Love Redone (13 page)

Trying to keep his mind on the task at hand instead of in her panties, Nick
made a quick bee-line for the bathroom before his libido got the best of him

* * *

The squeak of surprise she emitted when Nick hoisted her in his arms changed to alarm when Shannon realized instantly that, barely covered as she was in her ridiculously short baby-doll nightie, from this position not only was she crushed against his chest, but one of his hands was gripping her torso at a spot that caused one of her breasts to pillow against his fingers.

To make matters a thousand times worse, in the short, flimsy nightie that only came to the tops of her legs, the supporting arm under her bottom was separated from her heat by a rather sensible pair of simple white panties with a bit of lace and nothing else.  Shannon’s undignified state of undress was not helping her remain in control of the predicament she found herself in
and she tried desperately to tug down her tiny nightie while trying to retain some sense of composure in this odd situation

Navigating unsuccessfully thr
ough waves of sensual awareness, it didn’t register right away where they were headed, but the second Shannon understood that he was taking her to the en suite bath, she all but leapt out of his arms in panic.

Oh no, no
, no! This can’t be happening; this
cannot
be happening, her mind screamed.  Even if she had to start crying hysterically, Shannon knew she had to stop him before he took her into that room. There was no way she was prepared to deal with the fallout of what the two of them in the addition she had built to her unique specifications would mean once he got a good look at the magnificent wet room where he was heading.  While entirely her vision, it was also a picture-perfect re-creation of another space, one they would both have distinct memories of.

Letting go of the nightgown she had been clutching in a lame attempt at modesty, Shannon reached out and grabbed his bicep as if trying to jerk him to a stop
, saying as calmly as her near-hysterical brain would allow, “Um, Nick…don’t you think it better to take me to the small bathroom like we did last night?” Her suddenly over-bright eyes darted in the direction of the en suite.  He kept walking while her alarm rapidly increased the closer they got to the open doors leading to the bath.

Beyond panicked
, she tried again. “Nick, really!” she implored in what she hoped was a no-nonsense, authoritative voice. 

It was her worst nightmare. What would he think when he realized for himself the sacred space she had created here in her home
? She had her answer when seconds later he took a sharp intake of breath and she felt his chest expand and his fingers dig into her pliant flesh.  Shannon didn’t know what to do.  She knew what he was seeing, but she didn’t know what to say. She had to remind herself to keep breathing as her panic went off the chart.

T
hough still moving forward, Nick found himself slowing considerably when her alarm had been so obvious as he searched for whatever was causing her noticeable distress. 

Sensing nothing obvious
, he looked down at Shannon in the exact moment they stepped through to the enormous room. Her still silence struck him then, as did her ashen face and trembling lips.
What the
…?

He looked up, expecting he didn’t know what, and found a scene unfolding before him
, exploding in his brain like it was shot from a missile held deep in his memory. He gulped in a huge breath and felt his grip on her body tightening while she continued to be so still and silent in his hold.

Nick couldn’t believe what was before his eyes. The large open room was beautifully constructed to match the style of the rest of the house with no expense being spared as far as he could tell
, for all the fixtures were elegantly modern and of noticeable quality.  It was the design, layout, and the distinctive tile accents that brought him up short, for here before him, in her home in Southern California, Shannon had re-created the distinctive Moroccan-inspired tile wet room from the house where they’d stayed the first time they’d made love.

Every detail was there, even the beautiful French doors
that opened to a private terrace outside. An elaborate small chandelier, looking like it had been rescued from the Kasbah itself, hung above a wide bathing platform littered with a mélange of carefully placed candle holders that would emit a sensual ambiance when lit.  He recalled another room just like this one when flickering shadows against the vivid reds, blues, and greens of the magnificent tiled bath had lit up a night of a thousand delights and tried not to groan.

On the far side of the room from this enormous step-up tub platform was an antique-style fainting couch and two small, ornately carved wooden tables nestled in the corner beneath a series of wide windows
that met the French doors.  Several large plants completed the corner that led to the far wall and a beautiful built-in vanity over which hung an elaborate gilded oval mirror.

Further along the side wall near the front corner of the room was a large and elaborate
-looking digital shower that was open except for the waist-high walls on two sides of the space with a bench running along the shower side of one wall. The sight of that shower bench ignited a tableau of wicked memories from their shared past that made him clench his jaw and grit his teeth in frustration.

Having done almost a complete circle of the room
, Nick noticed behind him, to the side of the doors, was another space tucked away for the toilet and sink area.

She’d reconstructed in near
-precise detail down to the tiniest minutiae the original layout of a room he would have known without hesitation, right down to the small fireplace next to the tub platform. The truth was there for all to see.

She wasn’t over him. The way she all but melted each time he touched her told him plenty
, but the sight of this room told a story that went straight to his soul. The way he’d cruelly forced her from his life and slammed a door on their future hadn’t been enough to send her seeking a happy life once he’d gone from her.  Oh, dear god. What had he done? How much bigger of a fool could he have been? He just had to set this right.

The pounding of his heart and the quaking female form clutched in his arms added to the humbling emotions quickly gathering in Nick’s consciousness. He couldn’t seem to speak
, and truth be told, he didn’t know what he’d say if he could.  He felt a sobering sense of awareness at what his presence in this most private space must be costing her.  He highly doubted, judging by the way she tried to dissuade him from accessing this room, that she’d meant for him to see it.  Knowing what she’d created only heaped more shame on his past behavior. Fighting for control, he softened his hold on her and walked calmly to the enclosed toilet area where he matter-of-factly lowered her gently down before quickly excusing himself so she could have some privacy.

After placing her carefully on the floor where she could balance next to the toilet, Nick shielded his face from her while quietly backing away, leaving Shannon to tremble and shake away from his prying eyes. Her carefully controlled world was breaking into pieces, bit by bit, and maybe for the first time she was allowing some small but insistent part of herself to admit that imagining the past would stay in the past was a false pretense in light of the story this room told.

Shannon forced her mind’s eye to see the thousand tiny strands she had woven int
o her life throughout the years that when threaded together created a colorful tapestry that bespoke of love, love lost, and a woman’s most secret hidden desires. She shook her head in dismay at the foolishness of thinking all this time that she was somehow over him, in control of her own destiny and immune to the longings of her heart.

This room was only the start
, for when he went into her office he would find a large antique apothecary jar perched on her desk filled with black licorice, associated wholly with him. There was more, a lot more, but right at this moment, she forced the requirements of her body to overtake the reflections of her mind and set about dealing with her immediate needs.

In the end
, balancing on one foot while being ever-mindful to put no pressure on her injured ankle was easier than expected due in no short measure to years of yoga training. She had to call out again for Nick’s assistance getting from the toilet room to the tub where she planned to soak in a warm bath long enough to get her jumbled emotions under control. Or so she hoped.

When he stepped back to her side and gently picked her up as though she were a delicate piece of fragile glass
, she noticed immediately that he was avoiding her eyes.  Just as well, she winced inwardly. With her own emotions careening all over the place, she knew she wasn’t ready to deal with his rejection again so certain was she that he was probably embarrassed by all of this.

What man wouldn’t be turned off by so blatant an indulgence in what ended up being nothing more than a fantasy?  Her fantasy.  Not his.  He’d made that clear in his “Dear Shannon” letter
, although she had to admit he’d made a pretty compelling case last evening when trying to explain why he’d acted the way he had eight years past.

Maybe avoiding her gaze wasn’t due to embarrassment.  In his embrace
, she felt care and tenderness along with concern. Perhaps he was remembering what had taken place in the mirror image of this room all those years ago. Her own memories of it making desire gather in the soles of her feet and spread along her limbs before shooting up her spine and exploding along her neck and face.

Nick didn’t miss the blush
that moved across her body in a rush of heat he felt suffuse everywhere that their bodies touched.  He knew what she was thinking, knew what she was remembering, and tried like the devil to stay focused on the present. He was humbled by what her response was telling him on a deeply primal level. But now was not the time, he kept chanting in his screaming brain as he locked his jaw even harder with iron-willed determination and moved quickly to place her half-undressed form on the raised bathing platform.

If anyone
ever
insinuated that he had anything less than ironclad control over himself, he would probably murder them. Where he found the presence of mind to not embarrass himself every ten seconds, he did not know. What he did know, however, was that he had a formidable erection that seemed to be ever-present and was steadily robbing him of his composure.

Acting quickly
, he grabbed the robe draped across the fainting couch before picking up a stack of soft towels and placing these things within her reach as he turned to start the water rushing into the tub.

He began to say something
but his voice failed, making him clear his throat and swallow deeply a few times.

Watching silently, Shannon realized he
seemed, well… different. Nothing could alter his elemental life force—he still dominated whatever space he was in—but the face looking back at her was not one of someone who was king of all he surveyed. All his money and power didn’t matter in this room, in this moment, as they fell cautiously into each other’s gaze. What she had created here had somehow leveled the playing field until all that mattered was that they remembered how it was before life and responsibilities had gotten in the way.

H
e looked
shaken,
making her feel relieved to know she wasn’t the only one in the midst of a great struggle. Once more, as though she had been doing it every day of the last eight years, Shannon cautiously reached out and grabbed his large hand in her much, much smaller one. It was a reflex motion meant to comfort and one she couldn’t have stopped if she tried to, for to care deeply about this giant of a man was something her nature could not deny.

“Thank you again
,” she said in a whisper just barely audible over the sound of water rushing from the rubbed-bronze faucet that more than slightly resembled the shape of a genie’s lamp.

She was enchanting in her discomfiture
, sitting there surrounded by the vividly colored tiles, biting her lip again, squeezing his hand.

What could he say? She didn’t need to thank him
, but now was not the time for specifics. “Call when you’re ready to move again.”

Without warning he bent forward and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead and then swiftly turned to leave
, forcing her to finally release the hand she had grabbed and then held onto for long moments.

W
hile the tub filled with warm water and mounds of glorious foamy bubbles, Shannon tried to enjoy the familiar scent of her all-time favorite bath indulgence, a line of organic almond-honey products she had stumbled upon at an outdoor community art festival right after her arrival in Southern California.

This was yet another thread, this visceral connection to something meant to stir the senses
, for she’d discovered the benefits of milk, honey, and nut hull concoctions from the tribal women during her time on the other side of the world. The tub that they’d shared the first night they took a bath together had also been overflowing with mountains of scented foam that had wrapped them both in a seductive cloud.

Her attempted enjoyment in the moment stalled in the wake of the rushing memories
that were coming at her now fast and furious. The floodgates had been opened and she didn’t know how to stop what was happening between them.  The traitorous desire she felt for him was making it impossible to know whether she really wanted to stop what was happening. Somehow she suspected that she would gladly throw herself into the oncoming path of heartache once again.  The moments of joy and happiness she knew, however brief, with him were worth a lifetime of loneliness if that was the price to be paid for knowing what perfection could be like.

Scooting her naked butt across the lightly heated tiles, Shannon lowered herself into the warmth and comfort of her cloud
-filled tub and willed herself to relax while laying her head back against the sloped side of the bath and staring with unseeing eyes at the crystal-covered chandelier hanging overhead. She saw nothing because the moment the water enveloped her body she was swept back in time, across the years, to five special days and erotic nights, which had changed everything.

* * *

Their relationship had started off as a mutual flirtation that blossomed rather quickly into something much, much deeper.  Working closely together as they did, each had seen the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly in each other’s character. The nature of the work they were engaged in gave them the need and the opportunity to communicate openly and without evasiveness from the start.  They’d earned a measure of the other’s respect from the outset and had simply fallen into line when their deepening friendship became an affair of the heart with a heavy dose of twenty-something hormones thrown in.

Shannon had been a helpless innocent, having been not much more than kissed when she landed her African fellowship, even though she was three years into her college experience. Being raised by older parents and surrounded her entire childhood and youth by the types of nerdy geeks and super
-serious academics who made up her family’s circle of friends and associates, she was without sophistication when it came to guy-girl matters. 

In fact, before meeting Nick and experiencing the sensation of being
totally  swept away by longing and urges that she couldn’t even name, Shannon’s only previous foray into sexual awareness occurred during one of those ghastly seven-minutes-in-heaven encounters, which she found repulsive and undignified.  Being pawed at and slobbered over, even if it had been with a very cute, quite popular, and not-at-all-nerdy college jock had been a horrendous experience.

Even then
, Shannon was searching for something deeper, something more meaningful than what some 18-year-old footballer with clumsy hands and a slimy tongue could offer. She needed to feel things.  Needed to immerse herself in the sensations that came with the opening of the senses. 
Wham bam
was just never going to be her style.

In her seduction, Nick’s pirate persona took control
.  Setting a course, negotiating ever-changing conditions, altering tactics to meet every situation, relentlessly plundering whatever she was willing to give. He’d seemed as taken with her as she’d been charmed by him. By the time an opportunity arose that would find them traveling away from the project to escort some important diplomats and business leaders to one of the coastal cities after a tour of their locale, Nick and Shannon had been ardent lovers in all but deed.

To say they’d jumped at the chance to leave behind their primitive accommodations for a spell and enjoy some modern conveniences was an understatement.  At least that’s how it looked to their envious project-mates
—as if they couldn’t wait to get a soft bed, a television, and an iced drink, when in fact what was actually happening was a heart-pounding awareness that being away and in a metropolitan city would also mean they’d be alone.  In private.  Away from prying eyes, protocols, and judgments.  A time-out when they could at long last feed the long-denied urges of frustrated lovers.

They’d had a jolly time with their travelling companions on the way to their destination
, with Shannon providing the nuanced interpretation and translation needed with this diverse group of important people while Nick managed the logistics and details in that take-charge way he had that she found rather compelling. He was magnificent when he was calling the shots.

The chief diplomat on the fact-finding adventure had been charmed by Shannon’s impeccable ladylike presence and the facile way she had of bringing them all together despite the language and cultural barriers present
and said so quite frequently. As a special thank-you, he’d arranged for them to have the use of a guest home his family maintained in the hills above the port city where they ended their journey. Quite proud of the modernization of their family getaway, he told them enthusiastically of the beautiful scenery, the comfortable décor, the fabulous kitchen, and the magnificent bathhouse.  She and Nick could barely contain their excitement at being given access to such a fabulous opportunity.

Expecting to have gotten stuck in one of the bland hotels catering to
Westerners, but nonetheless grateful that they’d be able to enjoy a slice of normalcy in private, it was a thrilling moment when, after following some interesting verbal directions, Nick found their way to a whitewashed bungalow in the hills with a spectacular view of the ocean and an opportunity for complete privacy neither had anticipated.

Once inside the lovely home
, they’d giggled and laughed excitedly over simple things such as the running water, electricity,
air conditioning,
and a real kitchen.  But it was the wet room that impressed them both.  Full of youthful zeal, Shannon had rocketed into action and playfully pushed him from the room, declaring that a shower and tons of unlimited hot water took precedent over everything else. It was a cute memory that brought a delicate smile to Shannon’s face.

Sometime later
, Shannon had emerged dressed in a pale-colored sundress that seemed to make Nick’s usually fluent tongue desert him.  Used to seeing her in jeans or khaki shorts and utilitarian T-shirts, he appeared mesmerized by her feminine dress. Until that moment she hadn’t fully appreciated her own femininity.

Deep in reverie, Shannon refreshed the warm water and some of the foamy suds as she continued allowing her mind to replay this moment from the past.  Nick had found all sorts of food items and supplies graciously provided by their hosts from which he created an improvised tapas tray to feed both their bodies and their senses.

They sat there, side by side, cross-legged and relaxed on the beautiful terrace under a magnificent pergola that shaded them from the late-afternoon sun, enjoying being together as they talked, ate, and fed each other into the early evening.  She’d thought that time magical.  They’d connected on so many levels, and she knew that she would never find another to his equal.  He was a man amongst men, and she yearned for his possession and all that meant.