Modern Goddess: Trapped by Thor (Book One) (7 page)

Now it was different, and it was different
because of a functioning customs and immigration system. No longer
would we blithely allow destructive gods entry to the planet so
they could attempt world-ending wars. No longer were gods allowed
to demand whole fields of innocent goats to be put to slaughter. No
longer did the people of Earth have to put up with world-covering
frosts, storms, or earthquakes every time a couple of brutish gods
got into a fistfight.

There was relative peace because the gods
were kept in check – okay, there wasn't that much peace, but at
least none of the human wars involved never-ending winters,
world-sized cyclopes, and more blood than could fill the Pacific
Ocean.

I didn't expect any of these gods to
appreciate that. To them, Earth was still their playground. But
none of them played nice, so Earth was off limits to that kind of
fun.

I clenched my fists. I could feel a little
of my power returning. True, I couldn't produce lightning and I had
no chance against Thor, but that didn't mean I was going to give
into him easily.

“
You are a brute, Thor,” I said
strongly. I wanted him and his assortment of divine groupies to
know he hadn't won. I also wanted Tolus to know I appreciated the
save. “As for all your whineging about visa applications and
rejections, need I remind you that while you swan about starting
bar fights and finding bimbo goddesses to giggle in your ears, it's
the Integration Office that keeps Earth peaceful. Or would you
prefer to have Loki, Seth, or a gaggle of cyclopes stampede into
your party and step on your beard? You speak grandly, Thor, but
remember it's the immigration officers – and no longer you – who
keep the evil spirits at bay.” With that, I decided it was best to
retreat.

Yes, I’d stood up for myself, but I could
also see the sparks collecting in Thor's eyes.

“
Loki,” he
roared.

Oops, I had touched a nerve. I shouldn't
have mentioned the one-time cherished friend who’d gone on to
betray him and try to kill his whole family.

“
Okay, Tolus,” I said with a
squeak, “I suggest you run.”

Tolus was a lot smarter than I'd given him
credit for, and didn't resist when I pulled him towards the
door.

I hoped we had time before Thor blew up and
sent his hammer soaring through the establishment to strike me
dead.

Oh dear, why had I mentioned Loki?

I pulled Tolus towards the door. This was
going to come back to hit me in the back of the head....

Somehow we made it to the door before Thor
got it together enough to send Mjollnir our way singing its happy
and murderous tune.

I grabbed the handle and yanked it open
with all my might – and luckily for me the handle was made out of
strong stuff, because I didn't yank it off or crush it into dust.
While I was a small-time goddess, and I couldn't count on god-like
strength, I still wasn't human.

Regardless of his awesome god powers, Thor
couldn’t strike us down with thunder or hammer us to death out in
the street. He couldn’t display any super-human powers out in the
real world.

The cool night air hit us, buffeting so
welcomingly against my hair and face I almost considered finding
out who the god of night-time breezes was and sending him a bunch
of flowers.

I closed the door shakily once Tolus had
made it through. I sucked in a lungful of air – something
technically unnecessary considering I wasn't mortal, but I did it
nonetheless. Breathing and eating were things gods and goddesses
had to do to fit in with the human population, and were proscribed
while divinities were staying on Earth. Not breathing and not
eating were sure signs the walking talking apparent human before
you was more apparent and less real.

“
Oh my,” Tolus glanced back
at the door behind us, “He became angry at the end
there.”

“
Ha.”

“
Should we....” Tolus kept his
eye on the door.

“
Get out of here before Thor
comes out and beats us to death in a legitimately non-god like, but
still painful way? Yep. Sure.” Still keeping a grip on Tolus’
bone-thin arm, I pulled him along the street.

This would go down as the dumbest thing
I’d ever done. Well, maybe not. In my days as a younger goddess,
I’d done some extraordinarily foolish things. When my powers had
been new to me, I would often wander in a complete daze through the
forests and cities for days on end. I had accidentally walked right
into cyclopes more times than I could count. Back then, I’d grown a
rightful reputation as an airhead. Over the years that had changed.
As humanity had begun to take a finer eye to the details of the
world, I’d become more powerful and better respected. I had also
become far more logical and far more rational.

In the world of gods, however, I was still
only somewhere near the middle. I didn't have raw power like the
forces-of-nature gods, and nor did I have mythical weapons like
Thor. My true power could only be utilized when I was used in
conjunction with other things. Knowing and appreciating the details
of something was one thing, but it was how you went on to use those
details that mattered. You get me in a room with the god of logic
and a couple of gods of maths and physics – and we would make an
unbeatable and nerdy team.

I wasn't about to wait around outside of a
god-bar while Thor was seconds from busting down the door and
cracking my skull on the off chance some maths-loving gods would
chance upon me. Nope, now was time for running.

Ducking into the alleyway beside the
Ambrosia, I kept a firm but not bone-breaking grip on Tolus. I
figured our only chance was to get far enough away from the
Ambrosia that Thor would become too bored to track us down. It was
a small chance, but it was all we had.

“
Do you think I should give it a
couple of minutes before I return?” Tolus asked, his voice
punctuated by his ragged breath as I dragged him behind me. “Only
that is where I’m staying tonight.”

Damn, I'd forgotten about that bit. “Ah,
no – a couple of minutes isn't going to work.” A couple of hours
wasn't going to work, either – Thor could, and often did, hold a
grudge for eons. “Um you should stay in my spare room
tonight.”

“
Oh, if you think that is for the
best.”

“
Ha. Let's put it this way:
you will be less likely to wake up from a hammer blow between the
eyes if you bunk in my spare room.” I kept pulling Tolus along, not
confident he could sustain a suitably Thor-avoiding pace on his
own.

“
I see.”

“
Thor holds a grudge,” I pointed
out needlessly, “And a magical hammer.”

“
He does have a temper. But I do
not find him to be overly disagreeable.”

I almost stopped and turned around. He
didn't find the brute of a Nordic god disagreeable? The same god
who’d virtually stared us to death with his disemboweling
gaze?

I held my tongue and kept pulling him
along. “Damn,” I suddenly spat as I took the time to note my
surroundings. I was taking us in the wrong direction. In order to
get back to my house we would have to go back the way we'd come.
That would take us face-first into a singing hammer. “We need to
double back. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I've taken us the wrong
way.”

We ground to a halt, and I admonished
myself with a few quick curses. Damn Thor for putting me in such a
tizz that I'd forgotten where I was going.

“
Oh...” Tolus appeared to
appreciate what this meant. “Why don't we take one of the flood
drains?”

“
Sorry?”

“
The flood drains – the ones we
were down in barely an hour ago. I believe we passed an access only
several blocks back – we could climb down said access and find our
way to your house that way.”

I looked at Tolus then shrugged my
shoulders. That sounded like a reasonable plan. Why go around or
through when you can go underneath?

We made our way back to the drain access
Tolus had seen. As we climbed down the ladder, I felt that exact
same feeling: the one that told me I was entering something.
Something I wouldn't be able to turn away from again.

As we descended,
I tried to
notice-away my uncomfortable feelings. Being the goddess of
details, by noticing details, I could often disarm or change a
situation. If I didn't like some emotion or action, I could
concentrate on all those facts and figures that went into making it
appear real, and that took the edge off the whole thing.

“
These tunnels are
remarkable,” Tolus’ voice echoed as it bounced off the round walls
of the tunnel. He sounded like he was coming from all around me.
“For a human invention, they have a god-like feel.”

“
Oh, they get it right
sometimes,” I tried to blow the comment off. I didn't like the way
that conclusion sat with me. “They still remember some of the
things we taught them back during the eons of god-rule. The
architect of these tunnels probably found a book on sacred
architecture,” I mumbled, realizing how silly it sounded to suppose
a human would use divine geometry to build a system of
flood-tunnels of all things. When it came to cathedrals, temples,
and other spiritual buildings I could see the use of divinely
inspired proportions, but drains were another thing. “They probably
accidentally hit upon the right shapes and patterns, or perhaps the
god of sacred buildings has branched out to work at the city
planning office.”

“
Hmm.”

“
I should be able to get us home
from here,” I said, mostly to be reassured by the sound of my own
voice. For a goddess, there wasn't much in the human world that
could scare me. I was technically immortal, with emphasis on the
technically. While I'd be okay if I came across an angry homeless
guy with a homemade potato gun or a confused and lost alligator,
there were other creatures who could set my teeth chattering.
Monsters, frost giants, denizens of hell – there were plenty of
beings who could pose a threat to a goddess. There was a bloody
menagerie of them. For every god and goddess, there was whole
armies of giants and god-hating meanies.

While the Integration Office did its job
and mostly did it well, it was never outside the realm of
possibility that an evil creature could slip through the net. Frost
giants were not unheard of in Scandinavia, and I'd recently read a
report about a cyclopes still sleeping in one of the underwater
caves off the coast of Greece.

I began to walk faster. I hadn't
read any reports of creatures coming to this city – and certainly
not taking up shop in th
e flood drains – but that didn't mean much. Maybe
one of the deep-sea oil rigs off the coast had dredged up something
old, angry, and immortal, and the darn creature had been washed
into the drains during the wet season. And maybe said denizen of
the deep was watching Tolus and me as we awkwardly loped our way
through the tunnels.

“
I wonder,” Tolus said,
voice too loud for my comfort, “Whether we should abandon this plan
and climb up the next drain access we see?”

“
Hmm,” I squeaked. Tolus was
feeling what I was. As a god used to surviving despite the odds, I
would be wise to follow his lead. “Yep. Let's get out of
here.”

I realized it was odd that, upon our
earlier visit, neither Tolus nor I had felt these exact exquisite
feelings of unease. I also realized that the longer we stayed down
here, and the farther forward we traveled, the more the feelings
grew. That told me one of two things: either we were moving towards
something of considerable immortal threat, or said threat was
making its own way to us.

We ran, and this time I didn't have to latch
a hand onto Tolus’ arm – the god was as spritely and energetic as a
racehorse. We found an access and scrambled up it.

I let Tolus go up the ladder first. Contrary
to what Thor believed, I was not a treacherous, god-hater. When it
came to the safety and welfare of other divinities, I could be as
generous and caring as the charity goddesses.

Both Tolus and I scrambled up the ladder as
fast as we could, and I made a mental note to call the Integration
Office as soon as we were clear to let them know of a possible
breach in customs. They would send a divine clean-up squad straight
away to flush out whatever evil had made its home down in the dank
tunnels.

Tolus shifted the top off the drain entrance
– displaying the strength his immortal form had by default, despite
his paper-thin body.

He jumped lithely onto the street and made a
gurgling noise. I dismissed it as a choked-throat “Yippee“ for
getting to safety.

I shouldn't have.

I crested the entrance, my head popping out
onto the street above. I stared straight at a massive pair of legs
tucked neatly into light blue jeans. I slowly looked up the legs
until I noted the T-shirt, the golden beard, and the righteous,
crackling gaze.

“
Oh you are kidding me.” I had
run from the Ambrosia, then gone into the flood drains only to come
back up right outside the Ambrosia.

I hung there, still half on the ladder.

Before Thor could reach down and crush me,
something happened. I winced, expecting the attack from above, but
it came from below. Something rushed up from underneath me –
something fast, something that went swoosh in an evil way. That
same something wrapped itself tightly around my middle.