For You (The Shore Book 2) (22 page)

“But doesn’t it? I didn’t even hold her before they took her away. Did she tell you that? I never saw her fingers or toes, or kissed her forehead, or breathed in her baby smell. I just signed the papers and pretended she didn’t exist.”

“Madison,” he cut her off again, “you were sixteen. You did in that moment what you thought was best for you and your child. That’s all anyone can ask of themselves.”

“But I gave her away and never told a person. Not one.”

“Listen to me. You can pick a fight with me all you want, but that isn’t going to change anything. You’re not going to push me away with this.”

When she looked into his eyes, she saw he meant what he’d said. She could either turn to him and lean on him, or she could continue to try to push him away. At that moment, she didn’t have the energy to push. She was tired of fighting on her own, of having to be the strong one all the time.
 

Madison buried her head in Declan’s chest and wrapped her arms around him as if she were holding on for dear life.

“What if I can’t be what she needs me to be?” she asked into his chest. “What if I let her down?”

“Have you asked her what that is? What she wants from you?”

Madison shook her head.

“Then I don’t think it’s something you should worry about right now.” He tightened his arms around her, glad she was knocking down another wall between them. “You probably both still have a lot of questions that need to be answered. You have a daughter to get to know and she has a new mom she’s excited about.”

Declan ran his hand up and down her arm.
 

“She’s pretty special.” His words came out of the blue, and there was warmth in his voice.

Madison looked up at him and raised her eyebrows.

“Well, I did hire her, ya know,” he grinned. “But I also spent the last however-many hours with her, getting to know her and talking with her. She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

Madison continued looking at him, unsure what to say.

“She got pretty worried about you when you didn’t come home last night.”

“Shit. The note.”

Declan nodded. He leaned back to grab something from his pocket. “And you left this behind.”

“My phone.”

“When I got to your house, Issy had just woken up so she wasn’t sure how long you’d been gone. Shortly after I got there, she noticed the address. We agreed you might need a little time, so we were waiting until morning to come find you.”

“But it must have been the middle of the night when you left.”

“It was. Issy woke up and saw you weren’t back yet and insisted on leaving right away. I couldn’t argue with her,” he said with a shrug.

“I’m sorry, Declan.”

He bent his head and gently kissed her forehead. “We know you’re safe now.”

Madison turned her head and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Should we go find Issy?”

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Madison agreed. “Yeh, let’s go. I’ve got some apologizing to do.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They spent the remainder of the day at the cottage talking and answering questions. How long did Madison and Jeremy date? What were Issy’s parents like? Were Jeremy’s parents still alive? Where did Issy grow up? When did Madison start drawing? How did Issy spend her summers? Who were Madison’s friends growing up? What subject was Issy majoring in at school?

It was a ping pong match of questions between them. Declan did his best to give them their space, but couldn’t help smiling when he heard them laughing. They had very similar laughs.

He didn’t want to intrude, so he spent a while on the beach relaxing, then ran to the store to get a few things so they could have lunch. As he was cleaning the kitchen so they’d have a place to eat, he came across an envelope that simply read: Madison.
 

He stopped and looked at it, wondering if that moment would be the best time to give it to Madison. Things were going well for her and Issy, so he decided to tuck the envelope away and give it to her later. He didn’t know what was inside, but he hoped it would give Madison the answers she was looking for.

As the sun began to set and the cottage darkened, they decided to head toward Wilmington and get a couple of rooms.

They checked into a hotel on the river and walked with shopping bags to their room. They had stopped at a store to pick up a few toiletries since none of them had packed for the trip.

“You going to be alright in your own room?” Madison asked Issy as she walked past the door leading to the room Issy would be sleeping in that night.

“Yeh, I’ll be fine. Having some time to think is probably good. And I can give Brooke a call.”

“Okay,” Madison smiled. “Let us know if you need anything, alright?”

“I will,” Issy smiled as she put her key into the door and opened it. “Night.”

“Night.”

“Night, Issy,” Declan added as he slid the key to their room into the lock and opened the door.
 

As they walked in, they set their things on the bed and turned to look at each other. Unable to read the expression on Madison’s face, Declan simply held out his arms to her. “Come here.”

She shuffled her feet to where he stood and wrapped her arms around his waist. It had been the longest forty-eight hours she’d ever experienced. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, but she was also excited about the idea of getting to know her daughter.

Declan tightened his hold as he felt her sigh against him. “You okay?”

“Yeh.” She pushed back so she could look in his eyes. “It’s just a lot in a short period of time.”

Declan nodded.

“Thank you,” she said with quiet sincerity.
 

“For what? I didn’t do anything,” he grinned.

“But you did. You listened. You didn’t get mad. You drove Issy all the way out here. You just paid for two hotel rooms. You’ve been incredibly patient. Thank you for that. For all of that.”

He simply smiled in return and leaned down to brush his lips against hers. “You’re welcome.”

She laid her head back on his chest, securing her arms tightly around his waist. “I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?”

“Do you think you could take Issy back to Charlotte with you tomorrow?”

“Sure. But where will you be?”

“I’d like to go to the shore. Talk to Ryan.”

Declan shifted so he could look into her eyes, questioning why she wanted to see Ryan.

“I never told her about the baby.”

Declan’s eyebrows sprung up. He was sure Madison and Ryan knew everything about each other by now.

“I know, I know … I just don’t think this is something I should tell her over the phone.”

“Okay. Whatever you need to do, Babe. I’ll take her back to Charlotte with me. That’s not a problem.”

She looked up at him again. “You really are a good guy, you know that?”

“I hope you still think so.”

Madison looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. The way he said it made her think he wasn’t joking. “Why would you say that?”

Declan let go of her waist and leaned over the bed to the bags they brought in. He grabbed the envelope he had slid inside as they got ready to come into the hotel.

“I found this today.”

Taking the envelope from his hands, Madison’s breath caught as she read her name on the front, written in Ellie’s penmanship.
 

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“No,” Declan sighed. “You and Issy were in the middle of a conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt that. I figured when we had a quiet minute I would give it to you. Like now.”

Madison ran her fingers over her name as she walked to the chair next to the window and sat down.
 

She lifted the flap, took out the piece of paper and unfolded it.

Dear Madison,

I can’t imagine the questions you probably have knowing everything you now know. I won’t apologize, but I am sorry about the hurt you’re likely feeling. I promise you that was never my intention.

You might be wondering who the little girl is in the pictures next to my chair. That’s Isabelle Elisabeth. Your daughter.

When I handed your baby to the social worker that day, I also gave her an envelope and asked her to give it to the baby’s adoptive parents. I know it was probably wrong, but I wanted them to have something of you. I wrote your daughter a letter and told her how amazing and strong and talented you are. I even included a drawing you made. To this day I don’t know if they ever told her she was adopted, but they did send me a new picture every year. It’s amazing how alike the two of you look.

Whenever you would come to the cottage, I would put the pictures in a drawer so you wouldn’t see them. Several times I tried to ask how your heart felt about your daughter, but you always cut off the conversation. You never wanted to talk about her. I guess I figured if you didn’t want to talk about her, you wouldn’t want to see her pictures either. That was an assumption on my part. I’m sorry if I was wrong.

I pray every day the two of you will meet again. Putting your baby up for adoption was, I think, still the right decision for both of you, but it created a hole in your heart. Maybe someday, when the two of you cross paths again, that hole will start to heal.

Maybe you could find her. Reach out to her. I know you did your best to keep your distance, but I know, Madison, I
know
you loved her. I heard you read to her and talk to her and rub your belly when she would kick. You are in a much different place now than when you gave birth to Isabelle. Please, consider opening that door and getting to know your daughter.
 

As for my health, I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition about a year ago. The doctors aren’t quite sure what is going to happen to me, how healthy or sick I will be, or even for how long my heart will continue to beat.
 

The reason I didn’t tell you was because I didn’t want to put a damper on what was going on with your life. You had just bought your house, were looking for a new job and you had friends you were spending time with – just as you should have been. And quite frankly, I wanted you to remember me as a strong, healthy person. Not weak and frail like I am bound to become.

I can hear your argument – I helped you when you needed it so why wouldn’t I allow you to do that same? The truth is, I don’t have an answer for you other than … I wanted you to live your life, Madison. I didn’t want you to put anything on hold for me or my illness.

Today, I’m writing you and I feel good. I feel strong. But I know tomorrow could be different. The most important thing you need to know is - I love you, Madison. Please don’t think my actions, or inactions, are sending any different message than that.
 

You were an absolute blessing in my life. I thank God every day Mrs. Erickson called and asked if I would help you. What an amazing gift she gave me that day!
 

You have grown into a beautiful, smart, strong and talented woman, Madison. It gives me great joy to know I had a little to do with that.
 

Please don’t stay mad at me for too long. I did what I thought was best. I realize it may take a while for you to see that, but I promise you, I was only trying to make things a little easier for you.
 

I love you, Madison Quinn. And no matter what happens from here, that will always remain true. Always.

Ellie

Madison stared once again at Ellie’s name on the bottom of the page. There was no way she could have ever expected to hear from her again. For six years she’d wondered why Ellie hadn’t told her she was sick, and for six years, the answers had been waiting for her to find.
 

Declan was laying on the bed playing with his phone trying to be invisible and give Madison her space. He looked up when he noticed movement and saw her standing at the foot of the bed, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“She didn’t tell me she was sick because she didn’t want me to put my life on hold for her.” She stood there and the longer the idea ruminated in her mind, the angrier she got. “She took me in when I had NO one. When I was at my absolute lowest in my life. But she felt she had to protect me because she was sick? How does that even make sense?”

Madison dropped the letter as her hands went to her face and the tears started again.
 

Declan slid off the bed and took her in his arms and held her, letting her cry.

Chapter 19

Madison woke to the steady rhythm of Declan’s heart beneath her ear. She was nestled into the crook of his arm, her head on his chest, an arm wrapped around his waist and a leg draped over one of his.
 

He had laid her down in bed the night before as she continued to cry and held her. Madison wasn’t even sure for how long her tears fell, but she was grateful Declan had been there with her.

A soft smile crossed her lips as she thought about how wonderful he’d been about everything. She slowly brought her hand to his chest and ran her fingers across it ever-so-slightly, drawing circles and other patterns. She simply enjoyed the feel of him beside her. That, too, was entirely new for her.

“Careful, you bring that hand any lower and you’re going to be in for a surprise.”

Madison chuckled quietly as she continued to tease him, running her hand up to his shoulder, over his heart, down around his waist and finally over the boxer briefs he was wearing. Slowing her movements, she gently covered his cock, already awake and hard. “You mean this surprise?”

“Hmm-mmm.” His voice was low and incredibly sexy.
 

While her hand continued to slowly caress the hardness beneath it, she turned her head until her lips found his jaw and placed several small kisses along it.
 

Declan shifted slowly to his side, not wanting her hand to stop what it was doing, so he could look at her.
 

“You are so damn beautiful,” he whispered, then curled his arm, bringing her lips within his reach.