Glare Ice (20 page)

Claire tried to talk herself down. It didn’t help that as a deputy sheriff for the county she knew what trouble country kids could get up to. But Meg would be fine. Krista was a bright kid who

Meg had just started to hang around with. A bit frantic, but full of good energy.

Krista was a year older than Meg but their high school in the next town downriver, Pepin, Wisconsin, was so small—only 23 kids in Meg’s class—that it wasn’t unusual for them to make friends in another grade.

Halloween had fallen on a Friday this year. Since Meg was too old to go trick-or-treating, she had asked permission to go to a party and stay over at Krista’s. Krista had just passed her driver’s test. A big step forward in freedom for a kid in the country. Meg had just turned fifteen and was already bugging Rich to take her out to the farm fields and let her try driving.

After some thought, Claire had said yes, she could stay over at Krista’s. She knew the Jorgensons only slightly. They lived in Pepin and seemed like a fine family. Besides farming, Mr. Jorgenson worked in Wabasha at the hardware store, and Mrs. Jorgenson was a part-time clerk for the township.

Meg had been so excited as she put on her costume that afternoon, saying she wanted to look just like Winona, the Ojibwe maiden. “My skin is too pale. Do you think I should put on some darker make-up?”

Claire watched her daughter in the mirror. Meg’s hair was braided into a single plait down her back. The “costume” was an old brown shift of Claire’s with a beaded necklace that she had bought up north one summer. She had dug back in her closet and come up with an old pair of moccasins. “I think you look perfect.”

“Mom, you always say that.”

“You always do look perfect. Nearly always.”

“Not very sexy.”

“Indian maidens aren’t supposed to look sexy.”

Meg laughed. “No, I suppose not. But they probably didn’t wear bras.”

Claire shot her a look.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a bra on.”

Meg had developed into a lovely girl and her bra size was coming close to that of her mother’s.

“Who’s going to be at this party?” Claire asked. “The usual.” “Remind me.”

“Me and Krista. Curt and Kenny. You know, the gang from school.”

Claire knew all the kids Meg had mentioned and mostly she liked them. “What about Jared?”

Meg made a face. “I don’t think so. He’s been pretty weird lately. He’s sick a lot. I think he might have mono or something. You should see him. He looks like a scarecrow. His clothes hang on him.”

“That’s too bad.”

Then Krista had honked the horn.

Claire grabbed her red hunting jacket and handed it to her. “You need to take a jacket.”

Meg reluctantly took it and ran out the door. Hardly said goodbye. No kiss.

Lying in bed, Claire wondered how the Halloween party had been. She wondered if there was any drinking going on. She thought of what she had been doing at Meg’s age at those kinds of parties. That really gave her something to worry about. She remembered getting a hickey in the closet of some party and having to wear turtlenecks for at least a week.

Finally she gave up trying to get back to sleep. Her mind was traveling too fast. She rolled out of bed and moved quietly to the

bedroom door. She might as well go downstairs to read so she wouldn’t disturb Rich. His day started early enough as a farmer, feeding the pheasants and take care of the other animals.

Recently she was waking up in the night so often that she left a blanket on the couch to curl up in. She was reading
The Lovely Bones,
an odd fairy tale of a book, as much about murder as Cinderella is about a relationship. But reading a few pages about the young girl getting abducted just made her more jangly.

The house was quiet. Usually an animal would cry out or an owl would call long and low, but it was still tonight. Not even a train threaded the silence along Lake Pepin. She let the book rest on her chest and closed her eyes.

***

The phone rang and Claire was standing up before she was awake.

Meg?

She ran to the cordless sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

“Claire? I know it’s late.” Emily Jorgenson’s voice whispered. “Are they there? Are they at your house?”

“What do you mean, are they here?” Claire asked. She could hear Rich’s feet hit the floor upstairs.

“The girls.”

“They’re not at your place?”

“No, we’ve been waiting for them to come home. I gave them a midnight curfew. But they haven’t shown up yet.”

Claire didn’t want to be hearing this. “You don’t know where they are? Are they still at the party?”

“We went over to see some friends and when we got home, they weren’t here. I wasn’t worried because it was just a little after midnight. When they didn’t show by one o’clock, I called the Lunds. They said the party was over hours ago. Everyone had gone home.”

“Could their car have broken down?”

“We drove to the Lunds and back. No sign of them. I hated to call you, but I’m getting pretty worried.”

Rich clomped down the stairs in an old t-shirt and a pair of long johns. He sat at the bottom of the stairs and looked at her.

“Hold on.” Claire covered the speaker of the phone and filled Rich in, ending with, “Where do you think they might be?”

Rich shook his head. “Krista just got her license. They probably went for a joy ride.”

“I hope.” She turned back to the phone. “Could they just be out driving around?”

“I suppose. Let’s give them another half hour. If they don’t show, I’ll call you back.” When Claire agreed, Emily hung up.

Claire felt her bones stiffen. This was bad. Meg didn’t do things like this. She was almost too responsible. But it was hard to say what she might do if all the other kids she was with wanted to.

She turned to Rich. “Now what?”

“Take a deep breath.”

“Don’t do that to me,” Claire snapped. “Why did I let Meg go to this party and then stay over?”

“Because she’s a big girl.”

She stared at him, then let her breath out. “You’re right, Rich. I don’t want to be one of those mothers who’s afraid for their daughters to do anything, go anyplace. I don’t want to keep her locked up. But, tonight I wish she were upstairs in her own bed, safe and sound.”

Rich opened his arms and she walked into them. He kissed the top of her head and said, “Me too.”

***

“That’s it. She’s grounded.” Roger Jorgenson stood next to the kitchen window, staring out, watching for the car’s headlights to break the dark. Nothing.

“Roger, maybe there’s a good reason.”

“No good reason for not calling.”

“It would be easier for Krista to call if she had a cell phone.”

“She don’t need a cell phone. When I was a kid we weren’t even allowed to use the phone.” Emily just rolled her eyes.

“It’s that Curt kid.”

“I think he’s a nice boy.”

“You don’t know what boys that age are like.”

She looked at her husband. “I did. I haven’t forgotten.”

What Emily hated about how over-wrought Roger could get was his emotional state didn’t allow any room for her to be upset. She always had to be in control, the steady one. Inside, she was collapsing with worry over their daughter. Krista had turned into

even more of a wild child since her sixteenth birthday, almost as if her hormones had cranked up a notch.

Krista was what the parenting books called a “risk taker.” She loved to be thrilled, to be scared.

Emily had never been like that. She had never ridden on a motorcycle, never been on a Ferris wheel, could hardly stand to go out on a boat on the lake. She hated heights, was afraid of spiders and couldn’t even pick up a worm. So she had watched in astonishment as her oldest daughter had delighted in hanging by her knees from the top bars of the jungle gym, jumped out of the hay loft onto a thin mattress, and carried a garter snake around in her Halloween candy bag one year.

Emily tried to control her fears, tried not to let her children see how afraid she was—but sometimes it leaked out of her.

“Well, she’s certainly not driving the car again for a very long time.” Roger thumped the kitchen table for good measure.

Emily couldn’t stand it. What was he thinking? She could hear her voice had gone high and thin, but she said it anyway. “Roger, stop it. I just want her safe. I’d do anything to just have her here right now.”

***

A plume of gas hit him and Jared felt his face melting. He dropped the metal canister he was siphoning the ammonia into and put his hands to his face. All he felt was wet. His skin had turned to liquid. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t breath. He was dissolving.

Coughs racked his throat and his eyes cried and cried. The world spun in loops around him. Ride it out, he thought.

This had happened to him before. Damn ammonia was tricky stuff. Had to be careful. He hoped it wasn’t too bad this time. He couldn’t afford to go to the hospital. They would know what he had been doing. Hard to say you were fertilizing your fields at three in the morning.

Jared straightened up and walked away from the tank. He took deep breaths and tried to clear his head. Pulling his t-shirt up from his waist, he toweled off his face. His nose was running; his eyes were still watering, but he could see again. He was going to be all right.

He shouldn’t have tried to do this on his own, but Hitch had to go back to the trailer to get ready. They needed to make some more
glass.
The demand was increasing every day and he needed enough for himself. His demand was going up too. It always seemed to take a little more to get him where he wanted to go.

And he never got there. It was never like the first time. Now he needed meth just to get through the day, not to go crazy. It had become like oxygen, that necessary.

Jared looked across the field to the farmhouse. No lights on. Middle of the night and everyone was sleeping. He went back to the thousand-gallon fertilizer tank and resealed the hose to his canister, then started to fill it again.

He had dropped Hitch off at the trailer to get everything ready to cook up another batch. Jared had scouted out this tank yesterday. Since he knew the area, it was his job to get the ammonia. He had to be careful about it. Somebody told him the cops could arrest him just for having ammonia in his truck—in an improper container. A five-year felony, this guy said. Five years, that was more than a quarter of his life so far.

If he was careful, he could come back and get more ammonia from this same tank. The farmer might never know.

He had to watch what he was doing. The canister was full. Exercising great care, he got the top on without too much leaking out. He hoisted it to his hip and started to walk back to his truck.

His pants were falling down as he walked. None of his clothes fit anymore. He had lost about sixty pounds in the last six months. He had played football last year at the high school, but he didn’t even try out this fall. Hell, he barely went to school anymore. His mom had threatened to kick him out of the house. It didn’t matter. He was hardly ever home.

He jumped into the pickup truck and headed to the trailer Hitch was renting. His skin was starting to crawl. It felt like it was peeling off his face. Someday he’d wake up and he’d be so thin, he’d just walk out of his skin.

He didn’t feel like he existed anymore unless he had just gotten a hit. That seemed to be all he lived for.

Jared wondered what had happened to
Winona.
That’s what she had insisted on being called tonight, saying she was some kind of Indian maiden. It had felt a little weird to leave her out there at that rock, but she had a car.

Jared had always thought she was cute. He thought of driving back and checking on her, but he really needed to get the next batch made.

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