Guard (The Underground Book 3) (8 page)

She wiggled out of his grip and hauled herself to sitting next to him. “There’s the fact that I need you. I don’t want to ruin our friendship because I don’t think I can stay here alone right now.” She crossed her legs and fumbled with her fingers in her lap. “I’m not being fair at all. I know that. But you make me safe. My world’s upside down, and the only times I feel normal are when you’re close. It’s not rational.”

He stroked his hand down her arm and cupped her elbow. “Not everything has to be rational. It just is. There’s a chemistry between us, and you know it. I’ve done my best to keep my distance, let you clear your brain of all the drugs, give you time to put your head on straight.

“But it’s been almost three weeks. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t been attracted to you from the moment I saw you. I’ve tried to talk myself out of it, but every time I lose.”

She watched his face closely. He was dead serious. And his voice… Damn his voice. His Russian accent tingled down her spine every time he spoke. But right now… His hoarse deep timbre… God…

“You’re so gorgeous.” He touched her hair again. “I love these curls. I love your porcelain skin. I love the way you cross your feet under you nearly every time you sit anywhere. When you laugh, it lights up your face. When you cry, it burns in my chest.” He rubbed a hand between his pecs.

She stopped breathing. Was it possible he was as attracted to her as she was to him?

“If you don’t feel the same, just say so, and I won’t ever mention it again.”

Seconds ticked by again. She slowly lifted her gaze to his face, seeing the vulnerability there. The man laid all the cards down. Without hesitating another moment, she lurched forward and set her mouth on his. She intended to keep it simple, express her agreement with her lips, but that’s not how it went.

As soon as she felt his warm full soft lips, she angled to one side and pressed harder, deepening the kiss. She’d never in her life been this brazen.

But then again, a sexy Russian fighter had never slept for three weeks on her couch.

His lips were everything she imagined and more. Soft. Delicious. And Lord the man knew how to use them.

When she licked the seam between them to tease him with her tongue, her world flipped upside down.

Literally.

He grabbed her shoulders and switched positions with her so she was flat on her back and he hovered over her. Except he didn’t hover. Not at all.

He never broke the kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and devoured her, one hand cupping her face with fingers so broad they extended from the back of her head, over her cheek, and down her neck. His palm rested on her shoulder.

When she moaned into his mouth, he tossed one leg over hers, nudging her knees apart to situate his thigh between them.

She grabbed his forearm with one hand and cupped the back of his head with the other. Holy smokes. Her arousal shot through the roof. Brain cells leaked out onto the pillow. Every inhale filled her senses with more of him. Every swipe of her tongue filled her with his taste.

She molded her hands to his head and forearm, learning his feel. He was rock solid, and she loved it. She smoothed her hand down from his head to his neck and then his back. Every inch of him. Tight bundles of bulging muscles.

He eased his hand down from her face to her torso, spreading his fingers out until they stretched around to her back and down toward her belly. His thumb grazed the edge of her breast and made her arch into him.

He kept kissing her.

She never wanted him to stop.

A fire she hadn’t known existed lit inside her, warming her everywhere. She couldn’t stay still. She needed to move. Touch him everywhere. And she let her hands roam all over his back and down to his ass. So bold. The tight muscles of his butt made her even hotter.

Her nipples abraded against the cotton. She wiggled her hips as her pussy came alive as if it had been in hibernation just waiting for the right person to come along and bring it back to life. Wetness leaked into her panties and probably through to her PJs.

She lifted her hips involuntarily, craving the friction against his thigh.

He obliged by pushing his knee up higher and thrusting it against her sex.

Oh. God.

She couldn’t breathe. So much sensation all at once firing from everywhere. She grabbed his shoulders finally and pushed, trying to break the contact. Her body was on overload, every synapse firing at once. No room to think.

Mikhail broke the kiss when she shoved on his chest. His breathing was heavy and erratic. He set his forehead against hers as he caught his breath. His thumb stroked over the curve of her breast.

Suddenly she was self-conscious. This man was a god. His body was a vessel of perfection. She was a skinny redhead with nowhere close to the same level of experience as he clearly had.

After all, he’d managed to scramble her mind in seconds.

“Mikhail…” His name rolled off her tongue so easily. Like honey. And she licked her lips as soon as she spoke. They were swollen. Wet from his kiss.

“Stop squirming, baby. Please.” He closed his eyes, but his mouth curved into a grin.

She froze, not realizing she was still rubbing herself against his bare thigh. The man wore nothing but boxers. “Sorry.” The word came out as a squeak. What was wrong with her?

His eyes popped open. “Don’t be. God, never be sorry for the way you feel. Especially if it’s hot and needy. It’s just that you’re making it difficult for me to be a gentleman here.”

His thumb. God, that thumb. He was driving her mad stroking it across the swollen globe. Every time she breathed, her chest rose up into his thumb tighter.

She opened her mouth, though she didn’t have any idea how to respond. Her face heated. There would be red splotches everywhere, even down her chest and across her breasts. She’d never been able to control that reaction to embarrassment.

Mikhail set a finger on her lips. “Shh. I can see the arguments running around in your head. Stop. Just let yourself feel.”

“I don’t…” she muttered against his finger.

He pressed harder. “I know.”

Her belly did a flip flop. Exactly never in her life had she wanted a man as badly as she wanted this one. She longed for him to strip her clothes off and slide inside her.

Now.

But she wasn’t that kind of girl. She’d only known him a few weeks. It was way too soon to sleep with him. Wasn’t it?

Someone needed to give her body the memo.

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded, licking her lips. “A little too okay.”

He chuckled, his chest reverberating against hers. “There’s no such thing.”

“I beg to differ. I’m not the kind of person who gets carried away like that. Like this,” she amended.

He lifted an eyebrow. “You’re like a firecracker. What are you talking about?”

She shook her head. “Never. No. I mean, I’m not.”

His smile spread again. “Then I guess I’ll assume it’s me.”

“Yeah.” Her mouth fell open and her eyes went wide. “I mean, no. That didn’t come out right.” She should shut up.

“No, it’s not me? You react like this with every man?” he teased. He knew her, better than a regular person should. But then again, he’d been in her space for three weeks. It wasn’t a stretch.

“Of course not. No.”

He smiled again.

“I don’t…” What was she going to say? She pursed her lips together and shook her head to keep her thoughts to herself. He didn’t need to know her secrets. Not ever. Especially not now.

“You don’t what?” he prodded. Dammit.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” She needed him to get off her. He sucked the oxygen out of the room so she grew lightheaded. In a moment she was going to embarrass herself with either words or deeds. Probably both.

“You’re embarrassed. I’m not sure why. Please don’t be.” He didn’t give her an inch.

“Mikhail, this isn’t me. I don’t get all hot and bothered and out of control. Ever.”

He grinned for the tenth time. “You do now. And I like it.”

She blinked up at him. Her body was on fire. She could easily throw caution to the wind and let him fuck her senseless—because she had no doubt that’s what would happen. The man had a level of control she knew would extend to the bedroom. Power rolled off him.

From the moment she’d met him, he’d taken charge. He literally picked her up off the floor and carried her to safety without knowing a single thing about her. Hell, he didn’t even know if she was one of the good guys.

And he hadn’t left her side since.

She needed to pull her shit back together. He didn’t know the real her. It certainly wasn’t the scared, shaking, nervous woman she’d projected for the last few weeks.

She was not easily spooked. She’d spent her entire life in risky situations, from traveling the world with her parents to helping the underprivileged get the resources they needed to get back on their feet.

Never had she worried about traipsing around in the dark under the L making sure people had food and shelter.

Now?

Now she was afraid of her own shadow. And she hated it.

“You don’t know me.”

He tipped his head and looked at her quizzically. “How do you figure?”

“I’m strong and capable and never afraid.”
Or I was
.

“I’m sure you are. I can see it in your eyes. But it’s okay to slow down for a bit and catch your breath after what happened to you, you know.”

She shook her head. “I hate what’s happening to me. Detest it. I want to go back to the person I was before.”

“She’s still inside you, baby.” He eased his hand up to stroke the side of her face with his thumb. The man and his amazing thumbs… “I can see her. You’re going to get through this.”

“Am I?” She seemed to be hiding behind Mikhail, using him as a crutch. A shield from the rest of the world. And it was easy. He was enormous and scary and capable. He made her feel safe.

It would be so easy to sleep with him. Hell, it would be easy to keep him forever. But wasn’t she using him? She shuddered.

“Hey now.” He eased his body down alongside hers and turned her back into his front, wrapping his thick arms around her to cocoon her. “You’re okay,” he said into her hair. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“It’s tough not to. I want to go back to work. I
need
to. People are counting on me. My boss will get antsy soon.” That was probably a lie. Terrance had called her several times to make sure she was doing okay and tell her to take her time getting back to work. But the people… The homeless… She needed to get back out there.

He pulled her into his body tighter, as if that were possible. His warmth calmed her nerves. The intense arousal she’d felt moments ago eased. She still felt the desire, but with slightly less urgency behind it.

Deep breaths. Slow and easy.

Mikhail threaded his fingers with hers from the back of her hand. He held her arm against her chest between her breasts. “Try to sleep, Haley. You’re exhausted. You’ll feel better in the morning after a good night’s rest.”

“Isn’t it almost morning now?” she muttered.

“Do you need to be any place at a specific time?”

“No.”

“Then, no. It’s not almost morning. Sleep.” He kissed her neck, sending a chill down her body. “Sleep,” he repeated.

Mikhail stared down at the amazing woman sleeping next to him. It was almost ten in the morning. He had eased back a few inches to keep from smothering her, but he didn’t dare move more. The bedframe of the pull-out couch would squeak loudly and wake her up.

And she needed to sleep. He didn’t think she’d slept this many hours in a row since he’d met her.

Fear constantly ate at the corners of her consciousness, even when she was asleep. He hated that for her.

It wasn’t true that he didn’t know her. He could hear the passion in her voice every time she spoke to her boss. He’d watched her hover over her computer with her brow furrowed in concentration. She would sit at the kitchen table with one leg lifted, her foot planted on the seat, her knee against her cheek.

It was adorable.

Her gorgeous red curls made her crazy when they were loose and untamed by her hair dryer. She constantly tucked an errant lock behind her ear to no avail. It would spring back into her face almost instantly.

There was no doubt she was disconcerted with her fear, but it was understandable. A vile man snatched her off the street, kept her sedated, and drugged her with who knew what. That would instill fear in anyone.

When she buried herself in work, typing furiously, she would forget her surroundings. He’d learned to stay very still. But inevitably she would jerk her gaze his way, eyes wide for an instant until she remembered why there was a man in her space.

He was falling hard for this slender redhead. His heart had raced out of control when his lips met hers a few hours ago. It had been unexpected. Although he’d longed to reach out and haul her against him for days, he hadn’t wanted to take that risk.

She needed him. And he would stay for as long as necessary under whatever terms she preferred.

But that kiss… God. And her hot body squirming underneath him…

He understood she was generally strong and competent. It was obvious. But was that the authentic Haley?

He wasn’t sure. And the answer to that niggled in his mind several times a day.

Oh yeah. He wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted anything. But he was a dominant man. Controlling and demanding. He’d held back and bit his tongue several times in the past three weeks, when what he really wanted to do was order her to chill or sit or rest or sleep or take a hot shower to ease her tension or any number of things.

It was his nature. Maybe something about the way he was raised, or more likely the company he’d kept since arriving in the US had formed him into the man he was. All five of his friends were similar. Dominant.

What would she think if she knew who he really was?

What would she do if he topped her?

With each passing day, as he got to know her better, his suspicion increased that she would let him dominate her. Hell, she might even let him command her outside the bedroom.