Lust (34 page)

“I am inside of you. I am in your mind, your heart, and
your soul. And I will soon be inside this wet part of you that
unleashes the beast in me.”

I moaned at his words, his testament of promise to utterly
fulfill every void in my existence.

I heard the pulsing noise of the vibrator turn on, and my
lips turned up in a grin, my excitement from his willingness
to try the toys he had purchased was overwhelming. To feel his
satisfaction and be part of his first experience with all this was
surreal, special, and unforgettable.

He brought the vibrator onto my core and spread my
folds with his hand. I tightened my thighs as the vibrator
pulsated against my clit and the metal clamp. He moved
the vibrator in circles, making it wet from the release he
had just brought me to, wetting my cleft and thighs in the
process. He stroked his hand in a similar circular motion as
the vibrator. My body trembled with every second that he
played with me. The vibrations surged through me, forcing
me to clutch the sheets I lay on for strength. My body
arched upward as I released for the second time.

Alexander threw the vibrator to the side, and as I continued
to orgasm, he plunged into my throbbing sex, continuing the
orgasm and increasing the thrashing of my body.

“Fuck, Evangeline, you are so wet. I love you like this, and
I never want you dry when you are with me. Never. Take the
blindfold off. I want to see you. I need you to see the ecstasy I
feel as I fill you with all I have.”

I removed the blindfold, and my eyes stared into his. Never
needing to focus or find them, they were drawn to him like a
magnet. He was a force so strong and unexplainable that nothing
could tear us apart from this moment.

“You are beautiful, Alexander. You are amazing,” I let out
in spurted cries as he swayed his hips in and out of me.

He leaned closer, driving deeper, and his chest lay almost
completely against mine. I could not remove my stare from
his face. The vision and moments before me were miraculous.

Never did I imagine or think that this feeling of elation, that
these blind moments of perfection, were ever possible or could
ever be given to me by another. Someone was giving me a gift;
some angel was allowing me to have this moment.

“Alexander.” My emotions were overflowing, my heart
pounded, and my eyes swelled with tears. “I…” I couldn’t possibly
say what my heart was thinking; there would be no turning
back “I love…”

What am I doing?!

“I love the way you feel inside me,” I finally let out, speaking
the truth but avoiding the one thing I wanted to scream
out to him: I Love You!

Alexander was overjoyed any time I expressed my satisfaction
and fulfillment from being with him. “You are everything
to me. I could not go on with my life without this body beneath
me, without your sex to possess, without…you, Evangeline.”

He straightened his body and with both his massive hands
holding onto my breasts, he infiltrated me with power and conviction;
I was his!

He released anything he had left into me, he reached my
soul, and he warmed every inch of my skin. He was now the
blood that ran through my veins.

Alexander collapsed onto me. We went numb. There were
no sounds to be heard, no movements to be made—a blissful
existence lost in the utopia of uninhibited lust.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Opening the suitcases that Samantha had packed for me, I realized
that she chose the skimpiest and, well, trashiest outfits I
owned. Leave it to Samantha to make sure I didn’t have a shot
at being conservative on this trip.

I chose a white linen baby doll dress with spaghetti straps.

The temperature was scorching hot, and I knew that I would
probably only be wearing the dress for an hour or so through
dinner, so I attempted to give him some easy access. No point
in playing the bashful girl. With not much to put on, I dressed
quickly after showering and cleaned up the “mess” we had
made. We had servants but I wouldn’t allow anyone to see the
sex haven we had turned this tropical paradise into.

I felt light and at ease as I moved around putting things in
order and making our bedroom nice. The feelings weren’t for
myself or Alexander but with my life overall. I felt whole.

Alexander came out of the bathroom in a robe as I was putting
out some clothes for him to wear. “You look refreshed,”

I said as I continued what I was doing. “I put out some linen
shorts for you and a dress shirt. It’s really hot out. These seem
like they would be the coolest to wear.” I placed his dress sandals
on the floor in front of the bed where I had prepared his
clothes.

Alexander stood there in front of me with a blank stare; his
expression was unknown to me.

“Have I done something wrong? I didn’t mean to—you
don’t have to wear this. I just thought…”

Alexander rushed to me and embraced me like I had died
and just come back to him. Breathing into my neck, he whispered,
“You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

I felt so confused. He wasn’t upset, but I couldn’t understand
why he had gotten so emotional. “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted
to; I actually enjoyed it. I used to help my mom around the
house, and she always put out my dad’s clothes for him. It kind
of comes natural for me—embedded in my DNA.”

Alexander raised his head from my shoulder and held my
face with his hands, pecking my lips gently. “I don’t know how
I lived before you, Evangeline, and I don’t know how I could
live without you.”

That was the moment I realized we had blindly gone past the
point of no return. He couldn’t return, and I didn’t want to, but
I had no fucking idea how this would work. I felt shaky again—
uneasy with the thought of forever. It would be bliss to be with
Alexander, but my fears gnawed at my happiness like a piranha.

“Let’s go to dinner.” Alexander wrapped his arm around my
waist and walked me down the dock to a table set for two arranged
with glorious flourishing flowers and candles that lined
a path to the main resort.

“Oh, Alexander, let me run back. I didn’t realize we would
be on the beach. I wore my Manolos; they’ll ruin.” I turned to
walk back, when he grabbed my elbow, whirling me toward
him. With one effortless swoop, he had me in his arms.

“I have no idea who Manolo is, but I’m gathering by your
expression that your shoes are expensive—one of those girl
things that men just can’t understand. So allow me to carry
you, my dear.” And he did.

Food has always been enjoyable to me. Anything from Ben
& Jerry’s to a steak from Smith & Wollensky—expensive food,
cheap food—I loved it all. But nothing, absolutely nothing
compared to the food we ate that night. Alexander had ordered
a spread of fresh seafood. There were servings of caviar, Cajun
crab, fresh grilled lobster tails, mussels, oysters; you name it,
I ate it. And I couldn’t pin it down, but all of the foods we
ate somehow tasted like everything around us: the sea, obviously,
the flowers, and scented candles. My body was consumed
by luscious tastes, smells, and sights; I was on happiness overload.

And, I could tell by the endless smile on his face, so was
Alexander.

“Are you enjoying yourself, love?” he asked.

I went to answer, but the words were just now registering
in my head. Did he say “love”? He didn’t say that he loved me. He
just called me love, like sweetie or baby or something. Right?

Trying to ignore it, I said, “Yes, very much so. Alexander,
I don’t think we should move too fast; I don’t want either of us
to get disappointed if the other—”

But he knew I was dodging the “L” word and stopped my
ranting. “I’m not going to let you ruin this evening or this
trip because of the fact that the word Love scares the shit out
of you. I could care less. I do love you. I am in love with every
amazing and fucked up bit of you, and you can’t change that
or take it away, so stop trying. And I hate to tell you this,
but I am confident in the fact that you too love me. And what’s
scaring you the most is that you realize it too, and you can’t
do a damn thing to change it.”

I was floored. He knew what I thought, felt, and what I
forced myself not to feel.

“Stop trying to think it through, and enjoy what’s left.”

He smoothed his thumb over my cheek and started feeding
me again. “Come on, try this. There is still the left side of the
table for you to eat.” He loved to watch me eat, even though
he cracked up at exactly how much I could eat. We giggled
through another tasting of dishes.

“Mr. Mason, I am so sorry to interrupt your evening, but we
have a phone call at the desk. They say it is urgent.” Our butler,
Gehron, looked frazzled.

Alexander looked nervous. Something must have happened with
work, I thought. But other than Brant, who had his number
here?

Alexander pushed his chair back. “Excuse me a moment,
Evangeline. Let me just take this.”

But as he motioned to the butler to lead the way, Gehron
shook his head at Alexander and turned to face me. “No, sir.

The call is for the miss.”

The words weren’t registering in my head, but my body
reacted immediately as I shot up out of the chair and ran past
Alexander toward the direction that Gehron had come from.

I ran faster than I ever have. Images of my mother and father,
Pat, and Samantha ran through my head. I was out of breath.

My throat was closing from the fear within as I reached the
reception desk. Frazzled, I begged the young woman for the
phone call, only to be ushered to another desk.

Another young woman handed me the phone, but I couldn’t
put the receiver to my ear. I was terrified at what news was possibly
on the other end of the line. Still panting with a raspy
voice, I spoke in a whisper, “Hello?”

“Eva. It’s Samantha. I’ve been trying to reach you all day. I
told your mom I would…”

Samantha spoke fast, and un able to think straight as it was,
I wasn’t catching much of what she was saying.

“Sam, slow down. My mom…Are my parents OK? Did
something happen? Sam, tell me, damn it!” I was screaming
now as Alexander reached me at the desk, wearing an alarming
look on his face. He waited for me to fill him in; but I knew
nothing and was shaken.

“No, Eva. Your parents are fine,” she reassured me.

I jumped at her through the phone line for scaring me half
to death. “What the hell is wrong with you, Sam? You scared
me.”

Alexander sighed heavily with relief, but in a moment’s
time, the receiver fell from my hand, and my limp body hit
the floor.

I screamed louder than I had ever screamed in my life. I was
being stabbed, gutted, and mutilated from the inside out. The
phone line had cut out when I dropped it, so Alexander had no
explanation for this explosion except that I was in agony. My
screams and tears filled with anguish. He grabbed my shoulders
and held me to him, but I couldn’t have him near me. I didn’t
want anyone but her. I pounded on his chest, blaring sentences
at him that barely made sense.

“Evangeline, baby, you have to calm down and tell me what
happened.” Trying to figure this out, Alexander fought to get
reason into me so that I would speak.

“Don’t call me that name. It is marked by death. And don’t
call me baby. I am not your baby. This…This is your entire fault.

It’s your fault that I wasn’t there for her. You fucking rich asshole—
you think that you can just take me away from life. Life
doesn’t go away; life finds you no matter where you are. Get away
from me.” I continued to cry and scream with no end in sight.