Let Me In (12 page)

I nod my head in confirmation and she cries harder before running through the back door.

“Jessa!” I scream. When I get into the room, the front door is wide open and she’s gone. Shit, this isn’t what I expected to happen tonight. I’m such an ass…why didn’t I just tell her that I love her?

Jessa

I need to breathe so I start to run. It’s dark, cold, and wet out, but it helps me remember to let the air in and out of my lungs. The street is slippery, so I move to the snow and suddenly my socks and the bottom of my pants are soaked. I spot the lake and turn to run toward it. Slowing my pace, I stop at the edge, admiring the way the moon shines down across the lake. It’s so beautiful and instantly reminds me of Colorado. I sit down on the snowy ground and my ass gets wet, but I don’t care. At least it makes me think of something else besides Grant knowing what I did.

The cold wind chills me so I hold my legs up to my chest, shielding myself from it. Jason was nothing like Grant. Right from the start, I knew he wasn’t the one. It’s funny how he had such a similar appearance, but was so different inside. Jason came from the perfect family. His parents were still married and he had a sister and a dog, the whole package wrapped up in a nice big house with a wrought iron fence and security system in place. We had a lot in common, our families both had money, and we were both naïve to the outside world. Well, at least I was.

That night still haunts me. I remember lying under him and the flash blinding my vision in the dark room. His hands slowly unbuttoning my pants while light flickered down. The enjoyment on his face and how happy it was making him. I worried about the chance of them being shared, but I trusted him. He never gave me a reason not to. His soft touches turning into hard grasps. It wasn’t long before all I saw were fuzzy dots from the constant flashes. I never knew how many he took, but I guess he only picked the best ones.

The more I saw him getting turned on, the hotter it made me, and soon I was partaking as much as he was. Straddling him, I took the phone and snapped a few pictures myself. I had just cut and dyed my hair that night; I should’ve noticed myself changing already at that point. Jason didn’t like it and thought it was too drastic, telling me I lost my “soft beauty”. Part of me wonders if I agreed to take the pictures just to please him.

When we finished, he took me in his arms and as always, I felt safe. I thought we were on our way to our happily ever after. But life threw me a curve ball and hit me square in the back.

He exposed me and ruined not only my reputation, but my parents as well. Destroying all of us in one fell swoop of his phone. I tried to go back to school that semester, but the rumors being whispered behind my back and the constant offers I received from guys who wanted their own shot at taking pictures with me became too much.

Most of my friends deserted me, except for Beth. She loyally stayed by my side and how did I thank her? I left town and never contacted her again. We’d been roommates since our sophomore year and she was my best friend. She’s the one who dragged me off my knees that night and pushed me into a car, screaming at Jason. She’s the one who told me what Jason did with clear compassion in her voice.

Beth begged me to stay, telling me I should never run away from my problems. But that incident turned me into someone else. I know she kept up with my sister and parents for awhile, but after the hospital stay from depression and attempted suicide, it slowly faded. Sam told me she’s seen her around campus a few times and she’s happy I’m doing better. Since my parents and I didn’t tell Sam right away where I was going to school on the off chance she’d let it slip, it’s up to me now to contact Beth. Since Boulder isn’t that far, maybe I should try when I go to see my parents next week.

As I contemplate this in my head, I hear his footsteps approaching and I sigh, thinking of the horrible conversation I’m going to have with a man I’ve grown to love.

Grant

There she is…finally. I’ve been through all these hills, but never checked the lake. She glances up as I approach, my footsteps crunching as I make my way across the snow. I hand her her jacket and she puts it on. Hesitantly, I take a seat next to her. I know from her shutters of breath that she’s still calming down. I prop my legs up, resting my arms on top of them and stare out at the lake. The sky is a little cloudy, so the stars aren’t as bright as they are in summertime, but it’s still a beautiful scene. It’s even more of an overwhelming sight with Jessa here.

“How did you find out?” she quietly asks me, continuing to stare forward.

“Someone found the pictures, but don’t worry, they’ll never get out,” I assure her.

“I’ve heard that before. They always get out,” she says and shudders a little more.

“Not this time. Believe me.” I peek at her through the corner of my eyes and she’s biting her lip while playing with her fingers.

“So…you probably think I’m a big skank?” she asks.

“Never. Why would I think that just because some jerkoff took advantage of you?” I grab her hand, relieved when she lets me.

“Those things I did…”

“Are the same things you’ve done with me,” I finish her sentence, not wanting her to feel ashamed or feel guilty.

“Yeah, but I let him take the pictures.”

I squeeze her hand. “Come back with me. It’s too fucking cold out here,” I say. When I stand up, she follows my lead and I wrap my arms around her. Silence envelops us as we walk back to the cabin, each one of us lost in our own thoughts. I want her back at the cabin because I’m still planning to do what I intended in the first place.

I open the door for us when we get back to the cabin and she moves to sit on the couch, but I firmly pull her toward the bedroom. We enter the quaint room with a king-sized bed in the middle and a nightstand on either side. I make my way into the bathroom and start to fill the tub with warm water.

I look back at her standing in the doorway. “Go ahead, take off your clothes,” I instruct her.

Fumbling through the cabinets, I find some bubble bath that someone must have left behind and pour it in. Glancing at her, I’m happy to see that she listened to me and is disrobing.

After the hot water fills the tub, I shrug off my own wet, cold clothes and put them in a pile on the floor. She’s staring down at the ground, stepping out of her jeans, and I wait patiently before offering her my hand.

She takes it gently, hesitantly allowing me to guide her to the tub. I step in, never letting go of her hand and wait for her to join me. “Sit down,” I request, and then scoot in behind her, encasing her body with my arms as the water rises above us. Her skin feels as soft and silky as always. I hope this wasn’t a bad idea, having her talk to me in the bathtub with both of us naked. But it was so cold and I noticed she was already shivering on the walk home.

“Will you tell me?” I ask.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I want to hear about it. But Jessa?” She turns her head to look up at me. “After this, it’s over. We won’t talk about it unless you want to. I don’t care one way or the other, but for both our sakes, I think you should tell me what happened. And don’t hold back, because it won’t change anything for me,” I admit to her, hoping it relaxes her as much as possible.

She smirks up to me, obviously surprised by my reaction, and then lays her head back on my chest. “Jason is his name,” she starts talking and I involuntarily tense just from hearing his name. The thought of some other guy’s hands on her kills me.

“So, we’d been going out for some time when he asked me to take the pictures. I agreed, thinking they would be between the two of us. And they were, until a month or so later. We were at a party and I ran into an old boyfriend. It was nothing. I was just catching up with him. I think his girlfriend was actually at the party as well. But Jason was always jealous, never wanting me to show any attention to anyone but him. We’d been fighting a lot recently about his jealousy. When I hugged the old boyfriend goodbye, Jason lost it from across the room. It started with bottles and cans being thrown against the wall, but quickly escalated to furniture being turned over. His friends tried to stop him, but his rage was so intense it scared me. I begged him to stop, and even told him I loved him.” She stops talking and anger hits my veins. I hate the fact that she told someone else she loved them. A selfish part of me hoped she’d never said those words to anyone else.

“Anyway, he didn’t care. His friends eventually got him to leave the party and I hitched a ride with a friend. The next morning when I woke up, my phone was maxed to capacity with texts and voice messages. Within hours, the whole town knew what had happened. Social media can be as fast as lightning when the gossip’s juicy,” she finishes.

“Anything else?” I ask. I can’t help the feeling in my gut that she’s still holding something back.

“I hid out for a semester and then transferred to Western in the fall.” The hesitation in her voice tells me there’s more to it, but I don’t want to push her too hard for fear she’ll retreat from me.

“I’m sorry, Jessa,” I say and she squeezes my hand tightly. I hug her and kiss the top of her head. “That guy’s a jackass.” I can’t even say his name. “He took advantage of you. You did nothing wrong.”

“Doesn’t it bother you? Weren’t you mad when you saw the pictures?”

“Yes,” I honestly answer. “What bothered me most was thinking about you doing those things with someone else, not that you allowed him to take pictures. Don’t get me wrong, it pisses me off that so many dipshits saw you without clothes on, but it changes nothing for me,” I wholeheartedly admit.

She turns around and looks at me with a serious expression on her face. “What I have to say next might,” she says, staring right into my eyes. “After it happened, I tried…I tried to kill myself,” she reveals and instantly sits up, taking her touch with her.

I nod my head, trying to think of the right thing to say. She’s kind of throwing me for a loop here and hitting a little too close to home, although the circumstances were very different. I look at her and the apprehension that fills her face is too much for me to take. The thought that she could have never entered my life becomes unimaginable to me. I want her to know how I feel, even if it’ll be the end of me.

“I’m glad you didn’t succeed,” I say, squeezing her tight against my body.

“Why?” she murmurs into my chest. I pull her back, holding her arms in my hands.

“Because I would’ve never fallen in love,” I finally divulge, and her body crashes into me. “You did get what I just said, right?” I shyly ask, not missing the fact that she said nothing back.

Picking up her head, she giggles and says, “I love you too, Grant.” And just like that, our feelings are laid out on the table or in our case the bathtub. I can’t fight it any longer; I just pray like hell it doesn’t end like it always has for me.

“God, I love you.” I kiss her on the lips, bringing her on top of me.

“Show me,” she requests.

“I fully intend to. Jessa, tonight I’m in charge. You’re mine now, and I want to cherish you like the goddess you are to me. Are you okay with that?”

She nods her head, smirking up at me. I stand up and step out of the tub, grabbing a towel from the shelf. I hold it out for Jessa and she steps into it as I wrap it around her body before grabbing one for myself. After I walk us out of the bathroom, I lay her down on the bed, following closely behind. I slowly move my lips over hers, gently kissing her before nibbling on her bottom lip. I trace my hands up and down her ribcage, making her shiver slightly. She places her hands on the back of my head, working her fingers through my hair. Letting my lips travel to her chin, along her jawline, and up to her ear, I whisper, “You’re beautiful,” and she arches her back into me in response. Taking a short break from sucking and nibbling on her neck, I let my tongue lick its way down to her breasts. Wrapping my mouth around her peaked nipple, I suck it into my mouth before I find her other nipple and mimic what I did to the first.

The moans and whimpers escaping her mouth are making it a struggle to keep up the slow pace, but she deserves for someone to worship her body. I give her butterfly kisses down her stomach, letting my fingers lead the way. Her whole body shakes when my tongue flicks over her clit. Sitting up, I admire her body and notice that the nervous look on her face is one she’s never possessed before. It strikes me that she’s self-conscious about being this intimate.

“Turn over,” I instruct her and she grins before rolling over onto her stomach.

My fingertips lightly move across her back and her sides and I kiss the tattoo on the back of her neck, now understanding the meaning of the inscription. I move my fingers to the side of her breast, teasing her, while my lips and tongue trace over her shoulder blades before moving down along her spine. She whimpers when I end at her ass. Bringing both my hands slowly down her body, I place my fingers around her hips, propping her up to her knees. I gently move my finger along her slit before I insert my middle finger, feeling how ready she already is. I pull my finger out, massaging the wetness around her clit and folds.

“More, Grant, please,” she begs, and I insert my pointer finger along with the middle finger. She moans loudly and unable to take it slow any longer, I turn her over. Her hands grab my ass, ready to pull my cock into her, but I hold off. Just as the tip of my dick touches her opening, I admire her below me and then I gently thrust into her.

Moving my hips in small circles, I lay on top of her, kissing her thoroughly. We don’t say anything dirty to each other or use rough hands. It’s the most intimate I’ve ever been with someone. I pray this doesn’t end badly, because I could stay like this for the rest of my life and be content. Soon she starts bucking a little faster against me, and I respond by thrusting harder into her. Before I realize it, she’s breathlessly repeating my name and I’m murmuring how much I love her against her neck. We both find our release a few seconds apart and I fall next to her, bringing her to my chest and beginning to rub small circles on her back.

“Thanks, Grant,” she says, and I place my finger under her chin so she’s looking at me.

“For what?” I ask.

“For doing that…going slow. It made me feel desirable and wanted,” she says, her eyes filled with hope and love. A wide grin spreads across my face and I’m happy that I made her feel the way she deserves to feel.

“Baby, you’re sexy as hell and desirable…I would’ve thought you’d have figured that out over the past month since I haven’t been able to keep my hands off you,” I say, trying to convince her.

“I’ve never been like that with someone before.” She nuzzles even closer to my neck, kissing it lightly.

“Get used to it. I’m not going anywhere.” The selfish bastard in me is ecstatic that I was able to be her first at something.

Jessa

“I’m starving…you want one of Mrs. Fletcher’s muffins?” Grant asks.

I throw on his t-shirt and he grabs his pants and we make our way out to the kitchen. Our bags are still in the truck, but I’m not about to ask him to go out there to get them now. He tosses a note from the basket on the table and grabs two muffins. I’m standing in front of the fridge perusing its contents when he comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my body and kissing my neck. I reach my hand to the back of his neck to keep him there, taking pleasure in the feel of his lips.

Picking up his head, he rests his chin on my shoulder, and I’m suddenly struck by the thought of living happily ever after here with him. “I still can’t believe you own this house,” I say to him.

“I rent it out most of the year,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

I grab some eggs out of the fridge, along with the milk. Looking through the cupboards, Grant opens one up and hands me the frying the pan.

“Sit. It’s time I cater to you a little,” I tell him and he hops up on the counter. His chest is chiseled and his muscles, bulging, but when his arms are around me, I’ve never felt safer.

“Whatcha making?” he asks in a childish voice. He reaches out to grab at me, but I laugh and sidestep his attempts.

“If you can keep those hands to yourself for a few minutes, I’ll make you an omelet.”

“You usually like it when I have my hands on you,” he says with a smirk, getting a hold of his shirt that I’m wearing and yanking me back. When I fall between his legs, his lips smash into mine, sending a surge of heat from my head to my toes.

“Okay, no more until I finish,” I joke, waving my finger at him. I put the frying pan down and turn on the burner. The butter sizzles in the pan as I crack the eggs in the bowl. I poke the yolks and start beating them, adding in some milk.

“Man…I like this view,” he says, leaning back on his hands.

“What view?” I ask, walking to the fridge and opening it. I look around inside and, seeing that there aren’t any vegetables in the drawers, I grab some cheese which will have to do.

“You…cooking in my kitchen while wearing my shirt,” he says, smiling over to me.

“I have to admit, I like cooking for you. I’m not usually happy being so…domesticated,” I tease, pouring the eggs into the pan. I start to search the drawers for a spatula but can’t seem to find one.