Forgetting Yesterday (3 page)

“Sixty-eight
,” Claire said. “She kind of came with the store. She’s wonderful. Even if she is a tad forgetful.”

I
smiled. “So, what about Alex? Is this okay?”

“
It’s fine, great actually, that he’s there early. We’re supposed to be getting some bad weather toward the end of the week. If he can finish up before then, that would be good.”

We
disconnected for the second time that day and I stood there, wondering what I could possibly find to do. Watching television, especially daytime television, held no appeal. I spotted a stack of magazines on the coffee table. I wasn’t sure I had the patience to sit and leaf through them.

I
wasn’t used to having free time. Up until a few days ago I was a full-time college student that was constantly studying if I wasn’t working. I’d had a part-time job in the Admissions Office on campus. Now I had my degree but I was effectively unemployed. My job had ended with the term. It was just another factor that had made my decision to come to Grafton a whole lot easier.

I
spotted the laptop I’d left out in the sweltering sun. I slipped out the back door to retrieve it. Alex was at the edge of the house, propping a ladder against the eves. He gave me a polite nod as he went about his business. I snatched up the laptop and headed back inside. Soaking up more sun was out of the question. I’d undoubtedly end up gawking at Alex.

And how inappropriate would that be? Considering
I was only hours out of a relationship…
very
inappropriate.

In all fairness
, I thought,
physically I’m only hours out of a relationship.
Mentally
, I’d checked out months ago
.

I
felt listless as I paced through the living room and back into the kitchen. Claire’s house was spotless but I needed something to do. I began rummaging through my friend’s kitchen cupboards. I found a cookbook and everything I needed to make a batch of cookies.

Claire
had a stereo in the living room. I flipped it on; happy enough with the classic rock station it was set to. Alex hadn’t been wrong when he said he’d be making noise. Not only were his footsteps constantly pounding across the rooftop, I could hear him working at prying the old shingles off as well. That, I realized, might be how his arms had ended up looking so good.

T
he music drowned out the noise of his working a bit, but I was still very aware that he was there.

I
mixed everything together, snooping through the kitchen as I went. Less than an hour later, I pulled the last batch from the oven. Once they were carefully placed on a cooling rack, I placed two of them on a plate and helped myself to a glass of milk. I flopped down on the sofa, attempting to read a magazine I had no interest in.

I
had flipped my way through most of it when there was a knock on the door. Even with the music playing, I was sure I would’ve noticed if someone else had pulled up. Since I was fairly sure they hadn’t, I assumed it was Alex.

I
wasn’t wrong.

“Hey…damn,” he muttered as his eyes widened.
I realized belatedly that without my sunglasses on, my face probably looked worse than he’d originally realized. He shook his head and looked away. “I’m really sorry to bother you. But it’s hot as hell out here. Would you mind if I fill this up?” He raised a water bottle into the air. “I keep a small water cooler in my truck and usually fill it with that but,” he shrugged and made an apologetic face, “I’ve already used it all up.”

“Yeah, come on in,”
I said as I stepped aside. “Kitchen is this way,” I told him as I led the way.

He sniffed the air as
he made a little humming noise. “Yeah, I could just follow the smell.” As he filled his bottle his eyes wandered to the cooling rack on the counter.

“They’re oatmeal chocolate chip. Would you like one?”
I offered.

He turned to
me with a grin. “I probably shouldn’t, but I’m going to say yes, anyway.”

“Do you want milk?”
I asked as he leaned over the countertop to select a cookie.

“I’m okay,” he said, though his tone disagreed.

I did too.

No one should eat cookies without milk. It just wasn’t right.

“I talked to Claire,” I told him as I reached into the cupboard I’d discovered glasses in.

“Yeah?” he asked, grinning
as I poured him a big glass of milk.

I
nodded as I handed it to him. “She was glad you were able to start early.”

“That makes two of us,” he said.

After three cookies and a harmless conversation that mostly centered around the weather—the unbearable heat and the storm moving in—he headed back outside.

I
washed up the dishes we’d used, dried them and put them back in the right places. I checked the dishwasher. It was full of clean dishes so I put them away too. How better to become familiar with where everything went? Then I searched through the cupboards for a container to put the nearly two dozen cookies in.

“We do not need all of these,”
I muttered. I should’ve cut the recipe in half. I wasn’t sure about Claire but I, for one, didn’t need the calories.

A cookie here or there? Sure.

The better part of two dozen? No. Not a good idea.

I
rooted around some more, feeling a little like I was snooping even though it was just a kitchen. And honestly, if I stayed, it would kind of be my kitchen too.

I
found what I was looking for: a thick, disposable paper plate. I loaded it with cookies and covered it with plastic wrap. Slipping my sandals back on, I stepped outside. I was instantly wrapped in a blanket of heat. I walked backward toward Alex’s truck, cookie plate in one hand.

I
scoured the roof, raising my hand to shield my eyes from the sun. Alex had stopped what he was doing to glance down at me.

I
pointed at the plate and then to his passenger door. “May I?” I called.

“Hell, yes!” he called as he grinned back.

It was close to five when
Claire finally made it home. Alex was loading up his truck when she pulled in. I parted the curtains for just a moment, watching. Claire chatted with him for a while—presumably about the job he was doing—before coming inside.

For just a moment, I wondered if I should go out to tell him goodbye. I decided not to. Just because we’d shared a few cookies and chatted a few moments didn’t really make us friends, or anything. I tried to push away the pleased feeling that wormed its way through me when I realized I’d be seeing him again tomorrow. And possibly every day for the rest of the week. I shook my head at myself, realizing I was being ridiculous.

He could be married for all I knew. With two or three kids. Granted, he wasn’t wearing a ring but I knew that sometimes it was best not to wear jewelry of any kind when doing manual labor. That realization was enough to make me push away any even remotely PG-13 thoughts I might have been having about him.

I backed away from the window so I could meet Claire at the door.

She had a brown bag under her arm and she was balancing a pizza in her other hand. I relieved her of the pizza as she kicked her shoes off. “Pepperoni and mushroom, just like always. I hope that’s still okay?”

“It’s great,” I assured her.

“They won’t deliver out this far in the country. I had to get a take and bake one,” she explained. “I meant to get here a few hours ago but…” she shrugged, “there’s always so much to do. Then I had to make a few stops.”

Claire was sneaking little glances at
me. I couldn’t miss the sympathetic look on my friend’s face. Instead, I chose to ignore it. Soon, the bruises would fade, the scrapes would heal. I hoped that for the most part, all would be forgotten. Left in the past, where it belonged. Because as far as I was concerned, there was no room for it in my future.

“It’s fine. I knew you’d be busy with work,
” I told her with a smile. I had finally resorted to watching some bad television to pass the time. “I don’t want you to change your schedule, or anything else for that matter, because of me.”

It was the first day
I’d had to myself in a very long while. I didn’t need to worry about going home, only to find out that I’d done something to upset Jason. Or that something at work had upset Jason. Or one of his friends had upset him. Any and all of the above were enough to set him off. Enough to make him take out his frustration on me, regardless of whether or not I was the cause. Usually it was done verbally…emotionally…but lately…

Lately he’d become more physical.

I continuously reminded myself that I no longer had to worry about that.

In fact,
I didn’t need to worry about Jason at all. The realization was…liberating.

Claire
was a few inches taller than my five foot four frame. She had creamy skin, pale green eyes and curly auburn hair. She had it pulled up in a loose bun. Minus the bag that most probably contained wine, she looked just like the Claire I’d grown up with.

“Don’t worry,”
she said with a sigh, “this time of year I’m so busy I apparently can’t change my schedule even when I want to.”

I
followed her into the kitchen as she placed her purchases on the counter. Claire then turned, narrowing her eyes at me. “Do I smell cookies? Please tell me I smell cookies.”

I laughed
and pointed to the container on the counter.

She
peeled back the lid and pulled one out. “Oh, yum. I never take the time to bake,” she said around a mouthful. “You must’ve been bored?” she asked with raised eyebrows.

I shrugged
. “Not too bad but yeah, I wanted to find something to pass the time.”

“I’m sorry about
Alex. That he popped in on you like that. Sometimes I forget to turn my cell phone on when I’m making last minute deliveries. I should’ve answered it so I could’ve warned you,” she said with a grimace.

“It was fine. I mean, he was outside. I was inside.”

She nodded as she finished off the cookie. “Good. He’s a nice guy, I think. I mean, I don’t know him well. But I do know he does good work. I met him last year when he shingled the roof of my shop. He came highly recommended. I was happy with the job he did there so it only made sense to have him do the house too. Just my luck I ended up with two fixer-uppers. Actually, the shop wasn’t bad. Other than the roof, I only had to do some minor work. The house,” she said as she made a face, “was a different story.”

I
glanced around. “It looks
really
nice.” Claire had always been the artistic one. It showed in her decorating.

She
beamed at me, loving the compliment. “Thanks. It’s been a lot of work but it’s been worth it. I’m so glad to finally be at the end of the remodeling.”

She’d purchased
the house nearly two years ago. I had never been here but Claire had e mailed me some pictures. That was back when we still talked on occasion, before we’d drifted apart completely. Those pictures were only a vague recollection but I knew a lot had been done to the place.           

“Alright,”
she said as she gave the counter a slap, “I’m going to go shower. Then if you don’t mind, we’ll dive right into the pizza
and
,” she pulled two bottles of wine out of the bag, “these.” She had a devilish glint in her eye as she set them down. “Do you realize that you and I have never had a drink together? I mean, not since we became legal?”

I grinned
back. “We haven’t, have we?” We’d had our share of nights out and partying in high school. Memories of fun times, times long past, flitted through my mind. It seemed like a lifetime ago yet those memories with Claire meant everything to me.

I was hit by a sense of nostalgia and realized she must’ve been as well.

She dove at me, pulling me into another gentle hug. “I know I’ve already said it, but I’m probably going to keep saying it. I am so glad you’re here. This is going to be just like old times!”

She released
me and darted off to shower.

I smiled
to myself, so relieved over her excitement. I crossed the kitchen, turned the oven on, and allowed it to warm up. I had a feeling that Claire had skipped lunch today in an effort to get home sooner. I pulled out some plates and glasses for dinner before sliding the pizza in. Then I settled back onto the sofa to wait.

I
’d been worried that things would be weird, or at the very least, strained. I was sure we both knew I was to blame for the lapses in our communication. But it hadn’t felt that way at all, neither weird nor strained. As I waited for Claire to join me, I felt that I had, without a doubt, made the right choice.

I
wanted to start a new life.

I
was
going
to start a new life.

And
I hoped to do it here, in Grafton.

*******

“Yes!” Claire said with a giddy, drunken little clap of her hands. “Yes, you can stay here as long as you want to! I would love to have a roommate!”

“What about
Sean? Is he going to mind?” I hesitantly asked. Claire was more than an entire glass of wine ahead of me. I wasn’t nearly as giddy as she was. I didn’t want to cause problems in her relationship. “I mean, staying for a week or two is one thing. Moving in…whole different story. And really, it doesn’t have to be too permanent. I can leave anytime you want, if you decide it gets to be too much. Mostly, I just need to get on my feet.”

It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but it was true. And admitting it to Claire wasn’t hard at all. I knew she’d understand.

We’d eaten and cleaned up the ensuing mess. Since then, we’d worked our way down memory lane while we drank our way through a bottle of wine. We were currently working on our second bottle as our conversation turned to the present. I had asked Claire about her business. She was obviously in love with her job. Better yet, it was going well.

Buying an existing business had paid off. The elderly woman she had purchased it from had been in business for years. She had built up a favorable reputation.

In all honesty, Claire told me, a lot of people from town probably hadn’t realized the business had changed hands. They just continued to do business at The Petal Pusher, not really giving a second thought to ownership. She had managed to buy her way into the perfect set-up.

I
was happy for her, though I didn’t doubt for a minute that her success hadn’t come easily. I was sure she’d worked hard. She had found a career that she loved and that she could support herself with. After that, the conversation had swung back around to me. Claire wanted to know what my plans were. When I had hesitantly told her that I might want to stick around Grafton indefinitely, she’d taken the news better than I had ever hoped.

She had been surprised but elated.

“I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. I would love it if you stayed. And Sean?
Pshaww
,” Claire said as she tried to brush aside my concern with a wave of her hand. “He has a roommate too. He lives with his brother, Clay. Oh!” she said. Her eyes got big and wide and I knew exactly where she was headed in the conversation so I cringed. “You should meet him! He’s
cute
,” she informed me, drawing out the word. “He looks a lot like Sean but he’s a few years older. He’s a couple of inches taller and his hair is blonder.” She finally noted my look of hesitation. “Too soon?” she guessed. I nodded. “Okay. But eventually?” she asked, clearly hopeful.

“Sure,”
I agreed. Mostly because it was easier than disagreeing but also…
Why not
? I thought with a sigh.

“What do we need to get you settled in?”
she wondered. “Go ahead and do anything to the room that you want to. Or just leave it. It doesn’t matter to me. How are you sitting with clothes…?”

I shrugged
. “Good. I was able to grab everything. I um…I actually packed almost everything up a few days ago. I was just waiting until after graduation.” Claire was watching me, her lips pursed in an apparent effort to keep them sealed shut. “I have some money in savings but right now, the two things I need most are a cell phone and a job.” I said this with a smile, hoping to keep the tone light, despite the weight in my stomach. I felt my anxiety weighing me down. But maybe that was normal. I realized all recent graduates must feel somewhat displaced.

Claire started nodding. “Bummer about forgetting your phone.”

It was. But really, did I need a cell phone? I frowned at the thought. Sadly, I had very few people I could call. And one of them was going to be my roommate. I’d lost touch with everyone else over the years.

“The phone is easy,”
Claire said as she leaned forward to refill her glass. “Whenever you’re ready we can go to town for that. A job…” She looked contemplative.

“There were a few things listed,”
I said, injecting more optimism into my words than I actually felt. “I’ll check them out. I’m sure something will come along.”

“
As long as it’s not waitressing.” Claire snorted a laugh. “You’re the world’s worst waitress.”

“Yeah, I know,”
I agreed with a small smile. I had to write everything down.
Everything
. Worse yet, I could never master balancing those heavy trays. And I’d always needed help remembering who had ordered what. It had been ridiculous. Waitressing had
really
not been my thing. “I thought maybe I should look in the local paper. I’m hoping there will be a few more listings in there.”

“Hmm,”
Claire said, “okay. I’ve gotten to know quite a few people in town. Sean’s from here so maybe he would have some ideas. I’ll ask around. In the meantime, I’ll stop and get you a paper tomorrow. Maybe that will help.”

“Thanks. I should probably wait a few days before I head out looking for anything, though,”
I admitted.

Claire
nodded as she slanted a look at me. “Do we need to be worried about him showing up here?”

I
shook my head. I didn’t want her to worry about that. I never would’ve shown up on her doorstep if I thought Jason would be a problem. The very last thing I intended to do was to pull my best friend into the mess I’d made.

“No,” I said decisively.
“He has no idea where I’m at. And even if he did, I don’t think it would matter. It’s pretty clear that things are over between us.” But just to be on the safe side, there was a reason I’d chosen to come here as opposed to heading back to my hometown. I knew that despite the emotional distance between us, my dad would’ve welcomed me back with opened arms, I was sure. Especially now that he had the house to himself. I knew how lonely he must be. I planned on visiting him soon. But moving back to my hometown would’ve been too obvious.

I
really didn’t think Jason would come looking for me. But I wasn’t willing to take that chance. If at all possible, I’d rather avoid him completely for the rest of my life. Also, it was hard enough to own up to my mistakes when it came to Claire. I didn’t want to have to explain things in detail to my dad. I wasn’t sure how much he was aware of. He’d been so wrapped up in Mom when Jason and I were together.