Mr. Darcy's Secret (13 page)

But I will say no more on that matter except to say that reports received pertaining to recent seasonal celebrations at Pemberley House are less alarming than I would ever have warranted and I find I am much relieved to hear that your wife, at least, conducts herself in a manner befitting her new station.

Send my affectionate love to Georgiana,

I remain most faithfully,

Your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh

Elizabeth sighed. "Praise, indeed," she said with a grimace. "At least I have not been completely vilified in this letter."

"Did you see the postscript, on the other side?" asked Fitzwilliam, standing before her.

Elizabeth turned over the letter.

I am at present staying with our cousins the Granvilles in Harrogate and on my return to Rosings shall break my journey at Pemberley on Tuesday, February 8th, for one night only. I trust you will be able to accommodate me.

Elizabeth raised her head to see Fitzwilliam towering above her. His eyes were still regarding her closely; he was studying her form with such intimate intent that her heart quickened.

"I know I ask too much, but I hope you will help me receive my aunt at Pemberley," he said, sitting down on the bed beside her. "I cannot do it without you, Elizabeth." He faltered. Lizzy knew he was trying to find the right words and she patiently waited to hear him out. "I know you do not understand or approve of my actions concerning Georgiana's engagement. It is settled, however, and I hope in time that you will see everything come right in the end, and understand that I did the correct thing by my sister. I would like your blessing even if we do not agree on everything. I so dislike being at odds with you. I'm sorry, Elizabeth, I know I should have discussed the matter with you. But I think my reticence to do so was because I knew we might disagree. I do not think you have changed your views, yet I hope you can see that I only have my sister's future happiness and comfort in mind."

Elizabeth had thought long and hard on the subject of Georgiana's engagement. She did not agree with alliances based on fortune alone, and the idea of a marriage without affection was one she knew she could not have borne herself. Yet she also knew that an engagement of this kind for Georgiana was expected in the society she now moved in. Fitzwilliam truly believed that he was doing the best for his sister; she saw that his motives and his heart were pure. "I know that you wish for the best for Georgiana, Fitzwilliam, even if I do not completely agree with your methods of attainment."

"Will you forgive me?"

"I forgive you, of course I do. And do not worry; I will be the perfect hostess to Lady Catherine. Everything will be fine," she heard herself say, as she entwined her fingers with his, simultaneously admiring their clasped hands held together so tightly. "I am not alarmed by the thought of a visit from a cross old woman who is only coming to satisfy her curiosity. Do not worry, Fitzwilliam," she said, as he took her hand and kissed it before enfolding her in his arms. "You know very well that there is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

Mr Darcy's lips sought hers; sweet and passionate were the kisses he'd denied himself for too long. Elizabeth no longer had any command over those feelings which had kept them apart as she gave herself up willingly to his caresses.

"Then I hope to witness that boldness for myself," he whispered into her ear, "as I have every intention of intimidating you, right here and now, with a little coercion of my own."

"Oh, Mr Darcy," Lizzy replied, returning a kiss on his cheek, "indeed, sir, you do not alarm me, but I confess, in the circumstances, I would be most obliged to you for your intended duress."

The beginning of February heralded not only the imminent arrival of Lady Catherine de Bourgh but also the departure of Elizabeth's relations. She was sorry to see the Gardiners leave, particularly her aunt whose wise counsel had given Lizzy much food for thought. Mrs Bennet talked of postponing their leave-taking and extending their visit, but to Lizzy's relief they left all the same. She was not sorry when the day came to say good-bye; it had been a busy, eventful, and pleasant few weeks, but Elizabeth craved some quiet days, exempt from the thoughts and contrivances which any sort of company gives. To be alone with her husband, or at least, as far as they might be permitted to be alone in a house filled with people, was her greatest desire. There was one person she was very sorry to see dressed in her travelling clothes, but for the moment she still had the delight of her sister Jane's company for another hour or two. It had not been easy to confide in her whilst the house had been so occupied and now the others were gone, Elizabeth took the opportunity of discussing Georgiana's engagement. They sat in Elizabeth's sitting room, cosy from the winter day outside, partaking of a last cup of tea together. The scene through the window upon which her eyes rested showed a landscape glittering with frost in the sunlight, the hills reflecting shades as blue as the duck egg sky. Elizabeth did not know quite how to broach the thoughts innermost in her mind, but that she needed to confide in Jane for her own peace of mind was paramount.

"Tell me, Jane, what did you honestly think when Georgiana's engagement was announced?"

Jane put down her teabowl and ventured, "I have never been so shocked in my life before, except perhaps when you divulged that you were going to marry Mr Darcy."

Elizabeth could not help but smile. "No, seriously, you were surprised, I am sure, as I was myself, especially knowing Georgiana's feelings for Mr Butler."

"What I meant to say was not that I was surprised about the engagement itself, rather in the unexpected way it came about. I suppose she will go through with it?"

"Not a doubt of it, she will not upset Fitzwilliam. Yet it cannot be the right course, can it? I do not think she can conceive of the years she will spend in unhappiness. Surely nothing can be compared to the misery of being bound without love, bound to one and preferring another. Georgiana does not deserve such a sentence, and all the money in the world will not change her situation. But equally dreadful, Jane, and I hardly know how to tell you, is the realisation that Fitzwilliam can allow, even insist, that she be married to such a man. I would not say this to another soul except you, but I feel this event proves that his pride is as great as it ever was and though I have tried to bury my feelings and attempted to understand his point of view, I find I cannot. Tom Butler is not considered to be good enough for Miss Georgiana, in exactly the same way as Mr Darcy first considered me to be inferior. Do you remember? He told me once that he could not bear the thought of my lowly connections, relations whose condition in life was so decidedly beneath his own. I have tried to reconcile my feelings for the sake of my marriage, I have told Fitzwilliam that the alliance has my blessing, but I still feel so at odds. Georgiana does not fool me; she is not happy. Oh, Jane, I love Darcy, or at least I thought I loved the man I married, but this is causing a rift between us, which I do not think will easily be healed. We go on as if nothing has happened, whilst underneath the tensions are still the same. Why will he not allow Georgiana what he has done himself? I'll tell you why, because he regrets his marriage to me. I don't doubt that he loves me in some ways, but he will always consider that he married beneath him."

"Lizzy, you know that is not true. It is clear for all to see how much your husband adores and reveres you. Whatever he might have said in the past he has wholly refuted in his actions. His behaviour to us all, to the whole family has been exemplary; you cannot accuse him of prejudice against us now. In any case, Georgiana has been brought up differently, with an expectation of marriage to unite alliance and fortune; you know that. We did not have a similar prospect; indeed, we had few prospects. I am sure you are more upset by this engagement than she appears to be."

"I sincerely hope you are right, my dearest sister. You always were the voice of sweet reason."

"I think you must trust Mr Darcy in this case," added Jane, "or else risk the happiness of your own marriage. Pride and prejudice may be faults indeed but are not confined to your husband alone. Perhaps you should give Mr Calladine a chance to prove himself; he may win Georgiana over in the end. He is a gentleman, after all, and Georgiana might find lasting happiness with a man who is not only wealthy but also completely accepted in her circle. If Charlotte Collins has managed it, I'm sure Georgiana can."

"But her case was entirely different, Jane. There was no prior attachment."

"No, you are right, Lizzy. I know I could never have considered such a marriage for myself especially after meeting Charles." Jane paused to regard her sister, her head on one side as she searched the beloved countenance she knew so well. "But I think more than Georgiana's predicament upsets you. Perhaps the idea of Lady Catherine's coming here is making you more anxious than you realise."

"I daresay the thought of Darcy's aunt is at the root of some of my troubles, and not least, I shall be so sorry to say good-bye to you. How can you think of leaving me to a tongue lashing from Lady Catherine de Bourgh?"

Jane got up from her seat to hug her sister for the last time. "I could not if I had the least worry that you would be incapable of holding your own. I recall your retort as you reported it to me on the occasion of your last interview with that lady: 'I do not pretend to possess equal frankness with your ladyship. You may ask questions which I shall not choose to answer.' Lady Catherine knows when she has met her match, I am certain. I don't doubt you will manage very well!"

∗ ∗ ∗

Elizabeth was more worried about the impending visit from Mr Darcy's aunt than she was prepared to let on, but was determined not to dwell on any misgivings she might have. There was quite enough to deal with simply organizing such details as food and menus, and which bedchamber Lady Catherine was to occupy, without being anxious about any conversation they might share. At least Miss de Bourgh, Lady Catherine's daughter, would not be accompanying her. Apparently, Anne was staying behind with her companion Mrs Jenkinson in the hope that the change of air and spa water would do her some good. Sickly, pale, and cross, the spoiled cousin of Mr Darcy had never enjoyed good health, and Elizabeth knew that no expense would be spared in the efforts to revive the spirits of this despondent creature, though she considered it unlikely that any amount of money or treatments would make a jot of difference. Privately, Elizabeth felt quite sorry for the girl who had never been allowed to live a normal life. In her opinion Anne had not only been spoiled, but had also been fussed over and mollycoddled to the point of suffocation. No wonder the girl was awkward in company and socially inept--she was never allowed to speak and would not dare oppose her mother's beliefs or statements on any topic. Besides all this, Lady Catherine's hopes for an alliance between her daughter and Mr Darcy had been thwarted, and as such, Lizzy was sure that Anne would avoid coming to Pemberley altogether if she possibly could. At least Lady Catherine was not due for another week; Lizzy would have time to prepare fully.

Elizabeth's own spirits were subdued. The Christmas celebrations and Georgiana's engagement, not to mention the awkwardness that subsisted between Lizzy and Darcy as a result, had all taken its toll. Mrs Darcy was feeling tired and lacking in energy, which was so extraordinary that she felt some concern. Determined to find a solution she decided she was in need of some fresh air and exercise; being cooped up inside because of the bad weather was never good. She formed a plan to walk to Lambton in the afternoon, but made a decision not to inform anyone else. Elizabeth had a feeling that Mr Darcy might not approve of his wife going about the Pemberley estates unaccompanied and without a carriage. He need never know; his time was taken up with estate matters on Wednesdays.

Donning her sturdiest boots and a beloved cloak from her Longbourn days, which was warm and comfortable if not considered as smart as others in her new wardrobe, she set off. Out of doors, Elizabeth instantly felt better in the fresh air, with a light rain misting her features, the smell of Derbyshire limestone, and the scent of moss sprinkled like green jewels upon stone walls assailing her senses. Following the river on the shortcut to Lambton bridge, she took pleasure in observing the riverbank twisting and curving with the rushing water moving swiftly in between, glinting like steel knives when the afternoon sun decided to make a brief appearance. Ancient trees dipped their gnarled fingers into the rushing torrent as their branches arched over her head dripping raindrops onto her hood. Walking was sublime exercise when the outlook was so beautiful and Lizzy made rapid progress, becoming almost disappointed as the sight of a few scattered cottages and the medieval bridge with its five arches and triangular cutwaters came into view. Crossing the bridge she paused to watch the waterbirds for a moment. There were few people about and of those who walked none seemed to take much notice of her for which she was grateful. She knew if she had arrived in a carriage or dressed in her best pelisse it might have been a different matter. It was lovely to be anonymous for a change and the sense of freedom that she felt such as she had enjoyed in the old days almost overwhelmed her. Chiding herself for being silly and sentimental, she continued over the bridge and turned into the lane leading to the High Street. It had been her intention to turn round and walk straight back to Pemberley, but now she was here she was struck by the idea of calling on Mrs Butler. That she could send news to her Aunt Gardiner about her friend seemed a wonderful idea.

Mrs Butler was surprised but exceedingly welcoming at the sight of her visitor. Lizzy was made to sit next to the fire, where Mrs Butler soon had the kettle on a trivet over the burning logs until it sang, hissing with steam. Her best china was produced and a cup of fragrant tea placed before Elizabeth on the small Pembroke table at the side of the sofa.

"My dear, you must be perished with the cold coming such a long way on foot," said Mrs Butler.

"I love to go walking and as the sun did keep peering out from under the rain clouds I thought I would make the best of it. I do not feel the cold and walking always warms me up." Elizabeth sipped her tea. She was very curious to ask after Tom, but she was reluctant to start up any conversation regarding that gentleman. Whether Mrs Butler knew about Georgiana's engagement or not she had little idea. There was a possibility that her aunt had informed Mrs Butler of it and news travelled fast in the countryside, but she could not be sure, nor of how much the lady knew of what had formerly happened between Tom and Georgiana.

Mrs Butler was the first to speak. "I must offer my congratulations on Miss Darcy's engagement, Mrs Darcy. You must be very pleased."

"Thank you, Mrs Butler. I shall pass on your good wishes to Miss Georgiana." Elizabeth made no further comment. Even with a desire to make polite conversation she could not profess to be pleased. She picked up her teacup, once more contemplating how she might ask after Mr Butler to find out why he had left so quickly after the ball.

"Have you any news of young Thomas?" asked Elizabeth tentatively, unable to resist asking for information. "We were disappointed not to see him before he left for London."

She need not have worried. There was no awkwardness in discussing Tom's activities. Mrs Butler declared that his patron, Lord Featherstone, had use of him again and he would be in Richmond and London for the foreseeable future. Indeed, he was so busy that she was not sure of seeing him for some time. Still, his mother was pleased that he was needed and being introduced to many important people who had expressed great interest in his methods of landscape gardening with a view to having their own gardens improved upon.

"I am not in the least surprised," said Lizzy. "Tom is a very talented young man. I am so pleased with the designs he did for me. As soon as the weather improves, work will start on the upper slopes. It is a surprise for Mr Darcy and I can't wait for him to see it."

"Tom will be so pleased to hear you are happy with everything. He left in such a hurry, only arranging at the last minute to send the book over. I did think he would come and present it to you himself at Pemberley, but I'm afraid he insisted that there was not a moment to lose. I do hope you understood, Mrs Darcy. Tom does not mean to be rude, but he has a habit of flying about the country and setting off in a moment."

"Of course. It is a habit of many young men, I think. Mr Darcy's particular friend Mr Bingley is rather like that in his practices."

"That reminds me, Mrs Darcy. Please do apologise to your husband for not stopping to speak to him the other day in Birchlow. I had been visiting a friend when I saw him and it was only when he had passed by me on the opposite side that I realised who he was, and by then he had disappeared. I cannot think why I did not recognise him straight away, but you know what it is like on these dark winter afternoons when gentlemen are swathed in greatcoats and hats. I'm sure he didn't see me, in any case, but if you would mention it, all the same. I would not like him to think I was discourteous."

"I'm sure he would think nothing of the sort, Mrs Butler. When was this, did you say?"

"Hmm, let me think. It must have been last Friday, market day. Yes, that's it. I remember now, and perhaps the reason for not recognising Mr Darcy straight away was because he was dressed in country fashion, as if he had been to market himself. I didn't recognise the young gentleman he was accompanying, a fine tall boy. They seemed to be in a hurry, so it's just as well he didn't see me; he didn't look as if he had a moment to lose."