Morning Star (30 page)

“I know it was rumored about that he'd tried to do himself in.” Jenny replied in a low voice. “But he's better now, isn't he?”

“Yes.” Sarah's bitter voice cracked. In a moment she added, “Yes, Orson's better—and he's become an ardent follower of the Prophet. Seems he can't marry fast enough nowadays.” She lifted her face, and finally Jenny understood the black despair in her eyes.

Jenny took a copy of Sarah's quilt pattern and climbed back in her buggy with John Mark. All the way home, while John Mark crowed his delight and waved his hands, Jenny thought about all Sarah had said. She measured Sarah's experience against her own, then compared her Mark with Sarah's Orson and shivered.

As she took the buggy to the barn and unhitched the horse, she said to herself, “One thing is certain in my mind. I must never tell Mark what has happened to me. I couldn't stand to have him become another Orson.”

Chapter 29

“I can't imagine anyone moving in August, at least this August!” Jenny exclaimed, fanning herself vigorously. “Even John Mark fusses when I hold him because it's so hot.”

Mark threw her a quick glance. “Perhaps I shouldn't have brought you into town today. It'll be hotter there.”

“Ah, but the picnic with Andy, Sally, and Tamara makes it worth the trip in the heat.” Jenny tilted the parasol to shade the baby lying on his bed of blankets on the seat of the buggy. “If you will find a shady spot to leave the buggy, John Mark and I will have a pleasant wait while you take the papers up to Clayton.”

She fanned herself again, saying, “And if you manage to drive past the Nauvoo House, I'll enjoy gawking at the men carrying in all the Prophet's belongings.”

“I won't take the time to pass,” he answered, smiling down at her, “but I shall leave the buggy close enough for you to watch the whole event.”

Nauvoo House had been built west of the city on a point of land overlooking the wharf. Although it was not finished, the apartment for the Prophet had been readied, and Jenny knew today was moving day.

The three-story, L-shaped building was of red brick. The length and breadth of it started on Main Street and extended down Water Street.

From where Mark had parked the buggy, Jenny could feel the cooling breeze from the river and see the building. Beyond it were the stables and the wharf. She also saw the last load of furniture being taken in the front door.

Disappointed at having missed the excitement, Jenny studied the windows already draped with red velvet and opened to the cooling breezes. “Oh, John Mark, I do so want to see inside! If only Emma would stick her head out, I'd be tempted to go beg a look. I sure don't want to wait for months until the grand opening.”

John Mark waved his fists and screwed up his face to cry. “It was early when you nursed,” Jenny moaned in dismay, conscious of the lorries and workmen passing the buggy.

Looking around she frowned, saying, “'Tis only a couple of blocks to the Mansion House. Could be Emma is there. If not, we could walk across the way to the old farmhouse and sit among the trees.”

But before they reached Mansion House, John Mark balled up his little fists and complained heartily. Patting his sweaty little shoulders, Jenny sighed, “You win, tyke; we'll cut through the field and save some time.”

Back in the trees, just beyond the old farmhouse, Jenny gratefully settled among the ferns and cuddled John Mark to her.

Here the cool woods formed an encircling arm around the old farmhouse and the stretch of Nauvoo beyond. Even the clamor of workmen and the shouts from the wharf were muffled. The house with its patchwork architecture—originally log, with a new addition of white frame—was nearly lost in the tangle of lilac bushes. As she idly studied the house, Jenny recalled that the original building was part of the old town of Commerce.

Jenny's eyes were nearly closed when a movement near the house made them start open.

A woman dressed in pale summer colors was striding through the meadow toward the house. With scarcely a pause, she approached the door and slipped through. Jenny frowned, then said, “That's Emily Partridge, Emma's girl. I suppose she's been sent after something. If you hurry, babe, we'll go visit with her.”

Only a few minutes later Jenny was laying John Mark down on his blanket when another figure approached. She recognized the tall, thin figure in the dark dress. “Well,” Jenny said as she watched her enter the house, “seems we'll have our visit with Emma after all.”

Jenny was nearly to the door of the house when she heard the angry cry. As she hesitated, Emma rushed through the door and started up the hill.

Jenny called, “Emma!” But the woman didn't stop until she reached the roadway. Her face was stony when Jenny reached her.

“Oh, you,” she said in a lifeless voice, turning away. But Jenny had seen her face.

“Emma, you've hurt yourself!” She could scarcely believe her own words as she blurted out, “Why, someone hit you!”

Emma nodded and dabbed at her swelling eye. Jenny circled her shoulders with one arm and said, “You need a balm on that. The store's just down the street; come.” As they started down the road, Jenny said, “I never would have expected Emily Partridge to behave like that.”

“It wasn't Emily.” She paused and then added, “You saw her. I suppose you saw Joseph, too.”

“Joseph?” Jenny asked, then gasped. She was beginning to understand.

“It wasn't Emily. It was Joseph who struck me.” They had reached the store. Jenny opened the door and together they went to find the ointment. By the time they had made their choice, the door banged open and Joseph rushed in. He paused to look around, and seeing Emma he came to her.

Seizing Emma in his arms, he kissed her. “I'm sorry,” he said. “But, Emma, you know better than to follow me.”

Speechless, Jenny stared after the two as they left the store, arm in arm.

Later that afternoon, Mark and Jenny met Andy and Sally in the temple grove. After their picnic supper the men and Tamara wandered away.

Sally was slowly repacking the hamper as she said, “Jenny, you've been terribly quiet today. Is there something wrong?”

Bemused, Jenny raised her head, “Oh, I'm sorry. Lost in thought, I guess.”

“Has something happened between you and Mark?”

“Oh, no, Sally.” Jenny bit her lip and then said, “I saw something today that I just can't understand. What would you think was happening if you saw a woman go into the old farmhouse, and in a few minutes be followed by Emma, who shortly comes out with a bruised eye, saying that Joseph did it?”

Sally looked startled. “I'd think she was lying.”

“Even when Joseph came into the store later and apologized to her, saying she should know better than to follow?”

“I guess she wasn't lying.”

Now Jenny saw the troubled look on Sally's face and said, “Yes, I too have a hard time believing Joseph is like that. Sally, I've heard rumors. Sarah Pratt admitted the Prophet's urging men to take other wives. When I think of Mark being pulled into that situation, I nearly become ill.”

Sally burst into tears. Jenny turned on the blanket and put her arms around her friend. “Oh, Sally, I didn't dream Andy was involved. Please forgive me for hurting you. But I just can't understand—”

Her voice was very low. “It isn't Andy.” More sobs muffled her words, and Jenny could only wait, beginning to fear her next words. Finally she straightened and mopped her eyes on Jenny's handkerchief.

“Do you mind if I tell you all about it? Jenny, I am going out of my mind soon if I don't confide in someone.”

Reluctantly Jenny nodded. She glanced at the sleeping baby stretched on his blanket and listened to the laughing voices of their men punctuated by Tamara's shrill voice.

Looking into Sally's face, she nodded again, whispering, “If it will help. Sally, you know how I feel about you and Andy both, I—”

Sally bent forward and buried her face against her knees. “Oh, Jenny, don't say it. You'll hate me when I finish, but that's the chance I must take. See, I'm one of Joseph's wives.”

Jenny gulped and took a deep breath. “Explain that.”

“Since Kirtland. He began teaching me the doctrine of spiritual wives just after you and Mark were married in '36. That next year we took our endowments. I wanted to wait, but it was starting to look as if we'd be leaving for Missouri soon, and Joseph said the Lord had commanded the marriage to be sealed.”

Her brave voice dropped to a whisper as she continued, “I didn't want to do it. But after he got through teaching the doctrine and bade me pray for direction, I dared not disobey the Lord.”

“You had a
sign
?”

“Yes.” For a moment Sally's face brightened. “I'd prayed and fasted, just like he told me to. One night late I awakened and went downstairs to pray. There I had the most wonderful vision, and I knew I had confirmation.”

“What was it?”

She hesitated and fumbled for words. “A—sensation of brightness and a tremendous peace swept over me.”

Jenny settled back on her heels and thought. “Well, Sally, I guess I can't quarrel with that. The Prophet's taught us to seek signs and wisdom. I've followed that course myself seeking for power and wisdom. I must confess, though, at times I don't like what I find, and the confusion that ends up inside of me nearly makes me sick. But, according to the teaching, that's Satan fighting against what is being given to us.”

“I thought it was just the opposite. Once you said—”

“That they were saying the right way is within us, and that we follow it naturally.” She stopped and stared at Sally. “I am getting so confused I don't know what I think. One thing is certain. All you're telling me leaves me churning around inside. Why is the way of salvation so difficult?”

“Shall I tell you more? I think I might be able to get rid of this terrible guilt if you would listen.”

Jenny nodded and Sally continued. “That medicine. I think you guessed I'd tried to get rid of the baby. Jenny, I wasn't trying to cause an abortion. I wanted to die; that's why I took the medicine.”

Now her sobs were soundless. Jenny watched the agony expressed in the trembling curve of her body. Her own arms felt leaden as she lifted them and pulled Sally close. One more rush of words from Sally explained it all. “I think it was Joseph's baby.”

It was dusk. From down the hill came the mingled sounds of laughter from Mark and Andy. Jenny could control her bitterness no longer. “How could you do that to Andy?”

The silence lasted for a long time. Jenny could no longer see Sally's face.

Sally finally moved, sighed, and in the voice of an old, wise woman, she said, “Do you think I have not suffered over it? There hasn't been a day since the sealing that I haven't agonized over it. But I must bow to the wishes of the Prophet, pretending and deceiving my husband, when each deception is nearly the death of me.” She was silent, and then as if she guessed Jenny's unspoken question, she added, “If I dared attempt death again, I would.”

“Isn't there something you can do? Why don't you ask Andy to leave Nauvoo?”

Sally leaned over Jenny. Her fingers were digging into Jenny's arm shaking it. “Don't you understand? I dare not. My salvation is at stake. I would go to hell most surely. You know, Jenny, not a one of us will make it unless Joseph is there to admit us to heaven.”

The men's voices were growing louder as they laughed and romped up the hill with Tamara. Seeing one last agonized glance from Sally, Jenny leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Trust me; somehow I'll find a way to get you out of this mess.”

Chapter 30

Jenny left the Relief Society meeting and headed for Joseph's store, carrying a lunch of cold meat and vegetables to Mark.

With John Mark clutched tightly in one arm and the other hand holding the food pail, Jenny slowly made her way up the stairs, kicking her long skirt out of the way as she went.

Halfway up the stairs, she heard a door bang against the wall and Joseph's voice rose above the clatter. “Law, you'll be damned if you don't!”

The angry voice retorted, “And I'll be damned if I do! What a doctrine!”

Feet thundered on the stairs and William exclaimed, “Oh, Mrs. Cartwright! I nearly swept you down the stairs. Here, let me help you.” He took the pail and surveyed John Mark, whose face was beginning to pucker.

“Oh, he's shy,” Jenny explained, pressing the baby's head against her shoulder. “I'm just bringing lunch to Mark.”

“I think he's out. Here, I'll put the pail on his desk, and you can wait.”

Clayton was at his desk, hunched over the notebook. Busily dipping his pen, he said, “Morning, ma'am. Mark'll be back in a minute.” He wiped his pen and came to pat the baby and beam at him. “Little blessing. 'Tis for all of us if we only mind the Lord and keep His commandments. Now, that William is sure bucking counsel.” He sighed gustily, with a wistful look in his eyes. Jenny recalled the Relief Society gossip of some trouble at home.

He continued, “My heart's desire is to fulfill the requirements of the gospel. I pray the great Elohim to bless us all with His will.” He paused for a moment, searching Jenny's face, then said, “You know, we don't live to please ourselves. All of this is only to keep the covenants of our God and to earn the right to the eternities He's prepared for us.” Clayton picked up his hat and with a smile headed for the door.

Mark arrived as Jenny was still pondering the veiled meaning of Clayton's remarks. They shared the lunch and Jenny left the office, saying, “I'm going to shop and then go home.”

By the time Jenny was back in the buggy, she was brooding over the old problem. Halfway home, suddenly the obvious solution occurred to Jenny.