HARDER (18 page)

T
he labor was easier
than with Lucy but it still was no picnic.

I wasn’t in full labor by the time we screeched to a halt in front of the hospital and Caleb leapt out, grabbed my suitcase and rushed inside, leaving the car running.

I smiled and struggled against a contraction and waited for him to figure out what was going on.

Sure enough, a few moments later he walked back slowly with a sheepish grin on his face.

“I’m sorry, babe,” he said and opened my door for me. “It’s just that…we’re having a baby!”

“I know, I’m the one in labor,” I laughed and let him walk me into the admissions area.

We had already registered the week before so we were whisked to the birthing suite and settled in by a light-hearted nurse with a Texan accent and frizzy red hair.

The doctor checked on me and after that it all became a blur of contractions and Caleb’s voice encouraging me and telling me how beautiful I was.

I might have bitten him at one point when the pain got to be too great, but I couldn’t be sure. I vaguely remembered him pulling his arm away and everybody chuckling at me.

It was worth it once they put my little boy in my arms.

Everybody had been right by the way, we had a gorgeous little boy with his daddy’s big bright eyes and high cheekbones. Caleb insisted he looked like me, but I didn’t see it.

Lucy and Mom stopped by first thing in the morning and any concern I’d had over Lucy’s reaction was erased the moment she picked her little brother up.

“He’s so beautiful,” she said in awe and cradled him carefully. “What’s his name?”

“Well we didn’t know,” I replied. “We wanted to get your opinion.”

Caleb smiled at them and said, “Do you like Colton or Dylan?”

“What about David, after Grandpa?” she asked and my heart broke a little knowing my dad would never meet his grandson.

“David will be his middle name, sweetie,” I told her.

“I like Colton then,” she announced and kissed her little brother’s forehead. “When you’re bigger I’m going to teach you how to ride a pony.”

“Can I hold him now?” Mom asked. “I never got to hold you as a baby.”

Lucy handed Colt over to my mom and I looked at each one of my family in turn and felt the love.

“So when’s the next one?” Lucy piped up and we all laughed.

“Not for a long time, if ever,” I groaned and shifted on the bed. I didn’t know if my body would feel like it was normal ever again.

Caleb looked at me with a knowing, heated gaze. I blushed because I could read his thoughts from here…he wouldn’t mind a couple more kids, but he would like making them even more.

The doctor had said no sex for thirty days and I wondered how Caleb would handle it. After giving birth I was totally on board with it…but still, he did look mighty fine whenever he held Colton in his arms.

There was nothing quite like having the father of your children be as completely in love with them as you were.

It made me feel complete and safe and grounded firmly on the earth where I wanted to be.

With them…my family.

“
L
ucy
, lunch is ready!” I called out and balanced Colt on my hip. He was almost a year and growing like a weed. He tugged at my earring and I laughed and tilted my head away.

“Is it mac n cheese?” she yelled as she came barreling into the kitchen.

“It is, your favorite. You need to thank Kate for making your favorite meal whenever you ask for it, little miss.”

“Thanks Kate!” Lucy said to our cook and sat at the table to eat.

“Did you wash your hands?” Kate asked with a stern look.

“Yes ma’am,” Lucy said with a bright grin and held them up.

“Good girl, here’s your lunch,” Kate replied and served Lucy her meal.

Moments like this were little slices of perfection to me. We had been through some things, Caleb and I, but we were through the worst that life had to offer and our reward was well worth it.

We hadn’t heard anything from Rolland, David had finally proposed to his girlfriend, Mom was dating a nice guy from town and Addy was huge with her and Gary’s first baby. We were still looking for Caleb’s mother and I was sure we’d find her eventually. She’d fled Caleb’s father’s wrath like I’d fled Rolland’s, but she hadn’t taken Caleb with her. That was something they’d have to work out if we ever did get in touch with her.

Caleb was due home from work for lunch, I still wasn’t entirely sure what he did at the company and I wasn’t really that interested. I knew he still popped over to his Dad’s house once a month or so too, so he might be late if this was the day.

I didn’t want to keep him from seeing the old man, but I didn’t want the old man in our lives. Keeping him away but paying for all his costs was a nice way for me to handle things. I still felt bad for Caleb though, being beholden to the old bastard, but he had to work that out on his own it seemed.

I was enrolled for the next semester at our local college. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life so I’d signed up for a bunch of different courses. I decided to try them all out and see what fit.

Maybe I would end up being content with my role as wife and mother, or maybe I’d want something more. Who really knew what the future held, but the important thing was that I had a choice. Caleb had given me that freedom.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Caleb asked from behind me. He came home for lunch most days.

“I don’t even know if they’re worth a penny,” I laughed and handed him Colt. “This little guy has been missing his Daddy.”

Colt responded by kicking his legs and yelling, “Da!”

Caleb put him down and we watched him toddle over to the table and tug at Kate’s apron. She smiled and helped him into his high chair and Caleb took a seat next to him.

Slipping back into my deep thoughts, I had to watch my husband and children and really feel the love.

I wasn’t always this self reflective, but right then I felt my blessings as though they were a physical presence in my life. I missed my dad, I regretted the time I’d wasted with Rolland, but in the end it had all worked out.

Not that this was the end…when I looked at my loves, I knew this was only the start of a great, huge, magnificent journey. And I would go anywhere with them, if only to be next to them for as long as possible.

“Come sit, eat,” Caleb said and reached out for my hand. I took his and felt it wrap around mine, pulling me towards him. I landed on his lap and he wrapped his arms around me, nuzzled my arm and said, “I love you, babe.”

“I love you too, Caleb Harder,” I replied and closed my eyes to let the love flow over me, it was too great to contain in my mortal heart so I let it grow and fill me with pure bliss.

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