Hidden Barriers (9 page)

Then, she was curious as to why I was at Mass General Hospital that night weeks ago. I never intended to lie to her; it’s not my nature. Rather than rehashing the truth about Sue, I only openly confessed how Jeremy’s girlfriend was in a horrific car accident after winning the US Figure Skating Championship, and I just happened to be the officer first on scene. There was a look of both adoration and sadness in Sam’s eyes as I went on to describe Jeremy’s love for Emily and having to leave for his professional hockey career and leaving Emily behind. I explained how my family was still helping her in the recovery process and how I had volunteered to pick up Aspen the other day to relieve her.

I saw Sam mentally withstand the simple act of reaching across to rest her hand on mine.

You would have thought touching me was toxic. I can’t even imagine not being able to hug, touch, or love another person.

Love. Could I love again?

That thought has been festering in my mind since I watched Sam drive away. Snowflakes are falling at a slow pace as I make my way up the front path to the townhouse. The television flickers through the living room as I walk through the front door. After dropping my keys onto the table near the door, I hang up my coat on the hook.

From the living room, I hear Nick. “So, how did the date go with Sam?”

Walking into the living room before sitting on the sofa across from him, I struggle to find the right words. “The girl fascinates me. I could have stayed longer with her, but we gave each other our numbers and said we’d catch up soon.” Between her schedule and mine, we weren’t able to plan another date night this week. I know where she works now, and I told her I’d drop in when I wasn’t working or helping at my parents’ house.

Shortly after leaving the pizza shop with Josh, my phone buzzes as I pull into my driveway. I notice it’s a text message from Drew.

Mom called. What’s this I hear about you having a date tonight?

Shit. I knew Mom would tell him, and he’d freak once he found out. Not once have I actively dated in almost three years. I should have known Drew would go into protective mode on me. I send him a response.

Yes & no- We’re kinda just getting to know one another right now. Don’t worry. I’m home now.

My phone buzzes again seconds later.

Should I worry about this guy?

Typing back, I answer.

Nah, I got this. Plus, he’s a cop.

More buzzing.
Grrrr.

No shit! Call me later. I need to hear all about how this guy got my sis to go out on a date.

Waking up the following morning, I feel refreshed. Rejuvenated. It’s almost as though just talking to Josh lifted so much off my shoulders. None of my therapists from years ago ever made me feel this at ease. A man I just met seems to have all the power to bring a smile to my face.

After reaching for my phone on the nightstand, I hold down the button to turn it on. I had to turn it off for once. Normally, I keep that sucker on day and night in case of an emergency, but Drew was blowing up my phone with text messages, and I just couldn’t take any more interrogation.

As I’m stretching out in the warmth of my bed, I notice more snow falling outside my bedroom window again. Will it ever stop this winter? I’m so ready for spring at this point. Spring means derby season begins, and the New England summer outdoor activities will be in full swing. Lazy days at the beach, backyard barbecues, and lots of ice cream.

My phone chimes next to me, taking me away from my summertime dreams. Those are probably the remaining texts from Drew that I couldn’t handle last night. Sure enough, as I pull up the screen, three are from Drew. It’s the last one that has me propping myself up in bed to make sure I’m reading it correctly.

Here’s a question I forgot to ask you last night. How did you get the name Sammy

Sweet Cheeks?

I’m uncertain if I was the first thing he thought of as he woke up this morning, but the thought of him thinking of me at all warms my heart.
He’s a good guy, Sam.
Chuckling to myself, I type my response to Josh.

Good Morning 2 U! Sammy Sweet Cheeks was born when the C-Naughties found out about my slight sweet tooth. OK! Not so slight.

Just as I’m about to place my phone back onto the nightstand, it starts ringing. Pulling it back over, I see the caller ID and answer it. “Hello,” I say softly.

Josh’s deep laugh filters through the speaker. “So, how ‘not so slight’ are we talking on this sweet tooth?” he playfully asks.

I hold my hand over my mouth, trying to suppress my laughter. As serious as possible, I say, “Well, it depends. I’ve been banned from any party that has a chance of there being a candy buffet bar. I’ve been told my mouth can hold a lot of things—” I hear the sounds of coughing on the other end of the line. “Are you okay over there?”

“Oh, yeah. Just perfect. But, going forward, you should know I have a twisted mind and can be known to take things out of context. I wasn’t expecting you to start talking about your mouth.”

“If I could have finished my sentence, I was going to say my mouth can hold a lot of things at once…marshmallows, ice cream, jelly beans, caramel, nuts…”
Shit.
“Don’t you even dare go there!” I warn him.

“Now who has the twisted mind? I wasn’t going to say anything about you taking
nuts
in your mouth,” Josh teases. Sighing, I curl back into my comforter, thinking of Josh’s simple ability to make me laugh and be at ease around him. I yawn loudly. Even though I have been awake for a while, I still haven’t had my coffee yet. Josh must have heard me as he asks, “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Nah, I was up anyway. I’ve got to head to the bar to train the new guy. I need him ready for the summer when derby season starts.”

“Maybe on my way back from my parents’ house, I’ll swing by to say hi, if that’s all right with you.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there until closing the next three nights. Weekends get crazy, but if you stop in, that’s fine.”

“What if I were to ask you on a real date next week sometime?” he asks without reservation.

I hate to admit that last night didn’t exactly play out how a normal first date should go, but I might be to blame for that. I can’t let him believe I still think I made a mess of the whole thing.

“Josh Page, are you insinuating that last night wasn’t a
real
date?” I ask as I twirl my hair around my finger.

“Well, let’s see. The drinks at Vines were free since you tricked me, and the pizza cost me ten bucks. I think I can do better than that.”

Shit. I never even thought about how it must have looked when he found out I partly own Vines.
Stupid, Sam
.

“If you swing by the bar and ask me properly on a date, I might consider your request.”

“I’ll see you tonight, Sam.”

“Talk to you later, Josh.”

The entire day has been a whirlwind with thoughts of Sam infiltrating my mind. I can’t for the life of me understand what has possessed me so about her. She is strikingly beautiful, without a doubt. Her sassy, smart-wit attitude adds that something special, making her unique in her own way. Then, the minute she laughs, it consumes every fiber of my body, but it’s the fact that I know she’ll be a challenge to me that has me spellbound. She’s unlike all other girls I’ve ever met, even Sue doesn’t compare.

I left my parents’ house after checking on Emily. Since Courtney had classes this afternoon she wasn’t around as a buffer zone between Mom and me. Mom cornered me and said if I had Sunday off, she’d like me over for the Sunday family dinner. Evidently, after being away for so long with working in Boston, I would be required to begin attending the family dinners more often living as close as I do now. It’s not a bad thing; in fact, I enjoy spending the afternoon with them. It’s the running into Sue that has kept me away more often than I’d like, even more so after she announced her pregnancy months ago.

I am driving down the back roads and countryside with the radio blasting as I head into downtown to ask Sam out properly. An idea comes to mind as I sing along to “Candy” by Gavin Degraw. After turning my car in another direction, I pull into the strip mall and make my way into the shop that will ultimately give Sam no other option but to go out with me.