Little Light of Mine (Club Decadence) (14 page)

“Hush now… I have you.”  He stroked her back, soothing, calming her.  “We don’t have to talk about this right now.  Let me get you home first.”

She panicked.  “No, mama and papa mustn’t find out.”

“No, baby, my home.  I’m taking you home with me.”  Dex lifted her against his chest and easily rose to his feet.  He started out the door just as Lil T and Sean were coming up the back stairs.  They shook their head at him indicating that Luis had gotten away.  “Call Cap and Rick and have the rest of the team meet at my place at six o’clock.   I’m taking her home.” 

Chapter Thirteen

Once she started, it all came pouring out.  Elena told him the whole story about the rape and her terrifying ride to the hospital which landed her in the ICU.  She told him about the pictures Bobby had of them in BDSM play, the blackmail, and of the ride to the drug drop and their manhandling her in the back seat.  She filled him in on her suicide attempt and running away to California.  The events of the first year she shamefully admitted were a blur because of the drugs.  He already knew about her stay in rehab so she told him about her struggle to stay straight, find work and make ends meet until mama called her back home.  Once the catharsis was complete, she rested against him in his big king sized bed in a state of complete emotional exhaustion.

Dex was in a state of shock, his mind racing   He couldn’t begin to grasp the horrors his little light had suffered over the past two years.  Volatile emotions churned inside him
, grief and pain, sorrow and regret.  And anger...  No, that didn’t describe the rage that consumed him.  He seethed with fury at her rapist and abusers.  He was angry with himself for giving up and letting her handle this on her own.  He knew something was wrong, but he had relented.  He was also angry at Elena for keeping this from him and causing them both more pain and grief than was necessary.   Dear God, he thought, she had actually tried to kill herself.  And failing that had turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain. 

It was going to take some time to work through all this.  Although finally knowing what she had been hiding was a relief, he didn’t know how to begin repairing their relationship.   It was going to take some professional help.  There was a lot he didn’t know but one thing was certain, he would have his Elena back in his arms, in his bed, in his life now regardless of her deep, devastating secret. 

Dex had her soaking in a warm bath when the doorbell rang.  He reluctantly left her relaxing in the tub as he went to answer the door.  He opened it to admit Lexie Berry, a nurse practitioner friend of Elena’s.  She had insisted he call, her refusing a psychiatrist or a trip to the emergency room.  They quickly introduced themselves before he led her upstairs.

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s traumatized after facing the man who raped her at knife point.”

“Good grief!  You didn’t tell me that on the phone.”

“I’m sorry, Lexie, but it was a little involved to get into on the phone.  I have her in the tub trying to get her to relax, but she can’t shut off.  I’m worried.  With her drug history I’m afraid to give her anything, but she can’t go on like this.  She won’t be able to sleep.  I’m worried she’s headed for a complete breakdown again if we don’t do something soon.”

“I understand.  Can I see her now?”

Dex nodded and led her to the master suite.  “Wait here a moment.” 

A few minutes later Elena emerged wrapped in one of his button up shirts.  It swallowed her with the tail hitting just above the knee and the sleeves rolled in a thick wad of material around her elbow
s.  Her hair was damp from her bath and she was pale, bleary eyed and looked exhausted.  She held tightly to Dex as she gave Lexie a weak smile.  “Lex, I’m so glad you could come.  Dex shouldn’t have bothered you though, I’m fine.”

“Nonsense, I’m always happy to help out a friend.”  She crossed the room and gave Elena a warm embrace.  “You look like you’ve been through the wringer, honey. Why don’t you lie down and let me check on you.”

Lexie examined her and took her blood pressure.  She frowned because it was low but not alarmingly so.  “I really would like to get some lab work. You’re pale, your blood pressure is low and…” she leaned over and pulled down her lower eyelid and had her stick her tongue out one more time.  “Your mucous membranes are pale and dry so you’re probably dehydrated and anemic.”  She looked at Dex then. “Do you have any sports drinks with electrolytes?”

At his nod she sent him off to get their patient a drink and some food.  This gave her time to speak to Elena alone.  “How are you really honey?  Are you OK being here?  If not say the word and I’ll get you out.”

Elena smiled tiredly at her friend.  “You look tough Lex, but Dex was a Green Beret.  I doubt you could get me out of here if you tried.  But don’t worry; I’m happy to stay with him.  I still love him Lex.  He knows what happened now and I’m tired of fighting it.”

“Glad to hear it
,
Chiquit
a
.  I still love you, too.  And I appreciate your concern Lexie, but she’s safe with me.”  Dex winked at Elena as he handed her an open Vitamin Water.  “You’ll be happy to hear that Megan just arrived with Cap.  She is making you something to eat and sparing you my cooking.”

He sat down on the bed next to her and leaned against the headboard. 
Slipping an arm around her shoulders, he curled her into his side.  “So what do you think, Doc?”

“I’m not a doctor but a nurse practitioner and I think she’s going to be OK.  I do recommend scheduling an appointment with a mental health professional as soon as possible, someone who deals
with trauma, rape and PTSD specifically.  Elena, I’m going to give you a prescription for something to help you sleep.  It’s not likely to be habit forming.  Until you get it filled or get something else from your psychiatrist, you can take fifty milligrams of Benadryl, if needed.”  Lexie sat back and looked at her friend closely.  “You look exhausted sweetheart, and you’re much too thin.  I want you to start eating regularly, drink lots of water and rest.”

“I’ll see that she does.  She’s under my roof now and will find my rules for her health are a little different
than her own.”  Elena’s dominant Dex had emerged and was in his caretaking mode.  She had missed that so much.  He always made sure she looked after herself, something that had fallen by the wayside since she left.  She smiled and snuggled into his side.

Because her friend didn’t mind his arrogant response,
Lexis let that comment go without question.  “If you need anything else, please call me.  After all this… uh, drama is over let’s get together for dinner like we planned.  I miss my best friend.”  Lexie hugged Elena, handed Dex her card and the script and then let herself out.

“I’ve missed her
, too.  We were best friends in high school and we told each other everything.  She was the only one I confided in after it happened.”  She got quiet after she said that.  It was hard to even refer to “it” abstractly after keeping it a secret for so long. 

Dex stroked her short curls and kissed the top of her head.  He reflected on how different things could have been if she had just come to him instead.  But he didn’t want to get into all that just now.  She needed rest and a lot of TLC.  “I’m glad she was there for you.  She seems very competent
, but I’ll get you scheduled to see your family doctor as soon as possible and make both of us an appointment with a therapist.”

Elena craned her neck back to look at him. “Both of us?”

“Damn straight.”  He slid down so he was lying next to her and could look into her eyes as they spoke.  “I’m trying to deal with all of this too, little light.  I have it locked down right now, but I am full of rage and guilt.  But we’ll get through this together.”  He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. 

“What do you have to feel guilty about?  I should have turned to you after-,” her voice broke and she couldn’t finish her thought as the horrible memories returned.

“Why didn’t you baby?”

“I was afraid you’d kill him, Dex.”

“I want to.  I want to hunt the bastard down and strangle him with my bare hands for what he did to you.”

“No Dex.  Don’t you see?  That’s why I didn’t tell you.”  She sat up and rolled to her knees.  “Promise me you won’t go after him.”

“I can’t make that promise, baby.”

“Then this was all for nothing.  If you go to jail I will have failed and the past two years will have been wasted.”  She started sobbing again.  Her small fists twisted in his shirt as she frantically tried to get him to see things from her perspective.  “Dex, please don’t let him ruin your life, too.”

“Christ!”  He gripped her tighter, her words and tears breaking his heart.  “All right, little one, I promise not to kill him.  But if I get my hands on him I can’t promise not to beat the shit out of him for what he has put you through.” 

Relieved, she relaxed into his arms
, her hands smoothing the wrinkled wet mess she had made of his shirt.

“Do you have flashbacks often?”  At her nod he growled, “I’m so sorry, baby.  I wish I’d been here to protect you.  I keep thinking how it could have been different if we got married before I went back.  You’d have been out of the house and safe from him here.”

“We can’t change the past, Dex.  Believe me, I’ve thought about how things could have been different so many times.”  Her hand stroked his worried face as she gazed tearfully at him.  “Don’t dwell on what could have been.  It will drive you insane.”

They lay together quietly, holding each other, for a long time until the doorbell rang again.  “The guys are arriving for our meeting.  Do you feel up to it?”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Try and stop me.”

True to his word, Dex didn’t let her out of his sight.  In fact, he held her on his lap throughout the entire meeting.  Megan sat next to her and kept pouring her more water and urging her to eat.  She was seven months pregnant and her maternal instincts were already in high gear.  She held Elena’s hand; squeezing and petting her when she thought the conversation turned upsetting.

Lil T arrived and took the empty chair beside Dex and Elena.  “How’re you doing honey?”

“I’ll be all right, T.  Thanks for saving me.”  She remembered him breaking down the door to get to her.  “Has anyone told Megan about her office?  You did a number on her door, putting your big size fifteen’s through it, just like in the movies.”

“Size seventeen,” he corrected with a smile. “But in the movies the hero saves the girl, right?”  T’s eyes were filled with pain as they rose to meet the man’s behind her.

Elena knew without having to be told that the news had spread beyond today’s assault.  It was horrifying that everyone knew her shame.  Even with all the therapy she had while in rehab she still felt dirty.  She knew it was her own warped self-image, but she worried that others would think less of her.  A silent tear rolled down her cheek.

Lil T captured her hand and kissed the back of it affectionately.  “None of that now, honey.  We are gonna find the bastard and make him pay.”  She nodded, but remained silent. 
She was afraid her voice would give out if she tried to speak.  “Dex told me you used some of our moves on the bastard.  I can’t wait to see the video.  I guess all our hard work paid off, eh Bruiser?

“Thank God for small favors, I always say, but I thought you and Rick took out that camera in my office.”  Megan asked
suspiciously as she once again squeezed Elena’s hand. 

“We did, sweetheart, but Cap had us put it right back in.”

Cap came up then and pulled his pregnant wife out of her chair, sat in her place and pulled her down onto his lap. 

“Have you been spying on me, Captain?”

“How do you think I knew you were working all those times when you were supposed to be resting?  ESP?”  Cap squeezed her gently, his big hand sliding possessively to rest atop her distended belly.

“Hm?  What does that stand for?  Extremely sneaky pain-in-the-”

His hand came up and clamped over her mouth, cutting off her curse. “Nope.  Extraordinarily severe punishment, which is certainly in your future.  I’ll just add this to your post delivery tally, Angel.”  He kissed her blonde curls as he winked at a fascinated Elena.  “And if you don’t start behaving, I’m going to need another notebook to keep up with all your black marks for sass and naughtiness.”

Megan huffed in mock indignation as she leaned back against her man, her hand joining his on her belly, their fingers entwining.  The men at the table chuckled at the adorable, but extremely pregnant woman.  They knew she had long since wrapped their fearsome Captain around her little finger.    

Elena was riveted, charmed by their easy, teasing banter.  They obviously loved each other and had a marriage like she and Dex could have had.  Luis had robbed her of so much.  Her eyes misted with regret and she discretely brushed away her tears with her fingertips.  Dex, astute as ever noticed.

“It’s gonna be OK Elena.  I promise.” Dex murmured his reassurance into her ear as he pressed his lips tenderly against her skin.  “We all want to support and protect you.  No one here thinks less of you for having suffered all that you have.  Remember you were the victim.  And every man in this room is itching to get a hold of that son of a bitch.  But they’re gonna have to wait in line because he is going to learn first from me what happens when someone touches what is mine.”

She looked around the table at the assembled team who were nodding in agreement at his words.  These big strong dominant men were pissed.  Abuse of any defenseless woman by a bigger, stronger man ticked them off, but especially when it was one of their own.  The irony was not lost on them however that the tools of their trade not only included guns and grenades but paddles, crops and floggers as well.  That was one of the reasons they had opened The Club, to provide a safe environment for their members and to prevent the abuse that can happen in unstructured BDSM play.  They also wanted to keep out the gawkers, weirdoes and out and out assholes that used BDSM as an excuse to abuse.  They were committed to a lifestyle with strict rules of conduct and safe, sane and consensual play, consensual being the key.