Hold Me Tight (13 page)

“I love you,” she sniffles. “And just so you know, that’s the only reason I’m letting you do this.”

“I know,” I say, ruffling her hair. “That’s why I love you.”

I brush my lips across hers and give her a gentle kiss before breaking away. I can’t look at her or I won’t have the strength to leave. And I have to do what’s best for her and the baby. I need to work through this on my own so I can come back to her and be the man she needs me to be. So once and for all, I can put the memory of what I had with Cassidy behind me.

I can’t ask Ivy to understand what I’m feeling after learning without a doubt that her baby wasn’t mine when she’s fighting with everything’s she’s got to hold on to the baby that is. I’m not that selfish. I can’t take everything out of her in order to get myself back on an even footing again. I have to find the strength within myself to do it on my own.

This is my trial, and mine alone.

Chapter Eighteen
Ivy

I watch Eric walk out the door, and I wish I had never laid eyes on Tim.

Why did I trick him into coming over here? What good did it do? Yeah, the truth’s out, but at what cost? I never imagined that Tim would pin the paternity of Cassidy’s baby on someone else. I hoped it was going to be clear-cut—either it was Tim’s or it was Eric’s, end of discussion. Little did I know that I didn’t have all the facts. Tim was keeping a mighty big secret from me. And I still don’t think he’s revealed all that he knows.

“Let’s go sit by the fire,” I command as Tim shoots me a hangdog look. “This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.”

We make ourselves comfortable on the couch as Shep jumps over Tim and settles his head in my lap. I absently stroke his furry head, grateful for the stress relief he’s providing as he sighs against my hand in that doggy way of his. I feel the baby kick at the same time, and my other hand rushes to my stomach. The baby’s excited. That’s not good. I take a few deep breaths to even my heart rate. I have to get my emotions under control. The last place I want to end up today is the emergency room.

“Ivy, are you okay?” Tim leans forward, knowing something’s up when he sees me wince.

“I’m fine, Tim,” I say, closing my eyes. “But you didn’t have to do that. You should’ve given me some warning so I could have better prepared him for that. But no, you had to go and act on your own, and now look what you did. You know he can’t take things like that. They’re too much for him.”

“He’s always been high-strung,” Tim agrees a little too casually. “I didn’t think anything of it. I thought that he’d deck me or something and be done with it. Ivy, don’t worry. As long as he doesn’t do anything crazy, like go after Conrad, it’ll be okay.”

“He better
not
go after Conrad,” I warn, raising my voice, causing Shep to yelp.

“We’ll all keep an eye on him,” Tim reassures me. “But he had to know Ivy. You know I’m right. Things couldn’t go on the way they were.”

“So Conrad basically dropped Cassidy when he found out she was pregnant. Is that it?” I ask, indicating that I want him to finish the story.

“He freaked. Yeah, he liked screwing around with her, but he sure as hell didn’t want an illegitimate kid,” Tim relates, sitting back.

“So he was never serious about leaving his wife and marrying her?” I press him.

“Ivy, c’mon. What do you think?” Tim looks at me and sighs. “Cassidy fell for his line of bull. Just because she wanted to believe it didn’t make it so.”

“Did he want her to get rid of it?” I ask, fearing his response.

“Pretty much,” Tim mutters. “He didn’t leave her with very many options. His true colors came out when he felt like his back was against the wall. He got all demanding and shit, saying she better do it or else. By then, she was more than a little terrified of him.”

“Because she wanted to keep the baby,” I conclude.

“Bingo,” Tim groans, lowering his head. “Not to mention the fact that, no matter how much it pains me to say it, she still loved him. After all that he put her through, the baby was the last tangible sign of their love. She’d rather have died than give it up.”

“And she did,” I say glumly. “I’m sorry about what happened to her, but I’ll never forgive her for lying to Eric and trying to pass it off as his.”

“Yeah, that was a risky move,” Tim admits, rubbing his forehead. “She was so desperate to hold on to the baby she was willing to do anything. She knew, by claiming it was Eric’s, it’d give her the cover story she needed to carry on with the pregnancy.”

“Was Conrad really going to let her get away with that? I mean, if the baby was born, she could’ve always had a DNA test done and proved that it was his somewhere down the line,” I question Tim further. “The threat of exposure was always going to be there.”

“And we’re living with the consequences today,” Tim replies, lost in thought. “If Cassidy hadn’t gotten sick, it might’ve all been resolved sooner, but Conrad played the long game, and so far, he’s won. I’m one of the few people alive who knows the truth.”

“So that’s why they targeted you?” I ask as everything starts to fall into place.

“I was the one who took Cassidy to her initial doctor’s appointment. I was seen with her, and word got back to Conrad. He called me out of the blue one night after Cassidy went back to school and told me to keep my mouth shut or else.” Tim cringes at the memory. “I didn’t hear from him again until the trouble with Ryan started.”

“Wow. You know all of their dirty, little secrets, don’t you?” I tease him halfheartedly. “The playboy millionaire who knocked up the fresh-faced coed. The closeted gay son who gave in to his sexual impulses. Forget the screenplay—you could write the tell-all of all tell-alls knowing that kind of stuff.”

“Too bad the screenplay was designed to keep me in my place,” Tim remarks, opening my eyes to the truth. “Lauren came up with the idea in order to ensure my silence. Once my story was told on film, there’d be no way anyone would ever believe Conrad was the father. Everyone would always think it was me.”

“I’m just curious how Lauren ever found out about it. I don’t think that would be something Conrad would share willingly with her. I mean, talk about an awkward conversation. He impregnated a girl around her age. Lauren must have been outraged,” I ponder out loud.

“Cassidy said that, during the final weeks of her relationship with Conrad, before she came home on break, she thought she noticed that she was being followed,” Tim relates, cluing me in. “At first, she thought it might’ve been part of Conrad’s security detail, but when she asked him about it, he denied it.”

“You’re thinking it was Lauren?” I inquire, mulling it over in my head.

“You know how obsessed she became with Eric,” Tim concurs, turning to face me. “I wouldn’t put it past her, especially if she caught wind of something going on between her stepfather and the one girl she wanted out of Eric’s life. And what lends more credence to the theory is that Cassidy mentioned to me that she thought she saw Lauren at that seminar sitting with Conrad’s entourage—the lipstick, the pantyhose, the whole nine yards. Cassidy only put two and two together when she came home and saw Lauren’s picture and bio in the
Gazette
after she was named the new editor.”

“I think my head is spinning,” I moan, clutching my head. “Stop the world. I want to get off.”

“If only we could,” Tim mutters, watching Shep’s tail thump against his leg.

“Lauren took a big risk throwing us together then,” I state, considering the possibilities. “I mean, wasn’t she afraid that you’d tell me all of this?”

“I think she expected me to go along with the story she’d concocted for the screenplay. Eric and I had been on the outs for so long. There wasn’t much love lost between us. We’ve always wanted the same girl. Even if neither of us was able to hold on to her,” Tim relates, despondently. “I think she honestly thought that I’d never want to help you in a million years. She didn’t count on you winning me over.”

“Don’t tell me you just did it for me,” I admonish him, thinking back to our almost kiss and getting uncomfortable. “I’m not blind. I can see that there’s still some loyalty between you and Eric. I think you’ve wanted to tell him for a long time, haven’t you?”

“Not that he ever would’ve believed me before now,” Tim admits, digging his elbow into the armrest. “If Eric hadn’t fallen in love with you, I don’t think he would’ve been open to hearing the truth. We both had Cassidy up on a pedestal. I heard her confession from her own lips, but Eric was left to take my word for it. It’s tough. Sure, he’s struggling with the truth, but he’s not denying it, and that’s huge. He’ll work through it and be fine. It’ll just take time, and thank God he has you.”

“But what about you?” I ask, nudging his leg with my foot, not liking the adoring way he’s looking at me even though I’m worried about him. “What’s going to happen to you now?”

“As long as Eric doesn’t open his mouth, I’ll probably stay under the radar,” Tim says not too convincingly. “I just have to hold on until Ben graduates. Once he gets in the college of his choice, they won’t have anything else they can threaten me with.”

“But it’s not that simple,” I respond testily, bursting his bubble. “Tim, I don’t think I can keep quiet about this. It’s the only piece of leverage I have to get them to back off. Lauren wants me to finish her screenplay. We both know I can’t do that. I won’t do that. But her threats are real. If I don’t come through, she’s going to start destroying us one by one.”

“Ivy, you don’t know what you’re up against when it comes to Conrad,” Tim warns adamantly, causing Shep to pick up his head. “Dealing with Lauren is nothing compared to the type of damage he can inflict, and that’s saying a lot. With the money and resources he has at his disposal, we’d never stand a chance. Look at what he’s done to me. He cost me my job. He has me financially dependent on doing his stepdaughter’s bidding. And what kills me is that I was willing to go along with it all until you showed up.”

“Thank God for small favors,” I joke, but Tim doesn’t even crack a smile. “C’mon. You can’t back out on me now. I thought we were going to take them down once Ben was settled. We’ve already made our plan. Now it’s about sticking to it.”

“But that’s when we were talking about going after Ryan. You didn’t say anything about taking on Conrad,” Tim grimaces, uneasy with the proposition.

“It’s the only thing that’s going to get Lauren and that stupid screenplay of hers out of our lives,” I insist, driving the point home. “We’re not going to approach Conrad. We’re not going to go anywhere near Conrad. We just need Lauren to think that we are. Do you really think she’s going to go running to him for help and let him know that she let the situation slip out of her control? There’s no way she’s going to want to look weak in front of him. It’s our one and only chance to end this.”

“It’s such a gamble though.” Tim scratches his chin. “You’re betting an awful lot on the assumption that she won’t tell Conrad.”

“If you were brave enough to tell Eric the truth, then I know you have the guts to dupe Lauren,” I encourage him. “She’s already tried to take my baby from me twice. There’s no way I’m going to let her keep antagonizing me like this. Ever since I met her, I’ve felt like I’ve always been at a disadvantage, always a step behind, always playing catch-up. But now, thanks to you, I finally feel like I’m in the driver’s seat. And boy, am I going to enjoy it.”

“Can we at least wait until Eric gets back and talk it over with him?” Tim hesitates, pleading with me with his eyes. “There’s no need to rush into anything.”

“If it makes you feel better,” I reply, throwing him a bone. “But I just have to laugh. Lauren thought she was going to get Eric to break up with me up by sending me to you. Little did she know she was writing the ticket to her own demise. Maybe we can even get Will his screenplay back. Hey, where is Will anyway?”

“Right here,” Will replies, leaning against the door and startling the two of us.

“Have you been listening the whole time?” Tim inquires, agitated.

“Have no fear, brother of Ben. Your secret is safe with me,” Will snickers, walking into the room before warming his hands by the fire.

“Did Eric get off okay?” I ask anxiously.

“If nearly ripping my head off to get out of the truck counts as okay. Then oh yeah, he’s fine,” Will replies.

“I’m just so worried about him,” I sigh, gazing out the window at the snow that’s starting to fall. “I won’t feel at ease until he gets back.”

“Ben will take good care of him,” Will says, trying to make me feel better. “He’s not a talker like I am. He’ll let him brood in silence.”

“Silence? You’ve never gone hunting with Eric when he’s mad,” Tim replies with a frown. “He’s liable to unload a full round of ammo into the nearest tree before he settles down.”

“Oh God,” I moan, and Shep jumps off the couch and runs upstairs, his nails clattering on the wooden surface.

“Well, anything’s better than the way he was moping around when you were gone.” Will glances at me. “I’d rather see him ready to kick life in the teeth any day.”

“I’ll just have to make it extra special for him when he comes home,” I respond, a plan already starting to take shape in my mind. “Will you help me with something later?”

“Yeah, but it looks like I’m going to be on my own at the garden center today. Frank left a message on my phone that he can’t make it in. And with school out until tomorrow, we’re bound to be busy,” Will grumbles, not appreciating being left in the lurch.

“Let me come down and help you, man,” Tim offers. “I don’t have anything better to do. It’s not like I still have a job to go to.”

“As long as you let me take you home first so you can shower and shave. In the state you’re in, you’re liable to scare the customers away,” Will ribs him. “We’ll take Eric’s truck. He left me the keys.”

“Are you going to be all right here by yourself?” Tim asks, getting up from the couch.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I respond, giving him a tired smile. “I’m probably going to go back to bed like Eric said. I’m not used to getting up so early.”

“If you need anything, call me,” Will says solemnly, holding the door open against the blustery wind. “I’ll try to come back and check on you around lunchtime if I can get away. There are still some leftovers in the fridge if you get hungry.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I tease. But I love seeing this new compassionate side of Will emerge more and more thanks to Ben’s influence. Who knew Will could be so considerate?

“And, Ivy, don’t do anything until Eric gets back,” Tim repeats again, making me adhere to my promise. “Just sit tight, okay?”

“My lips are sealed.” I pantomime turning a lock and throwing away the key.

They both smile at me before shuffling out the door, bracing themselves against the oncoming storm.

I listen to the fire crackling in the hearth and gingerly swing my feet onto the floor. There’s a lot I want to get done before Eric gets back, and I don’t have a minute to lose. I hope I can find what I’m looking for in the tiny crawlspace that makes up the cabin’s attic. If not, I’m going have to use my ingenuity to pull off what I have planned. No matter what, I’m going to make it happen.