Just Tell Me (The Justice Series) (18 page)

She looked at his
words and her heart was in her mouth as she read it again. 
Catch up?
What like old friends?
Was he having a laugh? She read the others.

NICOLE, ITS DANIEL AGAIN, PLEASE RING?
 

She could sense his change in mood as she read the last one, and her heart plummeted.

PLEASE RING ME NICOLE, I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU. DANIEL

Nicole
looked at the dates, it was a few days ago since he last messaged her, she would ring him, but just needed to choose the right time. She needed to make sure she was mentally strong enough to talk to him without breaking down into tears, she thought about it as she bent down on the floor for her trainers. Mental clarity was required and she needed to run, with music. She needed to listen to Depeche Mode, she hadn’t listened to them since the night with Daniel as the memories of their shared love of the band was too much. 

Something had changed inside her
, just knowing he had contacted her, she felt as though she was floating and she stopped as she flicked through her CDs. The voice in her head screamed its delight at her. The change was Daniel, back in her life, just like that. She found her old portable CD player and pressed play on the songs she needed. As she made her way to the park her feet hit the grass she started running, the music filled her ears and she felt herself disappearing into another world. She felt as though she was flying as she ran faster than she had ever done before, something was going to happen. She could feel it, anticipation coursed through her veins. For as long as she thought she would never see Daniel again, she had lived in limbo and now it was like he had liberated her.

She felt free, like a child again and she was smiling as it started to rain, the water ran into her eyes and she stood and looked up at the sky.  She felt empowered and in charge of the situation at last, she would ring
Daniel tonight, she decided, once George had settled down in his cot for a few hours and she had some time to deal with him.

Chapter 15

As Nicole was running through the park, Daniel was sat in Milan Airport looking at his mobile phone; he was waiting for his flight home after two days discussing Italian property prospects. He flicked through his messages, looking at the ones he had sent Nicole, he wished she would ring him and he rang her number again. It rang out and he stared at the phone, it had been answer machine for so long he wasn’t expecting it to ring but he felt deflated as the call went unanswered.  It had been weeks since Alex finally caved in and told him the truth.
Where was Nicole?
 

His mind went back
to the moment Alex had given him Nicole’s number. She had avoided seeing him since Valentines Day and he rang her several times, concerned his friend didn’t want anything to do with him. She had seen him at his worst and he knew it hadn’t been easy, he had stayed clean for weeks not even allowing himself the occasional glass of wine. He felt happier than he had in a while, he felt he could manage his drinking and Daniel asked if they could meet in a coffee shop. 

Alex w
as taken aback by the location, the Daniel she thought she knew would have met in a wine bar. She felt terrible keeping the secret of Nicole from him but didn’t know how he would deal with it. He was already sat down when she walked into the café, the door tinkled as she opened it. She smiled over at her friend, he stood up and hugged her and ordered another coffee. 

“It’s so good to see you Alex” he said “I was worried you were upset w
ith me”.

Alex looked at
her friend’s crestfallen face “God no, I’m sorry Daniel I was just so busy with work, and well… I thought you might need some time, you know to recover.”  She continued “I was really worried about you Daniel, you are one of my best friends but you were out of control, I really think you might benefit from seeing someone, you know, someone who can help you”  She said this part quietly and Daniel looked at her in alarm.

“Alex, I don’t have a problem, I just… well I don’t know what happened but I’ve not touched a thing since that night I promise” he felt a little defensive about her suggestion tha
t he needed professional help. He knew he could drink too much and he felt depressed from time to time, but he always put that down to external influences rather than something coming from himself. He looked out of the window, unsure what to say next, there was an atmosphere between them, a void of unspoken words.

Alex broke the silence “Daniel I’ve got something to tell you, and I’m n
ot sure how you will take it, OK?” he looked at her, alarmed at what she was going to tell him and Alex wished she was somewhere else. She suddenly didn’t know how to put it into words, Daniel stared at her, his eyes searching hers and he worried it was something life threatening.

“
Just tell me” he said, his forehead creased with concern as he spoke the words and Alex took a breath.

“That night in the club when
you passed out” she continued “A guy helped us, he knows Nicole. He was a friend of hers”

She looked at her friends eyes and his eyes darkened, he looked out of the window again, his face crossed with pain “Alex I told you, that’s history, I don’t want to hear it” he looked uncomfortable and Alex grabbed his hand.

“No Daniel you don’t understand, he’s her friend.  He said she’s heartbroken”. 

Daniel looked back round at her,
as he realised what she meant “He said she was a mess emotionally and that she wasn’t thinking straight” Alex continued, treading carefully not sure where this would lead “He said she would love it if you got in contact with her”

D
aniel gave a humourless laugh “Yeah right” he muttered sadly and Alex squeezed his hand tighter.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?  See this is why I didn’t want to say anything to y
ou at the time, well look I got Nicole’s number so maybe you need to get in contact with her and see if you can salvage anything”. 

Daniel was silent, his mind was in a whirl,
God I need a drink
. He looked at the coffee cup, his knuckles were as white as the cup and he relaxed his grip. He looked at his friend, he couldn’t contain his feelings “You were the one who told me to leave it in the past” he could feel the emotion coursing through his body. “So what the hell am I supposed to do now?”

Alex was annoyed at his reaction and she stood up “
Daniel, don’t take it out on me! You just need to sort it out, if she was as special to you as you said she was then just go for it, take control of your life”. She grabbed her bag off the chair and finished her coffee, her face softened “Look I love you to bits Daniel, I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk to me in a rational manner” she passed him a piece of paper with a mobile number on it “It’s your call sweetie” her voice softened and she lent over and kissed his cheek.

Daniel sat in the coffee shop for a while
after Alex had left, staring at the mobile number in his hand. Alex had written NICOLE in capital letters and he stared at the words, even her name written on the paper was almost too much, he didn’t know what to do next.  He finally took a sip of his coffee and realised it was cold. 

He stood up,
tucked the piece of paper in his jacket pocket and walked back to the office, it was humid and he slackened his tie and unfastened the top button of his shirt.  He needed to get home, the city was choking him and he found his phone and rang his driver, unable to focus enough to drive. 

H
is driver pulled up outside and he closed his eyes as he sunk into the leather seat, the sound of the engine calming his nerves, all he could think about was Nicole.  They hadn’t spoken enough about what had gone on between them, but the way she had held him, her contradictory longing for him. He had felt their emotional exchange. That awful note, each word had stung him. He couldn’t just ring her out of the blue like this, what would he say?

He couldn’t make the phone call an
d speak to her, not just yet, he opened his phone, quickly wrote a text message and pressed send.  His heart was beating quickly as he put his phone back in his pocket.  It was done; he just had to wait for her to reply,
if she would reply
.  He thought of what he had said during the Single and Loaded interview and felt ashamed. He hoped now she had never watched it, exposing their intimacy like that on national television.  He was pleased when he finally got home and he asked his driver to return his Audi back to his house. As he opened the door, his hand was already unfastening his shirt, and he ran upstairs to get changed. Enough corporate bullshit for one week, he found a clean polo top and some jeans and pulled them on. 

The urge for
a drink was powerful and he looked at himself in the mirror.
Get a grip Daniel
he told his reflection and he picked up his phone to check his messages.  His phone stared back at him silently and he put it back in his pocket, he would ring her, he just needed a drink first. A small one to calm his nerves that was all. He went downstairs and pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured himself a glass, he felt like he had woken up from a dream, he sat down on his sofa and looked at his phone again. 

The memories from the time they had spent together flooded back to haunt him, he had blocked it from his memory but now it was like a door had opened.  He had tried to deny it was anything more than a fling, but the way she made him feel so alive and so happy, he knew he would never find a
nyone that came close to her. He poured himself another glass and decided to ring again, his hands were clammy as he dialled the number.  It went straight to answer machine and he heard her voice for the first time in a year

“H
i this is Nicole Shaw, please leave a message after the tone, thank you”. 

He cancelled the call, his heart was in his mouth
. Her voice was clear in his head, he had forgotten how she sounded. It was high and soft with a slight Manchester accent but it was her. 

He closed his eyes and ran her number again to listen to her voice
, the effects of the wine was already taking over, his phone beeped at him making him jump. It was just Alex checking up on him.  Stay sober, her text message told him and she was right, he didn’t want to talk to Nicole when he was a drunken mess.

Daniel knew she was right and he didn’t want anymore wine, he didn’t w
ant to drink his way through this afternoon. If Nicole did ring he wanted to be clear headed, not slurring. He decided to go and see his parents, he hadn’t seen them for a while and just wanted some company. A distraction from the endless waiting for a call.  

He walked up to the castle, his gatehouse was the entrance to the original driveway, it was long abandoned as a road but he knew the track well as he walked through
the woods. The old gravel track was slowly being eaten by nature, as he stepped over broken tree trunks, his footfalls were cushioned by years of leaves falling on the ground. The air was clean in the wood, the sound of birdsong and his footfalls were the only sounds he could hear as he headed up to the castle. His parents were sat outside, near the drawing room, the doors leading onto the large terrace were open.  They were clearly enjoying the early evening sunshine and drinking a jug of something light green.

“Daniel darling” his mother stood up and
walked over to her son “Sit down, have a drink” she sat back down at the table and picked up a bell. “See we have a new system” she rang the bell loudly and a couple of minutes later a short portly woman appeared from the doorway. She looked harassed and certainly not impressed at being called outside, “Jean will you get another glass for my son” 

Daniel crin
ged as the woman glared at him and stomped back inside “Who is that?”  He whispered to his mother, the days of daily staff had gone years ago.

“She’s the n
ew cook” his mother explained “We were having some many dinner parties we decided it would be more economical to employ a full time cook”. 

Daniel felt sorry for the cook who had probably taken the professional chefs job at the castle and wasn’t expecting to be the maid.  Jean came out and slammed a glass on the table, she gave Daniel a thin
smile as he looked up at her “Thank you Jean”.  He looked at his father who was smiling at the view, oblivious to his wife’s new obsession. He was looking older, his hair was almost completely grey, he had lost weight and he looked like an old man.  Daniel observed him as he sipped some of the green liquid and nearly spat it back “What the hell is this?” he looked at his mother who sighed.

“
It’s your fathers cocktail, he’s started buying spirit’s from that cheap supermarket, he said you can buy a whole bottle of gin for £7.” 

Daniel grimaced into his glass and joined his father looking
over the loch, the low mountains glowed in the distance as the sun was setting over the estate. 

“There’s a stag
out there son” his dad spoke “And I’m going to find him tomorrow”

Daniel laug
hed “You’re going deerstalking? Good God father they will hear you coming a mile away”

His dad looked over at him and tapp
ed his nose with his finger “We will see about that” he said “I’ve got more chance of shooting that deer than you have finding a wife” he burst out laughing and it sounded throaty and rough. 

Daniel looked over at his mother but she had joine
d in with her husbands joke now. He walked over to the edge of the patio, poured the green liquid over the edge and left. 

T
he route back through the wood was slow and he thought about his parents, they were detached from reality.  He felt their dysfunctional attitude to him was the reason he couldn’t have a meaningful relationship and felt so alone, he checked his phone again. There was a text message but it was from Alex again wanting the latest information, he decided to try Nicole again but it went to answer machine. 

Daniel wondered where she was, may
be she was on holiday, he returned to his house and drank a glass of water. He switched on the television and flicked through the television channels, not really watching anything.
Where was Nicole?
  Did she really want to hear from him again? 

He wasn’t used to waiting like this and it was already driving him mad, he felt uncomfortable and needed to speak to her.  He would do wh
atever it took to win her back. The memories flooded back and he closed his eyes remembering how soft her skin was and how beautiful she had looked that afternoon. How she made him laugh and how happy he felt just being with her. How damaged she had looked in that hospital bed, the rage he felt against Andrew. He walked over to the fridge and poured himself a glass of wine, topping it up as the night got later.

Tiredness washed over him but he wanted to stay in the ki
tchen and wait for her to ring. His head was spinning as he finally got up and went to bed. It was past 2am, he finally acknowledged she wouldn’t call him tonight and disappointment surged through his body as he lay down on the bed. 

Milan
Airport was getting busier as Daniel ordered a cappuccino from the airport lounge and watched the planes as they took off. He made his way to the gate and looked at the destinations board. Manchester called out to him and he wondered if he should just try and find her house. Go and see her in person find out why she wasn’t answering her phone but the voice in his head told him to stop being so stupid and for once he listened.