Keep the Window Open for Me (6 page)

“I’m sorry I left,” I said softly. Danny smiled in relief at the
apology.

“It’s all right,” he said, squeezing my hands in reassurance. “I’m just glad you’re back,” he said. I turned away at the statement. I wasn’t back. Last night proved it. Soon, I’d be gone. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to find my courage. I had to conquer my fear that constantly ruled my life keeping me captive like a caged bird preventing me from truly living. If only I had told Danny sooner how much I loved him maybe we could have had more time together, but like a coward I had stayed silent for so many years. I had to tell him now what was going to happen to me. I couldn’t let my fear ever control me again. Danny deserved to
know.

“Danny—” I was about to tell him about my fate, when the door opened to reveal a young doctor holding a clipboard. This must have been the man that was now in charge of me. He must have been new to the hospital; I didn’t recognize him. The doctor smiled comfortingly and made his way over to my
bedside.

“Good Afternoon, Ms. Young. I’m Doctor Lawrence. I’m glad you’re awake. You had your poor friend over here worried sick about you,” he said cheerfully. I had to wonder why a doctor that knew I was dying would be so friendly and upbeat. Flipping open his clipboard, he went about checking the monitors hooked up to me before recording his
findings.

“How are you feeling today? Any chest pains or shortness of breath?” he
asked.

“Just a little pain in my chest area,” I answered. Nodding in acknowledgment, he wrote down my answer and looked back up at me with another reassuring smile. It felt strange seeing it. Being a nurse for years allowed me to be in the same room when doctors told a patient they were going to die. They were never smiling or chipper like this doctor was being. He didn’t act at all like I was a patient that was going to die
soon.

“Ms. Young, do you mind if I call you Erin?” he asked suddenly moving the clipboard under his arm. Shaking my head, he continued. “Erin, have you ever heard of broken heart
syndrome?”

“No,” I
said.

“Typically it occurs when an older woman is under a great deal of stress or suffers a major loss in her life. She has an abrupt heart attack with seemingly no cause and recovers within a few months. Think of it as a reverse heart attack. Although it may feel like it is constricting, a part of your heart actually temporarily enlarges so that it can’t pump correctly,” he explained. My eyebrows knitted together at the explanation. They had heart attacks with no cause. That sounded like what happened with my last heart
attack.

“I’m sorry, but what’s your point exactly doctor?” I asked confused by the importance of this random syndrome he was telling me about. This didn’t have anything to do with
me.

“My point is that I usually work with older patients particularly women with heart problems until your most unusual case was brought to my attention. Your doctors have told me that you suffer from a weakened heart that they believe is failing from a heart attack that had no cause five months ago. After looking over your x-rays that were taken after your last heart attack, I can confirm that you have broken heart syndrome,” he said with absolute certainty. Pressing my lips into a thin line, I shook my head not believing what he had just told me. I couldn’t have broken heart syndrome. I was dying from a weak heart…wasn’t
I?

“Then why haven’t I gotten better if I have this
syndrome?”
I
asked.

“That is the unusual part about your case. Normally you would have, but as long as the stress levels in your life remain the way they were that caused the initial incident, I’m afraid you’re condition will continue to degrade until ultimately your heart does fail you,” he said. “There is still hope though. Your heart can still recover if your stress goes down and you give yourself a chance to rest and relax while you recuperate and your heart
heals.”

My breathing picked up at the possibility that everything could be all right in the end. My hand covered my mouth as I felt my stomach flip around inside of me. Tears brimmed my eyes as the relief of the realization washed over
me.

“You mean, I could actually get better. I don’t have to die?” I asked my voice thick with the onslaught of tears that threatened to fall. Danny’s hand came to rub my back soothingly. I couldn’t believe it; I was going to be all right. With a soft reassuring smile, Doctor Lawrence
nodded.

“Yes, you’re going to be just fine as long as you keep your stress low for the next few weeks,” he replied. He looked up at the clock before turning his gaze back on Erin and Danny. “I’ll give you two a few minutes in private, but after that I want to move you to the ICU so we can monitor your recovery more closely.” With that he left, shutting the door behind
him.

“I can’t believe it,” I whispered more to myself than to Danny. “I’m going to be all
right.”

I felt like an unimaginable weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Tears freely ran down my cheeks. I felt so happy. I was going to live, and Danny was right here by my side. For the first time ever, I felt as if everything was going to work out. Nothing could get in the way. I had everything I needed to be happy and stay happy. And suddenly, my heart didn’t hurt
anymore.

“Yeah, you’re going to be just fine,” Danny whispered to me as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. I couldn’t stop the smile that broke out across my face at the remark. I really was going to be just fine like he
said.

I wrapped my arms around his
neck.

“Keep the window open for me until I get out of here?” I asked, reveling in the overwhelming happiness that I was immersed in. Danny chuckled and held me
close.

“Well, I’ll have to think that about—” he
joked.

Laughing, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Of course I will,” he whispered to
me.