Finding Us (3 page)

I laughed
again at that, and it felt good since I hadn’t been in the best mood the past fifteen hours or so. “Yeah, sounds like you were one slick guy, Bax.”

He
laughed too. “Yep. That was me. So fucking cool, I was. Anyway, I got her schedule from the girl I was friends with, so when Amanda showed up the next time at the club, there I was, acting like I’d been going there every day of my life and ignoring her like the suave guy that I was.” He rolled his eyes then took a swig of beer before continuing. “This went on for about two weeks, me ignoring her, all into the kids and shit, hoping I was making an impression on her. But you know what? I actually got into those kids. They were amazing. Fucking smart, funny. I think they actually made me decide I wanted a big family.” He shrugged.

“So
around the third week of this, we’re all outside on the playground, Amanda’s playing jump rope with the girls, and I’m batting balls so the boys can field them, and it’s spring time, right? And spring in Oklahoma is not a fun time weather-wise. So we’re all playing when the tornado sirens started going off.

“
I grew up in Oklahoma, so to me, it wasn’t a big deal. I’m standing there checking out the clouds wondering if it’s anything serious because that shit happens all the time, but then I noticed Amanda was freaking out, no clue what to do. She’s from Seattle and they don’t get that shit, so I went over to her, grabbed her by the hand then herded her and all the kids down into the basement of the club, which wasn’t very big and served my purposes perfectly because we were kinda packed in there. She was so scared, she let me hold her in my arms until we heard it was safe to go back out. I’m telling you, Jag, this is gonna sound like the corniest bullshit you’ve ever heard and you’ll probably laugh, but that was the best fucking ten minutes of my goddamned life right there.”

I didn’t laugh. I totally understood where he was coming from. I’
d felt the same way when El got into my Camaro that day in high school, like I’d won the lottery or something.

“
Anyway, afterward, she thanked me, I, of course, asked her out, she ended up dumping the dweeb, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded in understanding, but then frowned because he hadn’t mentioned his cheating.

He caught it. “Yeah. About that. So our first year of marriage was great. She was a senior, finishing up her degree and I’d been drafted by the Cardinals after my junior year. So I’m playing in the minors in Memphis, and she’s coming out as often as she can to visit, semester and spring breaks, you know? I finally got called up to the Bigs just as she graduated, so we’re all squared away, or at least I thought we were. She’s gonna teach first grade in St. Louis, I’m gonna play ball and we’re all set. But then she gets cold feet all of a sudden and doesn’t want to move there with me and flies home to Seattle. I’m freaking out because I don’t know what the fuck’s going on. She won’t talk to me when I call. Her dad’s pissed because he thinks I did something, and my folks are calling me screaming at me wanting to know what I did to her. So I finally get her on the phone one night and she tells me she doesn’t know if she wants to be married anymore, that she doesn’t know if she can handle me being gone to games all the time. Broke my fucking heart. God, I was so confused. I’m on the phone with her crying, she’s crying, I’ve got a goddamned game that night and flying out to another the next night, and nothing’s getting resolved.”

Damn. I was starting to feel as if my problem
s paled in comparison to his. Jesus.

“So the team flies to Houston the next day for a three-game stint. The second night there, the guys and I decide to go down to the hotel bar, and there’s this gal there looking all forlorn, so I
go over to her and start chatting her up. Come to find out, she’d just gotten a divorce, was visiting friends in Houston but staying at the hotel, and was lonely. So next thing I know, we’re in her room making out like crazy and I end up sleeping with her. God, I felt like total shit for cheating on Amanda.” He stopped and rubbed a hand over his face, the memory making him once again disgusted with himself, I could tell. After taking a drink from his bottle, he said, “So I get back to my room later that night. My phone rings at the crack of dawn the next morning and it’s Amanda. I’m sure she’s gonna tell me we’re over and she wants a divorce, so I’m bracing myself for it, when she tells me she’s pregnant.”

“Fuck,” I mumbled.

“Yeah. Fuck is right. So now I’m feeling even shittier about everything, so fucking pissed at myself for being the bastard that I am, and I couldn’t go one minute more without telling her what I’d done.”

“Fuck,” I mumbled again.

He grinned. “You ain’t shittin’. I was sure she’d divorce my sorry ass right then and there. Again we found ourselves crying on the phone together. She was so torn up over it, I just knew she was gonna leave me for good. When I got back from Houston, I had a couple days off, so I flew out to Seattle to see her. Swear to God, when I knocked on the door and her dad answered, no fucking shit, he stepped out on the porch and knocked my ass into fucking Idaho. On a side note, she’d forgotten to inform me that her dad boxed when he was in college. Anyway, he was beating the hell out of me. And, I mean, I couldn’t swing back. I deserved everything he was doing to me and more. Then Amanda came running out screaming at him to stop, runs to where I’m fucking lying on their front porch and kneels down, cradling my head in her lap, looking at the black eye I was already getting, my mouth all bloody, and she’s yelling at him asking him if he’s fucking crazy. I don’t think I ever loved her more than at that moment. So long story short, it took us some time, but we got it together, and we’ve been going strong for ten years now.”

“Damn. And she just forgave you?”

“Oh, hell no. She stayed in Seattle until Josh was born. I spent my time flying back and forth from St. Louis or wherever in the hell we were playing that entire time. But let me tell you, it was worth it. Sometimes I find myself just sitting and watching them all like it’s a dream I’m gonna wake up from. Never thought I could have so much good in my life, but I’ve been blessed, kid.”

“So you flew back and forth to spend time with her. That was all it took?” I know I sounded like a broken record, but I needed to know how to fix things with El, and Bax sounded like he had a pretty good bead on how to go about doing that.

“Fuck no. I sent so many flowers, think I made Versailles look like a shithole. I also bought her diamonds like they were going out of style. I wanted my girl dripping in them not only because I wanted to show her how sorry I was, but because she deserved them. I called her every day. And I didn’t do all of that because I’d fucked up. I mean, yeah, you’d think that was the reason. But I did it because she was so damned worth it and it took my screw-up to realize it. Now, not a day goes by that I don’t tell her I love her or call to let her know I’m thinking of her.”

He finished his beer and pulled out his wallet. “You do that, let her know she’s important to you, and you might find a way to work it out. And, again, it’s not the things that are gonna do it. It’s how you make her feel that’ll convince her, got it?”

I nodded. I got it. “Thanks, Bax. I appreciate it. Really. This day’s been total shit, but I feel a lot better now.”

We stood as he threw a hundred-dollar bill on the table then clapped me on the shoulder. “Good deal, kid. She means something to you, don’t let her go. I know I’d be kicking myself
right now if I’d let that happen. Sift out all the bullshit and make sure you’re left with what matters most. You see what you’re left with doesn’t make a fuckova lot of difference, better reevaluate things and get your shit lined up. I’m telling you, kid, you get one shot at this. You don’t have good, you don’t have a damned thing.”

We walked out of Zeb’s and I felt like a changed man. I’d decided El was my good, and I wanted good in my life, and I was
going to get it back.

Chapter 3

The next week
I came up with a plan.
I knew the second commercial was getting ready to air the next week, and it was just as racy as the first, and I knew it’d just upset El even more, so I called Ross to ask for some help in assuaging her anger toward me. She still wasn’t answering her phone when I called, so I had to call in the big guns.

“Hey, man,
how are you? I’m really sorry about what’s happened,” he said upon answering.

I sighed. “Yeah, me too. Shit just went fucking south and I don’t even know how it happened. Telling you, with everything we had going on, I guess it’s a miracle she didn’t leave sooner.”

“Well, you’re just a, and I quote, ‘Motherfucking asshole prick,’ you know,” he said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sure I’ve been called a lot of other things too by now.”

He laughed. “I can honestly say I’ve learned a lot of different bad words over the past week.”

Great. I’m sure he had. “Yeah, I know. And I deserve all of them.”

“Even ‘cocksucking bastard bitch-faced son of a monkey’s ass’?” He cracked up then.

“
Yeah, hilarious, even that one. Look, I’ve got a favor to ask,” I said, not at all impressed with what my girl and her best friend were calling me even though I knew I’d earned their wrath.

“You got it,” he answered.

“Well, I was gonna ask how she’s taking it all, but I see from the name calling, not too well. So now I need to know what her schedule is.”

“Gotta tell you, she’s pretty torn up, Jag. She moved back in the apartment and cried, like, the first three days straight. I didn’t see Rebecca that entire tim
e except to deliver at least five gallons of ice cream and several bottles of scotch to them. Rebecca took off from work and school to be with her. But I guess Ellen’s getting better because Rebecca called today and said she’d applied again at Starbucks.”

“Christ. I’m telling you, it wasn’t all my fault.” That was a lie, but I was pissed now.
“And is that Slade idiot still working there?”

“I know. Hey,
I’m not saying I agree with it. Uh, yeah, I think he does.”

Damn. The shit just kept
piling up.

“
But can I ask you something?” Ross continued. “How was it working with Alessandra? Chick’s fucking hotter than hell, Jag. Can’t tell me you didn’t pop a boner when you were rolling around with her in that bed.”

I took a deep breath. Jesus. Even my best friend was buying into all the bullshit.

“No, I didn’t pop a fucking boner. I’m telling you, man, she’s a bitch, plain and simple. Might be nice to look at, but when she opens that mouth of hers, that shit all disappears.”

“Still. It’s
Alessandra
, Jag. C’mon. You can be honest with me. I heard some of what El was telling Bec. You nailed her, didn’t you?”

“Goddamn it, Ross! I didn’t sleep with her! I didn’t even kiss her. God. I’m so sick and fucking tired of this. It was a commercial and that’s it. God. Bad enough El didn’t believe that nothing went on and now you’re just adding fuel to the fire.”

“Sorry, bro. But you
have
seen that body, right? I mean, shit, you were in
bed
with her! And practically
naked
!”

“Fucking Christ. Really? Guess I’m gonna have to call Callihan.” I started to hang up.

“No, no, sorry. I can help. What do you need?”

I explained to him what I needed and asked him to call me when it all went down to which he agreed. We hung up
and I made some phone calls to get things rolling.

“Dude, I don’t think it’s working.”
Ross called the next week to tell me things weren’t going too well. “I let the florist in yesterday morning. Just gotta ask, what the fuck?”

Shit. I was trying to follow what Baxter had told me he’d done with his wife and I guessed it was backfiring.

“Why do you say it’s not working?” I asked.

“Let’s just say that an entire hour of
Breaking Bad
was ruined because the garbage disposal ran the entire time I was trying to watch. You know how loud thirty
thousand
irises being shoved down the kitchen sink is?”

Just
great. El’s favorite flower was the iris, so I’d had twenty bouquets sent to the apartment and had asked Ross to meet the florist there so he could put them inside.

“She put all of them down the disposal?” I asked, frowning.

“Yeah. Every last one. Wait, I take that back. She did keep about ten to beat me over the head with when I came in last night for helping you out. So, yeah, all but ten of them went down the drain.”

I sighed and
wished for the first time in my entire life that the season would be over. I needed to go to Chicago and fix things myself. “I don’t know what to do, Ross.”

“It were me? I’d get my ass
here
and haul her ass right back
there
.”

I
couldn’t help but laugh at that. “You
are
still dating Rebecca, right? Yeah. I can so see that happening without incident.”

“You do have a point.
” He chuckled. “But I don’t know, man. El’s not doing too well. Cries a lot. Still losing weight. Oh, but she did enroll in classes yesterday and started back today. Had to have a meeting with the department head then get her credits transferred, so she’s good to go.”

“Damn
it. I was hoping she’d come back to finish. I mean, I know she probably wouldn’t want to stay with me, but I thought maybe she’d find a place to stay here then she’d at least be close so I could talk some sense into her.”

She’d gone back to school there.
That was huge. Shit.

Okay, so she wasn’t coming back. I could handle this. Baxter had handled it and look what it’d gotten him. I just needed to adjust now.
We had to win two more games in our division to make the playoffs, but if we didn’t, the season would be finished which would give me a lot more free time than I’d had in months to get her back.

“Can you do me another favor?” I asked him.

“Sure. Hey, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get you guys back together. Tired of Bec transferring this shit onto me and being mad at me only because I’m a guy. By the way, thanks a lot for that, man.”

“Sorry. Guess it’s a girl thing, huh?”

“Yeah, guess so. But I’m warning you. This keeps me from getting laid any more than it is now and the shit’s gonna hit the fan. Oh, need to warn you about something else. She got rehired at Starbucks and that Slade guy’s been back at it with her again. She actually came home the other night smiling.”

I’ve heard people use the phrase before about something making
their blood boil, and I’m telling you, it actually friggin’ does boil, or at least it feels that way. Hearing about this newest development, I felt my entire body get hot and I seriously thought my skull was going to blow right off the top of my head, plastering itself to the ceiling.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Ross agreed.

“Another favor. Keep
an eye on them, okay? I know I’m asking for a lot of favors, but I’d do it for you, man.”

“I know you would. But when I see you next, remember you owe me big time, asshole.” He laughed.

“Yeah, I know. Whatever you want. But I do need one more thing.”

He sighed dramatically before
I told him what I wanted him to do and gave him the necessary information, hoping this deed would get me the results I was wanting. All I could do was cross my fingers and wait.