Little White Lies (16 page)

“I know it’s not the time,” Colleen told her as she loaded the kids’ clothes in her car, “but I expect the full story sometime in the near future. It boggles my mind that you could even
keep
a secret this long. I swear you were the biggest tattletale I ever saw when we were growing up. If you weren’t running to Ma and Da, you were running to Rory,” she continued as she climbed into her vehicle. “And how Ma didn’t sniff it out—she’s like a bloodhound on a scent when it comes to things we don’t want her to find out—”

“Oh, Colleen, give it a rest will you,” Bridget told her rolling her eyes as she pulled Maggie into a big hug. “Don’t mind her, Maggie. We all know she’s got middle child syndrome.”

“Yeah, and you’ve got spoiled brat syndrome. Now come on, we’ve got to get back,” Colleen retorted starting the car and digging a cigarette out of her purse.

Maggie and Bridget looked at her like she’d lost her mind as she lit it and inhaled deeply with a sigh.

“I thought you quit smoking, Colleen? Noah’s going to flip if he catches you,” Maggie told her as Bridget slid into the passenger seat.

“He’s not going to find out, as long as you two keep your mouths shut,” she informed them as she turned to back out of the driveway. “Call me tomorrow, Maggie,” she yelled out the window.

“God, what wouldn’t I give to be a fly on the wall here tonight,” Colleen sighed as they drove away.

“You and me both,” Bridget agreed.

Chapter Twelve

It didn’t take Nick long to catch up with Jason and he suspected that was intentional on Jason’s part. Jason could have easily outdistanced him on foot, but chose to walk at a normal pace. Nick joined him about a block away, and they walked in silence for several more. Nick knew the boy would have questions, and he said a silent prayer that he would have the right answers. More than anything in the world, Nick wanted to be the kind of father Jason would want in his life and be proud to acknowledge. He was certainly proud of his son, and even though he couldn’t claim credit for raising him, genetics had to count for something. Jason was strong and smart, with a maturity far beyond his years. Nick hoped it wasn’t too late to give his son time for fun. He’d been impressed when he’d seen how well Jason handled the adult responsibility of caring for Todd and Caitie every day. At fourteen, Jason should have some time for himself. Nick knew from personal experience how taking care of a younger brother could steal your childhood, and he didn’t want that for Jason. Granted, at this point Jason was more man than child, but he still had three years before he graduated and Nick was sure there were activities Jason would love to participate in given the opportunity. They continued on in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, until finally Jason began to speak.

“When did you know?” he asked Nick, turning his head to look directly at him.

“The minute I saw you, I suspected,” Nick answered truthfully. “I really had no idea you existed until then, but after I did the math, I was convinced. You?”

“Same,” Jason answered quietly. “I always felt like maybe I was one of those kids, you know, switched at birth. No one in my family looked like me. My Dad didn’t seem to be interested in the things I loved to do. It’s not that he wasn’t good to me. I know he loved me in his own way, but we just didn’t seem to click. He and Todd were much more alike, you know, laughed at the same things, liked the same sports. I mean, who really wants to watch golf or tennis matches?” Jason asked giving a mock shiver. “But Todd did. I even asked Grandma about it once, and she told me I was a throwback
.
I did have the same dark hair and blue eyes as Uncle Rory, so I just let it go. Then you showed up, and I just knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nick asked gently. “I would have told you the truth.”

“I was waiting,” Jason replied. “I had no idea what kind of guy you were. I mean, I knew you were Mason’s brother, and he’s wicked cool, but you could have been a dick. I figured I’d just see what happened. If you didn’t know about me, okay. But when I was pretty sure you did, it all mattered then. You could have just turned around and gone back to Colorado, and that would have been then end of it. I would have known then that you weren’t interested in having a teenage kid.”

“I didn’t go back, Jason. Once I knew about you, my whole life changed. Even if I
never
could tell you the truth, walking away was not an option. If I couldn’t be your father, then at least I could be your friend.”

Jason absorbed everything Nick said as they continued on in silence. Reaching the park, they veered across the street and headed for a small footbridge as if by mutual agreement. Stopping there they rested, looking down at the gently flowing water. Each was lost in his own thoughts, but eventually they realized they were studying their reflections. Emotions were high, and it seemed easier not to have their eyes meet.

Finally, Nick sighed and began to speak.

“I’ll do anything you want, Jason, well, almost anything because the one thing I can’t do is disappear. If you want a friend, I’m your guy. If you want a dad, well… I can’t even tell you what it would mean to me if you could feel that way about me.” Struggling with his emotions, Nick paused and pulled himself together, thankful for the failing light that prevented Jason from seeing his tears.

“I think I’d like that,” Jason finally replied. ‘Your being my dad I mean. I can’t call you Dad, at least not right now. Todd and Caitie would get confused, and it would just bring up a bunch of questions. But maybe someday I can, and
we’ll
know,” he finished softly. “Right, Dad?”

“Yes, Son, we’ll know,” Nick replied, his heart so full he could barely speak.

Nick threw his arm around Jason’s shoulders and they started back. Streetlights were flickering the way they do before full dark, and they walked in silence for a while before Jason cleared his throat.

“I’m pissed at Mom,” he stated.

“I was too,” Nick conceded calmly. “At first, but then I tried to look at it rationally. She was so young, we both were, and we both let our pride get in the way. I mistakenly thought she was fooling around with Jim behind my back and stopped taking her calls. I returned all the letters she wrote to me unopened. In plain speaking, I was a jackass. I broke her heart, and she married Jim in a panic. I see that now. I should have walked right up to them and demanded to know what was going on. I should have decked Jim and dragged your mother off for a serious talking too. Instead, I behaved like an immature boy, and maybe I was back then. A million regrets won’t change the outcome. I know your mother could have done things differently too. If she had been a little less stubborn and prideful, she could have found some way to let me know. She could have gone to Mason; he would have found a way. Or, she could have gone to your Grandfather. I’m sure he would have straightened things out pretty quickly,” Nick stated wryly.

“Yeah, after he kicked your butt,” Jason laughed. “And probably Mom’s too. I sure know what you mean about stubborn though. Once she makes her mind up, it takes a force of nature to get her to change it.”

Another few blocks passed as Nick mentally debated how much to confide in Jason. Finally he decided he might as well tell the truth. There was no point in trying to hide anything now.

“I hope you’ll forgive her, Son,” he told Jason. “I still love her, and I plan on marrying her.”

Jason snorted.

“Good luck with
that
. I know she cares for you, even though she tries to hide it, but marrying? She’s told me a hundred times she’ll never get married again. I don’t think you’ve got a chance in hell—heck—of changing her mind.”

“I hope your wrong, Jason. The very last thing I want is to lose her twice in one lifetime. However, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’ll still be here for you, always.”

They arrived back at the house just as Maeve turned on the porch light. With a wave, Nick let her know everything was all right, and after a moment she pulled her sweater close around her and went back inside.

“So…?” Nick asked as the stood before the porch steps. “What can I tell your mother? I’m heading over there now, and I’m sure she’s frantic worrying about you.”

“Tell her we talked and I’m okay. I’m going to hang out here for a couple of days. Grandma will take us to school, and I’ll call Mom tomorrow when she gets home,” Jason told him.

Nick wasn’t disappointed in Jason’s response. Even after knowing his son for a short time, he had expected no less than fairness and understanding from the young man. Nick reached out for Jason and pulled him close for a hug.

“Thanks, Son, I’ll let her know. Talk to you soon.”

Nick was almost to the van when Jason called out to him.

“Nick, if there’s anything I can do to help you with your… plans, let me know. I think I’d kind of like having you around on a permanent basis.”

“Don’t worry about that, Jason. I’m not going anywhere, and believe it or not, I can be a
force of nature
if I have too. Night.”

* * *

Nick found Maggie huddled on the couch, an empty bottle of wine in her arm. The room was dark but for the glow from the fireplace, and the door had been unlocked. When he saw the tear tracks on her cheeks, he decided to save that lecture for another time.

“Maggie? Honey, are you all right?” he asked gently, trying not to startle her.

A hiccup was her only reply. Nick approached the couch and managed to slip the tilted, half-full wine glass from her fingers before she dropped it. At least she hadn’t descended into drinking from the bottle, he thought with a smile. She had on the most disreputable nightgown he’d ever seen, and he absently noticed her socks didn’t match. Must have been drinking for quite a while before she’d gotten undressed, he observed. “Maggie, sweetheart, talk to me,” he encouraged as he slid down beside her.

“I can’t talk.” Hiccup. “I don’t deserve to ever talk again. My tongue should just fall right out of my mouth.” Hiccup.

“Don’t be silly, darlin’,” Nick told her as he lifted her onto his lap. “You have a beautiful tongue and I would really miss it. Now, why don’t you tell me what this is about? Jason and I had a talk and he—”

“Jason, oh God,” she sobbed. “He’ll never forgive me.” Hiccup.

“Of course he forgives you. He loves you,” Nick reasoned.

“How? How can he love me? How can anybody love me?” she demanded. “Where’s my wine glass?” Hiccup.

“Why do you think you’re so unlovable?” Nick asked, trying not to laugh. God she was cute, even if she was totally shit-faced.

“Because…” she drawled out as if she were talking to someone not quite right in the head.

“
I… am… a… liar…”
she informed him, putting both her hands on his cheeks and forcing him to look into her bloodshot eyes. “Where’s my wine glass?” Hiccup.

“Honey, I know you’ve had a few…”

“
A few
? I have lied to probably everyone in the entire world,” she informed him, totally missing his point. “The world, Nick, the whole damn world.”

Maggie dramatically threw her hands up to encompass as much of the universe as her noodle arms would allow before they flopped back down into her lap. Hiccup.

“Have you lied to me, Maggie? I know you lied about Jack Harley and we took care of that, well I thought so until today. But that can wait. What other lies have you told me, sweetie?”

“Oh, Nick,” she sighed, sinking against his broad chest. “I
have
lied to you. I have seriously lied to you. Where’s my wine glass?” Hiccup.

“Why don’t you tell me about these lies and let me decide how serious they are?” he suggested helpfully.

“Oh, they’re serious,” she told him popping back up and looking into his eyes. “In fact, I’m probably going straight to hell,” she sniffed while wiping her nose on her sleeve. Hiccup.

“Where the hell is my wine glass?” she demanded, slapping her thigh in agitation.

“Tell you what. I’ll give you your glass back, and then you tell me what you’ve lied about. How’s that?” he asked, reasonably.

“Deal. I’ll take door number three. You give me back my wine glass and I’ll tell you all about my lies… how’s about that?” Hiccup.

Nick handed her the glass after taking several large gulps, leaving her very little wine in the bottom.

“Hey,” she griped, snatching it out of his hand and peering intently into the glass looking for more. “No fair.”

Nick couldn’t resist sliding his fingers into her hair and pulling her close for a kiss. Maggie’s tongue slipped along his wine covered lips.

“Yum,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him as he quickly saved the glass again.

“Okay, sweetie,” he informed her, detaching her arms from his neck. “Here’s your wine, now tell me about those lies.”

“Well,” she told him, swallowing the last of her wine. “It’s kind of embarrassing. Do we have more wine in the kitchen?” she asked innocently.

“Maggie, tell me about the lies,” he scolded, trying to keep her focused.

Hiccup.

“See this right here’s a per… hiccup…fect example. I told you if you found my glass I would tell you, and really I’m not going to tell you anything, so it was a lie. Get it?” Hiccup.

Nick laughed.

“I get it, and now you’re going to get it,” he told her taking the empty glass that was dangling from her fingers and setting it down on the coffee table. In the blink of an eye he had her over his lap and her nightie pulled above her waist. Crisp smacks were stinging her behind before she could even get out a scream.

“Stop,” she pleaded. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you lying?” Nick asked with an evil grin as he continued to pepper her backside with firm slaps.

“Um, maybe,” she answered truthfully as she hiccupped and squealed.

“Ah,” he said, “the truth finally. Well, let me know when you’re really sorry and I’ll think about stopping,” he informed her cheerfully.