Gate Deadlock (10 page)

He looked surprised. ‘Your stepfather doesn’t
know this man and he certainly did not send him here.’

I tried to work out the meaning of what he had
just said. Christopher had told me he was returning Daugh a favor.
It had to be a misunderstanding or something that Don was missing.
I sensed by the redness on his face that he was about to cross the
line.

I stood up determined to avoid that.

‘Listen Don, I really appreciate the
concern, but you shouldn’t worry
about
me. There’s nothing going on between
Christopher and me. Just two adults, hanging out together, that’s
all. You wouldn’t like to have me mourn for having been cheated on
by Colin for the rest of my life, would you? And for the record,
Colin IS ancient history as far as I’m concerned. And YOU have no
right to interfere in my personal life. So, if you’re finished I
have a class to attend!’

I had been too carried away by anger and raised
my voice higher than I wanted to. I had never spoken to my
godfather this way and I knew he would never forgive me for
this.

He stood up, leaning forward with his hands on
his desk in a position of attack.

‘FOR GOD’S SAKE EMMA!’ he shouted. Then he went
on making an effort to keep his voice down. ‘You are completely
cluess as to his background. If you removed your blinkers you would
realize he’s not what he claims. It’s a verifiable fact, you
know.’

I shook my head in disbelief.

‘I’m really disappointed by you Don.’ I tried to
control my trembling voice. I felt my eyes mist with tears and I
turned for the door.

‘Ask him about his past, then! He has
lied to you. It’s all a display, don’t you see? HE’S NOT WHO YOU
THINK HE IS. IT’S A LIE; EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS A LIE. ASK HIM
WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THE PROJECT AND…. YOUR FATHER’S MURDER!’

He regretted those last words immediately. I
turned to look at him, my eyes wide open. He had collapsed in his
chair, rubbing his forehead. He gave me the impression that he was
talking to himself, but I could still hear him.

‘I shouldn’t have mentioned that. My god!’

He looked devastated, but I could not care less
about him at that moment. My eyes were still wide with shock of
what I had heard. I opened my mouth to say something, but words
just did not seem to come out. I was on the verge of
collapsing.

I opened the door and walked out. My legs felt
numb. Leaning my back against the door, I took a deep breath wiping
my tears with my hand. A group of students suddenly appeared at the
end of the corridor talking loudly, taking me out of my daze. I
took the lift. I needed to go out of the building because I felt I
could not breathe anymore.

My mind was blank. I did not know how long I had
been walking when I realized I was at the end of the beach road,
right where the sandy beach made a small, rocky curve. It was a
quiet, secluded place, quiet enough for me to contemplate what I
had heard from Don. I sat under the shade of a small eucalyptus
tree.

All these allegations were, had to be, totally
unfounded. I could not decide what had hurt me the most. The fact
that I might have willingly let myself be deluded by Christopher,
the verification of my darkest fears about him, or Don’s last hint
about my dad? How could Christopher know anything about my dad’s
murder? He must have been very young then. He had mentioned he knew
my father but I had thought he was talking about Daugh, as everyone
seemed to miscall him my dad. Could he be talking about my father?
Why didn’t he just say it?

I called my mum, doing my best to hide the
despair I was into. First, I answered to her questions about the
conference patiently before saying:
‘Tell
Daugh, Dr Auburn says hi.’ I heard her transferring my message to
Daugh who was obviously next to her, eavesdropping on our
conversation.

‘Are you sure about the name, honey? It doesn’t
ring a bell to him.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I’m probably wrong about it.’
I’ll call you again. Bye mum.’ I hung up on her, unable to pretend
anymore. I put my head on my knees, closed my eyes and let the
tears run down my cheeks.

I did not know how long I had been there. The
sun was about to dive below the velvet-orange line of the horizon
when my cell phone rang. I took it out of my bag to see
Christopher’s number in the small screen. My first thought was to
turn it off, but then I thought of the questions that had been
torturing me and I knew I could not wait anymore for the
answers.

‘Yes Christopher?’ I said anxiously and,
suddenly, I couldn’t help wondering if that was his real name.

‘Are you still in? I can see your car here. I
have a surprise for you.’ He sounded really excited, but I’d had
enough surprises for one day.

I simply said ‘We have to talk.’

For a few seconds he was silent. ‘Where are
you?’ he asked eventually.

‘I’m not sure. Somewhere at the end of the beach
road.’

‘I’ll find you.’ he said and hung up.

My lips were salty from the sea breeze, my skin
was hot from the sun and my limps felt numb. But it was the
invisible, profusely bleeding wound in my chest that hurt the most.
I stood up and leaned my back on the tree behind me, waiting for
him.

Christopher came very quickly. He pulled over
and opened the passenger door. I got in without a word.

‘Where do you want to go?’ he asked.

‘Nowhere.’ I said as I took off my sunglasses
and he saw my swollen eyes.

‘Have you been crying? Emma, what’s wrong?’ He
lifted my face with his hand under my chin. His voice sounded
worried and impatient.

‘Everything is wrong.’ I replied, freeing my
chin. I stared at the golden horizon that had just swallowed the
sun.

‘What do you mean everything?’

‘Let’s start with your name. Who are you? Why
are you here?’ The questions sounded like accusations and my voice
was cold, the expression on my face bitter.

He lay back in his seat, closing his eyes and
sighing deeply.

‘And…what do you know about my father’s death?’
I fired at him finally.

At this last question, his face became rigid and
I thought he had stopped breathing for a while. When he spoke
again, he sounded like a stranger.

‘Who told you that?’ His voice was cold,
distant. ‘Of course. Don!’ He shook his head and smiled bitterly.
Then he opened his eyes and looked at me. The grief that shaded
them made my heart ache.

‘How much you must hate me now.’ he whispered.
‘I knew we would come to this. I just hoped that I would be the one
to tell you.’

‘I just need answers Christopher. I want the
truth.’

He stared at me for a second, estimating my
limits of endurance.

‘Who are you Christopher?’
Ι
repeated, more aggressively this
time.

He stared at me for a long moment and then his
eyes sparkled with determination.

‘Would you believe me if I told you I’m …a
Crusader?’

His face was completely
expressionless.
I flinched back, startled, because
with what he had just said, he sounded like he was mocking me, like
another trick in order to get away with this.

‘Is this a joke?’ I asked him. My eyes slotted
and I kept staring at him in silence, as waves of anger were making
my chest swell, blocking my breath.

‘You wanted the truth. Can you handle the
truth?’ I wondered how brave I was at that moment. I suddenly felt
the strong urge to open the door and run away. But I knew that was
never going to happen.

‘I don’t understand.’ I muttered helplessly. I
was confused.

‘I will try to explain.’ he sighed. ‘This
morning you asked me about the tattoo on my arm. Do you remember
what I said?’

I nodded. ‘You said it signifies something
bad, something you don’t want
to remember.’

‘Exactly. This is a mark, a mark that signifies
I’m not a free man.’ He smiled bitterly, pulling back the sleeve of
his shirt to show me the tattoo. He looked at it, his face
contorted with disgust.

‘You see Emma, this signifies my slavery.’ His
voice revealed the pain the black pattern inflicted upon him, but I
was too angry to experience any compassion.

I shook my head. ‘I still don’t understand.’

He sighed and looked at me again. His piercing
eyes captured mine as he spoke, estimating my limits to every word
he said.

‘You will understand, but you
must put aside your scepticism and your disbelief. What I’m about
to tell you has been classified as Top Secret. You cannot repeat
any of this to anybody without putting your life and theirs in
danger. The same way Don
did today…the same way your
father did.’

‘My father?’ I stared at him, confused.

‘I told your father exactly what I’m about to
tell you, thirteen years ago.’

‘How can this be possible? You must have been a
boy back then.’

He gazed at the sea and I knew what he was going
to say was as hard for him as it was for me, because I could see
with some sick gloat I didn’t know I was capable of till then, how
it was making him suffer.

‘I think the best way to describe it, is
to ask you to think of the
world as something
that
…
has no end, the same
as time. This is your world, your time. I come from another world,
another time. Only, my world belongs… to the future.’

His words made me shiver with fear. I was still
confused and angry. But above all, I could not believe a word of
what he was saying.

‘Are you telling me stories Christopher?’ I
asked him abruptly.

‘It’s the truth Emma. I swear. Do you think you
can handle this?’ He looked tired and, somehow, older. I started to
believe there had to be some truth in his words.

‘Yes, I think so.’ I replied, determined to give
him a chance to defend himself. Trying to be patient was my only
option now.

‘I know it’s hard but… think of me as a
traveler. A traveler in time, that’s what I am. Only, I don’t
travel on my own free will, for pleasure or even for scientific
purposes as you’ve seen in science fiction films. Reality is much
more cruel. Wherever I go, they send me.’

‘They? Who are they?’ I asked, my eyes wide with
surprise.

‘They call themselves “The
League”. The League owns me. I’m their property. Me and many others
like me. They selected us carefully, trained us, and educated us.
We
should acquire all the qualifications needed; good
looks, strength, education, cruelty. We made up “The
Squad”.

I blinked, struggling to comprehend what he was
trying to say.

‘The Squad?’ I repeated.

‘It’s a kind of an army, only it operates
secretly, deviously. It is supposed to be protecting the League’s
interests, to protect my world, to retain the preservation of my
world. You see, mankind has come close to destruction many times,
more than you know of. Their world, and mine, has managed to
succeed in many areas. Preservation of the environment, peace,
economy, and welfare. But all these achievements have been the
outcome of the past, like this world and all the others that have
preceded it, as well as the many others that will follow. The
League has secured the future for mankind. Any alterations here
that may cause changes to their world are considered as threats,
possible dangers that must be eliminated.’

I tried to make sense of what he had just
said.
‘You mean that all these theories about time are
real? Alternate timelines and…parallel universes?

He nodded. He spoke in a calm voice in contrast
with my high-pitched tone.

‘All I’m saying is that there is some truth in
them. That’s all I’m allowed to reveal to you.’

‘And…This… League is some sort of… government of
your world then? And you belong to their army?’ I was trying to
understand, but I hated every part of it. I knew there was more to
this, and even worse.

‘In simplified words, yes.
Although you mustn’t confuse it to any of the numerous governments
that you know of. It’s the
only
government. My world
is
the
League itself.’
I stared at him, expecting him to
laugh, telling me all this was just a joke.

And then I felt brave enough to ask him the one
thing that had been torturing me all evening.

‘And how does this make you bad?’

‘Because they will stop at nothing. They would
kill just with the slightest possibility that someone might be a
problem in the future. And to do this, they used us, the Squad.’ I
shuddered, as I comprehended the meaning of his words.

‘That makes you …a killer then? Is
that what you’re trying to say?’

I felt
the slight sense of
numbing in my knees and I recognized the source
of it.
Fear had started to petrify me. He looked at me with sadness in his
beautiful eyes.

‘I’m not a killer Emma. Not any more. I’ve
changed, because of you, believe it or not.’

‘Of me?’ He gazed back to the dark sea, to the
small lights of the boats that had set sail for night fishing.

‘Two days before your father died, I had
met him. He was taking his usual afternoon walk in the park. I
approached him and told him exactly what I’ve just told you. My
orders were simple. Make him a “Confidant”; warn him to take the
secret to his grave. Of course he didn’t believe me at first. But
when I started recounting incidents of
his
life, things that no one else could have known,
he believed me. I had done my research on him, you see. This abated
his reservations. I told him I knew about Project-Em and the
dilemma that he was facing. I ordered him to drop it if he wanted
to save his life. I remember his exact words, I’ll never forget
them:
Sir, I am a scientist.
It is my nature and object of life to seek truth and knowledge and
bequeath this knowledge to subsequent researchers. Therefore, you
must understand I can’t stop my research. If this means I have to
die, then I’ll take death stoically as many others have done before
me. I only want to beg you to do me one
favor
.
You are a good man deep down, I can see this in
your eyes. Please, don’t let them harm my family. My little Emma,
she must have a future. Will you do this for me?