Authors: Nick Sharratt

Love Lessons (24 page)

BOOK: Love Lessons

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âYeah, and you and I know why. You're such a
weird
girl, Prue. Here's you looking at hot stuff like this as cool as a cucumber, and yet you get all fussed when I simply try to kiss you.'

I wondered what he'd think if he saw the way I kissed Rax. It all seemed so sad. There was Rita wanting Toby and Toby wanting me and me wanting Rax â but Rax wanted me back. He
did
want me, I knew he did. Though why had he seemed so unhappy last night, in spite of everything?

âPrue?' said Toby.

âWhat?'

âAre you all right? You look as if you've got a pain.'

âNo. No, I'm fine. I just want to be on my own for a bit, Toby. You go now. Look, take one of the naughty vicar books. If anything will encourage you to read, he will. And if it gets too much of a struggle you can always look at the pictures.'

âAre you sure? I'll buy it. How much is it?'

âI haven't a clue. It isn't priced. Just take it.'

âWell, I'll just borrow it if you don't mind. Can I have a bag or something? I don't want my mum or my sisters to see it!'

Mum and Grace came into the shop while Toby was leaving. Mum looked disappointed.

âCan't you stay a bit, lad? We're just going to have a cup of tea and some shortbread. And if you can wait half an hour or so, I'm making a batch of rock cakes to take to the hospital this afternoon.'

âDo stay, Toby,' said Grace. âMum's rock cakes taste so yummy when they're hot out of the oven.'

So Toby stayed, holding his book bag very gingerly, as if it was burning his hands.

âWhat have you got there, then, Toby?' Mum asked.

Toby went scarlet. âOh, nothing,' he said foolishly.

âNothing?' said Mum. âIt's one of our books, isn't it? What have you been buying?'

I waited to see what he'd say. He seemed at a total loss for words.

âToby's a bit embarrassed about it,' I said, teasing him.

Toby looked agonized.

âIt's actually an old Rupert annual. He used to love them when he was little, but he feels silly wanting a kid's comic book.'

âOh,
sweet
,' said Grace. âI always loved Rupert, Toby. Hey, my friend Figgy told me this great joke. What's Rupert's middle name? Can't you guess? It's “The”. You know, Rupert
the
Bear.' She went into peals of laughter.

Toby laughed too, relieved. He was very kind to Grace, chuckling at joke after stupid joke. He was very polite to Mum, chomping up the last of her shortcake and then eating
three
rock cakes, rolling his eyes and kissing his fingers in a pantomime of appreciation.

I was grateful to him but irritated too. My sister's silly jokes were excruciating. My mum had simply made a batch of boring old rock cakes, for goodness' sake.

âI wish my mum made cakes,' said Toby.

âRock cakes are very simple, lad. I'll write you out the recipe. Your mum could whip you up a batch in a jiffy.'

âMy mum isn't a whipper-upper. She's a shove-it-in-the-microwave lady,' said Toby. He nodded at Grace and me. âYou're so lucky! It must be wonderful to have real home baking.'

âWe
are
lucky,' said Grace, giving Mum a hug.

I felt such a pang. Why couldn't I be nice like them? Why did I always have to be so prickly and grudging and difficult?

Oh God, did I take after Dad?

âTell you what, you ought to sell your shortbread and rock cakes in the bookshop,' said Toby. âYes, serve coffee and home-made cakes. They do that in bookshops now â the one down the shopping centre's got a coffee shop; it would be very popular with your customers.'

â
What
customers?' I said.

âOh dear,' said Mum. âPrue's right. We really don't seem to get many customers nowadays.'

âYou want to advertise your books on the Internet. That's how everyone does business nowadays,' said Toby. âI could help you set it all up. I can't really type it all out for you, I'd get the words mixed up, but Prue could do that.'

âBut we haven't got a computer, Toby. They cost hundreds of pounds.'

âNo probs! My eldest sister's going out with a guy who works in this fancy office and they're forever upgrading their equipment and chucking the old stuff out. He could get hold of a perfectly good PC for you for next to nothing. Then you could surf the Net, look at e-bay, see what sort of book bargains people were offering. I bet it would make all the difference to your business.'

âDo you really think so?' Mum said, leaning forward eagerly.

âI
know
so,' said Toby, swaggering a little. âThat's how most businesses are run now. You can trade on the Internet and send the books off by post. Grace could package them all up for you, couldn't you, Grace?'

âOoh yes, I could do. I'm good at doing parcels. And I
love
bubble wrap, it's such fun to pop,' said Grace.

âThat way you'd attract a new type of customer. Then if we also tidied up the shop a bit, gave it a lick of paint, advertised your coffee and cakes, it would appeal to your traditional book buyer too.'

They were staring at him as if he was a second Moses and he had Ten Business Commandments straight from God. They
were
good ideas too. This boy who could barely read had far better ideas than I'd ever had.

âToby's right, Mum,' I said.

Toby flicked his hair out of his eyes and gave me a huge, dazzling grin. Grace sighed. Mum sighed too.

âI know Toby's got some very good ideas,' she said. âBut what would your dad say? You know what he thinks about computers. He'd never agree to have one in the shop. I'm sure he wouldn't like the coffee and cake idea either. He'd think I was trying to turn the shop into a cafÃ©.'

âYou could do it while Dad's still in hospital,' I said.

âOh Prue, I wouldn't dare,' said Mum. She paused. âWould I?'

She went on about it after Toby went off, clutching his Victorian volume in his carrier bag. She talked about it on the bus all the way to the hospital.

âPerhaps now he'll see we have to change with the times,' she muttered. âWe could try out this computer idea, especially if we got it for almost nothing. And I could maybe ask one or two customers if they'd fancy a cup of coffee. I could try it out for free first, to see if they liked the idea. What would be the harm in that?'

âThat's it. Mum, you tell Dad,' I said.

But when we got to the stroke unit Dad had something to tell
us
.

He wasn't in bed as usual. He wasn't even in his pyjamas and dressing gown. He was sitting bolt upright on one of the plastic chairs, dressed in his old suit, the one he'd been wearing when he'd had his stroke. He even had his tie neatly knotted. He clutched a notebook on his lap.

âOh Bernard, you look wonderful, dear! Quite your old self!' said Mum.

âYou look ever so smart, Dad,' said Grace.

âHello, Dad. You really do look great,' I said.

He nodded at us all, taking his time, like a king on his throne waiting for his unruly courtiers to settle down. Mum wedged herself into another plastic chair and Grace and I perched uncomfortably on the end of the bed.

Dad cleared his throat. We sat expectantly. He raised the notebook lopsidedly, his good hand doing most of the work. He fumbled with the pages, trying to get it open at the beginning. Mum leaped up to help but he glared at her furiously, so she subsided again. Dad fiddled with the flimsy paper. I saw my own careful printing. It was my truncated version of his Magnum Opus! It hadn't got lost at all.

Dad cleared his throat once more. âI â Bernard King â think â think â think â my â home-town â of â Kingtown â reflects â the â moral â degeneracy â of â our â current â unstable â and â unsatisfactory â age.'

He said it very slowly, without expression, struggling at each word, his mouth working as if he was chewing toffee, his eyebrows going up and down with the effort. But he
said
it, the entire sentence.

âBravo!' said Mum, clapping him, tears pouring down her cheeks.

âBrill, Dad! Like, wow!' said Grace.

Dad winced at each word but for once let it ride. He looked at me triumphantly.

âI thought you'd thrown it away, Dad!' I said.

âAha!' said Dad.

âYou seemed totally fed up with the whole idea of reading aloud,' I said.

âWith â you,' said Dad.

âSo you've been secretly practising all by yourself?'

Nurse Ray put her head round the door. âI should say so! He's been at it night and day for weeks, head in that book, mutter mutter mutter. I offered to help him but he wouldn't be having it. Wanted to teach himself, bless him.'

Dad huffed, irritated by her tone.

âOoh, don't get shirty with me now, Bernard,' Nurse Ray said. âYou know you love me really, don't you, darling?'

Dad rocked backwards and forwards at her presumption, and she laughed at him.

âHave you told them your good news?' said Nurse Ray.

âGood news,' Dad agreed.

âIt's splendid news, Bernard, seeing you reading your own book!' said Mum. âCan you manage a bit more?'

Dad shook his head. âGood news â going home!'

âYes, dear, you carry on making progress like this and you'll soon be better and able to come home,' said Mum.

Dad tutted at her. âGoing home
now
,' he said. âToday.
Now!
'

âWell, not just yet, dear. When the doctors say so,' Mum said, flustered.

Nurse Ray was nodding at her. âHe's right! That's why we've got him all dressed up a treat in his suit. Dear God, I had to tie that tie for him three times and he still wasn't satisfied. Like I said, Bernard, you need a nice comfy sweatshirt and a pair of trackie bottoms, then you can whip them on and off in seconds.'

Dad said a very rude word to show what he thought of sweatshirts and trackies.

âHe can come home right this minute?' said Mum.

â
Now!
' Dad said impatiently.

âWe had a case conference yesterday and we all agreed that Bernard's more than ready to leave us,' said Nurse Ray. âHe's made that perfectly clear!'

âBut he can't walk!' said Mum.

âHe can stand, and shuffle a few paces with his Zimmer if he puts his mind to it. We're willing to arrange some out-patient physiotherapy â
if
His Lordship co-operates!'

Dad shook his head at this.

âBut how will he get about?' Mum said weakly.

âWe'll let you borrow a wheelchair from the unit, and if you get in touch with this phone number here someone will come out and assess the sort of chair Bernard will need for the future. They'll install hand supports in the bathroom and give you a commode if necessary.'

â
Not!
' said Dad. âRight. Home. Now.'

He looked at us. His eyes swivelled from Mum to Grace to me. He breathed more quickly, his mouth working. âNot want me?' he said.

âOh Bernard, of
course
we want you back! It's just such a shock. But it's lovely, a lovely surprise,' Mum burbled.

Grace and I were still so stunned we couldn't say a word.

âI've got Bernard's bag all packed, and he's got all the medication he needs for the next few weeks. Make sure he takes his Warfarin.'

âRat poison!' said Dad.

âYes, but you're not a rat, darling, and it's thinning your blood nicely so you don't have another stroke,' said Nurse Ray, putting her arm round him. âI shall miss your grumpy little ways, Sugar Lump!' She gave him a big kiss on his whiskery cheek.

Dad huffed again, but he patted her with his good hand.

Then we had to get him home.

âWill the ambulance men come and collect us?' said Mum.

âNo dear, we can't spare an ambulance. Can't you take him in your car?'

âWe haven't
got
a car,' said Mum. âWe can't take my husband on the
bus
!'

We had to call a minicab and manoeuvre Dad into the front, Mum and me heaving him onto the seat and tucking his legs in, while he snapped at us impatiently. Then Mum squeezed into the back seat, Grace and me squashed in beside her, with the wheelchair collapsed in the boot.

It cost Â£11.50 to get home. Mum could only just scrape up enough money from her purse, and the cab driver had to do without a tip.

We sat Dad in the wheelchair and then struggled to get him up the step and into the shop. Dad snuffled up the stale smell of book as if the room was full of roses.

âHome now,' he said.