Forever Love (13 page)

Chapter 15

Liv (Again)

I sit at the dinner table, slowly spearing the peas into my mouth while keeping my eyes trained on Noah. He still hasn’t started snooping yet and its been two days, it's making me more than uneasy. We spent last night talking about any and everything while laying in each others arms. As someone whose spent their entire life very much anti-cuddling, I was more than surprised to find that I actually like it. Though, with the Bitch as a mother, no wonder I'm not so good with affection, it's not like she showed me an ounce of It in my entire childhood. The phone ringing has me almost miss the pea I'm trying to stab with my fork and everyone at the table looks towards the living room where the home phone is. It's almost half seven at night, nobody usually calls at this time of the night. It carries on ringing and everyone looks towards each other before my Dad gets up from his chair, huffing and puffing.

"Looks like I'm answering it then." He mumbles, walking away.

I look back to my plate, its probably one of Chases friends from school, since they seem to be calling the house a lot lately. I don’t know why seeing as though he has his cell phone.

"Are you looking forward to going to Savannah this weekend Liv? You haven't seen your friend since moving from Atlanta, have you?" Pam asks sweetly.

It's Thursday today and hell if I'm not totally excited over going to Savannah on Saturday. Id barely gone a day without seeing Trina in all the time I've known her. It's more than a little weird to go for weeks.

"Yeah, I'm super excited."

"I think it's so good that your going with her Noah. I'm so happy that you two get along, we were worried about the whole sibling rivalry you know."

Of course, Noah is taking a sip of his glass of water at the same moment she picks to drop that little bombshell. Water flies out of his mouth, soaking the table and the front of my top. Chase is laughing his ass off and Pam is gently slapping Noah on the back as he coughs his guts up. Real smooth.

My Dad walks into the room, his face ashen as his rubs his hands up and down his face. You'd think someone had died with the expression on his face.

"Everything ok sweetie?"

He completely ignores Pam and keeps his stare on me. Oh shit, what the hell am I supposed to have done now? If its that bitch Brandy, imma kick her ass again. Her parents have been calling here the last few days with threats of charges and lawsuits and something about my Dad forking out for the slutbag to have Rhinoplasty on her nose.

"Liv, that was the Hospital in Atlanta."

Why would a hospital in Atlanta be calling my Dad? And what could that have to do with me? Shit, I hope Brandy didn’t hit her head or anything when I knocked her on her ass. It would be just my luck for the damn bitch to go and have some brain aneurysm or whatever it is people have when they get knocked out. I'm just about to start arguing my defense when his next word stop me cold.

"It's your Mom, she's been in a car accident."

I stare blankly at him as the whole room goes still, probably waiting for my reaction. I can see Noah out of the corner of my tensing, I know he's itching to get to me and comfort me.

Maybe I should be ashamed, maybe I should be guilty, but I feel absolutely nothing. Not a thing.

"She alive?" I ask, though I'm sure she is, after all, they say that the devil looks after his own.

"Yes sweetie, shes just a little banged up."

"Alrighty then, can I finish eating now?"

And just like that, I go back to my food. I'm sure I look positively cray cray but I couldn’t give a shit. They have no idea what my relationship is like with the Bitch, how much its deteorated to the point that the only thing that I worry about when she dies is forking out for her funeral. Hell, the state can bury her ass for all I care. Not even Noah knows that much about it, I try and avoid that line of conversation as much as possible. I don’t want her infecting my life here with her poison. I take a sip of my drink, trying to ignore the four pair of eyes staring at me, as if waiting for me to breakdown or something.

My Dad knows that me and the Bitch don’t get along but I'm sure he doesn’t expect this reaction for me. He doesn’t realize that she's been dead a long time as far as I'm concerned, roughly about two years to be exact.

"Liv, sweetheart are you ok?"

"I'm fine, thanks Pam." I smile as everyone continues to stare at me like I'm a snake about to strike.

"Well, we need to go to Atlanta."

Well that’s a sure as hell way to get a reaction out of me.

"Why?" I ask through gritted teeth.

I know I'm being completely unreasonable and I sound completely loko but I can't find it in me to give a shit. They have no idea what kind of a poor excuse for a mother she's been, if they did I'm sure they'd be agreeing with me. The way I see it, if she's gonna die, that one less piece of shit in the world and if she lives, it's no skin off my nose since she's two hundred miles away.

"Liv, did you not hear me just now? Your Mother is in the hospital, we have to go and see her."

I let out a sarcastic laugh at my Dads statement.

"No way, not a chance in hell. You can go if you're that worried about the evil dragon but I don’t see why I should waste my time on her."

"What on earth has gotten into you, she's your Mother."

I look my Dad square in the eyes, with a completely cold countenance.

"I don’t care."

His mouth drops open at that one and I scrape my chair back and exit the table.

"Where do you think your going?" He yells out after me.

"OUT!"

If I stay in this house a second longer, I'm gonna explode. They don’t understand, they never will understand. I feel the outside of jeans pocket for the outline of my phone and grab my purse from the hall table on the way out, trifling through it for my keys. I can hear footsteps behind me and whizz around to find Noah following me.

"Liv." I hold my hand up to him, I've heard my name enough for one night.

"I just need some air, I'll be right back."

I hope he understands that at this moment, I need to be alone. I've got a whole lot of shit running through my head and I can't think when he's around me. I see the tick in his jaw which tells me he's not at all happy about this but he gives me a simple nod and I walk out the front door to my car.

I get into it and start her up before screeching out of the driveway, Noah running out of the house with a look of pure panic on his face. He'll just have to get over it.

***

I pull in front of the dilapidated fence and get out of the car. It sure does feel good to have driven it, it's been way to long and I feel a little guilty at having thrown it over to travel in Noah's Mustang.

I lean against the side of the car, lying my head back with my eyes closed while fishing in my pocket for my phone, which has been ringing non stop for the last half an hour. I scroll past all of the missed calls, which alternate between Noah and my Dad. Pressing on Trina's number, I pull the phone to my ear listening to the ringing tone and praying she picks up.

"Hey Boo, what's up?"

"Hey." My voice breaks, not from any upset over the Bitches condition, I'm just overwhelmed by everything.

"Hey, hey what wrong? Is it Noah? Has he upset you cause if he has, tell him imma come down there, four hour drive or not and kick his ass."

I laugh at her outrage.

"No, he's not done anything. The Bitch has been in some sort of car accident."

"Well I know it's not that that’s got you upset. She still breathing?"

I don’t think I could love my bestfriend, my sister, anymore than I do in this moment. She understands, she gets me.

"Yeah, my Dad wants us to go to Atlanta and check on her. He doesn’t get it."

I say the last part on a whisper which turns Trina's voice from loud and over the top to soft and gentle.

"Maybe you should tell him so he does."

"No." I say, shaking my head furiously, even though she cant see me.

"Listen boo, I don’t know exactly what went down between you and your Mama and I'm not gonna pry, I figure you'll tell me when your ready. I do know, though, that it was bad. I remember how you turned up at my house that night."

I swallow the panic that’s clawing its way up my throat. I know what night she's talking about but I don’t want to hear about it. I'm almost tempted to cover my ears for my own sanity.

"I can't tell him."

"What about Noah? You gotta tell someone because it's not doing you no good keeping it all bottled in."

"I know."

I hear a loud sigh on the other end of the phone as my face is illuminated by bright headlights, causing me to squint. My mind feels like its ripping itself in half, torn between panic and relief. Panic that he's here and relief for the same exact reason.

"Listen Trina, I gotta go. I'll call you in a little bit ok."

"Wait, what?"

"Noah's here, I said I'll call you in a bit."

I quickly hang up on Trina and turn to the six foot hunk walking towards me, he looks mighty pissed.

"What the fuck Liv?!"

Yep definitely pissed.

"How the hell did you get here so quick?"

"I followed you."

Seriously, stalker much! 

"You know when someone says they want to be alone, it usually means no other people around."

"I agree, you didn’t say you wanted to be alone though, you said you needed some air and the next thing I knew you were hightailing it down the street." I roll my eyes.

"Well I want to be alone."

"That’s just too damn bad then."

What the hell is wrong with him? Can't a girl get some alone time to get her head together?

"What's going on?"

I turn away from him, walking towards the gate. He's still right behind me, I can feel him. I can always feel when he's near, like a magnet. He walks right past me and holds the gate open for me. I don’t think I've even had chance to touch that damn gate ever since I first saw it, he's always opening it and closing it for me. Just as he does with doors and chairs and whatever the fuck else he can help me with. Usually I'd find it sweet and it'd give me the warm and fuzzies but I'm pissed the fuck off so everything he does just annoys me at the moment.

I hoomph past him, which he seems to totally ignore. I take a deep breath in, taking in that oh so lovely scent that goes through me. This is our place, the place where everything has happened. It's not lost on me that I just happened to pick this place to come in my time of need. I feel his hand on my shoulder as he gently directs me round to face him.

"What's up? Is it your Mom? I know that’s a silly question, of course it is. It's ok to be worried about her."

"That’s just it, I'm not." I let out a sardonic laugh. "Honestly, I couldn’t give a flying fuck if she'd broken every bone in her body. Fucked up huh?"

My statement obviously surprises him and for once Noah Travis seems to be speechless.

I park my ass on the damp grass, feeling the wetness seep through my jeans but I can't find it in me to care. Bringing my knees to my chest, I lean my head in my lap, taking in deep breaths.

I feel Noah crouching down to me as he eyes the wet floor, before I hear an "Oh fuck it." And am lifted up and onto his waiting lap. I can't help but curl into his chest, it's like a protective cocoon. His scent, Invictus by Paco Rabanne, comforts me. It’s the scent I most associate with him since he wears it all the time.

"What going on?" His voice is gentle and a near whisper.

The only reply is a shake of my head, I don’t want to talk about it, not now, not ever.

"Surely things between you and your Mom can't be that bad."

I snort at his naivety, he really has no idea.

"Tell me then. Talk to me Liv, please."

His plea hits somewhere inside of me and for the first time ever, I find myself opening up.

"When I was little I loved my Mom, all kids do. It's not something you learn to do, just something that’s automatically there from the moment you're born, you know? The older I got, the more I noticed the difference between my Mom and my friends Mothers. Most of the affection in my childhood came from my Dad. I'm not sure whether he did that to make up for the lack of it from the Bitch. She never cuddled me, never told me she loved me, never read me bedtime stories or tucked me in. I remember being about six years old and scraping my knee and I ran inside all red faced and sniffly from crying, my knee was all banged up, hurt like hell. She just looked at me and there was nothing there, no concern or panic or anything. My Dad walked in and straight away he was all over me, getting first aid kits and trying to make me laugh. She didn’t even move in inch. It just got worse the older I got. She was never like openly hostile or anything, not until my Dad left anyway. She just didn’t care and then when he left and she was stuck with me, a kid that she obviously didn’t want or care for, she just didn’t hide it anymore. So no, I don’t care that she had a car accident, I'm not worried that she was hurt, and yes things are that bad."