Flawfully Wedded Wives (2 page)

“Simon is not a
thing,
Lawson!” blurted out Reginell. “He's Garrett's son and your stepson—”

Lawson held up her hands to cut her sister off. “Simon belongs to Garrett and that tramp Simone. He has nothing to do with me.”

Sullivan sat down next to Angel on the sofa. “And it's
that
attitude and your refusal to accept his son that are going to drive your husband away and right back into Simone's waiting arms. Is that what you want?”

“None of this has been what I wanted. My marriage would be fine—
perfect
—if it weren't for that woman and her child,” griped Lawson, balling her fists in frustration.

Sullivan shook her head and glanced over at Charity. “No marriage is perfect, honey, believe me!”

Reginell wrapped her arm around her sister. “Garrett and Simon are a packaged deal, like you and Namon were when you met him, and you need to find a way to make peace and deal with it.”

“The difference is that Garrett went into it knowing I had a child.”

“But you agreed to stay married and work things out, knowing that Garrett had a child on the way.” Angel sipped her tea. “Lawson, that kid isn't going anywhere, and your husband loves him. Don't force Garrett to choose between the two of you. You'll lose every time.”

Reginell spoke up. “Plus, it's not fair. He's never made you choose between him and Namon, not even when Mark got in the picture.”

“Again, the circumstances are different.” Lawson sat down across from Sullivan and Angel. “I had Namon when I was sixteen. I didn't even know Garrett existed. My husband got this chick pregnant less than a year after we were married! There's no comparing the two situations.”

“Maybe not, but you're going to lose your husband if you can't find it in your heart to love and accept his son,” warned Reginell.

Angel checked the time. “Ohhh, it's almost seven o'clock!”

Sullivan rolled her eyes. “And?”

Lawson stood up to turn on the television. “Sully, don't act like that.
Lose Big
is about to start. It's down to the final two episodes, and Kina is one of the top three finalists.”

“Personally, I can't wait to watch every episode,” disclosed Angel, sliding in next to Lawson. “I've been very proud of Kina and how she's represented herself.”

Sullivan frowned. “Why? I can't stand the way she tries to market herself as this devout Christian whenever she spies a camera nearby.”

“Kina
is
a Christian, Sully, and she's not ashamed to let the world know it. I say amen to that.” Lawson raised her teacup.

The television screen flashed a montage of the contestants during their weekly workout routines as a voice-over narrated.

Angel pointed at the television. “Look at Kina kickin' butt and taking names on all those obstacle courses. She's been puttin' those young chubsters to shame!”

Reginell agreed. “I know, right? Who knew she was so athletic?”

“She's always had it in her,” replied Lawson. “In high school Kina was a cheerleader and on the track team. She didn't start to lose herself until she got mixed up with E'Bell.”

Angel beamed. “Well, she's definitely finding Kina now!”

As Kina completed the course, she lifted her hands and head toward heaven, silently praising God.

Sullivan smirked. “I wonder how eager she'd be to let the world know about her non-Christian activities, like trying to seduce my husband, or her lesbian lover, Joan.”

“She'd be as eager for the world to know about her past as you are for the world to know that you jumped back in the sack with Vaughn and nine months later out popped that little girl over there!” Angel remarked.

Sullivan sulked in silence.

“Do you see how great she looks?” added Reginell, noting that Kina's once round body had been sculpted into a new, svelte figure. Silky weave now flowed down her back replacing the short, stubby hair that refused to grow.

Angel turned up the volume on the television. “Look, Kina's talking!”

“Yesterday was very grueling for me,” recalled Kina during the video-diary session of the show. “The rain was pouring down, and we were all so tired and still had half a mile to run in all that rain and mud. Just when I was at my wit's end and about to give up, I looked up at the sky. I remembered that God promises that rain doesn't come down and go back up until it's done everything it's supposed to, just like His Word. It was all I needed to get my second wind and go on to victory!” Kina lifted her hands, and the camera cut to her crossing the finish line, soaked and covered in mud, surpassing her competitors. “God gets all the glory! It's none of me and all of Him!”

Sullivan booed and threw a pillow at the television.

“Real mature, Sully,” admonished Angel.

“Do you honestly think she meant a word of that? It's totally scripted!” insisted Sullivan.

Lawson turned to Sullivan. “Scripted or not, if it helps someone else or leads someone closer to God, it's all good.”

“You mean it's all
fake,
” Sullivan muttered.

Angel pinched her. “Stop hatin', Sully. You're just mad you're no longer the center of attention.”

“Call up Vaughn and make another sex tape and leak it on the Internet, Sully,” suggested Reginell. “You'll be trending again in no time.”

After a few more minutes of watching Kina trample her competition, Angel stretched and stood up. “Well, ladies, as fun as this has all been, duty calls.”

Lawson looked up from the television screen. “You headed to the hospital?”

Angel nodded. “From eight to eight, like every weekend for the past three months.”

“Angel, between your personal care business and the hospital, you're working sixty hours a week. How long do you think you'll be able to keep this up?” asked Sullivan.

“Until I can build up enough cash flow not to. Guardian Angel is practically bleeding me dry. I've got to work at the hospital to stay afloat.”

Sullivan squeezed Angel's hand. “I told you I'd loan you the money to tide you over for a while.”

Angel was confused. “What money, Sully? You don't work. You spend your husband's money, remember? Besides, I can do this, with the Lord's help and your prayers.”

“You know I'll be praying for you, girl, as always.” Lawson stood up. “In fact, there's no better time than the present to put in a little prayer for all of us.”

Sullivan and Reginell peeled themselves away from their seats and joined hands with Lawson and Angel.

“In the name of Jesus, Lord, we come praising your name. Thank you for grace. Thank you for your Word, and we thank you for bringing us together today for such a joyous occasion. Thank you so much for our precious angel, Charity Faith. She has brought nothing but love and happiness to everyone in this room and our entire church family. Continue to strengthen her. Make her virtuous and kind. Give her a desire to follow your ways and to know you, Lord. Watch over her parents. Give them the wisdom, resources, and compassion needed to bring up this child in the way she should go. We ask for your protection over her entire family for all the days of their lives.

“God, we know that you provide and bless according to your riches and glory. We know that through faith and patience, we inherit your promises. You've promised to take care of our every need, so I ask that you bless Angel abundantly in her finances, knowing that she works for you and will be a faithful steward over that which you bless her with. Help her to remember that you are her source and that jobs are only resources. Give her the strength and energy she needs to make it through this week and beyond.

“Lord, I thank you for my friends, whom I call my sisters. The soul of each one of us is knit to the other like your servants David and Jonathan. Let this friendship be the impetus to strengthen, not tear down one another. Thank you for the love between every woman in this room. And while we treasure these friendships, we know that friendship with the world is enmity to you, so let us be in this world but not of the world. Keep our eyes stayed on you. Let everything we do exalt you, Lord. We thank you and praise you in advance for all you're doing in our lives.”

“Amen,” said Angel, Reginell, and Sullivan in unison.

“And, Lord, please watch over Kina,” Lawson added. “Give her the courage and knowledge to carry out your plans. Keep her safe and bring her back home to us very soon.”

 

 

Kina Battle stared out of her high-rise hotel window into the starry California night. A few short months ago she had barely had money to put food on the table and had maxed out her credit cards to buy plane tickets, leaving Georgia with nothing but a hope and a prayer. Now she was ordering room service and lounging in designer robes. Both life and God were indeed good.

She looked over at her thirteen-year-old son, Kenny, who was brooding, as was usually the case these days. “Did you finish your homework?”

Kenny didn't look up from his electronic tablet to answer her. “Nope.”

“Why not?” demanded Kina.

“'Cause I didn't feel like it. I hate that school, and I hate this place! Why can't we just go back home?”

“This is our home, Kenny. It is for now, anyway.” She looked out the window again. “Besides, there's nothing left for us in Savannah.”

“Maybe not for you, but my friends are there, and so is my family. I miss Reggie and Lawson and Namon. I miss everybody.”

“So do I, but sometimes you have to make a fresh start,” she told him.
Because you've screwed up too much to go back home,
thought Kina.

“Can't we at least go home for the holidays?” pleaded Kenny.

“I've already booked us a trip to Cabo for Thanksgiving. You're gonna love it!” she promised, forcing herself to sound excited. “We're going to have so much fun boogie-boarding and snorkeling, you won't even remember to think about going to Georgia.”

Kina's enthusiasm fell on Kenny's deaf ears. “I'm going to always miss being in Georgia.”

Kina sighed. She missed home, but there was no turning back for her. Between her abusive husband's death at the hands of their son, falling for a woman, then her best friend's husband, and being barred from the only women she'd ever been able to call friends, Savannah was the last place Kina ever wanted to set foot in again.

—
Lawson Kerry Banks

 

“Is the food okay?” asked Lawson.

Her husband of two years, Garrett, nodded and swallowed. “It's great, babe. You've always been a whiz in the kitchen.”

Lawson smiled a little. It wasn't just the compliment. She was also grateful for the break in the dead air between them. Dinner that night, as with most nights since the birth of Garrett's son four months prior, involved little to no discourse. The clanking of forks on plates was the only sound drowning out the silence between them. That sound used to irritate Lawson, but she'd gotten used to it, as it had become the new normal of their dinner routine.

“How was the tea party?”

“It was what you'd expect from Sullivan—sweet and over the top, like Sullivan.”

“Is Namon still at Mark's?” asked Garrett, finishing the last of his stewed chicken.

She nodded. “I feel like he's practically living over there these days.”

“I can't say I'm surprised. Namon is almost seventeen. He's a young man now and wants his space and his freedom. We both know that Mark doesn't hold the reins nearly as tight as we do.”

“I know. Reggie is there, too, and I know he's crazy about his aunt, who seems way cooler to him than his mom does.”

“That shouldn't surprise you. Reggie's only twenty-five. She's practically a kid herself. Plus, Mariah came down this weekend. You know how much he enjoys spending time with his little sister.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I've driven Namon away,” admitted Lawson.

“You haven't done anything wrong. You're a wonderful mother. He's growing up, but I wouldn't worry too much. You've done an excellent job raising him.” Garrett warily broached the next topic. “Speaking of children, Simon had his four-month doctor's visit earlier today.”

Lawson clenched her teeth before clamming up, knowing what she had to ask but not wanting to hear the answer. “So what did the pediatrician say? How's . . . how's Simon?”

Garrett let out a deep breath. “Do you really care, or are you just making conversation?”

She replied with a terse, “If I didn't care, I wouldn't have asked.”

Garrett wiped his mouth. “According to Dr. Ratleff, Simon is great. The doctor said his weight is okay. His sleeping and appetite seem normal.” Garrett smiled. “Of course, he went ballistic when they tried to give him his shots. I think Simone was crying worse than the baby—”

Lawson butted in, cutting him off. “Uh-huh. Glad it went well.” She bolted from the table. “I guess I better start on these dishes.”

The irritation registered on Garrett's face. “Dang, you couldn't even give my son five minutes of your attention?”

Lawson continued gathering their plates. “I was listening, Garrett. I can do two things at once, you know?”

“Whatever,” murmured Garrett, and he rose from the table. “I'll be back.”

She stopped moving. “Where are you going?”

“Simone has plans tonight. She needs me to watch the baby for a while.”

Lawson slammed the plates down hard on the table. The loud crackle startled her husband.

“What's with you?” asked Garrett, alarmed.

“Sorry . . . They slipped.”

“Lawson, don't put up a front with me. I know you better than that.”

“It's nothing. I'm fine.” Lawson took a deep breath and leaned forward. She gripped the table and shook her head, forcing back tears. “No, I'm not.”

Garrett sidled up behind her. “What's wrong, babe? Talk to me.”

Lawson dropped her head and lowered her voice to practically a whisper. “Do you know what it does to me every time I hear that woman's name?”

He wrapped his broad arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheek. “I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to upset you. I know you're trying.”

She yielded to Garrett's loving embrace and caressed his hand. “I know you didn't do it on purpose. You don't mean to hurt me, and I don't mean to hurt you, but lately it seems like that's all we're doing.”

“Yeah, I know. It's going to take some time for us all to adjust. We both need to try a little harder, that's all.”

Lawson broke away from him. “Try a little harder to do what? Pretend like your affair never happened? Pretend that I'm not constantly reminded of it whenever you mention Simon? Pretend that it doesn't kill me inside every time you leave me and our family to go be with another woman and her child?”

Garrett was at a loss for words. “How do you expect me to answer that, Lawson?”

“I don't.” Lawson shook off indignation and scooped up their glasses. “Are you bringing Simon back here?”

“I'd like to if that's all right.”

The prospect annoyed Lawson, but she tried her best to conceal and suppress it. “Sweetie, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I've had a long day, and I've still got a ton of grad work to finish.”

Garrett tensed. “So what you're saying is that you don't want my son here.”

“I never said that. I just think Simon will be more comfortable in his own home, don't you?”

“Lawson, this is his home too.”

Lawson was flustered. “You know what I mean—the home he's most comfortable in.”

“I want him to feel at ease whether he's here with us or across town with his mother. If you were a little more welcoming, he would be.”

Lawson stood with her arms akimbo. “I've been welcoming, Garrett. I've opened my life and my home to both your mistress and her child.”

“Simone's not my mistress, and Simon is your stepchild. He's a part of both of our lives.”

“I've accepted that.” Lawson's temper flared. “I know he's your son, and I know you love him. I'm trying to get there too, but I'm not there yet.”

“Lawson, this has been hard on all of us. I've been asking you for months what I can do to make this right.”

She exhaled. “There's nothing you can do. It is what it is. Simon's here, and he's not going anywhere. Simone is his mother, and she's not going anywhere. You've made a commitment to the two of them, and you're not going anywhere, either. The only person in this equation who has an opening to leave is me.”

Garrett pulled her to him. “No, you don't. We've been through all this before. You're my wife, and it's going to stay that way,” declared Garrett. “My commitment to you and Namon is as important as the one I made to Simone to help her raise our son.”

“I know you want to believe that, but Namon is not your biological child. I'm a mother. I know firsthand that the bond between parent and child is unbreakable. If you ever had to choose between Namon and me and Simon and Simone, you couldn't turn your back on the child who has your blood running through his veins any more than I could.”

“Thankfully, no one is asking me to make that choice.”

“No,” replied Lawson. “Not yet.”

Garrett stood back. “That almost sounded like a threat, Lawson.”

“It's not.” Lawson took a softer line. “Garrett, I don't want to fight with you, not tonight.”

He yielded. “I don't want to fight, either.” He leaned down and pecked her on the lips. “I just want to love you.”

She smiled. “That's much better than fighting.”

“I've been thinking . . . maybe we should consider going back to counseling. Look how much we got out of those premarital counseling sessions.”

“Sweetheart, how many times do we need someone to tell us what we already know. Communicate more, spend time together, be each other's best friend, blah, blah, blah . . .”

“As many times as it takes to get this marriage back on track,” proclaimed Garrett. “Lawson, I've been with you for almost twelve years now. In the ten years before we got married, our relationship was wonderful. Somewhere along the road to matrimony, we lost it. We need to go back to what made this relationship work, and it was those fundamental things they told us about in counseling.”

“All of that was before Mark came into our lives and staked his claim on Namon, and before teaching and going back to school consumed so much of my time. It was also before I lied about taking my birth control pills, and before you broke our vows and slept with Simone, and before Simon even existed.” Lawson shook her head. “Too much has happened for things to go back to the way they were before.”

“A lot has changed over the last couple of years, I'll give you that. But what hasn't changed is the way I feel about you, Lawson. I love you today as much as I did two years ago, when we exchanged those vows.”

“I love you too. I don't even think you truly comprehend how much. I want to be the kind of wife you thank God for sending to you. I just don't know how to right now.”

“You're too hard on yourself, baby. Everything is going to be fine. I'm not going anywhere. You got that? I'm willing to do whatever it takes to work this out.”

Lawson lowered her head. “Except the one thing that it would actually take to make this marriage work again.”

“Lawson—”

“You better go,” she insisted, turning her back to him. “You don't want to keep your child and his mother waiting.”

Lawson held it together long enough for Garrett to get out of the house. Then she kneeled down to pray.

“Lord . . . Father, give me strength. I want to be able to walk before you in faithfulness, righteousness, and uprightness of heart, but I haven't been able to do that. I admit over the past few months I've separated myself from Garrett both spiritually and emotionally, and I know that's not your will for our lives or our marriage. Please tear down these walls I've built up. Break down that hardness in my heart that's directed toward my husband and his son. I know he's trying to be a good father to Simon and still be a good husband to me. Forgive me for making it harder on him than it already is. God, I don't want to be like this, but I need your help and your strength. I know that you are strongest when I'm at my weakest, and I don't think I can get much weaker than I am right now! Grant me the peace that surpasses all understanding. Empty this rage and pain and hurt inside of me. Fill me with your love so I can be the wife and woman you've called me to be.”

And as she'd done nearly every day since finding out Simone was pregnant eight months ago, Lawson broke down and cried.