Intentions - SF9 (5 page)

"I don't want to say anything that I'll regret," Ryan ground out through her clenched teeth.

"I'd rather have you say something rude than leave me right now. Really." There was a look of abject begging in her eyes, and Ryan acquiesced.

"All right. I'll try to be polite." She sat down across from Jamie, feeling too hurt to be close.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Jamie admitted. "I need to work those fears out on my own. Telling you everything probably isn't a good idea." She looked very sad as she said this, and Ryan immediately felt bad about her reaction.

"No, I got carried away," she admitted. "I shouldn't get so upset when you're just trying to work something out for yourself. I have to show you a little more patience." Ryan's head dropped, and Jamie crossed the room to sit next to her.

"Is it okay if I sit here?" She was feeling a little tentative, but knew that they always processed things better if they could stay close physically.

"Yes. Of course. Sorry I got angry. It just hurts me when you say things like that, Jamie, and I react by getting angry."

"That's understandable," Jamie nodded, upset with herself for wounding her partner. "I wouldn't like it if you had said the same thing to me." She sighed heavily and added, "I think there's still a part of me that feels morally superior because I've been sexual with so few people." She leaned back against the wall and said, "It's not a part of myself that I'm proud of."

"Understandable," Ryan sighed, realizing that Jamie might feel that way given the negative messages she had received about sex while growing up.

"No, it's not, Ryan. It's a part of myself that I want to change. It doesn't come out very often, but it's destructive for us when it does. I mean, I know that it's coming up now because of my father, but that's no excuse. Really, it isn't."

Ryan finally smiled at her, sliding an arm around her as she did so. "Let's call a truce, Babe. I know that I'll always be faithful to you. You can have your doubts, but do me a favor and try not to tell me about them unless you really have to, okay?"

"Okay," Jamie said quietly, resting her head on Ryan's shoulder. "I don't have doubts about you, Ryan. Really I don't. I'm just confused when I try to figure out how someone I'd always looked up to could have been so duplicitous. If I could have been so thoroughly fooled, I wonder about my ability to judge people and their behavior."

"That really does make sense," Ryan said softly. "I'm sure my foundations would be shaken if I found out that Da had cheated on my mother. I'll try to keep that in perspective, Jamers."

"I think little things like this will come up for a while, Hon. I'll just do my best to talk to Anna about it rather than hurting your feelings."

"Deal," Ryan said, leaning over for a kiss to seal the bargain.

"Ready for bed?" Jamie asked. "You must be beat after your match tonight. You really played up a storm."

Ryan stretched-sticking her arms straight out to ease some of the stiffness that had settled in her shoulders. "I am tired, but I need a little connection tonight," she said, drawing her finger down her partner's thigh in a simple pattern. As she spoke, she expanded the territory that she covered, moving a little higher, into more sensitive spaces.

"What kind of connection were you thinking of, Sweetheart?" Jamie cocked her head playfully and began to trail her finger down the tasty-looking cleavage that was so conveniently located.

"Well, we're almost naked…we're already a little sweaty…we're alone, and no one will disturb us…I think this would be a perfect place to connect a little bit, don't you?"

"Oooh…you want the intimate kinda connection," Jamie said, playfully acting obtuse.

"That's my favorite kind," Ryan whispered. "I'm just a little afraid that we'll have a stroke if we stay in here. It's cooled down, but it's still pretty hot."

"Oh, there are plenty of places we could go in here if you want to stay. Let's go use that fabulous shower to cool down a little bit. Then I can heat you up anywhere you wish."

They spent a long, leisurely time in the shower, letting the warm water wash away some of the lingering tension that their little squabble had created.

"Oooh…perfect," Jamie smiled when they re-entered the sauna. It was warm, but dry, reminding her of sub-Saharan Africa on a nice spring day. Turning to Ryan, she cocked her head and asked, "Will you be comfortable here?"

Ryan arranged the cushions on the long, wide teak bench, nodding thoughtfully to herself. "Looks great," she decided as she spread a slightly damp towel over the cushions. She lay down on her side, moving against the wall to allow her partner plenty of room to join her. As she patted the cushion invitingly, Jamie lay down next to her, moving up until their faces were level.

"I'm really sorry for being so rude earlier," Jamie said softly. "You don't give me any reason to doubt you. I'm just struggling."

"I understand," Ryan soothed as she tenderly brushed the damp hair off her forehead. "You've had your moorings rocked. It will take you a while before you trust yourself again."

Jamie nodded, her smile growing as she took in Ryan's comment. "You really understand," she sighed. "It's not you that I doubt…it's myself, and my judgment."

"I do understand. I just have to remind myself that this is an internal struggle for you and doesn't reflect what you feel about me. That's hard sometimes," she admitted. Her big blue eyes blinked shyly as she said, "My feelings get hurt."

Wrapping her arms around her partner, Jamie kissed her gently and said, "I know, Sweetheart. I hate to hurt you, but I know that I do sometimes." She gazed at her somberly and promised, "I never mean to hurt you, Ryan. I swear."

"Oh, Jamers, I know that," Ryan soothed. "Neither of us wants to hurt the other, but we've hurt each other before, and we'll hurt each other again. It's unavoidable. What matters is that we try to learn from it."

"I've learned that I love you very, very much," Jamie said softly, her eyes beginning to tear at the emotion she felt flowing from her heart. "You're my life, Ryan."

Moving closer, the dark woman smiled gently and tenderly kissed every hint of a tear from the misty green eyes that she loved so much. "Sometimes it's almost too much, isn't it," she asked rhetorically. "It feels like your heart might just burst."

Jamie nodded, a smile showing through the tears that continued to fall. "It's too much sometimes," she agreed. "But it's a good too much."

"Yeah," Ryan smiled, her voice low and warm. "That's the perfect way to put it." As Ryan spoke, her head dipped just enough to allow her to kiss her partner, trying to reveal the depths of her love through the gentleness of her touch. One kiss became many as the passion that so often lurked just under the surface of Ryan's personality started to flare.

Soon she was fully astride her smaller partner, her body moving sensually against Jamie's as the kisses covered her face and neck. Jamie felt like she was standing naked in the simmering desert heat, with cool, fat drops of life-giving rain touching her parched skin.

Lifting her head to breathe, Ryan met Jamie's unfocused gaze. "I've been putting this off for as long as I can," she whispered, her own eyes filled with wanton desire. "I don't know why, but I'm completely fixated on your breasts today." She shifted her body just enough to allow her tongue to reach the flesh. Her head hovered just over the normally pale skin, now pink from the heat and the lingering effects of the warm shower.

"Tell me," Jamie urged, loving to hear Ryan put words to her yearnings.

Ryan smiled, and said, "It started when you got out of the shower this morning. I don't know why, but I had a very hard time stopping myself from taking your bra off as soon as you put it on." Her shoulders shrugged slightly as she admitted, "I don't know what the reason was…I just needed to have my mouth on one of those little beauties."

"They're always interested in visitors," the smaller woman chuckled. "You should have dropped in."

"No time." Ryan shook her head roughly. "I didn't want to nibble and run. I just had a feeling that I'd get carried away."

"That's one of your best traits," Jamie reminded her.

"I'm glad I waited," the dark woman said. "Now I can take my time and love them like they deserve to be loved." She placed her soft tongue at the bottom of her partner's breast and slowly licked up the warm, pink skin, passing gently over the stiffening nipple and continuing in an unbroken path until she reached the very top. Unable to resist, she nipped at the skin just above the breast, making a light mark with her teeth.

"They liked that," Jamie sighed, a shiver running down her body.

"When we were in here with Jordan and Mia, you had a nice bead of sweat that started just under your ear," Ryan related. "I watched it slide down your neck and pass through the hollow between your collar bones. It started to pick up speed when it got here," she indicated, her finger recreating the journey. "Then it stopped for just a second, just a heartbeat, really, before it slid right between your breasts." She looked up at Jamie with longing in her big blue eyes and said, "I wanted to be that lucky, lucky little drop of moisture. It was all I could do to behave myself. I wanted to tear that sexy suit off of you and nuzzle my head between your breasts until you cried for mercy."

Jamie reached down and placed her hands on the outside of the pink flesh and gently compressed it. Her eyes were blinking slowly, her desire for her partner pounding in her veins. "Jordan and Mia are gone," she whispered. "Make your dreams come true."

The soft pink tongue peeked out of Ryan's mouth, then moved sensually along her moist lips, readying them for the feast. Her head dropped as her hands covered her partner's, helping her to squeeze the sensitive flesh firmly, both women moaning in tandem as Ryan's lips captured a painfully erect nipple.

She used her mouth and her tongue and her teeth to stimulate the tender breasts in every possible way, loving them more thoroughly and with more enthusiasm than Jamie could ever remember. The sensations pulsing through Ryan's body were nearly as powerful as what Jamie experienced. Every few minutes, the dark head would have to lift so that Ryan could concentrate on her breathing just to avoid feeling lightheaded.

Jamie's hands were laced through her hair, clutching the dark woman to her breasts with reckless abandon. Her arousal was nearly painful by this point, and as much as she was enjoying the overwhelming sensations, she longed to touch her partner in the same way. Finally unable to suppress the urge, she forced Ryan onto her back and began to love her, making Ryan moan and twitch under her assault.

Their bodies were tingling, chests heaving with effort and arousal, both so sensitive that they wavered back and forth along the line between pleasure and pain.

Shifting her hips, Ryan maneuvered one of Jamie's strong thighs between her own and began to glide against her, the delicious sensation building so quickly that she barely had time to bend her head to pull a rock-hard nipple into her mouth. She sucked firmly as her climax hit her hard, flashing through her body with a frighteningly fierce intensity.

Jamie held her tight, soothing her by running a hand down her back for a few moments. She knew that Ryan needed some time to rest, but her own need was so fierce, so demanding, that she made an offer, "I'll give you a million bucks if you'll lend me your tongue for a few minutes." Ryan's low chuckle caused her to clarify. "I'm good for it, Baby. Name your price. I just need that tongue immediately!"

"You've got it," the larger woman growled, her body coming to life as she easily tossed Jamie onto her back. She was already sliding down her body as the blue eyes locked on Jamie's to assure her, "No charge."

Knowing that her lover needed satisfaction, Ryan got right down to business, focusing on loving the writhing woman into a much-needed climax. Her preference was to tease her partner until she was nearly beside herself, but she knew she could always go for another, more leisurely tour a little later in the evening.
I love having a multi-orgasmic partner. Everyone gets what they want.

After just a few minutes of Ryan's skillful ministrations, Jamie cried out loudly, her exhausted body barely able to summon the strength for respiration.

It took a substantial bit of time, but Jamie could finally speak again. Ryan rolled off of her, and she stared up at the teak ceiling, murmuring, "I love women." Ryan's chuckle make her laugh as well, and she clarified, "I love you above all women, but I love women!"

She said this so emphatically that Ryan laughed once again, turning her head to gaze at Jamie, sharing a smile. "You've just begun to plumb the depths of your new affiliation, Love. There's much, much more to come."

It was after midnight when they ran laughing across the lawn and reached the kitchen. The were both thirsty from being in the sauna for so long, even though the heat had been turned down to the lowest setting. Ryan was amazed at the assortment of beverages that the massive refrigerator held, and she had to think for a bit to decide. After chugging a 20 ounce bottle of cranberry juice, they started to make their way up to bed, holding hands as they walked towards the stairs. They stopped abruptly when a soft voice asked, "Going up to bed, girls?"

"Oh! I didn't know you were still up, Mom," Jamie said as a blush climbed up her cheeks. "We were just um…sitting in the sauna and…"