Illusions of Happiness (7 page)

Hovering by the vast incurving display windows of the huge Swan & Edgar store, itself darkened against Zeppelin raids, Florrie grabbed hold of Madeleine’s arm.

‘Now they look likely,’ she hissed. ‘Don’t you think?’

Everyone’s eyes discreetly followed her sidelong stare, careful not to look directly at the group of four uniformed men who had begun to slow their pace, having seen them. ‘Don’t look!’ she breathed urgently, holding one hand up to her face as if to shield her words as the soldiers began to move casually across the Circus towards them as if by one accord.

‘That’s a pity. There’s only four,’ she continued to whisper as they drew nearer. ‘Maybe they know some more friends.’

The girls spread themselves out as the young men reached them. Madeleine stood back, her eyes concentrated on the pavement, uncertain, loath to meet any of the male glances and appear forward. It had not been the way she’d been brought up.

Seeing her reaction, Dolly too moved back to stand with her. ‘Are you all right, Maddie?’ she asked. Madeleine half nodded half shook her head.

‘I’m not accustomed to picking up men. We’ve not been introduced,’ she hissed. But Dolly gave a low tinkering laugh.

‘We’re not picking them up, love. We’re just passing the time of day – or night – with them.’ She laughed at her own joke. ‘No harm in that. If we stay in a crowd no harm will come of it. They may even buy us a drink. Lord knows, we can’t afford much ourselves. Come on, love!’

But it was already too late. Standing back, they’d been ignored as the young soldiers concentrated on the four who were happy to exchange banter for banter which was growing more enthusiastic by the moment.

‘But we can’t go off without our other two friends,’ Hilda was saying. ‘We can’t leave ’em behind.’

‘Then let ’em come along,’ quipped one in a jolly tone, ‘all the more the merrier, eh?’ At which the girls giggled.

‘By the way, I’m Joe,’ he went on with a faintly East Anglian accent. ‘This ’ere is Bob, an’ Arthur an’ Stan, OK? An’ what’s your names?’

While he was being told, Dolly and Madeleine included, the soldier named Stan gave Madeleine an appreciative glance only to quickly lower his glance as her wide-eyed, guarded stare met him, making him turn hastily back to the friendlier girls, leaving her aware that she had frozen him out with what must have appeared a haughty, stand-offish response.

Beautiful features or not, striking figure or not, he was a fighting man waiting to be sent to The Front and certainly not prepared to be spurned out of hand by someone who thought herself a cut above the rest. Madeleine could almost hear him saying the words to himself. ‘Too stuck up for me!’

The trouble was, Dolly, hovering almost protectively beside her as they moved off together, was losing out too. Without her, Dolly might have been one of the lucky four. But Dolly had stayed with her and it made her feel wretched. She wasn’t enjoying this evening half so much now as they tagged along in the wake of the now giggling, wisecracking eightsome.

They were wandering down Piccadilly towards Green Park so Dolly told her.

‘That’s where the Ritz Hotel is,’ she said proudly as if she were giving a guided tour. ‘Where all the rich lot stay or have high tea and banquets.’

Madeleine had a mad idea that they might be considering going into this grand place for something to drink. Moments later she realized what a silly thought that was. These ordinary young soldiers would never have that kind of money.

Instead, long before they reached there, Joe, who seemed to be the leader with the most to say, pulled up to gaze down a side street. ‘That looks like a decent boozer, respectable-looking enough for you ladies if you don’t mind going into a public house.’

Madeleine felt herself recoil inwardly. She had never been inside a public house in her life but Bess gave a little whoop. ‘I know this place. Me and Florrie have been here before, with an escort of course – wouldn’t dare go in alone! But it’s got a snug, a saloon, and that’s quite decent for women.’

‘Come on, then,’ cried Joe, steering them into the side street towards the place, Madeleine and Dolly compelled to follow.

Inside was quite pleasant, and quiet, only a few drinkers. The noisier crowd would turn out later from cheap theatres, cafes and restaurants.

They found a secluded corner of the saloon. Joe and Arthur, after collecting their orders, went to get them, port and lemon for the women, beer for themselves. Seeing the readiness with which they were willing to pay out for their female companions, Madeleine felt that they expected later to get some reward for their generosity and was glad that none of them had singled her out. Knowing this, she now felt slightly easier.

Through the open door of the saloon flowed the deep boom of men’s voices but here it was much quieter. Sitting on a long bench by the far wall with Dolly one side, Hilda the other with Arthur’s arm already about the girl’s waist, next to them Millie being similarly mauled by Stan, she sipped her drink, glad that no one’s arm was about her waist.

Conversation flowed easily back and forth, no one noticing that she sat quietly. Seated on a chair next to Florrie, Joe had been trying to kiss her cheek which she was resisting with much giggling and wriggling.

Suddenly she leapt up almost knocking Joe sideways off his chair. Having glanced through the open door between saloon and public bar as Joe tried again to get her attention with another slobbery kiss, she burst out, ‘Oh, look! That chap in the bar, I know him!’

She leaned over the beer-stained table, calling out, ‘Coo-ee . . . Alfie! Over here! In here!’ making those in the saloon look round at her.

Moments later she was out of her seat, making for the open door, hobble skirt impeding her efforts to run.

Disappearing through the doorway, she could still be heard calling out: ‘Alfie!’ though more muffled now.

Moments later she’d returned, her arm through that of a young naval rating. Trailing behind them another young seaman, obviously a friend, was looking a little bewildered.

‘Everyone,’ she announced. ‘This is Alfie. We met quite a while ago. When was it?’ she asked, turning to him, ‘Around Christmas, wasn’t it? He was on leave. And I found out he lives in the next turning to me. We met just by accident and got talking and went out for the evening. I’ve not seen him since, have I, Alfie? Come and sit down. Your friend too. And you are . . .?’

‘George, me name’s George,’ issued the faltering reply.

‘Well, come and sit down then, George,’ Florrie piped. ‘Joe, move up, there’s a love, and give him room.’

Begrudgingly, he moved to oblige, compelled to squeeze himself on to the bench, his body so close to Madeleine’s that she found herself mentally cringing away from its imagined warmth.

‘Ain’t it wonderful though?’ Florrie continued. ‘Us short of a couple of nice chaps and along comes you two. Dolly and Maddie rather got left out so it’s really fortunate finding you two. Maddie is Dolly’s new friend and we only met her this evening but she’s ever so nice, you’ll like her.’

She stared across at Stan. ‘Be a love, Stan, and find us another chair for Alfie here.’

The extra chair having been brought, Alfie promptly occupied it to instantly fall into reminiscent conversation with her, Dolly becoming occupied with the young sailor George, leaving the cocksure Joe to remain where he was beside Madeleine.

‘Now, tell me about yourself,’ he crooned. ‘You’ve not said much so far but from what you ’ave said, I’d say you was somewhat on the posh side, well brought up like. Where d’you come from?’

Compelled to respond, she said faintly, ‘I lived in Buckinghamshire.’

‘Posh family then,’ he said. ‘Well brought up, eh.’

‘Not exactly,’ she began but broke off as his arm came about her, seeing him grin at her attempt to squirm out of the embrace.

‘You said
lived.
Then if I’ve guessed rightly, you’ve left home, run off. And now you’re free to do as you like, eh? I bet Mummy and Daddy would be horrified to see you now. Still, they’re there and you’re here and so am I. But don’t worry. I’m not going to start anything, at least not here. I’ll just tell you all about meself fer now and you can tell me all about yourself.’

Hemmed in on both sides, there was no room to stand up and walk off, and where would she go if she could? Stiff and tense she suffered his arm about her shoulders as he continued to tell her practically the whole of his life story: born in Norwich, one of eight children sleeping four to a bed in a tiny old house; hardly any schooling, had worked in a factory making jam, joined up to escape his humdrum job, seeing fighting as much more exciting, now hardly unable to wait to get into the thick of it.

‘I bet you’re edjication was somewhat more brighter than mine,’ he drawled. ‘Boarding school fer young ladies, I don’t doubt, no doubt finishing school to boot. You don’t know how damned lucky you are, love. So tell me then, why’d you decide to leave home an’ walk out on such a comfy life?’

He paused, awaiting her reply. Knowing she had to say something, she told him as best she could how she’d fallen in love with a tradesman’s son to the disapproval of her family and consequently made to leave.

He listened sympathetically, every now and again nodding intently, so much so that without realizing it, too late she heard herself touch on her horrible experience of the refuge for unmarried mothers. To her dismay he picked up on it instantly.

‘Oh, you’ve been a naughty girl then,’ he broke in, his arm tightening around her. ‘Well, who’d ’ave believe it, looking at you. Got you in the family way, did he? And left you in the lurch. No wonder you was turned out. Well, I’ll tell you this, love, I’d look after you a damn sight better than he did.’

Alarmed, Maddie tried to pull away, but his grip tightened still more. ‘I mean it, love. I’ll look after you. I always do.’ He gave a laugh. ‘No out-of-wedlock nippers if I can help it.’

Realizing instantly what he meant she turned to ask Hilda to let her out so that she could escape, only to discover that Hilda and her other two friends had already got up from their seats, all three on the point of leaving with their respective partners, saying cheerio to everyone.

The clock on the wall showed ten forty-five. A quick kiss and a cuddle would be the order of the evening, perhaps even a little fumbling before they made off to be home by eleven.

She’d not even noticed that Florrie and her rediscovered sailor friend had already gone, only Dolly left, now in deep conversation with George.

Suddenly desperate, Madeleine leapt up. ‘Dolly, I think I’d like to go home now.’

The girl turned to regard her in surprise. ‘We don’t have to be back early, love. We ain’t got people watching the clock, not like the others.’

‘But I want to go!’ From his seat Joe was regarding her with some amazement. Dolly began to look peeved.

‘Well,
I’m
not yet ready to go. You go. Joe will see you home, safely, won’t you, love?’

‘I’ll look after her OK an’ that’s a fact,’ Joe said, a strange and eager ring to his tone. ‘She’ll be safe enough in my hands, as right as rain.’

He stood up, his arm coming about her waist. ‘Get your coat, love, it’s perishing out there, but I’ll keep you warm orright.’

Hearing him, Dolly laughed. ‘I bet he will an’ all! I’ll see you later, Maddie. Enjoy yourself. Be good.’ With that she turned back to her Alfie, no doubt hoping to enjoy herself later too.

Such were the times, Madeleine realized as she stood uncertain how to escape. In the nine months since August and war breaking out bringing instant emancipation after all those years of suffragettes fighting for their rights, young women had come to feel they could do more or less as they pleased. Maybe such women had always done so, but now it was far more blatant.

Women like Dolly, taking over men’s jobs, had come into their own after so long being cherished as sweet and delicate little dears to be protected, and now saw themselves no longer bound by male protection.

Perhaps she too had joined those ranks with Freddy Dobson, totally unaware of it at the time. But now she was aware, and frightened. Women might think themselves now on a par with men but when it came to a man taking advantage, their strength could never compare. What would she do if this Joe suddenly overpowered her in some dark place on her way home? The thought made her feel sick.

‘Then I shall make my way home.
Alone
!’ she told Dolly, yanking herself free of Joe’s arm.

With Dolly staring after her, hearing her call, ‘You can’t, not alone!’ she raced in panic now for the pegs on which she’d hung her coat by the door between saloon and public bar.

Yanking the coat off its hook, aware of Joe already making after her, she was halfway through the doorway when someone appeared to step out straight in front of her almost sending her staggering sideways.

‘I do apologize, my dear!’ the person exclaimed, his hands holding on to her shoulders to keep her steady. ‘Are you hurt?’

As she shook her head, he smiled down at her. ‘You came at me in such a rush.’

‘I didn’t see you,’ she gasped, knowing that any second Joe would arrive at her side.

‘So it seems,’ the man went on in a noticeably educated voice, ‘a young lady in a desperate hurry failing to look where she was going.’

She saw him look from her to Joe who had stopped short just a few feet away. ‘Surely you were not intending to venture outside alone in the dark. You know, a young lady on her own at this time of night could easily fall prey to some unwanted company.’ Again he glanced at the young man in uniform now standing very still.

‘You really should have a reliable escort of some kind, at least to accompany you to your home or to whatever means of transport you intend to get you safely there. Do you live far outside London?’

Why he should assume that, she had no idea and without thinking gave the name of the road where she resided adding, ‘It’s between Cheapside and Bishopsgate,’ glimpsing his brief look of surprise, though why he should be surprised, she didn’t know.

‘And were you going home there by omnibus or taxicab?’ he asked evenly enough.