Happy Hour (25 page)

Maybe the anti-depressants were working. After talking it over further
with the counselor, Jeremy’s pediatrician and Christian, they’d thought giving
it a go was a good idea. Kat was skeptic of the tack that Christian wanted to
take with Jeremy. Christian told her only two nights earlier that he planned to
start getting the kid up and busy. First she didn’t believe that he’d even take
a real interest. Then when he continued on with the banter of how a kid needs
to get going early, needs focus, needs something to accomplish, she felt like
he was jabbing at her as if she didn’t push the boys hard enough. Christian’s
ideas were always fairly good and his heart was in the right place, but the way
he implemented things sometimes came across harsh to Kat, who had grown up in a
pretty gentle, peaceful environment. Christian’s idea of waking a kid up
typically meant a shake of the shoulder and the words, “Get up, get going. Make
something of yourself.” The response this typically got from the boys was major
complaining.

But this morning, Jer looked content and far be it for Kat to rock this
boat.

“Nanny V, what is a punk rocker?” Amber asked again.

“Yeah and who were you?” Jeremy asked.

“Have you ever heard of Sid and Nancy?” Her mom smiled devilishly and
winked at Kat, who shook her head.

Christian raised an eyebrow.

“No,” both kids replied.

Kat whispered in Christian’s ear, “Am I dreaming this?”

“Nope, and everything is almost ready.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek
and pat on her butt.

“Too bad Brian isn’t here,” she said.

“Why would he be here with us where you actually have to try and
participate in a family, when he could be with Disneyland Dad and get whatever
he wants, whenever he wants it?”

“Chris…”

“It’s true and you know it.” He put the French toast under the broiler to
caramelize the Grand Marnier.

“See, Nancy had this horrible addiction to…”

“Okay, Mom. Amber is six. I don’t think she needs a history lesson on Sid
and Nancy.”

“I want one though,” Jeremy said.

“We’ll rent the movie,” Christian said.

“Seriously? There’s a movie?” Jeremy dumped the chopped tomatoes into the
pan.

“Sure. You and me tomorrow night when your mom is out with her friends.
Whose house is your little soiree at this time?”

“Jamie’s.”

“I’d like to go,” her mother chimed in.

“No you wouldn’t. I mean, we just get together and talk about our kids
and stuff. I think you’d have more fun here having movie night.”

“No, I wouldn’t. I want to meet your friends. I’ll plan it. I’ll even
make a tofu dish to bring.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I insist.”

“Okay. Great.” How was she going to convince her mom to stay home?

“Mom, Christian said that I could come work with him at the restaurant
and make some cash,” Jeremy said.

“Really?” She glanced at her husband, now whisking eggs for the omelets.

“Sure. I could always use a dishwasher.”

“Wait, you said that I could also chop and dice and stuff,” Jeremy said.

“I did and, yes, you can. I’m teasing, Jer. But you might have to wash a
dish or two.”

“That’s cool.”

Was this really her family? Kat looked around the room: Christian and
Jeremy getting along like two peas in a pod and Amber calling her Mommy Kat.
Her mother was still as nutty as ever, but maybe she could deal with it for one
happy hour with her friends. It could turn out to be entertaining. If only
Brian hadn’t chosen to spend the night at the Sperm Donor’s, they’d all be
here. Well, there was also Dad. She’d avoided talking to him about Venus, but
he knew she was here because her sister Tammy had told him. She’d see if they
could have dinner together in the coming week, to make sure he was okay and
that the simple idea of her mother’s mere presence in town hadn’t shaken him.

They sat down to eat and everything looked as good as it smelled.

Her mother toasted them. “To my beautiful family. May you honor the light
from within.”

“Here, here,” Christian said, holding up his orange juice. “To the light
within.”

Oh, brother.
Kat looked at Christian, who winked at her and
nodded. “Absolutely. Lights ablazing all from right here.”  She pointed to her
heart. “Right from within.”

***

The heated yoga class about killed Kat. She sweated out at least two
gallons of water and wanted to puke twenty minutes into it, then grew dizzy in
between downward dog and upward dog for the fifteenth thousand time. And this
was supposed to ease the mind and take away stress? Sure, it’d take away the
stress all right because if you made it out alive, your ass would be so kicked
that you’d have no choice but to go back to bed and sleep for at least a full
day. Kat was not afforded that luxury. One thing the grueling hour and a half
of yoga did do was to take her mind off of Amber’s departure with Emily. She’d
left after breakfast and it nearly tore Kat’s heart out when Amber said to her
mom, “I don’t want to go. I want to stay with Mama Kat and Daddy.”

“You’ll be back. Now say goodbye.” Emily tugged on her hand.

Christian intervened and scooped Amber up into a piggyback. “Now you go
and have fun in the city with your mom and Baron. Kat and I have to work
tonight anyway, but we’ll come and pick you up on Tuesday.”

Amber pouted. “I wanna stay here and swim with Jeremy and play with Nanny
V.”

“She’s swimming?” Emily asked.

“Quite well,” Kat replied. She rubbed Amber’s leg. “Now, honey, you go
and have lots of fun with your mom like Daddy says. We’ll see you in a couple
of days.”

Amber nodded as tears slid down her face. Kat had to go back into the
house while Christian buckled Amber into the backseat of the car. It was only
three days, but she didn’t know if she could make it either. How come Emily had
all the control? She’d been the one who’d made up all the rules in this game,
pulled all the heartstrings. Selfish, conniving…

Oh, yeah, but that yoga, that took the anger right out of Kat and filled
her up with sore everything and total exhaustion, and she had an entire evening
of work to look forward to.

After showering at the yoga studio and putting on a little makeup, her
mom, looking chipper and practically glowing, hooked her arm in Kat’s. “Wasn’t
that fun?”

“Terrific.”

“Good. I’m happy you enjoyed it because I bought you a membership.”

“You did what? Now why would you do that?” Kat unraveled her arm from her
mom’s.

“Because you need some stress relief. Look at you.”

“What’s wrong with me? And how do you figure sweating the piss out of me
releases stress? I’ll have to drink six gallons of water just to make it
through the day.”

“Yes, you will. Maybe not six, but water is what cleanses us inside and
out, keeps us clean, pure, and in touch with the earth and all of its glorious
gifts.”

“Bullshit.”

Her mom looked at her like a wounded puppy. “It is not. I don’t
understand you, Kitty. You are so negative. You have beautiful children, a
husband who adores you, a successful business, good friends, and all you do is
complain.”

They reached the Jeep and got in. Kat didn’t comment for a minute. She
didn’t want to comment because she knew the truth and the truth just happened
to be that it was her mother who was her problem. “Mom, I’m sorry. I feel a bit
edgy about Amber leaving with Emily, and the yoga was tiring, so I didn’t mean
to take it out on you.” Kat swallowed hard, deciding to go back to her old
adage of maintaining the balance, not rocking the boat, keep everyone happy so
no one gets hurt.

“I understand, Kitty. It’s fine. I’m excited for you to start regular
yoga classes. We can go every morning while I’m here. That will give you a good
start. And they say it takes twenty-eight days for a person to form a new
habit. We’ll have lots of time together and you’ll form wonderful new habits.
Now for the surprise. We are going to The Grapevine Meditation Center to align
our chakras. You will feel amazing afterwards and all your energy channels will
be flowing and connecting! This is so great, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Mom. It’s great.” Kat bit her tongue and followed her mother’s
directions to The Grapevine Meditation Center
,
working to maintain her
focus on the light from within.

Jamie sat at her outdoor table with her friends, trying hard to pay
attention, but her mind was elsewhere.

Danielle laughed at something Kat said about her sons.

“They’re charming boys, Kitty. You were no sweetheart when you were a
teenager either,” Venus said. She’d joined them for the evening and Jamie found
it was nice. Their conversations tended to stay lighter and easier with their
guest there. She knew that a lot had happened in Alyssa’s life over the past
week. She knew that Alyssa hadn’t been a bone marrow match for Ian, but she
didn’t know what the next step was. They hadn’t had an opportunity to discuss
it.

“Teenagers and grown children. That’s a party all in itself,” Danielle
said, her voice tinged in sarcasm. “You can set up all the boundaries you want
and all the rules. In fact you have to. I get that and I agree with it, but let
me tell you something.” Danielle trained her eyes on Jamie. “Take Maddie. She’s
what, nine now?”

Jamie nodded. “Almost ten.”

“Right and she’s a sweet kid, isn’t she? Loves her mom.”

“She’s great. Sure, she has an occasional meltdown, but so far so good.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet, sister. So Maddie throws a little tantrum
now and again. Danielle looked at Kat. “Remember when it was all oohs and ahs
and that little baby, then toddler, then young child was all cute and cuddly
and sweet?”

“Ah yes, those were the days.” Kat laughed.

“Right. I hate to say it but those days are rapidly racing to a halt, J.
Before you know it they’ll be long gone. The next thing you know, you’ll be
dealing with surly attitudes and a vocabulary that consists mainly of grunts
and an occasional
whatever
. Then, and this is when you’ll find yourself
drinking not just one glass of wine at the end of the day. You know a little
stress release. Oh no. One won’t do it. You’ll need two or three when the kid
starts sneaking out and lying to you and possibly piercing her belly button or
trying to get a tattoo of a hummingbird on her boob, or getting on the pill, or
getting knocked up.”

Everyone glanced at each other. Alyssa mouthed the word
hummingbird
to Kat who shrugged and shook her head.

Danielle continued on her tirade. “And while you’re on your third glass
of wine at night, you’ll begin having cryptic, pathological thoughts wondering if
that sweet child of yours taking up two hundred fifty square feet of your home
is really the spawn of Satan.” She shook her head and took a full gulp of wine,
setting it down hard on the table.

“I’m telling you right now, it sucks to be a parent of a teenager. And
word to the wise, be sure you have your hairdresser appointment booked every
four weeks, because that’s how often you’ll be going in to cover up those
grays. I believe the years from thirteen to eighteen sprout gray hairs on
mothers as if the hormones being emitted from the little demons are like bags
of fertilizer attracted directly to the roots of your hair. And, I don’t even
want to give you a heads-up on what those five years do to your face.” She
touched the side of her eyes. “Crow’s feet right here. Popping up like crevices
in the fucking Sahara desert. I’m even considering Botox. Never thought I’d say
that.” Danielle picked up the wine again and finished it, then reached across
the table and poured herself another glass.

“You’re scaring me,” Jamie said. “And, hon, maybe you should have some
water or some coffee.”

“No. Wine is good. Being buzzed, drunk, numb, whatever is good for now.
Thank you very much.”

“I’ll drive you home tonight,” Alyssa said and Danielle nodded.

“Danielle is right, J.” Kat smiled. “You should be afraid. Be very, very
afraid, of little demon spawn, right, Mom? I think you can relate with me and
Tammy.”

“Of course not. Face it all head-on. It’s a wonderful, divine challenge.
Living at the ashram has taught me that communication is so important. You must
have that with your children. For instance, no one likes to talk about sex any
more, as if it’s a bad thing. Sex is a wonderful thing.” Venus reached for the
platter of salmon and put another piece on her plate.

“Mom, no. Not sex. We don’t want to talk about sex.”

“I don’t understand why you’re all so squeamish talking about sex.” Venus
set down her wine.

“Mom?” Kat implored.

“What? You must realize, darling, that I have had a lot of sex. I had you
and your sister. You don’t think that is the only sex I ever had, do you?”

Danielle laughed, Jamie smiled, and Alyssa shook her head.

“Yes, mother, but you are my mom. Can we not discuss your sex life?”

“You’re such a prude and it’s obvious you’re not getting enough of it
yourself.”

Kat’s jaw dropped. “Jesus, Mom.”

“I’m serious. You’re always uptight, snapping at Christian. The man
adores you. The two of you need to be getting it on a lot more. I even heard on
Oprah
that Dr. Oz says that orgasms extend your life span and keep your
stress levels way down.”

“I don’t watch Oprah,” Kat said, pouring herself some more wine.

“That’s obvious. You really should. You don’t need more wine, honey, you
need a lot more nooky. It’ll help you burn some of those extra pounds in the
hip area.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ruth. And how the hell do you suppose I make that happen?
There are three kids in the house, and then there’s you, in and out all the
time. We have no privacy.”

“Lock your bedroom door.”