I Love My Chance (Nicole's Erotic Romance 3) (4 page)

Staring up at him,
I ask plainly – no walls, no bullshit, “Why?”

He brings his
hands up to cup my face. His eyes sadden, hoping I’ll believe him. They’re so
earnest and heartfelt that I can’t look away. I’ve stopped breathing.

 
“Because if she hadn’t rejected me, I’d
be here in New York with her right now. I wouldn’t have met you! And while I
did feel something for her, it pales in comparison with what this feels like.”
He motions back and forth between our chests, our hearts. He walks away and
paces like he’s trying to get the strength to continue, wondering if he should.
There’s something greater than this that’s been on his mind. I can see it from
the troubled look, the way he’s biting his lips again. “Here’s the thing,
Nicole. I have been looking for something like this for a long time.”

“You just met me
yesterday,” I breathe, entranced by the trustworthy gleam in his eyes that says
believe me
.

“So?” His eyes
travel to my parted lips, then back up. He looks pained as a terrifying thought
occurs to him. “Don’t
you
feel it? Am
I alone in this?”

I walk, reach out
and lay my hands on his chest. His heart vibrates against my hands, beating
fast. “You’re not alone. And it’s more than a little terrifying to me.”

A relieved smile
washes over him. “I didn’t think it was scary until just now. It’s crazy, I
know. But being with you, the way you look at me, the way you feel in my arms.
These eyes of yours, Nicole. They kill me. I look into them and I think of…”

“Possibilities,” I
finish in little more than a whisper. I nod and add, “I was thinking the same
thing about you.”

He’s thoughtful,
like he’s figuring these things out as he says them aloud. “It’s like I
understand you. And when you were telling me these details about your life,
it’s like you were connecting the dots to a puzzle I’ve already finished.”

My eyes fall
closed and I turn my chin up, asking for a kiss. He bends down gladly and
kisses me like it’s our first kiss, searching and new. I can handle this. He’ll
live far away and we’ll see each other when we can. It will give me enough time
and space to ease into being with a good man, to open up to that. To let my
guard down… over time. To trust him… over time. To…

Mark interrupts my
thoughts. “I live far away. But people can move.”

My lashes fly
open.

He shakes his head
in amazement. “When I was looking around the city today, I was wondering if I
could live here
. What if this was my
home?
”

I squeak, “Oh!”

I step away.
“Mark, I’m not… I just… Look.” I hold my hand up and look around the room for
something to focus on, to stop the spinning in my head. I know I made the
decision not to lose him… but first I can’t lose myself. Not again. Not this
soon. I’m still healing from Michael! I can’t breathe.

“I’m sorry.” He
steps back, his eyes clouding. His chin sets.

I look away from
him. “It’s my fault. I quizzed you about your other trip. About that fucking
girl. So you felt you had to explain. Hell, I asked you to! Then feelings got
amplified. Things got said. And now – well, as you can probably tell, I’m
freaking out right now. I just met you!”

He stammers over
me, “No. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said…”

“…I’m so not good
at relationships!”

“I was just caught
up in the moment…”

“…And, trust me,
I’m a slower mover than this.”

“So am I!” He
looks at me intently. He runs his hands through his hair and down the back of
his neck as he walks toward the kitchen to distance himself. “Usually.” He
shoots a troubled look my way and stands in the doorway.

I wish I knew what
to say. I hate that he’s standing over there, looking at me like that.
Struggling and feeling very insecure, I mumble, “The best I can do is be honest
with you. That’s the best I can do.” I move my hand back and forth like he did,
motioning in the air from my heart to his. “This? I haven’t done this in a long
time.” He nods, but I feel like I’m losing him. This is torture.

I take a step
closer to him, but stop as he looks at me. He’s discouraged. “Shit. Look at
that face you’re giving me.”

He shakes his
head, looks up at the ceiling and back at me, unable to lose the expression.

I take another
step. “Okay. Me. Looking at you? See?”

He stares at me.
Nods slowly.

“I am feeling
exactly what you’re feeling. And it’s been years since that feeling didn’t land
me in heartbreak. I want to leap into this with you. I really do. Today, in the
park, I made the decision – God help me for saying this out loud –
I made a decision that I wasn’t going to make the same mistake as that girl.
You know the one.”

Hope glimmers in
his eyes. “Keep going.”

A small relieved laugh
drifts out of me. “Okay. I want to keep seeing you. I want to try long
distance. I just need to move slowly. If I don’t – I will run. I know
that because I know
me
. Can you do
that?”

“Slowly,” he
repeats, soaking it in.

“Slowly.”

I wiggle my
fingers, anxious for what to do or say next. He walks over to my paintings. Is
he debating on whether or not to just be business partners? The idea of doing
that deflates me, but I say nothing. Finally he turns his head, takes me in. As
I watch, his mood transforms. He pulls it together, walks and leans against a
wall.

“I’m sorry.”

I smile, gratified
by the warmth that’s returned to his eyes. “For what?”

“We were having
such a good time and I got all
forever
on it.”

Hearing
that
word makes me sweat. I give a
little shrug of one shoulder. ““It’s fine. Is it hot in here? This sweater
feels hot all of a sudden.”

A mischievous
smirk pulls at the corners of his lips. “Then why don’t you take it off?”

He’s making a joke
but I see it clearly as the answer. This is the door out of the mess we’ve
gotten ourselves into. I know how to do
sex
.

Fear gets replaced
by mojo. I reach up and slowly slide my fingers into my hair, twisting it in a
tight bun, tucking in the ends so they stay. I let my mouth fall lax as I hold
his look. A tiny corner of my mouth tugs up in a sexy smile. He licks his lips,
alert. I wiggle my hips in one slow circular motion, bring my chin down. “You
know what?”

He runs his eyes
over my breasts, my hips, down my legs, takes his time raking them back up my
curves. He cocks his head to the side. “No. What?”

“How’d you like to
see me all wet?”

“Again?”

My jaw drops with
surprised laughter. “Okay, wise guy. How’d you like to see
all
of me wet? Suds sliding down over my bare, slippery skin…”

A grin spreads
fast across his face. But he shakes his head. “I wouldn’t like that at all.”

I turn and arch my
back so that my ass rises up. I peek over my shoulder at him. “No?”

He stays leaned
against the wall, his muscular frame gorgeous as he shifts his weight. “Nah.”

“Hmmm…” I saunter
back to him, stopping just out of his reach. He eyes me suspiciously, wondering
what I’m going to do.

“You don’t want to
see
these
moistened…” I pull my
sweater off. I reach back, holding his eyes, and pop my bra off, bringing my
arms in as I remove it, pushing my breasts together, forming a delightfully
enhanced cleavage.
 
“…under a heavy
stream of hot, steaming water?” His eyes lock on my dark nipples as they
tighten and twist, becoming hard under the cool air of the room. I step to him and
very slowly reach for his hand, pulling it up to my mouth to suck on one of his
fingers as we stare at each other, our eyes smoldering. My tongue lingers over
the tip, and then I run his wet finger around and around one of my nipples. His
mouth is open, and his eyes are filled with fire. His breathing changes. I can
hear it. I release his hand with a flourish and saunter away toward the
bathroom as I tuck my fingers under the hips of my jeans.

“Okay. I’ll see
you later.”

From behind me I
hear him leap, using the wall as a springboard. I narrowly escape his
outstretched hand. I run fast around the corner into the bathroom, straining to
close the door on him, wrestling against him and laughing as he growls at me.
He pushes it open – overpowers me in seconds. “You are now my prisoner,”
he says, in a deep, cartoon-voice, with a look that says I am no match for his
superhuman strength.

I throw my hands
up. “Oh no!”

Eyes lit up by
laughter and desire for me, he rips off his jacket as I back away from him. I watch
him peel off his clothes. He reaches back with both chiseled arms, biceps
tightening as he pulls off his shirt, stripping it over his head, hair falling
in a sexy mess. He throws the shirt on the floor. My body is on fire watching
him, my pussy tingling sharply, so much so that I almost reach down and touch
myself. He pulls me to him with his hands on my ass. The feeling of our bare
skin against each other quickens both our hearts. His lips hungrily take
possession of mine. Every cell in my body moans. He grabs me tightly so that my
breasts crush against him. I move my thigh so his leg fits into the crevice
between my legs. I rub on it as we kiss. He moves down and gnaws on my neck,
licking it and biting my skin. My head goes back and I moan, throwing my
breasts up high into him. He bends to kiss their tender skin, to spread heat on
my nipples with hot, hungry kisses. I hold onto his biceps, loving the strength
of them. His fingers, pressed into my back, pull my body up to meet his mouth.
His breath is coming in short beats of pleasure and little moans.

He releases me,
turns to the shower, shaking his head under this thought:
our chemistry is insane
. With one yank, he pulls back the shower
curtain, reaches down and gets the water to the right temperature, fast. He
turns and yanks off my clothes quicker than they’ve ever come off.

Then he stops…
steps back to drink me in.

Standing in front
of him, I’m naked and fearless. Living in my sexuality is something I’m used
to. I no longer feel insecure. Fear seems ridiculous. My head is held high, my
body held out to him like a carrot that’s actually within his reach. He cocks
his head to the side, bites his bottom lip through a smile of disbelief and
appreciation as he rakes over me with stormy eyes.

He yanks off the
rest of his own clothes, holds out his hand and says, “Shall we?”

I smile
suggestively. “We shall.”

All of the
niceties disappear as the water rushes wet heat onto our skin. Mark turns our
bodies so that both of us can feel it. He pulls me to him, slippery flesh
against flesh. We kiss hard and fast, tasting everything and loving it all. I
claw into his back with my nails, wrap one leg around his ass and rub against
his upper thigh as he grabs my ass and helps me, pushing me against it. I gasp
against his mouth as he groans into mine. His full cock presses against my
stomach, demanding our attention. He flips me around fast, standing behind me.
I’m facing the mirror, the shower curtain still pulled aside. He planned for me
to watch him fuck me in the mirror’s reflection. I know that now. I reach up,
grab onto the shower curtain pole. Everything’s done in the reflection. I never
take my eyes off us. His hands come around me slowly, sliding down my breasts,
my ribcage, his cock pressing against my ass, waiting. He grips my right hip
and slips his free hand down my pussy and into my lips. I stretch and moan
under his touch, staring at him, our eyes locked together, hooded. My breasts
lift high as I hold on tight to the steel pole, bending under his fingers as he
strokes me. He’s slow and so sensual in his touch. I’m slippery more from
excitement than from the water. In the mirror, I see him pull back and check
out my ass, so I lift it up, give it a little shake and smile at him in the
reflection. He gives it a slap and eats me alive with his look. His leg rises
up and his foot finds security on the rim next to me, the lines beautiful. I
bring my leg up, too, opening to him, our thighs pressed together. I gasp from
the pleasure of his fingers. He reaches around and presses his cock, so full
and hard, against the small of my back, sliding around just a bit to tease me.
My eyes tell him
I want you. I’m begging
for more
. I push my knee into his, both our legs open. He bends and pushes
the tip of his gorgeous cock deeply into me. His eyes close. He grabs onto both
of my hips and I moan as he digs his fingers into my soft flesh. His head falls
back as he buries himself in. I yell out as he pushes up and undulates his hips
round and round. He pulls his cock out in a long sweeping motion and thrusts in
again, hard and fast. I shiver. As I look at our skin shining with water, the
image of us in the mirror begins to disappear behind steam. Instantly I imagine
us vanishing and have to shove away the horribleness of my dark imagination. I
close my eyes hard. He bites my neck and it hurts just enough to grab my focus,
bring it back to this delirious moment.

I release the pole
and grab onto his arm. He holds tightly onto my chest, holding me up. I want
this. I need his support. I move my ass against his cock as it thrusts into me
and fills me up so deeply. My pussy yields to him again and again as I scream
out, a willing victim to the torturous build of sexual pleasure.
 
I reach down with my left hand and grab
onto the strength of his left thigh, pressed hard against my own and moving
back and forth with every penetrating push. I arch and shove myself harder onto
him. I use all of my force to make him push deeper and deeper as the sensations
quake through me. I yell out and scream as the first sharp satisfying burst
rips me apart. He yells out loud and long, his grip tightening around my
breasts, my fingernails pressing into his skin. He yells out and growls from
the surge of his own quaking frame. He rams me harder, his body jerking out of
control, his mouth latching onto my shoulder as he pounds me. He gasps and
loosens the python-tight stranglehold he has on my ribs. I collapse my head
onto his chest and he brings his leg in, hugging mine against my body. Our
chests heave in time together. Neither of us speaks.