Guardian (19 page)

I felt myself let out the breathe I held when she was already at the table.  She let me pull her chair out for her though she was already seated showing no anger for the way I acted on the range. 

  I agreed to teach her history of the court when she started the conversation and then laughed about stupid stuff to pass the time.  I felt better.

Leaving there we headed to the campfire and both knew that would lead to unanswered questions.  I laid there thinking of what all I could possibly say to her that could lead to a proposal.  The only conclusion I came too was that nothing could possibly be good enough to say to the woman I’ve loved for longer than she knew, just recently found out, and I’d never even dated. 
Hey Grace, wanna get married?
  Yeah, that would go well.

I raked my eyes up and down her body inviting her to join me, devouring her.

Can I tell her though? We’d willingly joked about it days ago when I told her she just
agreed to it forever
.  Now the pressure was on and I wanted to do it in my own time. Our time. When the time was right.  I had a feeling that something more was supposed to happen before we made that next step.

She terminated the space between us.  “We could use a trampoline right now.”

I laughed at my predictions.  I checked to see if she’d dozed off several times in the silence of just sharing space together.    “You know when I told you I’ve been around for a hundred years.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“I feel like I just starting living.  I’m starting to forget living before then.  Do you think that’s bad?”  I went out on a limb here.  We had to understand each other.  Know each other.

“No, I think that you just didn’t have anything to live for before then.” 

She knew me better than I thought.  “You’re right.”

“I feel the same way,” she said.

“Pike has lived two hundred years.  You have to feel sorry for him just a little.  He watched his father die right in front of his six year old eyes.  You’d be a little angry after that too, maybe.  When my mother became queen, his anger only grew.  When I was born, I am told, he tried to kill me several times in hopes of making Queen Lazyra step down. Can you understand a little of why Pike is the way he is?” 

She needed to know even if it sent my body into shut down mode at the thought of Pike winning.  Winning her.

“Yes!” she paused. “But that doesn’t make it right, only excusable in your eyes.  He still can make a conscious choice to have better manners.  Why are you telling me this?”

“The Fey are thousands of years old.  There have been more kings and queens than I can count.  Humans have always been oblivious to us, but drawn to us,” I paused seeing her head swish back to me, “they are easily jinxed.  The Nyms are only a couple of thousand years old.  They’ve multiplied like the dwarves and elves, but not in a completely peaceful way due to their latest wayward leader.  The elves keep to themselves pretty much, and the dwarves are underground.  So the Fey have been the main constraint in the queen’s eyes.  We don’t want to take their land, but my mother, the previous queen,” I smiled at saying that, “refused to ever talk with them.  She considered it going beneath herself.  I tried convincing her, but she’d never listen.  So Pike and I have held what little treaty efforts we could until the time was right.  And that’s where you come in.  The Nyms hold such animosity towards the Queen Lazyra, they’re not willing to talk to you unless you will be a less selfish queen in their eyes.  If Kinsler does agree to talk with us, he will still think that the ceremony will turn you dark and controlling.  He always has.   Even Pike thought so until you started changing his mind.  Kinsler’s own father exiled him from the Unseelie court and he brought himself to hate the courts forever.  Seelie or Unseelie?  He’ll have malice up his sleeve and think later about the consequences.  I’m scared, Grace, of what he might do.  There are some things I worry I can’t save you from.  Some things I haven’t saved you from.  And you need to hide your emotions better around Pike and everyone else.”

I knew what Kinsler was capable of.  And when she found out who he really was, she would explode.  I chose to put that off for the meeting.  I figured it might give us an edge if her anger matched his, but I hated hiding it.  What if Kinsler saw red first with her anger and didn’t give her half a chance?  She would be livid when she finds out.  I counted on her boiling point either affecting him or her compassion coming through.  Either one will probably give Kinsler what he’s looking for if he’s willing. 
If
he’s willing!

“You are Leven’s granddaughter.  Even he knew what you’d become.  He was the Firebearer for the summer court as well as an ambassador.  When he died, your mother didn’t accept it or her fate.  She was pregnant, living in the human world, and not willing to “sacrifice” you.  Her words!  We’ve not had one since.  She came to light the flames each year, but nothing more.  She is a great woman, mind you.  She was only protecting you.” I jolted up when I saw her tears, “Why are you crying?”

I hated tears.  Girls crying made me angry.  I couldn’t stand to see them cry, but seeing her made me want to pound the one who hurt even if that included a punk like myself.

“I’m okay,” she sobbed quietly, “I just can’t help but think you’ve kept this all inside for so long and weren’t able to tell anyone.  You’ve always listened to my dorky little problems all my life and all the while, you had REAL problems and they were about me?”

I hated myself for making her cry.  Anger surged through me worse hearing her downplay her life to me. 

“Grace, I’ve been alive for so long, but like I told you, I’ve only had to bottle up inside how I felt about you.  The Nyms are a necessary worry in my mind.  Acting as ambassador simply because my mother refuses to do her job is a minor detail compared to taking care of you.  Yes, I gave it the needed attention, and yes, I’ve taken care of business relations with Pike all these years, but you’re my only heartache.”

“Heartache?” Her voice strained not understanding.

I rolled her over to me, “You make my heart ache constantly between worrying about your safety, helping you become queen, escorting you to dangerous places, giving you thinking space to figure things out, being close enough to you that I don’t feel far away, and…wanting you so badly it hurts inside.”

She bit her bottom lip.  I could hardly control my urge to bite it back.  “The last few days have been as hard for me as well.  You can’t believe how hard it is to walk away from you.” I watched her bite the lip again.  I tried to hide the reaction to it, but it didn’t seem to work.  She seemed to be able to read my eyes like I’ve never heard or seen another do.  Maybe she’d already noticed the constant shadow of glow when she was near me.  She certainly noticed on the night I showed her my true identity.

“I know better than you think.  Sleep is optional lately.  You won’t get out of my head.”  She smiled as id shocked by her words.  I laughed.

“The Nyms will listen to you.  You are Leven’s granddaughter. And you’re kind, compassionate, unselfish, giving…”

“Okay, okay.  I get the idea.  You compliment me too much.  You’ll float my head.”  A confident Grace batted her eyes in my direction, but her cheeks were flaming red.  She was ever trying to be flirty and I couldn’t help but love that her mind was thinking thoughts like it for years.

“Never,” I moved my top and bottom teeth against each other ignoring my inner impulses to curse the offenders in the story I needed to relate.  “There is something else I don’t want to tell you, but feel like I should.  When I was protecting you all those years, there was one who is part of the Nyms that went to school with us.”  I searched her face and found her expressionless, a wrinkle pinched between her eyes as the only sign of discomfort. 

I clenched my teeth tighter hating that I was pouring my heart out to a girl.  What if she thought I was a wuss and left?  Left me for Pike.  I had to get the whole truth out and let her decide.  “Once, my “
radar
” was penetrated and he got to you.  Pike was there before I had time to react.”

She looked to me, “It was taken care of.  Pike saved you in time and I’ve lived with it since.”  She smiled saying it but her expression was too lukewarm, too unreadable.  “But that is all over and we are here now.”

I smiled wearily.  So I left out a few details. And Kinsler isn’t
part
of the Nyms, but guilty by association works for me. I told her right?  She was being patient.  “Your acceptance of all this is remarkably calming given most humans would run screaming.”

“You said yourself, I’m only half human.”

We both laughed.

I took Grace to the meeting room to better acquaint her with the dealings of the court.  She seemed to ease a little with me touching her shoulder and that certainly didn’t crush my spirits.  She mostly just listened.

She would know soon about the meeting that needed to happen with Kinsler.  It couldn’t be avoided anymore.

We left two days later. 

The hike reminded me of our interesting moment in the woods before.  Low and deep, my voice surged hoping for a little smile from her, “Keep your dagger hidden, ma’am, I wouldn’t want to restrain you.”   I raised an eyebrow loving her giggle.  It meant she was happy. 

We crossed the path that led to Pike’s camp, but Pike did not welcome us.  Surprise.

I let her think we decided together on who would come, but in all there were thirteen in our traveling party and it was preplanned.  At the end of the bridge, Pike waited,
all eyes on Grace
.  He did his standard knuckle crack of authority he always did when Grace was standing intimately close to me, therefore I did it on purpose to make him flinch.  I was greeted, she was not...yet.

   Pike held her gaze longer than I wished and looked her over without inhibition. I couldn’t tell if he saw her eyes or how he felt until he graciously
allowed
me to pick his brain.  He also didn’t hide how he let her see his reaction to her.  He told her, “No one would tell you no dressed like that.  I’m not sure you should have changed. I have to focus too.” 

I thought the same wishing now maybe I’d asked her to wear a sack to his meeting.  A very long, all-covering sack.

She smiled at him still holding his hand to the air.  No, her hand in his.  He made a show of kissing it slow and watching her face react all just for me of course.  Grace naturally blushed.   I burned inside, but resolved to shut my mouth and let it be. 

“It has everything to do with you,” he told her.  He was listening.  And not sharing.  Would I?  Share that is.  That’s a big damn NO!

“It appears that some changes happened since I saw you last, and if I may say so, wow doesn’t begin to cover it!” he looked her up and down again.

Come on already, man!

He looked at me acknowledging my chipper mood.

I stepped to block all of her from his ungrateful, perverted eyes, “We are thankful for your hospitality.  We would welcome some rest.” 

Pike sidestepped to be able to see her frame again, his eyes closing into slits.

She started to shake with nothing to cause it. I watched as I figured out too late that Pike had done something to her mind.  The same concealed anger that never left when Pike was around lately ignited a sick feeling I just didn’t get. 

“STOP!”  she grabbed her head with one hand and stepped sideways pushing hard against Pike’s chest with the other.  He didn’t budge. 
Man, he’s hard as a rock.
 

I heard her now.  Pike
allowed
me such a privilege. He was friggin’ quick on it too.

She was worried I would take down Pike at that point.  That’s a laugh, but a thought.  I felt Pike entangle her mind with,
Still a Seelie prince, Grace.  That’s an invitation.  Your tree boy hates that I can and he can’t.  I’ve got skills he can’t come close too. 

“STOP!” she said.  “And don’t call him that.”

My hands were around Pike’s neck before Grace’s scream left her throat. Pike was back against a jagged rock wall now and my fist rapped the air.  I felt both his fists cinch up and move sending a blur of color before me, followed by a large cracking sound. 

“Both of you stop.” 

She actually wedged between us wiggling and stopping, causing both of us to go dead still.  Grace had never done anything so stupid.  She pointed to Pike with her finger curving up to his nose, “You stop talking to me in my head. I don’t want to hear you.”  She turned her head to lash out at me echoing the same moves and yet showing me how fast her moves have improved, “You control your temper.  He only does it to make you react.  His words mean nothing but cruelty.  If he for one second, would stop and think about someone other than himself, perhaps he would find some happiness not riling me up, unite a friendly jocularity among us, or just plain good intentions that have to be hidden way down deep inside him.”  She laughed deep.  I couldn’t read it. 

“Loquacious!  Train that tongue of yours or those green eyes will only get you killed.  I could teach you a few things.  No talking involved.”  Pike said. 

You disgust her, dude.

You have no idea, but I can show you?
  Pike thought to her while smiling at me.  He showed her a created image of the two of them kissing. 

Didn’t happen man.

All at the same time, she frowned in frustration, Pike smiled like the devil, and I continued to pull the hair out of my head.

Pike nodded to her.  I screamed, “That’s enough.  We’re done.” 

There was way too much talking in the head going on with
my girl
.

She pulled me away from the scene and held her hands to my chest moving at super speed again.  She didn’t see her strength had grown.  She didn’t know that I needed space either.  She didn’t know what I wanted to do to Pike right then.  She calmed me though.  Her touch, her little sighs.  They do that. 

Pike kept a smirk the entire time we ate.  She dismissed herself to clean up leaving the two of us alone.  That might have been a mistake.  Here came his unwanted opinion. 

“She should have a choice.”

“Maybe.  She did at one time.  I was only her friend for years.”

“Yes.  A very close friend.”

“You know very well I obeyed the treaty.  You were in her mind more than I was with the way she looks at you.”

“Maybe, but you were the one on her mind.”

I smiled when I shouldn’t have.  “I’ve kept my promise.  She has the opportunity to see you fully now.  If she asks, I will let her go.  But don’t think I will willingly hand her over.  I will fight for her.”

“As will I.”

She had to have heard the last few words from Pike arriving back, but it wouldn’t have made any sense.  She sat down beside me and across from Pike, stone faced and uneasy. 

I saw Pike flip his head back to her after we’d talked awhile probably to tune into her thoughts!

When he jerked her direction again, I knew she was either talking just the way I wanted to him or she’d figured out how to do something else in her magically driven body that would piss him off enough to look murderous like he was.

Pike grabbed his hand like he was in pain and his other on his sword.  He pulled it out and moved to strike...at the air.

“What are you doing, man?” I asked incredulously up at Pike.  The invisible enemies were apparently swinging back.

Grace jumped to help, “Are you okay?”  She’d done this.  I was sure of it.

Pike let go and said, “Um, I think so.  What happened?  I was thinking about
my sword
and then...” 

What had she done?  I still played dumb.  Then...she giggled low and out of range for Pike to hear giving me confirmation. 

Without a sound, I scooped up her hand and took her to the waterfall.  There, I folded my arms over to unhinge her, but inside I was grinning like a dog with a bone. The little vixen. A very beautiful dangerous one.

“What did you do?” I demanded stepping closer, unfurling my arms to receive her. 

She giggled again and shifted her warm, floral scented body towards me, “I think I figured something out.”

“What?” I tried to look mad.

“I think I blocked Pike out of my mind.  But somehow, when I did, I kind of made him forget what I was thinking and planted in his brain what I wanted him to think...with pictures.”

As I feared.  “That could be very dangerous.  You’ll have to be very careful and choose mindfully.”  I pictured some of the worst scenarios.  “What if you make them think that they are a bird or duck or something?  That could be a disaster.”  I hopefully reminded her of when she did it unintentionally back in the high school library.  I couldn’t stop myself from what could really happen.  She could hypnotize and alter their mind at the same time. Phenomenal. I imagined her getting mad at me for something and BAM!  Between this and what she did to the Nym, we were hosed.

“Hmm!  I don’t think it will work on you.  You just confirmed that I can do this and will master it.  And Pike deserved what he got.  His pictures, I assure you, were way more graphic than mine.”

“I saw.  Perhaps I’m a little happy you did this, but it is still something you want tremendous control over before you start handing out mind controlled orders.” 

“And you can’t save me from this so you’re worried?”

“Ahh, my girl sees reason.  I am breaking through those brave Grace barriers a little.  Perhaps in time this girl of mine will let me do what is my pleasure in life—to guard her and make sure the world knows she is mine.”

“You can’t read my mind right now, right?”              

Why?  What was she thinking?  “You’re right, I don’t know what you were thinking, or rather not thinking.” I tried to laugh, “Be careful.  Don’t use it lightly.  And this is probably not the last thing that will happen either.   But I am curious, what made you think to use it.”

“Pike listens constantly.  I can just tell.  And now he’s talking to me in my head with pictures.  So I made my mind focus on his sword, and then his belt to get his attention, and then
Whamo!
  I slapped him with my mojo.” 

“Grace,” I watched her nervous chatter go on, but stopped her, “Be careful, it could backfire.  You’ll have to practice on ones you don’t have emotions built up with.  Hatred can hurt others in more than just one way.” 

She sulked, but said okay, rolled her dare me eyes and said, “Can I see the message now?” 

We both walked back to the table and read,

“
We will meet at water’s edge

at Pike’s domain

at midday.

Have treaty ready of what’s mine

or no meeting need be lended.”

How do we know it was Kinsler?

“Because I just know!”  Pike injected.

I turned with a jerk in unison with Grace.

“You again?  Quit reading my thoughts,” she snipped. 

“Why?  Got something to hide, Queen Grace.”

He cut out the link. I knew it the second he did it.

“I can show you hostile.  I can show you a few other nice things to if you let me.” He folded his arms suggesting something rude.

I reached for my dagger.  Pike stepped further back knowing I’d reached my limit.  

“I assure you, it’s Kinsler’s writing.  He doesn’t like to use scribes.  Prefers his carvings… secretive.”  Pike scrubbed his face with his hand agitated at having to mention Kinsler at all but using it to avoid me.  Only thing we agree on at the moment.  “You’ll have to speak clearly, forcefully, and guard your mind.”

“That last part’s not a problem.” I mumbled not wanting to give Pike any leverage, but he needed the heads up.

“Why is that?” Pike inquired carefully, suspiciously.

She stated her words one at a time making it look like she was just giving me attention, “I didn’t want him to know.”

I grabbed hers shoulders stronger than I realized, “And I don’t want you dead.”  Her eyes were like windows.  Sometimes I could read them without the thoughts. 

She left me to stand in front of him.  Pike raised his palms to face her stopping right in front of her face.  “Should I leave you two alone?” 

Yeah, dream on shi—

“No! Just hold still.”  She cut me off from finishing.

His mind was open and letting me in.  I forged in to hold it so he couldn’t let me out.  I had powers too, butthead. 

She pictured me kissing her for the first time after the ceremony night.  Add insult to injury, but okay. Pike knew what she could do now. I just think she could have done it a little more delicately.  What was I thinking?  Hell yeah!

“Now.”  Pike’s eyes followed to his sword like earlier, then diverted to his belt.  I didn’t particularly care that she’d focused so much on his attire. 

“Now?” Her self-satisfied demeanor spoke volumes. 

Pike was dazed and Grace was proud of her accomplishment. 

“What do you remember?” she asked with too much confidence.

Pike grabbed his head, “We were just talking, and then you were kissing.” He looked back and forth from Grace to me, his face showing disgust.  Sweet!

“Then I checked my sword and my belt,” Pike was mumbling to no one. 

“And that was just
fun
!” 

I said something hoping to diffuse the air around us, “A bit extreme, don’t you think?  Cruel even!” She didn’t apologize. This could get ugly fast. I felt sorry for Pike in so many ways and would never admit it. “No one was kissing.”  I knew why Pike acted the way he did with me.  And if the tables were turned, I’d be just the same.