Inventing Herself (3 page)

She was blushing. Why was she blushing? But maybe this was what she needed. She needed to get
laid
. That was all. And who better to get down and dirty with than someone who knew her – her likes and dislikes – and who she was comfortable with?

Right?

‘Well, you’re seeing me, Soph. How’s stuff with you?’

‘Fine.’

Confusing …

‘Good. Glad to hear it.’

‘And with you?’ she stammered, repeating herself. She’d already asked that, but here she’d said it again. Standing this close to him she could feel the heat radiating off him even though the cold January wind was blowing. Sophie glanced up and saw the corner of a blind twitch. Not her apartment. Kevin’s. Sneaky little spy.

‘Good. Better now. Like I said.’ He chuckled, a gust of wind lifting some of his corn silk-coloured hair. She couldn’t see in the shadows of the street, but she knew his big, brown eyes would be flashing with humour. ‘So, Soph …’

‘Yeah?’ she asked, cocking her head, heart beating wildly because she knew what he was going to ask and what she was going to say.

‘Want to have a drink with me tomorrow?’ He touched her finger with his finger. Her hands felt frozen but the touch was electric. At least she’d figured it out. She just needed an old-fashioned fuck with someone she found attractive. Perfectly normal. Perfectly natural.

Everyone had needs. Everyone had urges. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Simon had started to whine and it was late. Getting later. They said goodnight, and when he took her elbow and tugged her in she let him kiss her. A nice, soft, familiar kiss that had just a touch of passion in it.

Glad I brushed my teeth! she thought and almost laughed.

‘I’ll come by and get you around seven tomorrow?’ he asked.

‘Good,’ she said and giggled just enough to embarrass herself. ‘Good, good.’

Upstairs, Simon bounded down the long, narrow hall. His paws blended in with the black, grey, and silver patterned carpeting that was surely older than Sophie herself.

She tried to sneak past, but Kevin’s door opened and he poked his head out. Inside, someone said, ‘Are you coming, or what?’ She saw him hold up a finger to the visitor. Probably some drop dead gorgeous young thing who could suck a sausage out of its casing if she knew Kevin.

‘Bad idea, Soph,’ he said, tsking at her.

‘Are you wearing lip gloss?’ she asked.

‘That is neither here nor there,’ he said archly and rolled his eyes.

‘And eye glitter?’

‘We’re doing make-up!’ the unseen person called out and then laughed.

‘I see,’ she said, hoping she could change the subject.

‘Look, don’t try that topic-switching voodoo with me, sister. That is a bad idea. You got out of that relationship fairly cleanly. No reason to fuck it up by getting all twisted up in it again. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, in this instance the horse being the Universe that granted you one blissful, benevolent break-up.’

Sophie shook her head. ‘It’ll be fine, Kevin. It’s just drinks.’

‘Your mouth says drinks but your face is all about the sex,’ he said with a flourish. ‘Speaking of sex … I have to go.’ He blew her a kiss.

As the door was shutting, the unseen man said loudly, ‘It’s about damn time. Take your pants off, boy!’

Sophie snorted. If only she were having an evening like that. But at least there was hope for tomorrow.

‘Just one more thing before bed,’ she reminded herself.

She felt stupid doing it, but determined to follow the list of suggestions. She pulled out a yellow legal pad – she’d gotten addicted to them during college so she always had a stash – and pulled out a favourite Bic blue ballpoint pen.

Dear Sophie,

Congratulations! You have everything you’ve ever wanted. So far. You have the apartment you always dreamed of, the dog you drove your mother crazy wishing for, the job you set your mind to having. You write for a living, go you!

This is for an assignment about finding your centre (no, this is not a sex joke). You’re supposed to delve into yourself and see what’s there waiting for you. Parts of you, I guess, wants and needs and hopes and fears you might not even know exist …

Sophie swallowed hard. Now that she was writing, the words were flowing and a small bit of melancholy had settled over her.

Stupid wine … Had to be the booze.

She put her head back down, pen to paper, listened to Simon snoring like a warthog.

You have discovered, though, that despite checking off all the stuff on your list of wants, there’s something else. Not to be melodramatic, self, but you seem to be missing something –

Unease unwound in Sophie. She hadn’t intended to write that part. She blew out a breath and thought, you are being melodramatic, that’s it. You just named your sin yourself.

So tomorrow you’re giving Tony another shot. It wasn’t as if he was a jerk. The sex was good. You laughed a lot. Had fun doing things together, even travelling. There was really no reason why it ended. Maybe it was a stupid mistake. Maybe Tony is that missing something …

She wrote a bit more and finally shuffled off to bed, Simon patiently on her heels. Tomorrow’s sunrise would come early and she had more work to do. If she could figure out how to handle this whole situation. Sophie did her best, as she climbed into bed, to ignore the distinct feeling that Tony was not the missing something, but just a diversion.

Chapter Four

‘Black jeans, blue jeans, no jeans,’ she muttered. Sophie jumped into the black jeans again – doing the jean shimmy-shake. They were just a touch too tight. Too many fancy coffees in the morning, she thought. Not tight enough that she felt ill, but tight enough that she’d be obsessing over them all night. How they hit her right below the belly button, was her ass popping out the back, was it giving her a roll around the middle and so on. She growled, shoved them down to her ankles, and found the blue jeans. She slid into those and turned. These were just a touch too loose.

‘Baggy ass,’ she sighed.

She knew it wasn’t true, that it was simply an illusion, but still it was gnawing on her brain – worry. She thought she shouldn’t be so worried about it if he was her destiny. Her something more.

The blue jeans hit the bed. She grabbed tan corduroys. ‘Nope.’ They hit the bed. Finally she found a pair of black velvet leggings. They’d go great with her new black leather boots. They’d keep her warm and look sleek.

Perfect.

She had just pulled her boots on and checked herself in the mirror – feeling pleased with what she saw – when the doorbell rang. Her body responded in a truly Pavlovian manner. Her pussy went wet and her heartbeat went up. Somehow she had forgotten along the way how very good the fucking had been with Tony. And now, knowing he was on the other side of that door, she was remembering.

Her insides seemed to be trembling as she reached the door. ‘Stop being a moron, Sophie,’ she hissed, grabbed the doorknob like it was hot, and turned it violently.

‘Hi!’ she said, standing there, not quite knowing what to do with herself. She’d put her dark blonde hair in two fat, but fashionably mussed, braids to keep herself from running her hands through her hair a million times the way she did when she was nervous. She tugged the end of one to focus herself.

‘Hi, Soph,’ he said. He took a step back and scanned her – his brown eyes twinkling. ‘My God, you look good enough to eat.’

Heat rushed her cheeks and she toed the carpet with her boot, still not quite knowing what to do with herself. Shouldn’t the talking be easier if he was that missing something? Shouldn’t they fall into a rhythm?

‘Thanks. You too, I mean … You know what I mean, Tony. You look good.’

He reached out and ran his finger along the velvet waistband of her leggings. His skin stroked hers exactly where her white blouse met her black pants. His touch painted fire along her midsection and Sophie heard herself give a startled little gasp.

‘Can I come in?’ he asked, breaking the spell.

If he came in they’d fall into that sex pattern. But then again, she told herself, how do you know if you don’t take the chance? Sophie grabbed his hand and tugged him toward her. ‘Sure, come in.’

Her ass hit the breakfast bar as he came in fast and fierce for a kiss. His hands gripped her waist, travelled her back, came up to find her hair tamed into braids, so he sucked her tongue roughly – rough enough to send a jittering tingle through her core – and tugged them. Tony deepened the kiss, bullying her mouth with his, and Sophie gleefully surrendered. His cock – hard and long just as she fondly remembered – rode the cleft of her pussy lips. If only they didn’t have so many annoying bits of cloth in the way.

His hands came up to stroke her breasts and tweak her nipples and she found her breath fleeing her lungs even as heat and moisture pooled readily between her legs.

God, they were good together – at least this way.

She pushed the thought away and plunged her fingers into his thick, pale hair. She tugged just a little and Tony grunted, gripping her hips and hoisting her up on the bar so her bottom hit the pale aqua countertop. He stepped in between her legs and worked the buttons of her pretty white blouse.

‘I’ve missed you, Soph.’

She said nothing, just watched his full lips skim across her breasts through her blouse. She hadn’t really missed him per se. When she’d seen him, she’d remembered their chemistry and wanted to re-experience it. If that fit in with the definition if
missing
then so be it.

His teeth plucked at her nipples through the bra he’d just exposed by parting her blouse. His hands – tan and rough from working outside as a landscaper – skimmed her skin. Her belly fluttered visibly from his gentle touch. Sophie moaned, hearing herself as if from a distance, but not taking her eyes from his mouth on her. The visual was almost as good as the sensation.

Tony tugged down a cup of her bra and sucked the rosy tip into his mouth. The heat and moisture of his mouth made her knees feel weak and she was thankful she was sitting. He pulled the other cup down, bit a soft line down the slope of her other breast before capturing that neglected nipple in his mouth. He tugged at her flesh so that the thump and bang of her arousal echoed through her stomach and low into her pelvis. Her pussy was plump and needy – she could feel her own urgency ramping up.

Sophie grabbed his broad shoulders, kissing him back fiercely. The last two days had been confusing and she’d thought things that made her feel odd and uncomfortable. But at that moment, she felt anything but uncomfortable. Her attraction to Tony was familiar. Their heat – their compatibility – a comfortable thing.

She kissed him, sucking his tongue the way she would his cock until he made that desperate, gruff sound men made when they were turned on. She yanked at his shirt, moving her hands up under the blue fabric to find the taut, warm expanse of his belly. She curled her fingers to the hair that led from navel to cock. Stroking it suggestively, she let him wonder when she would touch him. How she would touch him.

He grabbed her ass, hauling her toward him, her velvet pants sliding with a sultry whisper along the countertop. Sophie wrapped her legs around his waist, opening her sex to him even though she still had her pants on. The rough stroke of his erection to her pussy stole her breath.

‘I really did intend to take you for that drink,’ he said, finally giving in and unhooking her bra before removing it and tossing it over her shoulder. It hit the floor with barely a sound.

‘I really did intend to drink it,’ she said, slipping her fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans, stroking more of that hair. Her fingers slipped back and forth on his skin just above his pubic hair. She could feel the increased heat of him there above his dick.

‘Can we move this to the bedroom?’ He didn’t wait for an answer, simply placed a nearly chaste kiss between her breasts. The unexpected chivalry made her blush. Then he hauled her up and she clung to him tight as he walked them to the bed.

Her bare breasts were smashed to his shirt, and even with that thick cotton barrier between them she could feel the bang of his heart. He dropped to the bed with her straddling him. Before she could think to take control, he moved swiftly, catching her in his momentum. Tony smiled down at her, his fingers smoothing over the skin on her midriff. Shivers sprang up and rushed across her skin.

‘Hi, Soph,’ he said.

‘Hi.’ She laughed.

Then no one said anything because he was pulling off her boots, tugging at her pants, and watching her intently. Sophie wrestled with his shirt and managed to get it off so she could touch his warm, smooth skin. Tony flung her leggings across the room and growled when he came across the small black underpants she wore. Silk.

‘Panties,’ he breathed. ‘Nice.’

‘I hate that word.’ She laughed. ‘Knickers.’

‘Whatever. Take them off.’

She obeyed, feeling yet another slow, warm slide of fluid between her legs. Her hands shook and she kept chewing her bottom lip she was so far gone. She wanted him in her. She wanted him moving. She wanted to come and have someone kissing her and touching her and holding her when it happened.

Tony broke that thought by kissing her roughly. His hands cradled her head and he rubbed his cock along the split of her nether lips.

He slid down her body with practiced ease. They knew each other very well; the sex had always been stellar, fun and productive. No one ever left unhappy.

His fingers slid into her easily, testing and penetrating. He stroked in and out, looking up at her face from between her thighs. His thumb pressed steadily on her thrumming clit. Sophie arched up to get him deeper, her fingers bunching the bedsheets. She struggled for breath as he thrust deeper, hooking his fingers to find the most sensitive places in her. When his mouth replaced his thumb she hummed low in her throat and then laughed at herself.

‘I want you good and wet. Really, really wet, Soph. So why don’t you come for me before I fuck you, OK?’

‘Yes, yes, fine,’ she said. Her voice was barely a puff of air. Her words sounded so put upon but her tone spoke volumes. Whatever he said. Anything he wanted. She heard him chuckle, the vibration of his amusement rumbling through her pussy lips and into her flexing cunt.

Her upper thighs were drenched she was so wet, so slick, so …

He sucked hard on her clitoris and shoved a third finger into her, fucking her with that broad bundle of digits. He lapped at her, his tongue painting thick, wet strokes over her nether lips and clit. He paused for a second, not licking, just sliding his fingers in and out so that she arched up to take him and accommodate his flexing fingers. Then, after a brief respite, Tony set his mouth back to her and flicked his tongue brilliantly and Sophie came, voice bouncing around her small lavender bedroom like a trapped bird.

Tony kissed her thighs, her belly, her hipbones. ‘Now about that fucking …?’ he said and she spread her legs for him to come between her thighs.

‘Yes, please.’ Sophie smoothed her palm down his belly and found him with her hand. She curled her fingers around his erection and stroked him.

‘That’s nice.’

‘It’s nicer inside,’ she whispered, moving up to kiss his chest, lick one nipple and then the other. ‘All warm and wet and soft.’

He groaned and rolled his eyes back. ‘You play dirty, Sophie.’

‘Dirty is good,’ she said, pushing the head of his cock against her slit. She slid it back and forth in her wetness, teasing her opening with his cockhead. ‘Dirty is so, so good. Wanna see?’

He grunted once, grabbed a condom from the nightstand and rolled it on. He nipped her collar bone with his nice, white teeth, and slid into her slowly. Stretching her slowly. Filling her up. Sophie gripped him; his hot skin rippled under her fingers as he moved. She kissed him, using her tongue, biting his lip, sucking at his mouth as she moved up to take him deeply.

‘Jesus, Soph –’ He shoved his hands under her ass and tilted her the way he needed her. His hips rocked back and forth and the base of his cock brushed against her clit, giving her stimulation she needed. She came, hooking her ankles behind his back to trap him to her. Her pussy gripped up tight around him as spasm after spasm hit her.

His breath rushed out as he slowed his pace a little. Just enough to let her recover and keep him from coming. He kissed a trail along her shoulders and she shivered.

‘Turn over,’ he growled, when she found her breath.

Tony pulled free and helped her turn with a big hand under her. He smoothed his hands along her ass, sliding a finger down her crack, touching her back hole briefly so she yelped. ‘Don’t worry.’ He laughed. ‘Just saying hi.’

He moved up behind her, stroking her lower back seductively. She relaxed into his touch as he continued to touch her. His breath rained down hot and heavy on her back. He was so turned on he was barely talking.

‘You still have the finest ass on the planet,’ he told her.

‘You’re just saying that.’

‘I’m saying it because it’s true.’ Tony bumped himself up against the back of her and stroked his cock along her split.

Sophie gripped the sheet, anticipating his penetration. It didn’t come. He just kept sliding his skin along hers until she hung her head and growled.

‘Tony!’

‘Hmmm? Did you want something?’ He chuckled darkly and then, while she was busy being semi-annoyed with him, he plunged deep. His cock bumped her G-spot and he gripped her hips tight and started to move.

Sophie bent her body, pushed her face to the sheets, and moved back to take him. His thumb played along her asshole and she let it. He smeared some of her moisture around her there and plunged his thumb into her tightest place.

It added to her pleasure, ramping it up until she was lost to anything but the pulsing heat between her thighs and the body filling hers.

‘Come for me one more time, Sophie. I think if that sweet cunt ripples around me I’ll be done for. I’ll come like I haven’t come in ages.’

Her fingers – trembling but intent – moved over her clit. She stroked with a heavier touch than she normally would. Her body needed the intensity. Her pussy drew up tight, tighter and tighter still until she felt like she might burst apart into a million shards of light. He thrust his thumb deeper and surged into her, brushing her G-spot once more at that perfect moment. She came with a loud cry, burying her face in the sheets, but still her noise burst free.

‘Fuck me,’ he grunted and held her steady for one more deep thrust. And then he came, pulling out at the last moment and yanking the condom off the way he always did, to splash his come over her lower back. Tony dragged his cock through the wetness on her skin to paint it along her ass cheeks. Sophie laughed.

‘I’d forgotten you liked to do that.’

‘It’s quite the visual,’ he said and leant in to kiss the middle of her back. ‘Could I persuade you, Sophie, to let me shower and then I’ll make us a drink.’

‘And we could order Chinese,’ she said.

‘We could.’

It was going to be good, she thought, sinking to her belly. A nice evening with a man she shared huge chemistry with and was familiar with. The comfort made it almost easy for her to ignore the fact that now the sex had been had, she knew deep down that this was fun – it was good – but it was not the missing thing in her.