Intentional (6 page)

Jeremy

I’m losing control; I can feel it slipping away. I’ve tried to hide my control issues from the women I’ve dated, but Mattie figured it out right after she walked through my door. My house reflects my life—clean and orderly. Ever since I was a child, I’ve needed everything to be in its place, including relationships. I know this is something I need to work on. This feeling, though, of being in total control and then having absolutely none, is unsettling.

I look over at Mattie watching her favorite movie,
Pride and Prejudice
. She has a faraway look on her face, and she’s smiling. I haven’t been paying very much attention to the movie; I’ve been too consumed with the kiss we shared earlier. My body is burning for her. I want to touch her so much, it’s taking everything in me to stay on the other side of the sofa. I ask myself again,
What is happening to me?

Mattie looks over. “Do you want some popcorn?” I’ve been caught staring at her, again. I wonder what she’s thinking.

“No, I’m good.” I don’t trust myself to get any closer to her.

She smiles back at me and asks, “So, do you like the movie?”

I’m not sure how to answer this question; I think I’ve listened to about two sentences so far. I say, “Yeah, it’s great.” I’m telling the truth; I do think it’s great—I just haven’t seen much of it. She looks happy as she continues to watch.

I have a plan in place to make sure I don’t get carried away again. I’m not going to touch Mattie until she’s safely in her car. I have her securely belted in, her window open. I look down at her beautiful blue eyes sparkling with mischief. She’s waiting for her kiss!

I repeat to myself,
Make it quick, make it quick
. I really don’t want her to get the wrong impression of me. I have such strong feelings for her, much more than physical.

I lean down and plan to press my lips lightly on hers. I do, but as soon as our lips touch, Mattie lets out a sound. It’s between a moan and a sigh. That sound does something to me. I need more. Before I know what I’m doing, I have my hand around the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. Her tongue reaches out tentatively and touches mine, just slightly, but it could have been a jolt of electricity by the way my body reacts.

Forget reason. Forget control. I unbuckle her seat belt and lift her effortlessly out of her car. Right now, all I need is to feel her body against mine.

I have her up against her car in the most all-consuming kiss of my life. I know I need to stop, but I can’t. She’s going to need to do it, because there is no way I am going to be able to end this.

Mattie takes a step back. I reach for her—I don’t want to stop! Shit! I’ve done it again. I’m giving myself a mental lashing, and I realize that she’s talking to me.

I lose focus for a minute before I hear the words “I’m a virgin.” She did not just say that. How could this be? I ask her bluntly and she laughs, telling me something to the effect of just saying no. I want to know why—what was she waiting for?

Her next answer erases any doubt about my feelings for her. She replies, “I think I was waiting for you.”

I watch as Mattie’s car disappears around the bend in the road. I am feeling a mixture of desire and frustration. I think this may be a long wait.

I walk into the house and head toward the shower. I’m going to need it cold again. Thinking of Mattie, I smile as the realization hits me. For the first time in my life, I don’t mind waiting. She’s worth it.

Chapter 6

February

Mattie

“Spa day! Wake up, Sarah!” Sarah groans as she pulls the covers over her head. “Why did you have to make it so early?”

I laugh. “It’s not early. It’s nine o’clock a.m., and our appointments are at ten. We have a full day of pampering. Let’s get started!”

I called last week and booked the Circle of Beauty package at the Sedona New Day Spa. We’ll be treated to an ultra-moisturizing body wrap, a hydrating collagen facial, a manicure and pedicure, and the Sedona Secret Garden treatment. It will be five hours of bliss.

I decide that jumping on Sarah’s bed for a few minutes, followed by a steaming cup of coffee, is the perfect way to get her going. She laughs at my antics and finally rolls out of bed.

We make it to our appointment right on time. We enter the beautifully appointed facility and give our names to the impeccably coiffed girl working at the front desk. The perks of working at a spa!

As we wait for our first treatment, the body wrap, I look over at Sarah. She still looks a little tense to me; I hope she enjoys today and is able to relax. I ask, “So, how is work going?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I guess okay. I think they’re happy with my work so far. I haven’t had any complaints.”

I smile back at her. “I knew they’d love you. How could they help it?” She smiles. There it is, finally. Sarah has such a beautiful smile. I knew this day would be good for her.

I lean over and give her a hug. “It’s good to see you happy.”

She shakes her head. “Everyone can’t be like you.” I look at her, surprised. She continues, “It’s just that you always seem to be happy, even if things are going wrong. I’m a little more realistic with my moods.”

Oh. Well, I guess I need to tone it down a bit. “I hope I’m not annoying you.”

Sarah looks at me, pauses, and says, “Of course not. You’re my best friend. Being around you does help me. You won’t let me stay in a bad mood for too long. We’ve always complemented each other that way.” That’s good. I was worried for a moment. Sarah’s moods can be
dark sometimes. I don’t mind, though—we’ve been through a lot together. We’ll always be there for each other.

We separate for our individual treatments. Yes, I think I’ve gone to heaven. I don’t know how Sarah feels, but I’m loving this.

When we meet in the garden room for our manicure and pedicure, I ask, “How did your treatments go?”

“Wonderful,” she replies. It’s just the answer I hoped for. I relax as the nail technician starts on my toes.

Sarah looks over at me. “So, you haven’t been talking about Jeremy. Does that mean you’ve come to your senses?” Oh no, I do not want to have this conversation now. The reason I haven’t mentioned Jeremy to Sarah is that the topic seems to stress her out. This day is all about relaxing and enjoying ourselves.

I answer, “Let’s not talk about that right now. Can we just agree to disagree for now?”

Sarah straightens up. “What do you mean? Oh my God, Mattie! When you stopped talking about him, I assumed you dumped him. Have you gone out with him again?”

I take a deep breath. We had four hours to relax. Hour number five is not looking too good. “Yes.”

I see her shaking her head. I can tell she’s trying to calm herself. I have to stop this before it becomes a big issue. “Sarah, I know you’re upset because you care about me. I feel protective about you too. I’ll be careful, I promise. Please don’t worry so much about me.”

Sarah answers, “This isn’t going to end well—you know that, right?”

I feel my stomach drop. No, I’m not going to let her influence me. I reply, “How about we just enjoy the rest of our day?”

Sarah looks frustrated. “You usually listen to my advice. Why aren’t you this time?”

I consider her question. “I’ve never felt this way, Sarah. It’s hard to explain. I’m feeling things with Jeremy that I’ve never experienced before. I think I might be in love with him.”

I know my answer might make things worse, but I want her to know because she’s my best friend.

Sarah leans back, putting her hands over her face. “Jeremy is not the man for you. I know you like to try to fix things, especially people. You can’t fix a cheater. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You are letting things go too far. Mattie, you need to break things off now.”

I’m upset. “How do you know that Jeremy is a cheater? Office gossip? So, are you telling me that I should base my future on what someone says, not what I know? I’m not going to end this relationship because of a rumor.”

She looks at me with concern. “I wanted to warn you before it’s too late.”

I know deep down what my answer will be. “It’s already too late, Sarah.”

Chapter 7

February

Jeremy

We plan our next date at the new water park that opened last month. Big Water Sun Splash is one of Mattie’s biggest clients, so she really wants to go check it out. This is the perfect opportunity for her to meet my sister, Kaye, and my two nephews. Kaye and I are extremely close, and I’m really looking forward to introducing her to Mattie. Unfortunately, our parents are traveling around Europe, so I’ll have to wait on introductions until they get home in a few months.

We enter the water park and look around. This place is huge, and very crowded. It looks like Mattie’s ad campaign is a whopping success.

Just as I’m starting to think that I’ll never find my sister, she appears with my two nephews—Justin, age eight, and Jordan, age eleven—in tow. They are beyond excited. They each grab one of my arms and try to drag me to the big slide.

“Hold up a minute, guys! I can’t go until I introduce you to Mattie.”

They look over at Mattie and shout, “Hi!” then turn to me and say, “Can we go now?” It looks like we’ll need to do the proper introductions after a few trips down the slide.

Mattie laughs and says, “Go on! Have fun. We’ll see you later.”

I turn to my sister. “Kaye, this is Mattie. Mattie, Kaye.”

I have enough time to shout, “Sorry!” as I’m being dragged away.

Mattie

As we enter the water park, I immediately start searching for Jeremy’s sister. It’s our fourth date, and I’m already meeting his family—well, part of his family. The weird thing is, it feels like a natural progression because our relationship has moved so quickly in such a short time. If we aren’t on an actual date, we’re talking on the phone, emailing, or texting.

I scan the crowd for a woman with two children. I know she has to be a knockout, with a brother like Jeremy. I see two young boys making a dash toward Jeremy. They’re yelling, “Jeremy, Jeremy, let’s
go on the big slide!” He is laughing, trying to stop them from dragging him away. He tries to introduce me to them, but I don’t get much more than a quick “Hi!” before they try to pull him away again.