Love Came Back (a Pyro-Princess Design and Style novel Book 1) (2 page)

1

Meeting the Stranger

..::Siddaleigh::..

3 weeks later

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Date: September 21

Subject: my heart awaits

My pretty princess! How are you, love? How’s college? It sure is hot and dry here in Syria. Thinking of you always makes it hotter, though. Look, Sidda. I’m going to be down the Syria border with the boys. Just regular recon, no big. But I won’t be able to respond until I return. Should be about 2 weeks. It’s been quiet. A little too quiet for our CO. All I know is, the picture I have of us from that silly photo at the Kemah Boardwalk is always with me near my heart. And October can’t come quick enough. Just wait, banphrionsa. A surprise is in store for you! Here is a little of my home language for you. Is tú mo ghrá.

Your soldier, Kon

After reading Konner’s latest e-mail, I felt saddened by the news. I knew from the way he spoke, that he loved the Navy and being a SEAL was not just what he did, but who he was. A true hero through and through. He didn’t want to retire anytime soon. He spoke of his team often and how they were more like brothers, especially his longtime friend from childhood, Nathan. I knew I would never ask him to stop doing what he loved. I just prayed constantly for him instead.

Sometimes he was able to call me from a satellite phone for short periods of time; the longest being twenty minutes. Yeah, I counted. Sue me.

In those short periods of time he told me more about his team, and what he wanted to do with the SEALs. It was a career for him.

Just hearing his voice made my skin tingle. For now, it was enough.

After two weeks went by, I responded. I wrote to him about school, how I was majoring in Fashion Design. I told him my dream of owning my own boutique; with my own line of clothing. And about the girl I met at orientation, Magdalene, who insisted on being called Mags. How we became fast friends and after a few short weeks at Texas Woman’s University, we decided to be roommates at an apartment complex near the campus instead of living at the dorms. I always ended my e-mails with ‘Always Yours, S’. I knew I would wait for him, because deep down in my young heart I knew he was worth waiting and fighting for.

Over the next few days when there was no response, I felt a sense of emptiness inside. Every week since, I e-mailed him and still not one response. I never thought to ask him for a home number or any family information, so it wasn’t as if I could get a hold of anyone in his family. I felt so stupid that I didn’t get that info. I was so blinded by his presence that it just didn’t seem important. He promised he’d take me to meet his parents when he came back home.

I tried an online search for O’Brian’s’ and over 150 results in the Houston and surrounding areas. I found I had no luck in finding the right O’Brian family. Most were not who I was looking for and the rest were no answer.

When October came and went, I knew I was at a standstill. I turned eighteen, a day I was hoping to share with Konner, but now I knew it wouldn’t happen. I felt my love for him could endure, so I didn’t want to give up.

By Christmas, I vowed that I would not stop searching for him. Since meeting Konner, I believed he was the one man I wanted to share all my firsts with. No matter the duration, I would remain strong and wait. Anytime, anywhere, somehow I’d make his memory stay with me.

♥

11 months later

On my nineteenth birthday, I knew my faith in Konner returning was fading. I fell into a dormant numbness. I gained about thirty pounds in the past year from all the stress. I was 200 pounds and moved up to a size sixteen. Most of it in fell on my hips and tummy. I still had a big round bottom. I went from star athlete to star flab. My breasts have grown marginally, which wasn’t too bad. I was now a full size D-cup when I was a C before. My belly was slightly rounded, but I still had an hour glass shape, or so Mags told me. My face was a little chubbier and I had some back fat. I honestly really didn’t care anymore. I didn’t think I was ugly, just, meh.

I was still a virgin. Most guys didn’t even look at me. I wasn’t what they wanted when they could have thinner and usually dumber. I was holding onto that part of me that wanted to wait for the right guy. My guy. I solely concentrated on my classes and getting through them as best as I could throughout my depression phase.

Working at a local 24-hour grocery store helped with the sleepless nights. How could six months of being with someone, and that someone just disappear-poof, like a cloud of smoke, rendering me helpless? I honestly don’t know how I’ve survived the past year alone with my average grades and working full-time. If it hadn’t been for Mags to see me through, I might have just given up.

She didn’t understand why I was so determined to wait for someone who obviously didn’t want me anymore. It didn’t take her long to speak her mind.

One day as I was pining, yet again, over my past with a half-gallon of Cookies n’ Cream ice cream, she let me have it. That was Magdalene. Fierce and bold.

“Honestly, Siddaleigh, wake the fuck up. Get over this crazy obsession with this guy. You haven’t heard anything from him, maybe he’s dead.”

“No! Don’t say something like that, Mags. That’s such an awful thing to say.”

“Ok, yes, it was. I am sorry but maybe it’s time to move on. Your grades are getting shitty. You’re working yourself into an early frickin’ grave. Have we not become besties, Siddaleigh Mare? You were so happy when we met and then all of a sudden, no word from this guy and you’re so depressed. You don’t want to injure yourself, do you? I’m not leaving you, Siddaleigh. Besties always. Pinkie promise, Sidda.”

“You’re right. I just, you know. I really love him, Magda.”

I only called her that if I was really serious. She hated her full name and I at least respected that. So I called her Magda instead, I thought her full name was pretty, but she somehow hated it with a passion.

She just sighed heavily and sat down next to me. She sat with our shoulders touching and she jerked the spoon out of my hand and took a big scoop for herself. What’s better than having a best friend whose comfortable eating off the same spoon? One who’s just as chubby as you, or close to being chubby as you are. Where I gained, she stayed the same size twelve.

She looked like a 1950’s pin up girl, even with her jet black hair that hung to her waist. I wouldn’t even call her chubby. Back when I was a fresh freshman, people thought I could resemble Marilyn Monroe except I had waist length hair. With the weight I’ve gained, I just felt-bleh.

“Sidda, let him go, babe. There will other guys out there. Hello! Not even twenty years old and you’re resigning yourself to a life as an old maid! Let’s live! Just a bit, girlfriend.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. Probably the first laugh I’ve let pass my lips in over ten months. It felt refreshingly good.

“Alright. It is time. I’m gonna go out and get a new perspective.”

I got up, passed her my ice cream and retreated to my room.

I printed and then deleted his e-mails from my laptop and went to the last place we were together. I knew this was the best place to lay my memories to rest. I realized my heart was breaking, with a deep painful ache making itself a home inside of me.

Konner told me that he always came to the lake when he needed to think and be alone. It gave him a calming peace and let his mind rest. He said that although the lake wasn’t private, I was the only woman he brought here and that I was special to him.

He would speak the language of his Irish heritage, Gaelic, to me all the time when we had been together. Whenever he spoke it to me, I would ask him to explain what he was saying. Instead, he would just smile, wink and told me one day I would know what it all means. He had wanted to teach it to me and take me to Ireland. He had a lot of family and wanted me to see ‘true beauty, besides yourself’.

Luckily for me, the lake was deserted at this time of evening. I found a nice quiet spot to sit down and taking out the e-mails, I began burning them with a lighter I brought with me.

“Kon, my love, I know waiting for you is what I should do. It just feels like I can’t do it anymore! I don’t know how much longer I…I thought I could wait it out. I hav-haven’t heard from you in over a year! It hurts so much. I don’t think I’m ever gonna see you again. I hope and pray you’re alright and safe. You, Nathan and your brothers in arms. Wherever you are. I pray to God, He keeps you safe from harm.”

I couldn’t help the tears that begged to be released. My voice was ragged and I continued my bantering.

“Oh God, Konner! I don’t know. I miss you and the time we shared together. All the…the long conversations and walks on the lake. And those tender kisses you gave me. I know you did not want to rush me. I know you’re the one for me, Konner. How do I go on without you, Konner!? Tell me! I wish I knew how to forget you!”

I buried my face in my hands, and let go of all the hurt and pain I’ve felt over the last year. I hated that I let myself get like this. All stupid and crazy over a guy. Even though I knew he was my one, I never expected to become this shell. This ghost that I’ve made myself into be.

“Maybe you can, sweetheart,” at the sudden dark male voice, I screeched and whipped my head around to the mysterious voice. When I looked up, the man was of average height, maybe 5’11 or six foot, but very handsome. He walked towards me and sat down beside me, even in his suit, tie and what looked to be expensive shoes.

“I didn’t hear anyone out here. I’ll leave.”

I made an attempt to standup when the man reached gently for my hands and rubbed his thumbs over my knuckles.

“I’m sorry I scared you and interrupted you. When I heard crying and shouting, I thought someone was in trouble and decided to investigate. I got here and you were alone. Are you alright?”

This stranger didn’t know me but came to my rescue just the same. It was really sweet of him.

We talked for a few minutes when he asked me, “There’s this little cafe about ten minutes from here around Kemah. If you’d like, we can go so I can cheer up that beautiful face. We can go separately and we can stay as long as you like.”

The man let go of my hands and waited for an answer. I didn’t know what I was doing when I agreed, but I felt a calm settle over me that made my heartache fade somewhat.

“My name is Siddaleigh Carrington. What’s yours?”

“Hi, Siddaleigh, sweet. My name is Mikhail Thompson.”

He reached his hand out to shake mine and I took it.

“It’s nice meeting you, Mikhail.”

His face lit up and he reciprocated. “Trust me, the pleasure is all mine.”

2

Dirty Laundry

Six months later

It was during the end of spring semester when Mikhail asked me to move in with him. He was not a fan of Mags, who was outspoken and always spoke her mind. She never filtered the filth in her words.

When walking into our apartment for the first time, she was all, ‘I’m taking the master bedroom. Love you, girl, but I got way more shit than you’. That was fine for me. I think that’s why I loved her. We became besties immediately. I never really had any real close friends in high school. She dealt with all the bull crap that happened between me and my dream guy like clockwork. She took really good care of me throughout it all.

Konner. Even that day when I met Mikhail and I came home late, Mags hadn’t asked me anything except, “Did you exorcize that demon that’s been weighing you down?”

I hadn’t wanted to let go of him, he meant everything to me. In a small part of my heart, I would always belong to him. As ever, Mags had a point. It was time to live my life, and thinking back, Mikhail made it bearable. Fun. Worth living again.

Mikhail, who was the heir of a large fortune, told me he worked for his dad in a major bank in New York City. He came to Houston to build an empire for him. As he went back and forth from NYC to here, we met, had gotten together and our friendship grew quickly. Over the course of the past few months his return to NYC had dimmed with only one or two monthly visits.

He was only twenty-three. His parents, or really his father, he said, was loaded. Like, seriously loaded. I didn’t think he cared for his socialite mother much. He rarely talked about her. Or really anything about his life in NYC but that was okay. I wanted his now. Not his past.

He was so sweet to me. Catered to my every need. Although I didn’t really have many needs, he told me all he wanted to do was take care of me. That I shouldn’t want for nothing when I am with him.

For Christmas this past year, he bought me an iPhone. So my old flip phone was taken back to the retailers to recycle. I loved my new smartphone.

New phone; fresh flowers were sent to the apartment every week. Fresh tulips. Purple colored tulips. My favorite color, if not flower. Mags would gag at them every time they were delivered. I thought it was a tad over kill but it was a sweet gesture. He gave me money to have mani-pedi’s. Which secretly I loved because I’ve never had it done before, not even when I went to prom. That enabled me to put a good amount of money in an account so I could save up for my dream.

We haven’t had sex yet, much to my relief. Our kisses were easy, and playful. I’d only ever really kissed Konner and his kisses that made me beg for another. Strong, deep and soulful. Something to behold and often like a day dream. Like it could be our last, every time.

Thinking about Konner always brought a burning sting to my eyes. That constant deep agony weighing on the depths of my soul was slowly fading though. That night at the café, I told Mikhail all about Konner. He knew there was a place in my heart for the man that stole it that fateful summer. He assured me that it would never be a problem. ‘First loves will always have a place in your heart’, he told me.

Over the past months, Mikhail became a more permanent fixture in my little world. He was here. That was what was important to me. He called every day to ask how my day was going and between classes and work, we texted constantly. He said he couldn’t get enough of me. Made me feel like a giddy middle school girl on her first crush.

When he asked me to move in with him, I said yes. He made me happy. He helped me let go of Konner. I was a work in progress, Mikhail liked telling me.

I suppose living with a man would be different, but with Mikhail, it was like I was learning about a totally new person. Mags made me promise to call or text her every day. She always told me Mikhail was creepy, manipulative and I was acting like a doormat.

After arguing about this with her over the course of the next few weeks of me living with him, I blew up.

“Shut the hell up, Mags! He isn’t manipulating me. I think I would know the difference. God, lay the heck off. You’re just jealous.”

After that, the arguments stopped. She still told me to call her every day because with our schedules so different, it would be hard to see each other. She was still my bestie, so I ended up apologizing for snapping. I knew she really cared about me, but I knew what I was doing. Everything would be fine.

God, how wrong I ended up being. So horribly wrong.

♥

After living together for a month, Mikhail had started asking me to iron and starch his laundry. He told me he hated going to the dry cleaners, because the only ‘good one’ was out of his way. I was eager to please him, because I believed I was falling hard for him.

However, I didn’t really know how to iron or starch because I’ve never done it before. I never wore clothes that required it. He just chuckled and told me to try it. He needed me to pitch in and do my part around the house.

I told him I would be more than happy to take them to and from the dry cleaners and he just looked at me with surprise.

He said, “It’s not hard, just starch using the spray and move the iron until the clothing is smooth and just ‘slightly’ stiff. I would really appreciate you taking care of this yourself, Siddaleigh Mare. It shouldn’t be a hassle.”

He even went into detail about when I was through with that, how he liked his clothes a certain way. All facing the same way; shirts-long sleeve then short-then his jeans, slacks and then pant suits folded like the way you see at stores. Folded at the crotch and back instead of folding them from side to side. Which was really weird for me since I hated pants that looked like that. Made them seem like a person, namely me, was fatter than I really wanted to look. But for him, I’d give it my best. Wanting to please him, I gave him a shy smile and nodded happily.

Wash. Dry. Starch. Iron. What could go wrong?

Evidently, everything.

♥

That Sunday night when he came back, he smiled and kissed me a little bit rougher than what his normal kisses were like.

“How was your weekend, baby?” Mikhail asked me as he walked to his bedroom. I followed him into the room and sat on the bench at the end of the bed. He ventured into the closet, I assumed to change.

“It was good, went to get mani-pedi’s with my mother and sisters,” I told him cheerfully. It wasn’t often I got to see them, with school taking up so much time and the other time spent with Mikhail. He stopped in the middle of taking his suit jacket off and I noticed the way he tensed up and his jaw tighten. He looked back at me, tilted his head and smirked.

I thought that was a little strange but just added it up to him having a long day and was tired. I told him about spending the afternoon with them.

“Glad you had fun, sweetheart. Did you do as you were told before you went gallivanting with your family?”

There was an edge in Mikhail’s voice when he said this and his eyes focused on my face, hardening in subtle fury. His total reaction to me leaving the house was confusing.

“What? Your clothes? I took care of all that this morning,” shaking my head, I laughed. “It was quite a lot I admit, but it only took me a few hours and it’s all finished and in the closet.”

He nodded, then turned to look at his side of the closet. It looked like he was inspecting something, but I knew I did as he asked. After about five minutes or so, he pointed to me and turned his finger to crook me over to him.

“Come here, now.”

The steel in his eyes and voice made me feel nervous.

“Yes, Mikhail? What’s wrong?” That’s when I see the disgust on his face.

“Do you see a problem here, Siddaleigh? Tell me what it is.”

I looked from him to his clothes and just shook my head in confusion.

“Nothing. I washed, ironed and put them back. Just like you said, Mikhail. What could possibly be wrong?”