Motown Throwdown (28 page)

I told him that no matter what life throws at us, I was his. That I would protect him with everything I had if he’d let me.  That we survived ten years apart, that a few months were nothing for us. That we had something most people never get.

A second chance.

There was this guy, it was freaky as hell but I swore he was always watching me. The problem was if I had to explain him to someone, I couldn’t. His features never stuck in my brain but I knew he was dark like me, big like me and I felt that shit. He was fucking menacing and given the chance I’m pretty sure he wanted to hurt me. Swear to God, one minute he was there the next he wasn’t. Like a God damn ghost, he crowded me and it was only when I was near Kandace. If I had to call it something, I’d call it a warning.

Jack shit.

That’s what I’ve heard, jack shit.

The bitch of it was her dads haven’t heard shit either and they were losing it. The only communication they have is with her program rep who likes being vague. If Kandace wanted to ignore me I would deserve it, but she would never do that to her parents. Kandace would want them in the loop. Tonight at work, I took Jules aside and asked for a favor. She said she’d look into it but I haven’t heard from her yet either.

When I got home, I sat down at my table and finally read the letters she wrote to me. Somewhere between breaking down and feeling lost, her words built me back up. Her faith in me, even at my worst, was absolute. I had to believe she could forgive me for what I’d done and I promised if I ever saw her again and even if it was to say goodbye, I would own my mistake.

Rubbing my jaw, I stare at the piles wondering how I ever scored a friend like her in the first place. She was always too good for me and I wondered if letting her go was best for her, until I got a text from Jules.

Dialing her number she says, “The internet in her camp has been down for weeks. No incoming or outgoing correspondence. When I asked specifically about Dr. Kane would you like to know what her representative said?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Boss.”

“She said she put in her request for departure and replacement three weeks ago.”

“When is she coming home?”

“Rome,” she says “the request came the day after your package was received.”

“When is she coming home?” I repeat.

“That is unknown but the rep has my info and I made it clear I expected her to get back with me when that information becomes available.”

“Boss?”

“I know, Rome.”

Grabbing my keys and running to the front door I wanted to share the news with her dads in person. The least I could do was put their minds at ease after what they’ve done for me. Both men have taught me the proper way to handle my anger, move forward and court their daughter. I may have been locked up young, but that was no excuse to keep behaving like a kid. Only when I stepped out on to the porch I was laid the fuck out. Then the guy knelt down next to me and says, “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Gage, the big brother.”

Shit.

That feeling that I used to get in school crept over me and at least now I knew who it belonged to. Made sense too if she were my sister, I would have kicked my ass by now. He caught me off guard and we both knew it but he was here so I figured I needed to listen to whatever he had to say.

“Get up,” he says pushing my front door open and heading inside. Following him in, I wait to see what his next move was but it wasn’t a move it was a warning. “Roman Peterson,” he says casing my place. “Number twenty nine. The quarterback who broke Wayne’s touchdown record, the campus whore and my favorite,” he says turning toward me. “The rapist.”

Staring him down at the reminder, he laughs and continues. “Saw the way you treated my baby sister. Saw the way you treated all the ladies. Now I didn’t care much for them, but I love her. You could have had her back then, we both know it. So why didn’t you?”

“Because she wasn’t a notch.”

“Ah,” he says. “Tell me number twenty nine if she wasn’t a notch what was she?”

“She was special,” I tell him proudly. “I loved her.”

“Brother, your idea of love and mine are not even on the same field. Heard my baby sister is coming home soon. My dads are beyond thrilled of course, how about you?”

“I---“

“I bet you’re thrilled too,” he says picking up one of her letters and skimming it. “Probably thinking up an apology, a way to get her to see past your transgressions. Not too many women out there like my sister. Food for thought though, the night you did her wrong? I was there, saw it, heard it and couldn’t believe that she left you or the idiots in your crew standing after you did it. You need to know the only reason you breathe today was because you went to prison and she begged for you to be spared.” Coming toe to toe with me he makes his position crystal clear. “Only for her do you breathe. You fuck this up again; I will break my promise to her and bury you next to your grandmother.” Breathing through my nose and biting my tongue was all I could do. I make a play for him and he’d make it so I never saw her again, as in I’d be dead. So I stayed where I was fighting my nature and the truth that he threw in my face. This guy wouldn’t care that because of her and making peace with my past, that I’m a better person now. Fuck him, I didn’t care what he thought.

“Number twenty nine,” he says standing at my door. “What a fucking waste.”

Then like some hocus pocus shit, he was gone.

“Are you following me?” I snap at him. I needed to grab tampons and a dry erase marker and like always, he finds me.

“You never follow me so what choice do I have?” he asks taking the box of tampons from my hand.

“That’s not true,” I tell him letting him keep the box. “I go to your games, I’m just not big on bangers.”

Tossing me the box he laughs, “You said bangers.”

“You know what I meant,” I laugh back.

“Yeah, Teach, I did.” He says quietly. “But if you were there I might actually enjoy it,” and I actually believed it.

It was rare, but from time to time he’d say something profound that would make my knees weak and my love for him even stronger. Unfortunately for me, those moments were few and far between.

Finally, I was going home.

I had four to seven days to go. Unfortunately, we lost our satellite feed and have had no access to email or phone for nearly a month. Thankfully, part of my rep’s job was keeping in touch with my family in the event that I couldn’t. Knowing my dads would be a wreck otherwise, I was able to do my job because my rep would handle the logistics.

While doing my rounds, one of nurses let me know we were back online and the decision to email Rome or not weighed on me. After reading his letters (which have become my obsession) I saw he left me his email address at the bottom. Day after day I wondered if I should do it. If I did do it, what would I say?

Hearing we were back up had me chewing my lip. It was decision time.

Choking down two Twinkie’s, I fired up my laptop and started typing. In the end a two-paragraph email took me four hours. Typing in the address, I hovered over the send tab when I started to shake.

“Doctor Kane,” I hear from outside. “You’re needed STAT.”

Hitting send, I close the lid and wouldn’t open it again for twelve hours. Tonight, like every night, I sang to my patients when I did my rounds. We lost five tonight, five and the losses took more from me. My voice, I like to believe provided comfort. At least as much as it could while I was wearing a hazmat suit and looked like an alien. Each night I would sing a gospel song and was pleased when I would end with Amazing Grace, how many villagers knew it.

Rubbing my eyes because I was running on fumes and despair, I opened my laptop expecting something from my dads. I never expected a response from Rome, even though I’d hoped for one. I had to read it several times before it made sense. Honestly, I still wasn’t sure if it made sense or not but he capitalized the words so I had to assume it meant a place and decided to roll with it.

Second Chances ask for me.

#29

Emailing him back before crashing, literally, I let him know I don’t have a secure date yet and asked for clarification of his vague message. Within minutes he emails me back and was still as cryptic but a bit cocky.

It’s a place.

You’ll find me, Doc. You always do.

Feeling confused and energized I emailed him one last time with a smirk while I did it.

Assuming that I want to find you, I know where to look now.

Take care, #29.

His response though? Pure male and one hundred percent Rome.

Go to bed.

I have shit to do. Word is, my woman’s coming home.

For the first time in almost five months I went to bed happy and it was because of him.

When Kandace sang to me the world finally made sense. Her voice had the ability to reach out and comfort me. Just like it did in school when she’d get lost in her studies and hum to herself. Now I watch her on stage and when she should hate me, ignore me, or at the very least tell me to fuck myself, she sings to me.

To me.

She looks for me and when she finds me her nerves settle. I calm her like she calms me. I’ve waited a long time to see her again. Never thinking it would be here at Lush but I’d take it. I also never thought she’d keep coming back, but she does.

To me.

When Dick called me to tell me her plane just landed I played it cool until he offered his advice. “You called the play, son, it’s up to her if she runs with it or away from it.”

“That was the worst football analogy I have ever heard,” I mumble.

“I know my daughter,” he says. “And so do you.”

Hanging up, I paced for hours. Making sure I was clean shaven, smelled good and my place was tidy, I head out to my mentor session. She would want to see her family first, I got that, but as the day went on and she never called, text or showed I wondered if she did in fact run away from the play. I worried I was in the end zone, waiting for a play that was never called.

It was almost seven and Rio, knowing my situation, was watching the clock like I was. Kandace had been home for nearly twelve hours and my heart believed she would come, but my gut cramping said I was fooling myself. That maybe this time she threw the flag down. Heading to the back to shut my computer down, I hear Rio talking on the phone and decided to hang back here until he finished.

“Need you out front,” he says rapping on the door. “Second Chance waiting in the lobby.”

This happened a lot. Men and women came in off the street, no appointment necessary. Rio said second chances don’t have appointments, they just show up when they’re meant to. Grabbing a clip board, I make a right and push the door open to see her standing by the couch reading the mission statement wearing scrubs and a pony tail.

When she sensed my presence she didn’t turn around. Instead I watched her gather up her courage by straightening her back, tensing her shoulders, she did the unthinkable.