From This Moment On (13 page)

“Nikki.” He grabbed her wrist and moved her hand away while raising himself to a sitting position.

“I’m not done.”

Curling his fingers around her nape, he pulled her face toward his until he’d claimed her lips. The kiss wasn’t rough but neither was it anywhere close to gentle. It felt to Nikki as if a fair amount of restraint was required for him to keep himself in check.

With his other hand, he found her breast and toyed with the nipple. She was sensitive there, always had been, but Trace doing the touching made her tremble like a butterfly caught in a windstorm. He switched to her other breast, then kissed his way down from her chin to her collarbone to the nipple he’d abandoned. She watched him take the pearled tip into his mouth, sucking greedily for a few seconds, then lightly flicking it with his tongue.

She let her eyes drift closed and arched against him. “I want you inside me,” she whispered.

His fingers tightened on her neck, the slight pressure an amazing turn-on, even as his mouth stilled. She could feel his breath, though, warm and moist and seductive, skimming her hypersensitive flesh. He pressed a final kiss to her breast, released her neck and urged her to lie back.

He knelt beside her to tear open the packet, recoiling when she touched his erection. “Not a good idea.”

“Really?”

His laugh came out shaky. “Really.” He sheathed himself, then spread her legs farther apart.

She wanted to touch him so very badly but the desperate need to feel him hot and throbbing inside her won out. He positioned himself between her thighs, running his hands along the outside all the way to her calves, catching an ankle and bending her leg. He paused to kiss the tender skin just above her knee, and her impatience flared.

Yes, it felt good, but she wanted him pushing inside and filling her to the hilt. The need was so great it was crazy, completely irrational, igniting sparks of both longing and panic she didn’t understand.

He pulled her legs around his waist, and she lifted her hips and clutched two fistfuls of the wool blanket. The big bright moon was behind him so she couldn’t see his face. It didn’t seem fair that he could see hers.

“God, look at you,” he murmured, and teased her opening with his cock. He’d barely dipped inside when he leaned back again.

“Dammit, Trace.”

“Don’t you want this to last?”

“No. Later, yes.” She probably wasn’t making any sense. Too bad. “Now, no. Come on. Please.”

He moaned her name and plunged inside her. The force behind his entry shocked her even though it was exactly what she wanted. She couldn’t catch her breath. Couldn’t form the words to tell him to keep going when he slid partway out. But he knew and pushed back in, slower now, but just as deep. She tightened her legs around him, clenched his cock, daring him to withdraw.

Trace shuddered. “I can’t hold back.”

“I don’t want you to.”

He surprised her by pulling out. The next thrust nearly rocked her senseless. She let go of the blanket. It wouldn’t help her. Instead she clung to him, lifting her hips to meet each thrust, the fire raging inside her growing out of control.

“Open your eyes, Nikki,” he whispered, still gripping her hips, but the pressure of his fingertips easing.

She lifted her lashes. Even though his face was in shadow, she sensed he was staring into her eyes. The thrusts had subsided, too, but he was still moving inside her as he lowered his head and kissed her parted lips. At this new angle, his erection sent a jolt of sensation that shimmered through her entire body.

Trace stopped moving. The earthy cry that exploded from his throat raced along her nerve endings. It seemed impossible that she could be triggered by a sound, but the climax that washed over her was stunningly real. So was the hot openmouthed kiss consuming her.

It struck her as funny that he could be kissing her with this much hunger, as if she was the first woman he’d encountered after being celibate for a year. She knew that wasn’t true.

He lifted his head. “You’re laughing?”

“No. Uh-uh.” She bit her lip. “Just a little.”

After a long silence, he said, “I’m gonna need some serious therapy.”

“No, you don’t.” Nikki giggled and hugged him. “I’m not laughing at
that
part.”

Bracing himself on one elbow, he tenderly brushed aside the strands of hair that clung to her cheek. “Will I hate myself for asking?”

She heard the smile in his voice and decided she needed to see his face. “Roll over,” she said, giving him a gentle shove.

He did, and took her with him.

Soft moonlight lit his features. Much better. Sighing happily, she stacked her hands on his chest, rested her chin on them and stared into his darkened eyes. “Am I too heavy?”

“Not even a tiny bit.”

“Good answer.” She shivered when he cupped her backside with his large callused hands. He looked serious. “What are you thinking about?”

A faint smile curved his mouth. “I knew from the get-go that you, Nikki Flores, were gonna be a heap of trouble.”

13

“W
HAT
DID
YOU
DREAM
about, Nikki?” Trace asked out of the blue. He shifted his gaze from the glowing moon and stars shining against the dark sky to her face. “When you were a kid, what did you want to be or do?”

She lay beside him on the blanket, both of them looking up at the stars, completely naked. Her left palm was pressed to his right palm, their fingers intertwined. “When I was really little, like second or third grade, I wanted to be an astronaut.”

“A what?”

“Hey. It could’ve happened.”

“I’m sure you could be anything you set your mind to. It just wasn’t what I expected, is all.”

“Remember I lived in Houston. NASA wasn’t far and was always in the news. Turns out I didn’t really want to be an astronaut,” she admitted. “I thought if I had a big important job, then my father would love me.”

Trace touched her cheek. “He didn’t even deserve you.”

She smiled, shrugging. “I guess every kid with divorced parents or who was abandoned has an ‘if only’ version floating around in their heads. It’s no big deal.”

“I reckon you’re right. Even after my dad died I kept thinking if only I hadn’t argued with him over that stupid dance...”

“You don’t still go there, do you?”

“No, not for a long time. We had a great relationship and I focus on that.”

She squeezed his hand. “Look at my poor brother. After all he went through he never completely let go of wanting to please Wallace. In February Matt found a stack of articles going back to the beginning of his rodeo career. They were hidden in Wallace’s desk, but did he have the decency to say a word to Matt?”

Nikki breathed in the fresh Montana air, unwilling to let the old man ruin her night. He was gone and couldn’t hurt them anymore. Unless she allowed it.

Trace shifted so that he could put an arm around her, providing a nice comfy spot for her head to lay on his shoulder.

“You know what, though...? I scored because I ended up with having Matt for a brother. I’d trade a father for him any day.”

“Matt’s a good guy. I’m glad for both you and my sister.” He kissed her hair, then smiled at her. “I’m not doing too badly, either.”

He did look happy.

But for how long?

The unwelcome thought sneaked in before she could block it. Tonight was about tonight, and that was it. One brief moment in the whole scheme of things. They’d had sex, so what? She’d only hurt herself if she started confusing hormones and unjustified feelings for Trace with a future that would magically fall into place.

“So,” he said, “once you nixed the rocketing into space thing, what then? What did little Nikki have a hankering for?”

She sighed. “Little naive Nikki woke up and figured out dreaming was for fools or people who had time and money to spend.”

“Come on now, you don’t mean that.”

“I do,” she said with a laugh, mainly to tone down her pessimistic words. “What about you? What haunted your dreams?”

“Haunted, huh?” He rested a cupped hand on her breast. Somehow instead of being suggestive, it was a casual, comfortable touch. Still, it made her pulse race. “In eighth grade,” he said, “I decided I wanted to go to college and study modern ranching techniques.”

“Did you?” she asked, and he shook his head. “Why not? Rachel and Jesse went.”

“Lack of money and bad timing.”

She pulled back to look at him, then found a position lying on her side that made it easier to watch his face. The Sundance was the second largest ranch in the county. The Lone Wolf beat them by only a hundred acres. She’d figured the new dude ranch operation was helping to bring in cash, but mostly to avoid layoffs while times were tough. At least that had been her assumption. It was hard to imagine the McAllister family having serious money problems. Severe enough that Trace couldn’t afford school.

“What do you mean by bad timing?” She decided to lead with the less touchy issue.

“After Jesse finished college he joined the air force. None of us expected that. My father had passed away two years earlier and Cole was running the ranch. He did a hell of a job. I helped as much as I could but I was still wet behind the ears. Man, I would’ve felt like shit taking off for college and leaving him to shoulder everything. I figured I still had time, even if I had to wait until Jesse got out of the military.” He lifted a thick lock of her hair, then watched it sift through his fingers and fall behind her shoulder.

She thought the gesture sweet until she realized he was simply preserving his view of her bare breast. It made her smile.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She scooted closer and rested her hand on his waist. “And?”

“Rachel was coming up behind me and I knew she was itching to go to that fancy college in Dallas. Tuition wasn’t cheap, although we didn’t have money problems back then. Several years later, yeah, big hurdle. But nearly everyone around here was in the same fix, and we’re still meeting payroll so no complaints from me.”

“Except Jesse is home now and you should be able to go to school if you want.”

“Money is still tight. Anyway, no point in learning about a bunch of new techniques we don’t have the financial resources to implement. Maybe someday.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I read a lot and try to keep up on what’s out there or what might be coming down the chute. Let everybody else be guinea pigs.”

She hated that he’d been held back, and was stunned to learn the McAllisters weren’t the family of power and means she’d imagined. They’d compromised and worked their butts off so their hired hands could keep their jobs. She liked them all the more.

“By the way...” Trace let the backs of his fingers trail over her breast. Her nipple’s instant response made his mouth curve in a smile. “Don’t say anything about my wanting to go to college to anybody. No need kicking up dust for nothing.”

“Doesn’t your mom or any of your family know?”

“Nope. I was a pretty decent student. I got mostly B’s, though, not like Rachel and Jesse. My mom was still mourning my dad, and I think she figured I was more like Cole and didn’t have a head for school.”

“You must’ve mentioned it at some point.”

He leaned closer and tongued her nipple. They’d already made love twice in the three hours since returning from Kalispell. Trace had been quick to inform her he had a third condom in his glove box. She knew he wanted to distract her, but he also wanted her, period. No hiding that fact with his hard-on swelling hot and thick between them.

She touched him, hadn’t yet wrapped her fingers around his penis when he jerked back.

“Careful now, honey, or we’ll be heading for that finish line too soon again.”

“We?” Nikki laughed. “You’re like a teenager. You can’t hold back for one—” She gasped at the speed with which he spread her legs and positioned himself between them.

He pressed soft warm kisses just under her belly button, down to the narrow strip of hair left from her Brazilian wax.

“Hey.” Ordering herself not to react, she arched off the blanket anyway. “We were talking.”

“Go right ahead.” He slid a hand under her butt and lightly squeezed.

She tried to grab a fistful of hair but missed. He’d moved out of reach, trailing his lips lower, inserting a finger to test how slick she’d grown. He lifted his head, and her groan turned into a laugh at his self-satisfied smirk. “What are you doing?”

His gaze moved to her breasts. Looking like a kid who’d been told not to touch the hot stove but couldn’t seem to help himself, he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. “You haven’t figured it out yet?”

“I know
what
you’re doing. What I want to know is— Oh.” She jumped at the intimate swipe of his tongue.

Trace licked his way back up to her lower belly and smiled. “I’m gonna go so slow you’ll be begging me to hurry.”

* * *

I
T
WAS
AFTER
FOUR
by the time Trace drove her to the house. The foyer lamp had been left on, as well as the porch light. Matt’s room was completely dark. He normally didn’t stay up too late, though she doubted he ever fell asleep before she got home from the Watering Hole. She wondered if he’d been listening for her tonight.

Trace surprised her by cutting the engine. She’d been ready to jump out and dash inside before the hands’ two Border collies started barking.

“I’m not making out with you in front of the house,” she said, barely able to keep a straight face.

“You don’t think I could get you to do that if I wanted?”

Her startled laugh came out much too loud and she covered her mouth. “You cocky bastard.”

“Come here.” He reached for her, catching an arm and pulling her toward him.

“Oh, no. You don’t even get a good-night kiss for that.”

He settled for holding her hand. “We should talk.”

Her heart nose-dived. “About?”

“How we should handle our relationship.”

Relationship.
She turned the word over in her mind. They’d had sex, and yes, it was really great sex. The best she’d ever had, and she hoped for more of it. But that didn’t mean anything had changed between them.

“I’m not sure how open you want to be about us,” he said. “There are things to consider.”

“I’m not going to take out an ad in the
Salina Gazette
and announce I had sex with you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Nikki.” He looked shocked, his hand tightening around hers. “Did I really give you that impression?”

“No. I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I promise we aren’t pulling anything over on Matt. I doubt he thinks we’ve been playing checkers all night. Personally, I don’t care that he knows we’ve had sex.”

For a moment she thought Trace might’ve flinched slightly. He continued to study her, his expression troubled. The silence kept growing, and she didn’t know how to fill it. He hadn’t released her hand but whether he did or not, in a second she was getting out of the truck.

“I’ll talk to Matt later,” he said, finally. “Tell him it was my fault...that I kept you out late.”

“You will not. I can’t believe you—Matt is my brother, not my guardian. For God’s sake, Trace, I’m twenty-five.” She really wanted to throw something. “I can handle my own life. God,” she said through gritted teeth.

Trace just sat there as the furrow in his brow deepened. “That came out wrong. I only meant that I don’t want him thinking that anyone saw us, or— Look, this is a small town, people talk. He should know we were careful. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Careful about what? Are you worried about my reputation?”

“Well, yeah. You know how bad the gossip can be.”

She breathed in deeply. First, he talked about a relationship, and now he cared if anyone had seen them? That didn’t even make sense. She might be Matt’s sister, but everyone knew she wasn’t like him.

Though she
would
prefer not to be thought of as just another notch on Trace’s belt once he moved on, but if that happened... “If there’s gossip, I’ll deal with it.”

“Just you? On your own?”

She nodded. “Seriously. Don’t worry about it. I can take the heat.”

“Honey, do you regret what we did tonight?”

“No. Not at all.” Nikki sighed. “I really don’t. I just hope things don’t change between us.”

Trace stayed silent for a long time. He’d turned his head so that he could stare out the windshield and into the darkness.

“Hey,” she said, and he turned back. “If we hook up again, we hook up again. If we don’t, that’s okay.” She shrugged. “That’s all.”

If he’d seemed confused before, now he looked pissed.

“What?”

“Nothing. You seem to have figured it all out.” He pushed his hand through his hair. “Look, you’re strong and independent and I admire that about you. I have no doubt you can handle your life just fine. But that doesn’t mean I’ll sit on my thumbs and not want to have your back. If it makes it easier letting Matt know what’s what, then I want to be there.”

Again, she didn’t know what to say. With the exception of her mother and now Matt, no one had ever had her back. Not in the way Trace meant. It seemed hard to believe he was sincere, but everything from the way he looked at her to the care he took when he held her said he was.

That didn’t mean she thought he’d still be knocking on her door next week. “Fine.”

“Damn right it’s fine.” He cupped her chin and looked into her eyes. “Tell me you wouldn’t be there for me.”

“Of course I would,” she murmured, still not sure how to take this. She’d expected him to be the one to make it clear there were no strings attached. In her experience guys tended to do that after they got what they wanted. Maybe their friendship made things different.

She’d never been friends with a guy before. Garret had been concerned with his own reputation, not hers. And the others? She doubted if they’d ever given it one thought. All Trace did was confuse her. “I’d better get inside before the dogs start barking.” She lifted the handle, but before she could get out, Trace had come around to her side.

“What?”

“You couldn’t wait and let me get the door for you?”

Nikki grinned. “First you say sexist things about showing me off and then you want to open the door for me.”

“At least I’m consistent.” That damn smile of his. He slid his arms around her, apparently unconcerned that the porch light was shining on them. “I want that good-night kiss.”

She glanced at the dark bunkhouse. “So much for not sparking any gossip.”

“Yeah,” he said, pulling away a bit. He rubbed her back, brushed a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “About that...I sure can try to keep us low-key, but it means I’d have to stay away from the Watering Hole.” His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Although I don’t see me pulling it off for more than an hour.”

“A whole hour, huh?” Nikki was getting pretty good at appearing cool, except for her traitorous sprinting pulse. “You better not be using me to discourage all those women from chasing after you.”

“Using you? You know better.” He tipped her chin up. “Gotta admit, though, that’s a nice bonus.” He looked at her as if kissing her this very instant was the most important thing in his whole life. But he held back. For her. When he let go of her hand to step away, she grabbed on to his shirtsleeve.