Heart in the Field (5 page)

           
“No. I just thought about it last
night and came up with how I would like the show to feel.”

           
I
would like.

           
“How about my view
on this?”

           
“You’ve given me your view in your
idea about a woman who loved a murderer.
Very dark, very
heavy.
It’s excellent.”

           
Even if he’d taken his time before
telling her of his reaction, Serena couldn’t stop the flush of pleasure from
heating her face. “Thank you.”

           
For a second he didn’t say anything,
just stared at her flushed features, then he smiled. “You don’t need my
approval. You know you’re good, don’t you?”

           
“I don’t know. I haven’t done a show
like this before. And I don’t think I have as much confidence as you do.”

           
“I’m not confident. I haven’t done
anything like this before either. But fear helps us do it better. Don’t you
agree?”

           
Nick admitting that he was
frightened made him more human and kept him down at
her own
level. “Yes.
Probably.”

           
“Believe me. It does. So we’ll meet
on Monday to give Don our ideas on the first few programs. Is that okay?”

           
“Sounds fine to
me.”
At least Nick didn’t waste time. Serena liked that. John had been
so laid back, full of too many maybes. Nick was positive, and the energy was
there in every word and action. She’d just need to keep herself aware of what
was going on around her.

           
Nick stood up and stuffed his hands
into the back pockets of his jeans. “Do you want to take off?”

           
His abrupt departure from the
subject stunned her. “What do you mean?”

           
“We don’t have to meet Don until
tomorrow for the commercial. Why don’t we go out for a while? Clear our minds.”

           
“We’re supposed to be having a
meeting, Nick.”

           
“We’ll continue our meeting
somewhere else.”

           
“Why? All we need to know is what’s
going to happen next Thursday evening when we’re on air.”

           
“We discussed it. We’ll take the
team out on Monday and do whatever. Hit the streets, turn up the volume on some
loud alternative music group and pitch our wares to everyone.”

           
Serena laughed. “Sounds like fun
news. Not your style?”

           
“It won’t be fun news. But the draw
into the program will feel like fun. It’ll be hard work, so let’s take a break
today.”

           
“No, Nick. I can’t. We have to work
together, not take off together.”

           
“We’ll need to eat lunch.”

           
That was true. Serena didn’t know
what to do. She didn’t want to go to another restaurant and sit opposite him
and wonder what to say to a man she felt so uptight with. Walking in the fresh
air with him might be okay, she supposed. She couldn’t dismiss him when they
had so much left to discuss between them about the show.

           
“All right,” she said, and tugged
her rain jacket from the hook.

•

           
The rain had stopped, the air
clean-smelling, unlike other more squalid cities Nick had been in over the past
few years. Did he really prefer ducking snipers to being home? Or was he
getting old enough to appreciate home? Would he actually have made this change
to his life if he hadn’t distantly yearned for it? Of course he still had his
parents to visit. They were the main reason he was home in the first place. So
far he’d put his job before them, but later he’d have to face the music.

           
“You’re a restless type, aren’t
you?” Serena said.

           
He glanced at her. Her features were
like the landscape after rain. Clear.
Sparkling.
Yet
there were depths in her that hinted of her father. Nick thought she was pretty
lucky to have a father as prestigious as Redding Brown, even though she didn’t
seem to think so. She hadn’t mentioned a word about him. Nick wasn’t going to
mention a word either. He found it quite a fascinating little game to see how
long she would hold out, and how the facts would eventually present themselves
when she finally did let him know. He eased his fists into his jacket pockets.
“Yes. I’m the restless type. I’m also the hungry type. I denied myself the
monster squishy donut that came with that coffee on a special this morning.”

           
“I ate a good breakfast.
Grapefruit, a boiled egg and toast.”

           
“My, aren’t we the picture of
health. All I had was some dried-up cereal as I haven’t had a chance to get any
groceries in yet. And my instant coffee is down to sort of a lump of brown
stuff.”

           
She chuckled.
“Poor
you.
You should have given yourself a couple of days to get adjusted
back home. You didn’t have to fortify yourself with coffee and meet me this
morning.”

           
“Oh, yes I did. We’re in a bind.
Remember?”

           
“How could I forget? But don’t worry
too much, Nick. I’ve been at Steel for nearly six years. I have learned to wing
it so Don doesn’t even notice.”

           
“I know how to wing it. But you’ll
have to teach me how to hide the gaffs from Don.”

           
“Just watch me.”

           
Oh, he would. He knew then he
couldn’t sit in a public restaurant with her. He just wanted to be completely
alone with her. “How about we pick up some groceries and eat lunch at my place?
I don’t feel like a restaurant.
Probably because I’ve been on
the road a lot lately.”

           
“Okay,” she said. “I should know
where you live, I guess.”

           
“Absolutely.”
He led the way to his home.

Chapter Four

Serena had
expected Nick’s apartment to be no more than a sterile place for Nick to hang
his hat if he ever got home to Toronto
during his time in the field. Instead, the street was up-scale residential,
with lots of big trees and flower gardens. His apartment, he told her, urging
her with a hand on her shoulder to look upwards, was the penthouse perched
above an ancient, well-preserved six story brick block. “But first we’ll go to
the store,” he said.

           
On the corner was a variety store
that catered to people like Nick, who purchased his needs on the spur of the
moment. There was even an in-store bakery.

           
Nick gathered four pots of
chrysanthemums from the display tumbling across the sidewalk and added them to
a crusty loaf of olive bread, cheese, eggs, milk, fruit and plenty of packages
of coffee.

           
Carrying the bags of food and the
flowers, they rode the elevator together. When Nick smiled at her Serena felt
his smile move through her body in a rather sensual way and wondered if she’d
been wise to come here with him. Not that she expected him to pounce on her.
However, she was very attracted. If he did make a move she might succumb.

           
There was only one door in the sixth
floor hallway. Balancing the groceries and flowers in one arm, Nick inserted
the key and pushed the door open with his back.

           
“Go in.”

           
She walked in first and liked what
she saw at once. A spacious room with a high ceiling and wood flooring
displayed Nick’s sleekly designed furniture. He closed the front door and led
the way to a black and silver kitchen. They stood the groceries and the flowers
on a small round table.

           
“There are some pots outside on the
roof garden where we can plant the flowers,” he said.

           
Serena thought they should keep this
time together light. “So that’s why you invited me here. You wanted me to be
your gardener.”

           
“Ah.” He beckoned her to the living
room, where he began unbolting a single glass door. He opened the door. “Come
and see the view.”

           
She passed him in the narrow
doorway. But as soon as her body brushed his, she felt a pounding in her chest.
Nick’s hand touched her hip to urge her forward and she almost stumbled onto
the roof garden. She walked to the iron railing and made herself stare at the
view. Some taller buildings obscured Lake
Ontario, although she
glimpsed a patch of water between the walls.

           
Nick came to stand beside her. “I’ve
lost some of my view.”

           
She glanced down to the street.
“It’s still neat.”

           
“Yeah.
I
forgot how much I liked it.” He turned his head slightly and she was forced to
face him.

           
“Do you want some lunch?”

           
She had to stop herself from moving
to make their arms touch. “Sure. That bread looked delicious.”

           
He left her to fetch the meal. The
sun was shining and pouring a lot of heat down on the roof. Serena removed her
jacket and hung it over one of the green iron chairs. She wondered if she
should go in to help Nick.
Maybe not.
She might not be
able to bear being that close to him in the kitchen. She tucked her arms along
the top of the railing and looked at the view once more. Sex-starved her
girlfriend Rita often said she felt, when the attractive redhead found a man
she wanted. Serena had always felt she was above such crude sentiments. But
right now she felt sex-starved. She wanted Nick with a lusty intensity.

           
Nick returned.
This
time without his jacket and carrying a tray.
He put the tray down on the
iron table and looked at her. “I have one bottle of beer. Do you want to share
it? I’m not even sure how old it is. I could put on coffee if you’d rather.”

           
He seemed bigger out here on the
roof. Maybe she hadn’t realized before how well-proportioned his body was. He
wore his jeans and shirt with such easiness. And his hair was sleek like a
raven’s wing in the sunshine.

           
“Beer is fine,” she said.

           
They sat down on the chairs opposite
one another. Nick had placed bread, cheese, grapes and slices of apple on each
plate. He poured the beer into the two glasses.

           
He lifted his glass. “Cheers.”

           
Serena lifted her glass. “Cheers.”

           
Nick began tucking into his food, so
Serena did the same. They didn’t say much, but they looked at one another
often. Occasionally they would smile across the table. On the street below
sometimes a horn would honk or voices would be heard.

           
“Aren’t we supposed to be discussing
the show?” Serena asked.

           
Nick laughed. “Yeah, I suppose, but
the sun is making me kind of sleepy.”

           
“You must be feeling the time
change?”

           
“I must be.”

           
He looked lazy and handsome,
sprawled in his chair and holding the glass with the remains of his beer.
Serena pushed aside her plate. “What about your flowers? Are you going to put
them in those pots?”

           
“Yes. Do you want to help?”

           
“Of course.
I love gardening.”

           
It didn’t take them long to plant
the flowers in the big clay pots. The floral display made the roof garden look
bright and inviting. Serena washed her hands at the kitchen sink while Nick
went through the refrigerator contents. She used a piece of paper towel to dry
her fingers.

           
“I definitely need some more beer,”
Nick said. “I’m going to run out and get some. Okay?”

           
“I don’t need any more. I think I
should go now.”

           
He closed the fridge door. “You’re
rushing off. That’s no way to establish a friendship.”

           
She crumpled the towel she’d dried
her hands on and disposed of it in a corner wastebasket. “We will, in time.”

           
“Why not start today?”

           
She wondered then if he was talking
about plain friendship or something more. So what if they did make love? Would
it cool her attraction for him? Or would she want more? Would she become like
her mother with her father?
Reeva
used to pace the
floor waiting for her husband to appear, and when he did they were in bed as
soon as they could put Serena down for the night. Serena used to hear them. She
couldn’t bear to be a woman with such basic needs and wants. She couldn’t live
that way.

           
She glanced through the kitchen
window. This view was completely obliterated by another building, with concrete
walls and many windows glinting in the fresh sunlight. “We can’t.”

           
“Can’t what?”

           
She turned around and knew she was
looking at a man with similar traits to her father.
A man who
reveled in war and disaster.
A man who could love a woman one night and
then walk away with the same coldness he displayed in his work.
“Can’t be too good of friends.”

           
“I don’t get that.
Why not?”

           
“Because we have
to work together.
Don’t we? So we have to be friends with conditions
attached.”

           
“What kind of conditions?”

           
“We have to retain a distance.”

           
“Are you telling me not to make a
pass at you?”

           
Had he guessed how she felt and what
she was really saying? “No. I’m not even thinking that.”
Liar.
“What I mean is that if we get too close, too friendly,
then if we have a disagreement over work we might not be able to keep the
discussion business like enough.”

           
Feeling she’d made her point clear,
Serena returned to the roof garden. She lifted her coat off the chair and
carried it back to the kitchen. She picked up her purse from the table. “Thank
you very much for the lunch.” She walked into the living room. Nick followed
her. “Besides, I need to get back to the office to work on my story.
The one about women who fall for the wrong men.”

           
He pushed his fingers into his front
pockets. “That says it all about you, Serena. You want to know why women love
the wrong
men?
”

           
He seemed to be able to nail down
her insecurities. “And what’s wrong with that? It’s true. Most women fall for
the wrong men.”

           
“And a lot of men fall for the wrong
women.”

           
She wouldn’t mind discovering if
he’d ever fallen for the wrong woman. She’d like to know if he’d ever been in
love. That was why she had to escape. She wanted to know far too much about
him.
“Possibly that’s true as well.”

           
“Of course it is. None of us are
immune. Let’s go then.”

           
He came downstairs with her. When
they were on the street he said, “Until tomorrow afternoon for the commercial.”

           
“Yes. I’m not sure of the time.”

           
“I think Don mentioned two-thirty.”

           
“I’ll double check. If it’s
different I’ll let you know.”

           
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t
have to. You’re not my assistant, you’re my equal.”

           
His attitude was the opposite of
what she’d thought it might be. She was rather surprised. She’d thought Nick
would want to control their working situation. “I know, but we have to
coordinate with one another.”

           
“I suppose. Do you have my phone
number?”

           
“No. I guess not.”

           
Nick lifted his wallet from his pocket
and handed her one of Don’s business cards. Nick’s own phone number was
scrawled on the back. “I’ll get a new cell phone as soon as I get settled,” he
said.

           
“That’s okay.” Serena took the card
and slipped it into the front pocket of her jeans. She saw Nick’s eyes watching
her fingers slide into her pocket and she felt her face flush.

           
Nick grinned. “You read my
thoughts.”

           
“I don’t know.” She felt flustered.
He was too darn sexy for his own good.

           
He tapped her shoulder with his
fingertips.
“Till tomorrow.
Keep cool.”

           
Serena walked away from him without
a backward glance. When she was around the corner, despite the heat, she began
to run.

•

           
Nick watched her disappear with
disappointment in his heart. He’d wanted her to stay longer because he felt a deep
attraction to her. If she came into his arms and pleaded for sex, he wouldn’t
say no, but that hadn’t been his prime motive for wanting her with him.

           
He went back to his apartment. She
was still here, her perfume like a floral bouquet. Nick raked his fingers
through his hair. He hadn’t expected to come home and meet a woman he wanted so
much, so soon. He had too much to do while he was at home, too much of his past
life to sort out.

           
Instead of thinking about Serena, he
would go out and buy his beer and fill up the fridge with decent food. He’d
also buy some wine. If there was a next time to her being here, he’d offer her
wine.

           
Also, while he was shopping, a new
TV might be in order, plus a full size computer and the phone. Yes. He had lots
to deal with. And he still had his parents to visit.
Well, hell, Nick you’re going to be buzzing with so much
activity you won’t even have time to think about Serena.

•

           
Serena’s jeans and T-shirt were
clinging to her by the time she reached her office, and her braid had come
apart. She brushed her hair loose, at the same time letting her body cool down
to the air-conditioned room temperature. She wondered what she was actually
running from.
Nick or her own feelings?
Both, she
decided, sitting down at her desk. She didn’t want to be involved with Nick
Fraser. She had to work with him.
Period.
That should
be all that mattered.