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“You could have told us the children were never moved,” I said, wanting to be angry with him but finding it harder by the moment.

“How was I to know that our children never told their children? We didn’t hide it from them; they knew our family was divided,” he said.

He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders. “Listen to me before you lose your temper. This is hard for you to understand because you don’t dream like the rest of us. Dreams aren’t lucid; they shift forward, backward, side to side. Sometimes you live them, sometimes you observe them, and you can have hundreds in one night. You’re asking me to put all my dreams in order; you think that they’re clear to me? That I can recall them without any uncertainty? I’m only nineteen; it would be impossible for me to have lived all those lives in detail.”

He was right: I
didn’t
know how to dream like the rest of the world. The only dreams I remember having in my entire life were the ones I had inside Evelyn’s body - and they were out of control.

“They have to be clear enough for you to believe them soundly,” I said, staring back at him.

“You’re clear; you...are...always...clear,” he said as he let his hands fall from my shoulders. “Do you want to know how I reason that this hell is reality?” he asked.

I stared back at him. He let his fingers run through the energy that was surrounding me. “Because in this life your energy, your power, is stronger than ever before - leaving me no choice but to believe that the worlds I go to in my dreams are in a distant past,” he said.

“Was Landen in that life? Did I leave him for you? Do you remember?” I asked with pleading eyes. He stared back at me and turned his head slowly from side to side. “There was another man. I had children,” I argued.

“It was Dane,” Drake said as he tightened his jaw.

“What?!”

“Why do you think I can’t stand the sight of him near you? He was the one that refused to let your children come and live with us. You cried endlessly over them, and there was nothing I could do to help you.”

Drake pointed in the direction of the study. “I can see how much he loves you,” he said. “It wasn’t clear to me until the demon stood between us.” He reached for my chest and let his hand rest where my wound was. “When you did this, I wasn’t strong enough to hold the darkness in myself so he could help you. He saw that and held it in himself so at least one of us could go to you. ”

Tears surfaced as I heard his words. “His love was strong enough to hold the demon inside of himself and strong enough to push him out – and after all that, he found the strength to heal you. He puts himself before the rest of the world. I have no choice but to respect him.”

“There’s someone that can love you the way he loves me,” I said, prepared to argue with him.

He let himself fall on the edge of the bed and buried his hands in his face. I knelt down before him. “I just want to help. For all we know, we may need her to beat this demon,” I whispered.

He looked up from his hands into my eyes; his stare reached somewhere inside my soul and pulled at me. He reached for my face and gently cradled me with his mesmerizing touch. “You are the only thing keeping me sane. You’re the only thing that’s real to me,” he said, leaning his forehead to mine.

I held my breath, afraid something was wrong. He closed his eyes, and in that second I felt his energy move inside of me. I gasped, closing my eyes as I took it in. I felt so warm, I was cold; every part of me hummed. It was powerful, addictive, blissful, and beautiful; my head started to spin, and my mind went blank – then all at once, the sensation was gone. I opened my eyes to see him staring back at me. The dark circles under his eyes had vanished.

“Do you believe me now?” he asked as his thumb traced the bottom of my eye.

I fell back on my knees and let my head fall, trying to catch my breath and make the room stand still. I felt his lips on the top of my head; his mesmerizing touch coursed through me. I looked up, hiding behind the glass of tears that wanted to fall.

I took his hand and slowly stood, finding it difficult to balance after his rush of energy. He smiled and let his hands rest on my hips, trying to help me; I gently slid them off.

“I don’t think you’re making it any better,” I said under my breath.

He sighed, and his grin grew wider. I stepped closer to the bed and sat down carefully, then laid back and closed my eyes. I was so dizzy, the room was spinning out of control. A moment later, I felt him sit down next to me.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

I opened my eyes to see him looking carefully over me. I turned my head from side to side. “I don’t want you to die,” I whispered.

“Tell me what to do, Love. My purpose in this life - in every life - is you.”

I stared at him. An impasse; that’s what we were all living in. It was as if the devil had trapped us in a web of emotions that can’t be explained. There had to be a way; there’s always a way when you have the best intentions. The people in the city, their smiles, danced in my mind. The darkness of the world beyond the wall terrified me. I felt like I was trying to redeem hell itself; without the light Delen gave the dimension, it could very well be mistaken as such a place. I pondered if there were a way to give the darkness a home and take the light to a new one.

He looked at me like I was insane. “Do you wish to leave all those who are struggling to get into this city to suffer? Save some, and betray most?” he asked.

“I’m only trying to solve what’s in front of me now; I’ll find a way to save the rest of the dimension,” I said, growing more confident with my idea.

“I don’t know of any dimension that would be large enough to take on such a mass of people, or even a place that wouldn’t terrify them; this dimension is light years behind others,” he said.

“We could save some,” I said.

“And how would you choose? Women and children? Leave their fathers and husbands behind? That’s not the answer. This is their home, and you’re teaching them to run from their fears - not face them.”

“Drake, some is better than none. They’re going to charge the wall; even if you managed to hold them back, the people who try to cross it will be executed.”

His eyes left mine and shifted from side to side. He then stood and began to pace in front of the bed, ultimately stopping and smiling down at me.

“They’ll be executed by me,” he said in an excited tone.

“Are you insane?” I said, standing - full of rage.

His hands gripped my shoulders, and his sensation swarmed through me. “Listen,” he said, capturing my eyes. “I’ll tell the court that I will personally execute anyone who strays from the life Donalt created for us, that their bodies must be banished from the world – into the string. You can find them there, then take them to Delen or wherever you wish; in the mind of the dark side of the dimension, though, they will be executed.”

“What about Delen? The war?” I asked, feeling empowered by his excitement.

“If I’m executing mass numbers of people, the court will no longer think that I’m weak. I’ll tell them that Delen wants us to attack them; they know that if we cross the wall, we’ll be demented as well. I can even order a five-hundred-mile radius around the city, claiming the ground the crops grow in is demented,” he said.

“Is that enough room?” I asked, trying to imagine the distance.

He raised his eyebrows, and his grin widened. “That’ll depend on how many people I’m forced to execute. It will buy us time - time we didn’t have when we walked into this room.”

“Will they believe you?”

He let his smile leave, then his eyes turned dark and his jaw locked. “I can be scary if I need to be,” he said, letting his smile return.

“Will you smile when I lead the executed into the string?” he asked. My smile grew wider. “Well then, I suppose I’m going to have to execute not only those who try to pass the wall - but all who show a desire to know you as well,” he said.

I reached my arms around his shoulders and hugged him as tightly as I could. I felt an overwhelming joy come through me, and I let that emotion flow through my touch. “I can feel you,” he whispered. “I want to make you feel like this all the time.”

I let my arms slowly fall from around his neck; I was afraid I was giving him false hope.

His eyes danced across my face, and his smile remained. “We should tell the others; I’m interested to see what Alamos thinks about our resolution,” Drake said. He then took my hand and led me back to the others, back to Landen.

Chapter Eighteen

The closer we got to the study, the more intensely I could feel the emotions of the room; with the exception of August, Chrispin, and Olivia, my family was angry with me and Landen. The doorway to the study was in sight, and I saw Landen appear in the threshold and begin to walk in our direction. I looked up at Drake and saw that he was looking down at me. I let a small smile come across my face; when he saw it, he grinned and a sparkle came to his dark eyes. We stopped and waited for Landen to reach us. When he did, he reached his hand out for me to come to his side. I stepped forward and wrapped my arm around him; when he felt my peace, a relieved smile brought his dimples to life.

“You both look better,” Landen said, looking from me to Drake.

Drake nodded. “I think we have a solution that will buy us some time.”

“
He wants to talk to me alone,”
Landen thought.

I nodded and looked back at Drake, then up at Landen before I walked past them. I was feverish about stepping into the swarm of emotions that were stirring in the study, and I walked as slowly as I could, hoping that Landen and Drake’s discussion wouldn’t be long. When I reached the threshold, I found the entire room staring at me. Dane walked to my side, then reached down, grabbed my legs and threw me over his shoulders.

“This is for your own good,” he said, turning to go to the opposite doorway. Chrispin and Brady moved to block him, but Clarissa pushed against Brady.