Love Will Find a Way (4 page)

Kevin hung his head, “No, of course not."

"Larry?” Emily looked at her younger son.

Larry wiped his hand across his eyes. “Go ahead."

"First, Larry, I don't want Dad to come home if he doesn't want to be here. Can you understand that?"

After a heavy silence, Larry said, “Yeah, I guess I can."

"He will go on being your dad. You will still see him.” She didn't want Larry to think his father was deserting him, too. “He will still be a part of your life, all right?"

"It's not all right,” Larry answered vehemently, “I don't want you and Dad apart."

"You don't have a choice. This was Dad's decision to make and he's made it."

"I'm not hungry, Mom.” A thin line of perspiration beaded Larry's upper lip. “May I be excused?"

She didn't want him to be alone, not now. “Stay a little longer."

Standing, Larry declared, “I need to be by myself for a while."

Kevin intervened. “Let him go, Mom."

Emily watched as her younger son hurried through the door and toward the stairs. As the sound of his feet racing up the steps died away, she turned to meet her older son's steady stare. She was surprised at the anger she saw there. “Kevin, we can't let this destroy our family."

"Family, Mom?” Kevin ridiculed. “What family? We're not a family anymore. Dad has seen to that."

There was no way to salvage her marriage. Emily was striving to accept that fact and deal with it. But she could not, would not, let the fallout from that tragedy rob her of her family, too. “Yes, we are. I'm still your mother. Larry is still your brother. We are still a family unit."

"And Dad?” Kevin asked bitterly. “What about the patriarch of our little clan?"

"He has chosen to be with someone else.” A determined note crept into Emily's voice. “But we mustn't, we can't, let that destroy what we have left."

Kevin's gaze softened. “I'm not thinking straight. I've known about Dad's philandering for a couple of months. I wanted to tell you.” He paused and swallowed. “No, that's not quite true. I felt I should tell you. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I kept hoping he'd come to his senses. Sometimes I felt that I was a worse traitor than Dad was."

Kevin's recent actions suddenly became crystal clear. “Is that why you haven't been to the house for such a long time?"

Kevin hung his head “Yeah."

"I can understand your position.” Her proud, protective Kevin must have spent the last two months in hell. She could relieve him of some of his guilt. “I respect your decision to keep quiet. Frankly, I don't see how you could have done anything else."

He let out a long, whistling sigh of relief. “Thanks, Mom, for understanding."

Emily wiped her eyes with her napkin. “I have to stop thinking of you as a child. You're not."

"I'm glad you realize that."

This was even more difficult than Emily had anticipated. “I hope you're adult enough to understand what I am about to say to you."

"Just don't defend my old man!” Kevin wadded his napkin into a ball and threw it across the table. “I can't stand it when you do that!"

"This is not about Dad. It's about me."

He leaned back in his chair. “Give him hell, Mom. Make him pay!"

Emily drew a long breath. “I don't want this divorce to disintegrate into a nasty name-calling, mudslinging mess. I want to come through it all with some pride left and my self-respect intact. Under the circumstances, I know that will not be an easy task. I'm going to need your help."

"I never thought of it from that angle.” Kevin's angry gaze melted into one of tender compassion. “What can I do?"

"Respect my decisions. Don't berate Dad to Larry and try to be as objective as possible."

It was a long time before he answered. “I can do those things. I was afraid you would ask me to forgive Dad. That's the one thing I can't do."

"You may change your mind later,” Emily assured him with more confidence than she felt.

"Maybe.” Kevin pursed his lips. “But I doubt it."

"I don't intend to butt into the relationship you have with your father. You're both grown men. But Larry is not that mature. He needs our protection.” Her eyes locked onto her son's tortured gaze. “Don't judge your father too harshly. I'm asking that, not for his sake, but for yours."

"I don't want to talk about the old man.” With a wave of his hand, Kevin dismissed the subject. “But I would like to know if there is anything I can do for you?"

Emily smiled through her tears. “You can eat the dinner I cooked for you.” She pushed her chair back. “I have to find Larry and talk to him."

"Mom,” Kevin called as she hastened toward the door, “I agreed to what you asked, now can you do something for me?"

How could she say no? “Yes, Kevin?"

"I know an attorney, a very good attorney. He handled a case for a friend of mine last year. I'll give you his name. Will you go see him, or at least call him?"

"Thank you, Kevin.” Emily put one hand on the stair rail. “I'm grateful for your concern."

When she came back downstairs after a long, rather futile talk with Larry, Kevin was gone. There was a note propped against the sugar bowl. On it was scrawled the name and telephone number of Thaddius T. Thackery, Attorney at Law. Across the top of the page, Kevin had written,
I'll call you in the morning.
Emily folded the note and put it in her pocket.

Early Monday morning she called and made an appointment to see Thaddius Thackery the next Wednesday afternoon.

She had barely put the receiver on the hook again when the telephone clanged to life. She picked up the instrument, expecting to hear Kevin's voice on the other end. Instead Robert's baritone sounded over the wire. “Emily? How are you?"

She could feel that old tightening in her chest. “What do you want?"

He sounded tense and uncertain. “I want to know if you're all right."

"How I am is no longer your concern,” Emily snapped. She was doing the very thing she had vowed she wouldn't do, being petty and vindictive. In a more conciliatory tone, she asked again, “What do you want?"

"I would like to come by this evening and pick up my things.” Uncertainty deepened his voice, “If that's all right with you."

"I've packed them and put them just inside the garage. You have a key.” If she saw him, she would make a fool of herself all over again. “The boxes with your belongings are labeled. Please lock the door when you leave."

"I need to see you, and talk to you."

"Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to my lawyer,” she told him coldly. “And while I think about it, please mail your house keys to me. I don't want the expense of having my locks changed."

"You have an attorney already?” He sounded surprised.

"I have an appointment for later in the week. Good-bye, Robert."

"Don't hang up Emily.” He added a hurried, “Please."

Why, she wondered, did he keep hanging on? “What now?"

"I was wondering,” he said sheepishly, “if you had talked to Kevin and Larry?"

His concern was really for his sons. She should have known. “Kevin was out to dinner last night."

"And?” Robert prodded anxiously.

"He's looking well.” She was not going to run interference for Robert with his children. “Good-bye, Robert. Don't forget to mail the house keys to me.” She hung up the phone.

It began to ring immediately. With a shrug Emily walked from the room.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of pain and ambivalence with Emily telling herself one minute that she shouldn't be around when Robert came for his things, and in the next instant, finding excuses to stay.

Over dinner, Emily explained to Larry that his father would be around later this evening to pick up his belongings. “Maybe the two of you will have a chance to visit for a while."

Larry's eyes glowed. “I'd like that.” Shyly, he asked, “Are you going to see him, too?"

How could Emily answer a question like that? She decided not to even try. “Do you have homework?"

Larry wrinkled his nose, “Yeah, calculus and government."

"Why don't you do it in the living room?” Emily began to stack dishes. “I'll be in when I'm finished here."

Larry pushed back his plate. “Maybe we can persuade Dad to come back home.” His young face was expectant. “We could ask."

She couldn't allow him to entertain false hopes. “I don't think that would be wise."

Larry stood holding onto the back of his chair his eyes following Emily's every movement. “Kevin says Dad has a girlfriend. Is that true?"

Emily struggled for control. “I don't think she's a girl. A young woman would be a more apt description.” She was going to cry, and she didn't want to do it in Larry's presence. Lifting a stack of dishes in each hand, she headed for the kitchen.

Larry called after her, “Why, Mom? Why?"

How could she explain to her young son something she didn't understand herself? This was Robert's problem. He would have to deal with it. “That's something you will have to ask your dad."

The doorbell rang while Emily was putting silverware in the dishwasher. She could hear the sound of voices mingling in conversation as she closed the dishwasher and turned the control to start. Should she go in? Best, she decided, to wait and give Robert some time alone with Larry.

The air was suddenly rent with the clash of loud voices and the slamming of a door. Before Emily could collect her scattered senses, Robert was standing in the kitchen door glaring at her. “Is this your idea of revenge, trying to turn Larry against me?"

Emily wiped her hands on a dishtowel and hung it on a rack over the sink before she turned to ask, “Do you think I would stoop that low?"

His shoulders sagged. “No. Forgive me. You've been more than decent about this whole affair."

Her eyes met his. She saw anger there and guilt, and pain. Deep lines fanned out around his eyes and bracketed his mouth. Pointing to a chair, Emily asked, “Would you like to sit down?"

He sat on the edge of the chair and put his elbows on the kitchen table. “I didn't expect such an intense reaction from Larry."

"Larry's young. This is his first experience with heartbreak. He doesn't know how to cope."

"He asked me to come home.” Twin splotches of red burned across Robert's high cheekbones. “When I tried to explain why I couldn't do that, he ran from the room."

"Running away is his way of dealing. He'll come around.” Even as she spoke, Emily wondered why she was trying to spare the feelings of a man who had torn her world apart.

Robert wasn't convinced. “I don't think he will. Not anytime soon, at least. Larry feels I've deserted him."

"Haven't you?” Emily asked bitterly.

Robert dropped his hands to his sides. “May I have a cup of coffee?"

She wanted to remind him that this was no longer his home. Instead she said, “I just washed the pot."

"Could I have a glass of water then?"

If he didn't want her for a wife, she was damned if she would be his servant. “You know your way around. Help yourself."

Robert ran water into a glass, drank it all and then set the empty glass on the counter.

Emily moved around him and began to walk toward the dining room.

Robert called after her, “Are you running away too?"

Emily stopped in the dining room door. “No.” Without turning, she asked, “Did you get your things?"

Robert came to stand directly behind her. “Yes."

She could feel his nearness, sense the tenseness in his body. “May I have my house keys?” Turning, she extended her hand.

He took the keys from his pocket and laid them in her palm. “I'd better go."

Emily wrapped her fingers around the keys. “That sounds like a good idea. Good-bye, Robert.” She looked around the door toward the living room. Larry was nowhere in sight. Thank God for that. The last thing he needed now was to see the animosity that existed between his parents.

Robert seemed determined to make this a long good-bye. “Will you see me to the door?"

Was he deliberately trying to torment her? Intentional or not, he was doing a damn good job. “You know the way."

"I want a last word with you.” Robert put his hands back in his pockets and spread his feet apart. “I was hoping you could talk to Larry. He seems crushed."

"You're on your own with Larry and with Kevin.” Emily stepped back into the dining room and moved aside so he could pass. “Will you go, please?"

He took a tentative step toward her. “Have you told Kevin about ... us?"

She drew a deep breath. “He already knew."

Pain ripped across Robert's face. “Who told him?"

"He saw you with Susan in a restaurant over a month ago."

Under his tan, Robert turned an ash gray. “How did he react?"

"He's hurt and angry and feeling like a traitor. He couldn't bring himself to tell me.” Emily moved toward the front door. “I'll see you out. I have to take Boo for his walk.” She whistled and Boo came bounding toward her, wagging his tail furiously.

Robert reached down to stroke his head. “I remember the day I brought this rascal home. He wasn't much more than a little ball of black fluff."

What did this man want from her? He had betrayed her with another woman and walked out of her life. He had compounded that treachery by doing irreparable injury to her sons. And now he wanted to reminisce about, of all things, a dog? “Do you want custody of Boo?"

Robert stopped and stood very still. “You know better than that. I gave Boo to you. He was a birthday present."

"Everything else you gave me, you've taken back. Why not Boo, too?” She bit her tongue to stop her tirade. “I believe you were leaving."

Robert opened the front door. “Will you talk to Larry, try to explain to him?"

"I can't explain infidelity and adultery and desertion to someone as naive and trusting as Larry. Don't ask me to try."

He flinched. “You are not making this any easier."

Emily reached for Boo's leash. “I can't think of any reason why I should."

Stooping, she busied herself with the task of hooking Boo's leash to his collar. As she straightened, she said, “Move please."

Robert turned on his heel and walked away without looking back. Hurrying down the steps, he got into his car and gunned the motor, spinning gravel as he sped away. When he was well down the road, Emily tightened her hold on Boo's leash and led him down the walk.