More, Please (13 page)

But who will protect her from me?

Reason escapes me as her tongue entangles
with mine, the movements both hesitant and suggestive. I feel my body harden in
response, pressing against her, pinning her against the wide trunk of an oak. Her
warm hands move to my shoulders, sliding upward to my neck until her fingers
are tunneling into my hair. It’s only now that I realize my skin has been
starved for her touch, and now that I have it, I want more.

The pads of her fingertips kneading into
my scalp send shockwaves through me. And every cell of my body responds,
silently demanding her caress.

Our breathing is jagged, and our mouths
are searching, exploring each other as though this moment was inevitable. With
her breasts pressed against me, I can feel her heart pounding behind her
ribcage and its rapid-fire beat is as desperate as my own.

I want to lose myself in her right now. In
all her hopes and plans and dreams. If I could just fuse my body with hers, I’d
be able to silence the voices that haunt me, even for a little while.

Which is every reason I shouldn’t be with
her right now.

My breath catches suddenly and I pull
back from her. I stare at her for a moment, panicked at the depth of feelings
that are stirring me. “Shit, Allie. I’m sorry.”

She’s breathless, frustration in her eyes.
“Why? Why on earth would you be sorry?”

“I told you I wasn’t what you needed, and
then I go and do this.”

“Actually that’s not what you said.”

“What?”

“Last week. That’s not what you said. If
you had said that you weren’t what I needed, then I’d have told you that you
don’t know
what
I need.”

 I stare at her a moment, noticing
the green flecks in her eyes. From far away, they seem brown, but standing this
close to her, with her body still leaning against the overgrown foliage of an
oak, they definitely look green. I force myself to step away from her, and it’s
likely the hardest thing I’ve done since I left the Navy.

“What do you need?” I dare to ask.

“I need you to start treating me like an
adult. Dammit, Logan. My whole life I’ve been told I’m too mature for my years.
Devin even dumped me for it.”

“Devin?”

“My last boyfriend. He thought I was no
fun. Too serious. ‘Stop acting like you’re forty,’ he’d say, even though it was
only weeks after I buried my dad. And now here you are, treating me like I just
celebrated my sweet sixteen. It’s insulting.”

I nod. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” My
shoulders sag as the sunset dips below the horizon. “You never told me that. About
your ex.”

Her cheeks bunch up in a grimace. “Yeah,
well, we all have our stories to tell, I guess. So, what is it you need,
Logan?”

“Huh?”

“I told you mine. You tell me yours.”

What do I need? My breath stills at her
words and I struggle to find a response. I can still taste her on my lips and
there’s a tightness in my groin right now that is telling me exactly what I
need right now.

I need that woman who invited herself up
to my hotel room—someone I don’t have any depth of feelings toward. Someone
I can lose myself inside, who can pull me from the chaos in my head, even if
it’s just for one night.

But I do have feelings for her now. And I
know that when she sees a beautiful sunset, I’m picturing the darkness that
will soon follow.

She sure doesn’t belong in the hell I
live in.

Her green eyes are still on me as I step
back another foot from her. “Your friendship,” I say lamely. “I need your friendship.”

Her eyes have something in them that I
hadn’t expected. Understanding.

She reaches her hand out toward me. “Then
that’s what you’ll have,” she says with a smile. I take her hand in mine and
feel that same familiar charge between us. It’s not unexpected anymore. I
always know it will be there when I touch her. And that scares the hell out of
me.

~ ALLIE ~

I lie awake in my bed, only hearing the
heavy breathing of dogs in the room. One sleeps at my side in the bed, while
the other two sleep right next to me on the floor, so close I have to remind
myself not to step on them if I get up in the middle of the night in the
darkness. I’m not even sure which one is in bed with me until I reach out and
feel the short hair of a corgi beneath my fingertips. I should have figured
she’d be the one up here. Even though she is the smallest, she is by far the
bossiest of the bunch.

Corgis aren’t little dogs. They are big
dogs with short legs.

At the feel of her wet nose nuzzling my
cheek, I rise.

The house is quiet, but it usually is. Even
though Logan said he’d be doing some noisy work at night, the only thing I’ve
seen him do at night is paint. I know he’s holding back because he doesn’t want
to wake me.

I wonder how many other ways he’s holding
back when it comes to me.

He’s out of town tonight, and the stretch
of townhomes feels a little too empty with him gone. Kosmo is getting his heart
surgery and Logan felt more comfortable staying close to the vet hospital in a
hotel rather than having to drive three hours to constantly check on him.

But I wonder, just a little, if he needed
to get away from me.

After that kiss, things pretty much went
back to usual between us. He even let me help tile the bathroom, and I have to
say, working that wet saw was a bit of a thrill.

I couldn’t let there be anything awkward,
not after the pain I saw in his eyes. I don’t know what secrets he has, but I
know they are too painful to deal with for him. And if he only wants a
friendship from me, then by God, I’ll honor that.

There’s no hiding that I want more from
him, though. Desperately. Enough that I nearly had to dust off my vibrator that
I have stashed in my drawer. But the hum of modern technology in my vag would
only depress me at this point. It’s Logan I want, not a battery-operated
substitute.

What slays me is that it’s not even his
looks that I find most attractive anymore. How could I be stuck on superficial
when the guy is letting me stay here for free with my three rescued dogs? He actually
listens and doesn’t think I’m crazy for my wild aspirations. He is an absolute
dream uncle to his little niece. Toss in that undeniable SEAL presence he’s got,
and it’s enough to make any girl go crazy for him, even if it wasn’t all
wrapped up in such a handsome package of muscle-sculpted flesh.

He’s staying in Akron tonight—a
place with a hell of a lot more single women than Newton’s Creek. And as much
as I shouldn’t even be imagining this, I can’t help thinking he’s probably not
sleeping alone tonight. He might have headed out for a drink, same as he did at
Bergin’s that night, and had a ready-female follow him back to his hotel room.

I know. I was once that girl.

I wonder now, sometimes, what would have
happened if I had stayed that night.

We would have had mind-blowing sex. Then
we’d have run into each other the next day at the adoption event. Maybe if I
hadn’t run off on him, he wouldn’t see me as the naïve young woman he seems to
see me as now.

We could have stood a chance.

Or, on the down side, he might have seen
me as the skanky girl who followed him to his room too easily and not have wanted
to extend things.
Easy
is pretty easy to find when a guy looks like
Logan.

In that case, I probably wouldn’t have had
the offer to stay here rent-free, and the three dogs lounging in my room would
have made their journey across the Rainbow Bridge compliments of the County.

Being a good girl, in this case, may not
have been the best move for my libido, but it was definitely the best move for
my dogs.

The upside of being Logan’s friend is that
I am still in his life. Truth is, I really enjoy spending time with him. He’s
spontaneous in a way that I’m not. When he pulled off a heap of cotton candy
and affixed it to his face like a beard just to get a laugh out of Hannah at Buckeye
Land a few days ago, my sides nearly split laughing.

Most guys who look like him
like
looking like a Greek god, and would never muck up their face with pink cotton
candy. They’re too busy admiring themselves in the mirror.

I reach for my phone, considering leaving
him a text asking about Kosmo. I’m sure he turns off the sound when he goes to
sleep. Maybe a text from me in the morning might remind him I’m alive even if
he wakes up with someone else in his bed.

I open my messaging app and see a text from
Logan sent at 11:30 after I had gone to sleep.
Damn
. I should have left
my phone on. I turn on the sound again.

“Just got off the phone with the vet,”
it says.
“Kosmo took a bit of a turn.
Had a reaction to the anesthesia. I might be here a little while longer.”

Crap
. I bite my lip as I start typing.

“Logan, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”
I hit send.

Only seconds later, a call comes in and I
recognize the number. “Logan?”

“Hey. What are you doing up this late?”

“It was too quiet around here.”

“You miss me.” He’s saying it
sarcastically, but it couldn’t be closer to the truth.

“Maybe I do. It’s pretty lonely out here
in the woods without you. Did you hear anything new from the vet since you
wrote?”

“Not a word. I’ll head in there first
thing in the morning. I’ll text you as soon as I know anything.”

“Or call. You can always call.” I have to
admit, I feel better just hearing his voice. “So, why aren’t you sleeping,
Logan?”

“Hate the quiet. I got a room right by
the elevator and the vending machines hoping I’d get some noise, but I
seriously don’t think there’s another soul on my floor. Lonely as hell in this
bed without someone drooling on the pillow next to me.”

“Aw, is that an invitation?” I kid.

“Kosmo. I was talking about Kosmo
drooling.” He laughs. “It really makes me wonder how the hell I managed in
Annapolis without a dog.”

“Was it noisier there?”

“Yeah, a little. I was right on the
Academy campus, but with the windows open I could still hear some city noises.”

“And I can’t imagine you slept alone
much,” I say teasingly.

“Yeah, Vanessa was over a lot while we
were together.”

Vanessa
. It’s the first time I’ve heard him mention a name.

“Did that help?” I ask. “Having someone
around?”

“It did, actually. Even though…” He stops
short, which he doesn’t do often.

“Even though what?”

“Nah. Nothing.”

“What, Logan? I’m always dumping all my
problems on you, why can’t you dump a little on me?”

There’s a long pause.

“I slept a lot worse back in Annapolis. It
was kind of hard on Vanessa. She ended up leaving because of it. It was so soon
after I got back from… well, it was pretty hard being around me at night. I
have PTSD. Do you know what that is?”

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I may not
have any family in the military, but I know something about it just from
reading news articles. “Yeah, I know. Logan, I had no idea.”

“I’m a lot better now. Most the time I
can make it through the night. Just sometimes it gets too quiet and I go a
little nuts.”

It suddenly makes sense to me, why he’d
like to work at night, why I’d find him sleeping on a hammock by a babbling
brook in the middle of the night.

And why he’d think I was too young and
naïve for a guy like him.

Why do I get the feeling Vanessa was
about my age?

“Well, call me if you get that way. I
snore. You can put me on speaker phone and have all the noise you would ever
want.” I seriously can’t believe I just told him that.

“I know,” he answers.

My eyes widen. “You know I snore?”

“I can hear you sometimes through the
wall. You’re pretty loud.”

I touch the wall, wondering if I’ll ever
be able to sleep again knowing he’s on the other side of it. “I’m mortified.”

“Don’t be. I’ve slept a lot better since
you moved in. I might have to ask you to stay after the renovation is complete
just so I can keep sleeping so well. I was hoping Kosmo would be a loud dog. We
had a beagle once who sounded severely asthmatic. Do you think I can put in a
request now for a second dog, maybe one who sounds like Darth Vader?”

“I’ll keep my eyes open for one.”

I hear him sigh on the other end. “You
should get back to bed,” he says.

“I was up already, remember?”

“What’s keeping
you
up?”

Thoughts of you, I want to say. I miss
his presence here, and I know that even if friendship is all I ever get from
him, that would be enough.

But I might be upgrading my vibrator to a
newer model.

“I was thinking about you,” I slip,
quickly catching myself by adding, “and Kosmo. I’m so sorry he’s not doing
well.”

“He’ll be all right. I’ll probably be
here another night though.”

“Do you need anything?’

Like me, naked with a big bow on my head,
maybe?

“No, thanks.”

I frown, grateful he can’t read my mind.

***

Even after we hang up the phone at 2
a.m., I still can’t sleep. The idea of him unable to sleep in a quiet hotel
room by himself has lodged a knot in my throat.

It’s all I can do to make it through my
work day, and it is a busy one for a change. Nancy is in Los Angeles having a
field day at a vegan conference and she’s got me editing her speech last minute.

I’m tapping away at my keyboard, but my
mind is a hundred miles away. Well, 195 miles away to be exact, since I looked
up the hotel information Logan left me on a mapping app on my iPhone.

My phone vibrates on my desk. A
predictable warmth spreads over my skin as I see it’s from Logan, and I feel
relieved to read that Kosmo will be able to come home tomorrow morning.

But even as I enjoy the relief of knowing
one of my rescues will be all right, I feel an urge that I can’t quite put my
finger on… at least not until Cass shows up at my door to pick up the samples
from our newest line for a party tonight.

“Hey,” I call from my doorway as she
pulls up. The sight of my car parked next to hers has me realizing just how
desperately I want to drive to Logan right now.

He needs noise to help him sleep?

I
can be noise.

“Hey. Got my vibrators ready?” Cass shouts
back.

I roll my eyes, glancing down the
walkway. Even though I know I’m the only one living here right now, sometimes
Logan has an electrician or plumber coming and going as they bring #4 up to
speed. But no one is in sight.

“Yep,” I reply. “Three new ones to show
off. And a whole new summer line of scented lubricants. They’re only available till
August 31. It’s part of their
Weekend at the Beach
line.”

“Yippee,” she says with marked sarcasm. I
can tell Cass hates doing these parties, but she makes a killing at them, so
obviously she’s good at faking it.

I lead her into the house and open my
closet.

“Ahh, the closet of treasures.” There’s a
smirk on her face. “So, do you have any parties scheduled tonight?”

“Nope. I’ve hit a dry spell.”

Concerned, she looks at me. “Do you need
the money? I can pass tonight’s off on you, if you’d like. Should be an okay
crowd. The woman attended a party I gave a month ago and wanted to host one
herself to get a Model 62-Magnum for free.”

I nod, glad to hear the company’s monthly
special is creating some buzz. “No, I’ll be all right.”

“Just going to hang around?”

“Yeah. Guess so.” My voice trails
slightly.

“What’s that look?”

“What look?”

“That ‘I’ve got someplace I’d rather be’
look. Are you thinking of knocking on your hot neighbor’s door, and asking if
you can borrow a cup of sugar?”

I snort. “No. He’s not even home. He’s in
Akron while Kosmo gets his surgery done there.”

“He staying the night?”

“Two nights, actually. Kosmo had a
reaction to the anesthesia and had to stay longer than expected.”

“Aww, that’s sweet. All by his lonesome.”

I can tell from the pout on Cass’s lips
that she’s thinking the same thing I am.

Her grin is wide. “Need a dog sitter tonight,
dear friend? I can swing by my place and pick up Skylar and camp out here for
the night.” She shakes her head. “I’ll be jealous of you for at least a week,
but I’ll get over it.”