Marco (The Men of Indecent Exposure #1) (30 page)

The piece of sandpaper in his hand went silent when the motions he made with it ceased. His eyes stayed trained on the piece of wood, though, as he took his time crafting a response.

“Putting myself in her shoes, I imagine it isn’t easy. I imagine a woman who’s with a man who does what you do would probably feel like she’s sharing him.”

That struck me right in the middle of my chest. One thing Brynn would never have to do is share me. Being real about it, I hadn’t been with anyone since she came into my life—even before we started gravitating toward one another. There was the brief situation with Elena, but even with that, I knew deep down that nothing serious would come of it. Somehow, Brynn came in and wiped the slate clean of any other women without demanding it. That was just the way it was.

She was the only one.

Again, I thought about what Elena had to say about me. And as much as I hated to admit it, she was probably right on some level. If Brynn
did
feel like she had to share me with the women I perform for, the chances of her fully being able to put her heart into this was slim to none. I was counting myself out whether I liked acknowledging it or not. No, she hadn’t said this herself and, no, she didn’t dump her opinion on me, but I still knew I was spot on.

To sum things up: I realized I couldn’t have it all.

“You all right over there?” my father asked, the look of concern on his face deepening.

All I could do was nod, but the truth of the matter was, I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t sure about
anything
right now.

*****

Brynn

Dinner was served and I ate
way
more than I intended to. The food was so good, though. Mrs. Rios and I prepared a huge pan of
pastelón
and now that the family had gotten their fill, there was nothing left in the dish but memories.

Full and satisfied, we all sat around the table and chatted. I never got over how they all shared and listened to what was going on in one another’s lives. They were so interested, so invested in each component of their unit. I watched them in awe as different ones spoke.

“Oh! Uncle Marco! I meant to call you Friday, but I hung out with my friends and forgot,” Rosalina said excitedly, hardly able to keep still in her seat. Marco’s eyes went to her and a curious smile spread across his face. “Dad and I have been doing some research online and so has my counselor, but we found quite a bit of scholarship information; even some we all thought I might qualify for. So, I printed everything out, filled out all the paper work, which has taken me like… two full months… and I even wrote a crap-ton of essays,” she explained.

“Language,” Mrs. Rios said casually.

“Oh, sorry, Abuelita,” Rosalina whispered before continuing on at full volume. “Anyway, I’ve been working on all this for a while, I just wasn’t sure it would pan out because, you know, things happen, and… you know… because my grades haven’t been great,” she rambled. “But it did! It worked out! I got two scholarships. One for minorities and another for women,
plus
a grant that’s gonna cover
all
my books the first semester.”

“Her entire first year of tuition, room, and board are completely taken care of,” her mother added with a proud grin, giving a more succinct rendition of Rosalina’s story.

The table exploded with excitement when the two finished explaining. Marco got up and gave his niece a huge hug, expressing how proud he was of her for taking such initiative.

“And while everyone is in the mood to celebrate,” Mrs. Rios cut in, “I believe Lorna has some good news to share as well.”

Lorna flashed a modest smile her mother’s way as the room quieted down to listen. “Well, my news isn’t as big as Rosie’s, but I suppose it’s nothing to bat an eye at.”

“Tell us already!” Marcela yelled, making the rest of the table chuckle quietly.

“Well,” Lorna went on, “You’re looking at the new logistics manager,” she screeched.

Lucia’s eyes got big as she rose up from her seat with her mouth agape. Her arms went around her sister and then Marcela stood and did the same.

“We didn’t even know you applied,” Mr. Rios cut in after offering his words of congratulations. Lorna explained how she didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up before she knew something solid and hearing her reasoning, I realized there was a pattern. Not anything bad, but a definite code by which the Rios family abided by. They all shared their good news, but not without confirmation. They didn’t talk just to talk, they were all about action and results. Therefore, they seemed to bring the family into the loop once there was actually something to celebrate. In my head, this all tied into the extreme sense of protection they felt toward one another. In a way, this was the same.

“So, because I’ll be getting a raise,” Lorna added, shifting her gaze toward Marco, “I’m
insisting
that you let me cover the last stint of Marcela’s schooling. You’ve done it on your own long enough and now I’m in a position to help, so that’s what I’m gonna do.” There was a sternness to the look she leveled at Marco, but at the core, there was only love and adoration.

It was no secret that they all looked up to and leaned on Marco, but only because he demanded that they do so. He intentionally positioned himself to be everyone’s backbone. However, based on the news shared this evening, it sounded as though his behavior had rubbed off on all of them, too. Over the years, I believed the strength he’d shown infected them all, becoming woven into their DNA. Or maybe it was there all along and the credit should be shared.

The very next second, my gaze shifted to Mr. Rios. I recalled the details Marco shared with me, about how he came back from alcoholism and had the courage to look his family in the eye afterward. He didn’t run off and hide from the mess he caused. He’d done everything in his power to make things right, according to Marco. So, maybe I was wrong. Maybe the word strength was synonymous with the Rios family as a whole and Marco was just a byproduct of that. Whatever the case, I was honored to have been accepted into the fold by such a remarkable family.

There was so much love being passed around the table, I couldn’t keep up. There was a lot of good news to celebrate, though, so it was warranted. In the middle of it all, Mrs. Rios got up from the table and disappeared in the kitchen for a few seconds. When she came back, there was a pink envelope in her hand. To my surprise, she presented it to
me
of all people. Not Lorna who’d just gotten a huge promotion. Not Rosalina who worked hard on those scholarship applications.

Me.

The table went quiet and I smiled a shy smile having all their eyes on me now.

“What’s this?” I asked, softly, flipping the envelope over in my hands where I found Marco’s name printed neatly beside mine. From the look on his face, I realized he was just as confused as I was.

“Open it,” Mrs. Rios encouraged with a smile, clearly trying to contain her excitement while waiting.

I tore through the seal and found a small card inside. My eyes skimmed it as Mrs. Rios explained.

“It’s an invitation for you two,” she said. “It’s to your baby shower.”

I didn’t know what to think, what to say, so I sat there staring at the card.

“Lorna, Lucia, Marcela and I have been talking and… we’d love if you’d do us the honor of letting us plan and host the shower for you. It’d truly be an honor.”

The tears, they were rolling like you wouldn’t believe. Through the blur, I looked up at their hopeful faces as they awaited my answer.

“Of course,” I said, nodding as more wetness touched my cheeks. Arms were all around me. So many I didn’t even know who they belonged to. The love they had was overwhelming and I felt it. I truly felt it.

“Marco mentioned that you don’t have much family here,” Mrs. Rios started, and I realized she was the only one still holding me. “But that’s not true anymore. You’ve got us.”

My heart thumped inside my chest and there was nothing I could do to slow the waterworks. These people barely knew me, but they accepted me all the same. A kiss went to my cheek when Mrs. Rios released me and it was then that I realized Marco had my hand. He squeezed it and I tightened my grip on his, too.

Those who were standing took their seats again as Mrs. Rios spoke. “We were thinking something intimate, something co-ed so
everyone
knows they’re welcome, but above everything else, it will be a celebration of love and family because those are the only two things that matter in this world,” she added with a huge smile.

…and I couldn’t have agreed with her more.

Marco

“Everything looks great, Brynn!”

Hearing those words always set both our minds at ease. Brynn took her feet out of the metal stirrups at the bottom of the table as Dr. Rubino removed the latex glove from her hand. I stood to help Brynn sit up. Now, a little more than 7 months in, she couldn’t deny needing the assistance.

A thin, paper sheet was all that covered her from the waist down, but she was no longer uncomfortable with me being in the room for the more private portion of her exams. The guard had come down and she finally believed what I’d been trying to tell her all along: she didn’t need to hide from me.

“Before you go, do either of you have any questions or concerns? Anything you’d like to discuss?” Dr. Rubino asked.

Brynn spoke up right away, rubbing her stomach profusely. “My skin itches like crazy. Is that normal? Is there anything I can do to make it stop?”

“Let’s take a look.”

Dr. Rubino checked for a rash, but there wasn’t one. “It’s most likely just dry skin. That’s common and I’m sure you’ve tried lotion, but that won’t cut it. Try something heavier, something with an oil base like petroleum jelly.”

Brynn nodded and continued to rub and scratch. She looked kinda miserable, actually. Miserable and tired.

“Is that it?” the doctor asked.

“Yep,” Brynn replied, trying to sound upbeat, but I knew better. She’d been in a mood for a few days, mostly because she wasn’t sleeping well anymore.

We left the office and I opened the passenger side door to help her in. On my way around to my side, I thought about how the appointment had gone and smiled. Yes, Brynn was starting to get uncomfortable, but all in all, things were going well. The baby’s heartbeat was strong, Brynn’s blood pressure was normal for a change, and the only complaint she had was an itchy stomach. I’d say that was a win.

I climbed in beside her and started the engine. To my surprise, I looked over to find her crying.

I couldn’t tell if it was one of those… hormonal things, or if something was really wrong. She looked so pitiful, though.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, pulling her to me. She leaned her head on my shoulder and I babied her like I loved to do.

“It’s just…
everything,”
she said amidst a hard sob as she sniffed back tears.

“Everything like what?” I replied, being sympathetic despite not having the slightest clue what was wrong.

“I can’t sleep. I can’t stop itching, I’m scared—”

I cut her off there. “Scared of what?”

She lifted her head and looked at me like she couldn’t believe I didn’t understand. When she gestured toward her stomach, she went on to say, “This! The closer I get to my due date, the more I think about the fact that this little girl has to come out one of two ways. And I’m gonna keep it real… I’m not too happy about
either
of those options.”

It took everything in me not to laugh, but I held it in because I knew she was dead serious. There wasn’t even a hint of jesting in her tone or expression.

“I mean… does everything even go back the way it was
down
there
afterward?”

My cheeks hurt from holding back a smile. “Brynn… women have been doing this for millennia. I’m not making light of it, nor am I saying it’ll be easy, but what I
am
saying is that you’ll get through it.”

Her eyes found mine and she didn’t look all that convinced, so I added, “And you have me. I’ll be in there with you every step of the way. You can break my hand, cuss me out, scream at me… whatever you need to do to get through it.”

She smiled at that and I reached to wipe the tears from her cheek with my hand.

“You’re strong, Brynn. That’s one of the things I love about you.”

The words came from my mouth so fast that they didn’t even register for me at first. If it hadn’t been for Brynn’s wide eyes, they might’ve gone right over my head completely, but she hadn’t missed a thing. That phrase, even though there were a few extra words in the mix, was heavy. I hadn’t meant to let it slip, but it did. It did because that’s what I’d been holding in.

I loved her.

However, I wasn’t ready to talk about it, so I pretended like I
hadn’t
just changed everything as I switched subjects by asking a simple question: “You good?”

I think my confession shocked her tears into submission because they stopped falling. She turned to stare straight ahead out the windshield as I shifted the truck into reverse. Her response to my question was nothing more than a timid, “Mmm hmm,” followed by silence.

Damn… I think I scared her.

I think I scared
myself.

I took off after that and we didn’t say much to one another as we drove. I picked up lunch for her on the way and then our next stop was her house. I walked her in, got her settled, and then headed in to the shop to finish out my day.

I had about five clients to fill up the afternoon and the whole time all I could think about was what I said to Brynn.
How could I let that slip out?
This whole time we’d been careful to take things slow, to keep things simple, and here I was dropping the biggest bomb of them all.

Love.

Who knew
what
the hell she was thinking right now?

On one hand, I wanted to call her to explain myself, but doing so would only confirm what I already confessed—that my feelings for her went beyond just liking and caring about her. However, because we were in this undefined, limbo-type situation, I tried not to push. I knew how she felt about my job. Or at least I
thought
I did, seeing as how we didn’t talk about it after that first day. But, because of that issue, I had admittedly decided to let her determine where she wanted this to go.

…but then I told her I love her.

Kind of.

By the time I finished work for the day, it was almost seven o’clock. The guys were expecting me to meet up with them in a couple hours, which meant I needed to head home to shower first. When I was finally done straightening my station and locking up, it was a little after eight.

I rushed home and got myself ready and was back on the road headed for
The Alibi,
me and the guys’ go-to place to chill in peace. And on a Wednesday night, there shouldn’t be too many people around to hinder that.

Pulling into the lot, I noticed they’d all beaten me there. If I knew them as well as I
thought
I did, they’d already taken the initiative to order a platter of wings and secured a pool table for us. I parked and walked in to find they’d done just that, not deviating from our usual routine at all.

We did this at least once a month just to clear our heads. That had been the plan the night I met Brynn, but apparently I needed a little more head clearing than I realized at the time, which resulted in me overdoing the drinks, and I suppose the rest is history.

Carlos greeted me with a nod, Justin with a half-handshake/half-embrace, and Logan with a mumbled, “Sup.”

I shoved my keys in the pocket of my jeans and took a sip of the beer they ordered for me before going to pick out a pool stick.

“I’ll rack ‘em,” Justin offered, standing from his stool to gather the balls from the table pockets. Apparently, he and Logan had already gotten in a game before I arrived, and judging by the look on Logan’s face, he hadn’t won.

“Me and Marco against y’all,” Justin said, pointing at Carlos and Logan as partners.

I stood beside the table, chalking the tip of my stick, still wondering if Brynn picked up on what I said earlier.

“You planning to burn a hole through that thing?” Carlos asked, pointing to the cube in my hand. I set it down on the edge after he called my attention to it and tried to come out of my thoughts before someone asked what was up with me, but leave it to Justin…

“What the hell did you do now?” he asked. Right on time.

I let out a breath and stepped up to take the first shot when the rack was removed. Leaning forward, I aligned the tip of my stick with the cue ball and let the polished wood slide between my fingers. The sharp crack of the balls at the other end of the table followed and I watched several of them disappear inside the pockets.

“Well, damn! That’s the end of the game right
there
,” Carlos complained. I barely heard him, though.

“Are you gonna answer or just stand there looking pitiful?” Justin pressed.

I shook my head and backed away while Carlos aligned his first shot.

“I think I messed up,” I said on the end of a sigh. “Today, after Brynn’s appointment… I think I told her I love her.”

All three sets of eyes came my way and all three were confused.

“You
think
?” Carlos asked.

I nodded, staring aimlessly at the green felt of the pool table. “She was crying and I was trying to make her feel better and… yeah… it just kind of slipped out.”

“I’m still trying to understand why you’re not sure if that’s what you said,” Justin chimed in as he watched the balls scatter across the table when Carlos took his turn.

I sipped from the brown-tinted bottle beside me before explaining. “I said she was strong and that’s what I love about her. Those were my exact words. So, yeah… I
think
I told her I love her, but I’m not sure.”

“Hmm…” was all Logan had to add as he sat there, thinking.

“I see your dilemma.”

I nodded at Justin’s response. “Exactly.”

“Yeah, that could go either way, man,” Carlos added.

I shook my head. “That’s what I’m saying.”

There was silence for a moment and then, of all people, Logan spoke up. “Question is: did you mean it?”

We all stared at him. Long and hard. He didn’t say much, but when he did it always caught us off guard. A pretty severe stutter kept him quiet most of the time, so we never messed with him about it, but still… I just didn’t expect him to be the one to ask the million dollar question.

“I uh… yeah,” I confessed, propping my hands on the end of my stick. “I do.”

“Damn. That’s heavy,” Carlos said.

I thought about that and had to agree. This was definitely heavy.

“So, I’m guessing you and Elena never recovered from the thing at the club,” came Carlos’s next question. I filled them all in on how she went off on me after I took Brynn up on stage instead of her, but her name hadn’t come up since.

“We never recovered from it because I didn’t
try
to,” I shrugged. “The idea of her was nice in the beginning, but that was mostly because I used to sweat her so hard when we were kids. I
thought
that was what I wanted when I ran back into her, but…” I paused and shook my head. “Being honest with myself, that wasn’t ever going anywhere. I just didn’t realize it right away.”

Justin nodded, understanding where I was coming from. Our game was beginning to lag as the conversation picked up. “So what’d she say back?” he asked next. “Brynn, I mean.”

I recalled her wide-eyed expression and shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Damn,” Carlos said for the third or fourth time, apparently thinking that was helpful in some way.

“Well… have you called her? Tried to talk about it?” Justin’s brow lifted with curiosity, but I shook my head again.

“Nah, not yet. Probably too soon.”

My answer made him laugh. “Too soon? Or you’re too
scared
?” he shot back.

“Real talk? Both. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

They all laughed.

Relationships, real ones, weren’t my thing. Yeah, I toyed around with the idea of settling down one day, but that was a long ways off. At least that’s what I
used
to think. Now… I wasn’t so sure.

Carlos let out a breath and I glanced up at him. “Let me make this easy for you,” he started. “Man up, call your girl, and say this.” I was already laughing before he continued on. He squinted his eyes and licked his lips when his head tilted. “Just say:
‘Listen, girl, let’s cut out all the bull… I love you. You love me. So what’s good?’”