closer to me. All my senses are on overload as Reed wraps his arm around my waist, turning me to face him. My lips part slightly, about to question him, but Reed gathers me into his arms and shifts his feet.

Reed’s dancing with me.

He breathes heavily on my neck and his deep hums send chills down my body. We sway to the whole song. The lyrics fit Reed like a glove. I’m lost in this moment. With every movement, his body glides with mine, giving me the need to hold on to him tighter. This is the spell he works on me. Reed says I’m his juju, but we’re each other’s. In this instant, this precious second that he’s given me, he’s done it
for
me, and it makes my heart grow, my love deepen.

The song trails off, blending into Brantley Gilbert’s “Fall Into Me.” He pauses and trails his hands up my body. The aftershock from his touch sends my heart flipping. He swipes my hair over my shoulder and places his hands against my neck.

Reed beams at me, the desire between us traveling through each cell of my body. “Hads…” Reed swallows hard and clears his throat. I would laugh any other time, but he’s nervous, and it’s happened twice in the same day. That has never happened before, but he’s too cute to laugh in his face.

“Shit these words are fucking stuck in my throat.” His lips meet mine for a small peck. “When I told you that god-awful night I left that I loved you fucking madly, I didn’t know the fucking gravity of it. Only what I felt made me mad, but now I do. I know what it means whole fucking heartily. With everything in me, with each time I turn over in the night and you are right next to me, each touch, laugh, every fucking moment you gift me with, and those looks you give me that make me feel like I should have a pussy, because it knocks me to my knees. It’s a fucking true, pure love. Those belts, my money, they mean nothing without you. Hands down.

“You’re the one thing I will always need, the one thing I will always want, the one thing I will never stop craving. When all the world turns to shit, it’s
you
who grounds me, it’s
you
who keeps me steady. It’s
you
who pushes me, it’s
you
,
Hads that saw something in me when I thought I was only shit. All the highs and lows, all the pushes and pulls we had along the way, we came out ahead, proving we still fucking love each other.”

There is nothing I can say. He’s doing it all himself. He’s laying his heart out tonight.

Reed drops down on one knee, opening a black box. “Now, this is for you. This one is all yours, babe. Will you do me the fucking honor and marry me?”

Tears gather in my eyes. My mouth hangs wide open as the words he’s never spoken before still play in my head. “That was a question.”

The lump in my throat balls up, causing my words to become a jumbled mess.

“It was. You love both sides of me, and you’ve never fucking asked me to change. So you get it asked both ways—you deserve it.”

The tears fall. My hand trembles as I cradle his rough cheek in my palm. “Yes. Reed Collins, it will be my pleasure.” My voice is so soft. I’m lost in what he just gave me. What he did for me, the romance factor of a proposal, which I didn’t know I wanted, until he did it.

His tense shoulders fall and he lets out his breath. He slides the ring on my finger, placing it over the one from earlier. My gaze falls from his, my eyes glued down to my finger. My breath hitches and my free hand covers my gaping mouth as a sob erupts from my throat. This is beyond anything I could have dreamed of. “Oh, God... It’s…Reed.”

The light dances off the huge circle diamond, and numerous tiny, blue sapphires surround it on a white gold band. It meshes seamlessly with the diamond band he put there just hours ago, giving the illusion it’s one ring. Separate, they hold their own, but together, they click.