Her New Worst Enemy (15 page)

Ellie put her hand on her friend’s arm and looked her directly in the eyes, despite
the sudden urge to run and hide. “Oh God, Penny, I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a selfish
cow. I sincerely believed I was doing this to help you out, but I think I’ve been
so screwed up for so long, things got a bit … muddled. I was jealous of you. I wanted
to be the one getting married. At least I thought I did at the time. I was so terrified
I’d never find anyone to love me again and I took it out on you.”

As Ellie said the words, she knew they were absolutely true. She’d been lying to herself
all this time and look what had happened — she’d been instrumental in ruining her
friend’s happiness. She was so ashamed of herself.

Penny shook her head and blew out a deep sigh. “It wasn’t your fault. I think this
would have happened even if we hadn’t come here. He’s been acting strangely for days,
kind of withdrawn and angry and it all came to a head last night.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have provoked him like that,” Ellie said.

“It doesn’t matter now, anyway. He’s gone and he’s not coming back.”

“Oh, Pen, are you sure? Maybe he just needs a bit of space to think.”

“No, I’m sure,” she whispered, the devastation on her face making Ellie’s chest tighten
painfully. “Gideon,” she said, turning to him now, “I know this is a lot to ask, but
can you take me back to Bristol? Will took our hire-car, and I don’t know if I could
manage a train journey home without breaking down in front of a carriage full of people.”

Ellie’s heart dropped to her knees as the consequences of Penny’s request hit home.
This was it then, the end of the weekend. It had come about much too soon for her
liking, but maybe she deserved to be deprived of the rest of her fling with Gideon
after the way she’d acted. She looked up at him and saw a flash of something she couldn’t
read pass over his face for a second — but only a second — before he nodded and smiled
at Penny.

“Of course I will, if that’s what you want. Are you sure you don’t want to relax here
for the rest of the day? We can look after you.” His gaze skimmed to Ellie’s, perhaps
asking for her to wade in and help her persuade Penny to stay, but before Ellie had
a chance to interject, Penny spoke again.

“That’s so kind,” she smiled at him, her eyes watery with tears, “but I just want
to go home.” Her voice broke on the last word and Ellie found herself welling up in
empathy.

“I’ll ring Gareth and Ali and tell them not to come,” Gideon said, putting a gentle
hand on her arm. “We can catch up with them another time,” he concluded when he clocked
the look of embarrassment on Penny’s face.

• • •

Gideon found Ellie straightening out her bedroom ten minutes later. She glanced up
as he came in and gave him a sheepish frown.

“I’ve let Gareth and Ali know what’s happened,” he said, watching her turn and sit
on the bed, before looking up at him.

“You didn’t tell them it was my fault, did you?” she asked anxiously.

“I said Penny and Will were having problems and not to bother coming up.” He moved
further into the room and sat on the bed next to her, keeping enough room between
them so they didn’t touch each other. Getting sexually worked up right now would definitely
not help the situation.

“Oh God, Gideon, what have I done?” she asked, her voice breaking.

He’d known she’d react like this as soon as Penny told them she was pregnant, and
instinctively he lifted his hand to push a lock of hair away from her face before
withdrawing it again. Not a good idea, based on recent events.

“It doesn’t sound like any of this is down to you. From what she said, they’ve been
having issues for a while.”

“But my stupid, thoughtless comments were the last straw,” she whispered and his heart
went out to her.

“You don’t know that,” he said, shaking his head, desperate to reassure her now. He
hated to see her so down again after she’d begun to pick herself up. “You were worried
about your friend, and let’s face it, if everything had been rock solid between them,
even your pathetic attempts at shaming him into admitting to his villainous ways wouldn’t
have had any effect.”

She gave him a weak smile at his joke and his worry lifted a little.

“Give yourself a break, Ellie, and concentrate on being a solid friend for Penny,
okay? She needs you to be one hundred percent upbeat for her.”

Ellie nodded confidently now. “You’re right. Yes. I need to look after her now.”

“Good.” He slapped his hands onto his knees, suddenly awkward with the emotional intensity
of the conversation. This was exactly the type of thing he usually kept well away
from, but he was actually pleased he’d been here this time to help smooth things over.
“I’ll go and load the car. See you downstairs in a minute.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding again.

He turned back to her and searched for something else to say, to try to successfully
close what they’d started here, but not a single thing came to him. Instead he gave
her a curt nod and walked away, a strange feeling of disappointment twisting in his
gut.

• • •

The journey home was mostly conducted in silence. Penny stared out of the window,
only turning occasionally to answer one of Ellie’s lame questions on any subject she
could dredge up that wouldn’t remind her friend of Will. Ellie gave up in the end
and sat in silence, alternating between staring at the back of Gideon’s head in the
driver’s seat in front of her, and the scenery out of her window.

A deep sense of loss washed over her at the thought that there would be no more sex
with Gideon. No more ribbing him about his multi-faceted love life — that wouldn’t
be a subject they could discuss any more without it becoming awkward. She was going
to miss him. To miss his gentle teasing and his come-to-bed eyes. The thought of seeing
him with someone else made her chest tighten and her blood race, so she tried not
to think about it and focus instead on how she was going to help Penny get through
the next few painful months.

If she’d known how much Penny loved and needed Will, she never would have interfered.
“Be careful what you wish for,” Gideon had said, and he’d been absolutely right. She
should have stayed well out of it. Perhaps if she’d been more welcoming, Will would
have given things another chance.

She couldn’t think like that though, it would drive her crazy. It was done and there
wasn’t any way she could change things now.

Gideon finally drew up in front of Penny’s house and pulled on the handbrake. He turned
to look at Penny and she smiled stoically back at him.

“You sure you want to go home? I bet Ellie would be happy to have you at her place,”
he said.

“No, I have to go in some time and face being there without Will. It may as well be
sooner rather than later. I’m not going to allow this thing to chase me out of my
own home,” she said with a determined ring to her voice. Ellie was in total awe of
how strong her friend was in the face of heartbreak. If anyone had asked her how she
thought Penny would take something like this, she would have said very badly.

But then that was the difference between them; Penny was a lot stronger than she was.
Penny wouldn’t wallow in selfish solitude for six months like she had. Or push her
friends and family away when they tried to help.

Well, Ellie was determined not to let herself get into that state again, because if
there was one thing she’d learned this weekend, it was that she was incredibly lucky
to have people who cared about her.

“Do you want me to come in with you? I can stay the night if you like,” she said,
already putting her hand on the door handle.

“No. I just want some time to myself.”

“Oh. Okay.” She nodded slowly, trying not to show how hurt she was by her friend’s
rejection. Perhaps she deserved it after what she’d done. “You know, Pen, maybe if
I talked to him I could smooth things out … ”

“No.” Penny’s voice was hard now. “Just leave it alone, Ellie.”

She nodded quickly and put her hands back in her lap. Gideon shifted in his seat in
front of her but didn’t say anything. She knew what he must be thinking. He’d warned
her this might happen. Why hadn’t she listened to him?

Penny leaned across and kissed Gideon on the cheek. “Thanks for bringing me back.”

He gave her a small nod. “No problem. Take care of yourself, okay.”

Penny gave him a weak smile before exiting the car.

They watched her in silence as she mounted the steps to her house and let herself
in through her front door.

“Home then?” Gideon said, once Penny had disappeared from view, using the rear-view
mirror to look at her.

“Yes,” she said, knowing it was useless to expect anything more from him and determined
not to embarrass herself by asking for it.

“Get in the front then,” he said, giving her a grin.

She climbed between the seats into the front and did up her seatbelt. When she turned
to look at him, he was smiling in bemusement.

“What?” she said, frowning at him in surprise.

“Nothing.” He started the engine and pulled away, heading over to her flat.

They didn’t talk on the way there and she felt increasingly twitchy as they got closer
to their destination. A small voice in her head kept wondering whether he’d change
his mind and ask to come in. To suggest they continue what they’d begun, but she didn’t
dare ask him in case he said no. She didn’t want to hear it.

They finally reached her road and Gideon swung into a space, pulling on the handbrake
but keeping the engine running.

So he had no intention of coming in then.

Her heart sank as she realized this was the moment, the absolute end to her and Gideon
and their weekend of fun.

“Okay then,” she said, leaning in to give him a light kiss on the cheek and allowing
herself to breathe him in one last time, to try to imprint his smell on her memory
for a rainy day.

“Okay then,” he replied, giving her his trademark foxy grin. How could he be so unaffected,
she wondered. He looked as he always did, relaxed and self-assured. Her gut twisted
with pain to see it.

“So … thanks … for everything,” she said, wanting to say so much more but finding
she was totally unable to voice the jumble of thoughts in her head.

“It was my absolute pleasure,” Gideon said.

Her eyes were hot with unshed tears so she gave him a quick smile before getting out
into the cool afternoon air, slamming the car door behind her and walking swiftly
away.

No matter how hard Ellie stared at her phone for the rest of that week, Gideon didn’t
call.

It wasn’t as if he’d promised to ring, but she couldn’t squash the feeling they needed
to speak to each other to smooth over the rough end to the weekend. It certainly hadn’t
concluded the way either of them had anticipated.

She went to call his mobile a couple of times, but stopped herself. Her stupid pride
wouldn’t let her.

Instead, she called her parents and was overwhelmed by how happy they were to hear
from her. It felt good to finally tell them everything that happened with Paul. The
hurt and humiliation that had kept her from talking to them disappeared once she said
it all out loud and she wondered why she’d allowed herself to leave it so long to
tell them. After putting down the phone, she felt happier and lighter than she had
in a very long time.

Next she phoned Penny and wouldn’t give up until her friend agreed to let her come
over and take care of her. It took her a while, but she finally managed to convince
Penny she was truly sorry about not trusting her judgment and she wanted to make it
up to her.

Life was beginning to straighten out again, but to her utter frustration, her treacherous
body had left her with a thrumming need to be touched and held and made love to after
the intense sexperience at the weekend. Worse than that, she missed Gideon’s company
— his wicked sense of humor and the way he made her feel like the most special woman
on earth when he talked to her. Thinking about him all the time was making it very
difficult to concentrate on anything else.

As each day passed, she grew more and more distracted until she started making stupid
mistakes at work and had to take herself off to one side and give herself a good talking
to.

She was being ridiculous. They’d both agreed that the affair would end when they left
the manor, and for a very good reason. There was no future for them as a couple.

Even though she turned this into a mantra and made herself say it to her reflection
in the mirror ten times every hour, the germinating seed of thought that they could
make it work somehow, would not be squished.

Luckily, on Thursday morning one of her friends at work suggested they have a girly
night out on Friday, and Ellie jumped at the chance for a distraction from waiting
for a phone call that would never come.

They arranged to meet in a restaurant in town before going out for some drinks and
seeing where the night took them.

The possibility of something new and exciting happening to her helped Ellie begin
to say goodbye to her weekend with Gideon, and despite the dragging sadness at the
loss of hope that it would come to anything more, she felt calmer and more focused.

This would be good. It was exactly what she needed to do now. What Gideon had wanted
her to do after waking her up from her selfish, self-pitying stupor.

She was ready to take the next step.

• • •

On Friday night, Ellie was hooking a hoop through her ear when a loud knock at the
door made her jump. She went to ask the taxi driver to wait since he was early and
she wasn’t quite ready yet.

Gideon stood on her doorstep, smiling down at her as she stared open-mouthed at him.

He was wearing a dark gray Italian suit, his white shirt pulled open at the collar
flashing a vee of tanned skin beneath it.