My Only - Alex & Jamie (24 page)

“Jamie, I don’t know what you know about my mom.”

“I read in your chart that she was diagnosed bi-polar and that she passed away when you were eight,” Jamie said.

“Yeah, she did. She moved out of the house when I was four so I don’t remember that much about her as a person. But I do remember that she never baked apple pies or tucked me in at night. But my dad…” Alex cleared his throat, “My dad was there. He made sure we had food on the table, a roof over our heads, and a knock upside our heads when we needed it.”

She smiled, “I like your dad. A lot.”

“He likes you, too. You should have heard him when he would come to see me in the hospital and you weren’t working. He didn’t shut up about it.”

He saw a blush rise on Jamie’s cheeks, but she shook her head dismissively.

Alex took a deep breath, “I said all that to say that I know what an unstable household feels like. Before my mom moved out, I never knew when I got out of bed in the morning what kind of a day it would be. I remember that I knew if she was still in bed then I needed to try and keep Bobby really quiet, and if she was up then I needed to make sure that she didn’t take him anywhere without me because I wasn’t sure she would bring him back.

“Jamie, you are doing a great job with Joey. He knows he’s loved. He has everything he needs. I mean, when a kid's biggest complaint is that he only gets two Go-Gurts a day, you are definitely doing something right.”

Her face softened as she asked, “You remembered how many Go-Gurts he can have?”

“Yeah, and it’s a good thing I did. He hit me up for one in the first fifteen minutes I was here.”

She laughed, “He did?”

“Yes, and I honestly don’t know how you say no to those big puppy dog eyes.”

“You become immune, believe me.” She scooted back on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “Thanks for saying I’m doing a good job with him. It’s nice to hear. I don’t know sometimes. I mean, every decision I make affects him. I am responsible for everything. Not just his emotional and physical well-being, but also making sure I raise him to be a good person, a good man.” The corner of her mouth turned up and her eyes widened, “It’s scary being a parent.”

He reached out and rubbed her knee, she didn’t pull away, so he left his hand there.

“I don’t know how you do it. When Hazel called tonight, I lost it. I didn’t ask questions, I just threw on a sweatshirt and raced over here, speeding the whole way.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah!” He nodded furiously.

“I’m sorry Hazel scared you.” She placed her hand on top of his.

The second she did, a jolt shot through him, straight to his groin. Damn, even the most innocent touch from her was lethal. She must have sensed his reaction or maybe she had one of her own because her cheeks flushed and her mouth opened slightly.

“Alex,” she said his name as a warning but it just made him grow harder.

He needed to finish this conversation. He had to remember his end game. He needed to stay focused. “As far as me not being real big on monogamy, well, yeah. That was true –
was
being the operative word. That was before I met you, Jamie. But now, that’s not the case. You are it for me.

“
You
are my social life. So if you don’t date, that means I don’t date. I could sit here and tell you exactly what I feel for you and make you a bunch of promises, but talk is cheap. I know the only way you will ever be able to trust me, to trust
us
, is to show you with actions how I feel and what you and Joey mean to me.”

Jamie sat, seeming to have no reaction to what he had just told her. She didn’t speak. She didn’t move. She just stared at him. Patience, Alex reminded himself, just be patient.

--- ~ ---

Jamie was having a hard time believing that she wasn’t dreaming. Had Alex really just sat on her couch and told her that if she didn’t date that meant he didn’t date?! Had he said she was it for him?

Normally, Jamie was a big believer in the concept that talk is cheap, actions speaks louder than words and all that. But right now, talking was exactly what she wanted him to do.

“Sometimes talking is good,” she finally managed, her voice as soft as the shy smile she gave him.

His eyes flashed with heat and he smiled one of his All Access smiles as he scooted closer to her, pulling her legs on top of his. Then, placing his hand firmly in the center of her thigh so his fingers dipped between them, he began, “Jamie, are you sure you want me to tell you what I feel, what I want?”

Words. She knew that words need to come out of her mouth. But that did not seem to be happening, so she just nodded her head.

“Okay,” he said as his thumb slowly rubbed her inner thigh.

Oh Lord, how was she ever going to concentrate on what he was saying when what he was
doing
was so mind-numbingly delicious? Eye contact, that’s what she needed. She looked up into his eyes and saw an intensity there she had never seen before.

“I never believed in love at first sight. Hell, I wasn’t even sure that real love, not just lust, even existed. And I know that I was all kinds of high when we met.”

She laughed a little, remembering that night. “Yes, you sure were.”

He smiled, “But I do remember that the instant I saw you, I knew you were it for me, that you were mine. And I don’t remember this, but I do know that I told you I loved you that night. I meant it then and I mean it now. I love you and every day, every hour, every second that I have spent with you has just made me fall more in love with you.

“I want to be with you Jamie. I don’t care if you call it dating or hanging out or what. Honestly my vote would be to go to the courthouse tomorrow and marry you so we could skip all that. But I want you to know that I
am
here and, unless you tell me to leave, I’m not going anywhere.”

Jamie felt tears building in her eyes, “See? That was good talking.”

“Are you okay?” Alex asked squeezing her thigh.

“I’m just…” She searched to find the right word, “scared.”

“I know.” Alex said nodding his head, “you can throw a pillow at me if that would help.”

She swatted his arm, smiling from ear to ear, “Alex!”

He pretended to be hurt, “Hey, I said a pillow!”

“Mommy, my tummy hurts!’’ she heard Joey call from the bedroom.

“Be right there!” she answered.

She stood and opened the door.

“I can stay if you want,” Alex offered.

“No, we’re good. I don’t want to confuse him.”

Alex nodded. As he turned to leave she pulled him back and then leaned up and did what she had been dying to do all day. She pressed her lips to his. What she meant to be a brief peck instantly sent flames burning up inside of her.

“Mommy, I don’t feel good!” Joey yelled again from his room.

“Coming!”

“I’ll text you tomorrow to see how he’s doing. Call me if you guys need anything,” Alex said as he left.

Jamie shut the door and closed her eyes, wanting to feel for just one more moment the sensation that had swept through her when Alex had said those words, “I love you”.

“Mommy!”

Okay, moment over.

Jamie grabbed Joey’s backpack from the backseat of her car as he ran up to the house. He was bursting with excitement because he was having a sleepover at Aunt Hazel’s. Jamie was not so excited.

She realized that there were plenty of nights that she had been away from Joey at work. But that had been different because she had known he was at home in his own bed. This was the first time Joey would not be sleeping in his own bed.

As she walked into the small, quaint house, she was immediately hit by the delicious smell of brownies. She overheard Hazel explaining to Joey that they were going to camp inside by making sheet tents.

“Now do you think you can go to the back closet and get the step stool, then get four sheets from the top shelf?” Hazel asked.

“Yes!” Joey said enthusiastically as he gave Aunt Hazel a high five before running down the hall.

“I think he’s a little excited,” Jamie said as she set the backpack down.

“So am I. I haven’t had a gentleman stay over since my Ralph passed, God rest his soul.”

Ralph was Hazel’s husband of forty years. He had died two years before Jamie had met her. From what Hazel had said, they had been madly in love.

“I wish I could have met him,” Jamie said.

“Oh, he would have loved you and Joey, and you would have loved him; he was a riot.” Hazel moved to the kitchen where she opened a drawer and pulled out an oven mitt.

“So what do you have planned for tonight?” She asked as she pulled the delicious looking chocolate treats out of the oven.

“Laundry and sleep.” Jamie didn’t know exactly how much sleep she would get without Joey there, but she was sure she would get laundry done.

“Oh, no plans to visit with any friends? Maybe go check and see how Alex is doing?” Hazel asked casually, not making eye contact as she rinsed a few dishes in the sink.

“Actually, Aunt Hazel, I've been meaning to talk to you about Alex,” Jamie said.

That sure got her attention. Hazel dropped the dishes back into the sink and spun around waiting expectantly for what Jamie had to say.

“You know the other night when you had Alex stay with Joey?” Jamie began.

Hazel nodded, looking as if she was on pins and needles.

“Well, you can’t do things like that. You can’t include Joey in your matchmaking plots and schemes.”

“Oh, pshhh,” Hazel said, as she dismissively waved the green checkered dish towel she held in her hand. “I wasn’t playing matchmaker.”

Jamie crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows giving her a challenging stare.

“Well, I wasn’t. Not exactly.”

“Okay, well what
exactly
were you doing?” Jamie said. She was very interested to hear her aunt out.

“I just needed to make sure,” Hazel said definitively, as if that was somehow the entire explanation.

“Make sure?” Jamie gave her a questioning look.

“Yes. Make sure that he had what it took.” Hazel stepped closer to Jamie resting her hands on the back of the wooden kitchen chair. “I love you and that little boy in there. You two are all the family I have. And I’ve always loved Alex, but I had to make sure that he had what it takes to take care of you two.”

“It was a test?” Jamie asked, making sure that she understood her correctly.

“Yes, and ooh doggie, he passed it with flying colors. When I called and told him I couldn’t get the breathing machine turned on, he was off the phone and at your house in the blink of an eye.” Hazel smiled ear to ear, “And then the poor guy looked like he was about to pass out when he saw that Joey was fine.”

“Aunt Hazel, you shouldn’t be happy,” Jamie said, trying not to smile herself. “You really scared him.”

Eyes still filled with excitement, Hazel continued, “He looked like he wanted to give me a piece of his mind about it, too. And, say what you will about those Sloan boys, but they all have very good manners. Then the next part of my test…”

“There’s more than one part?” Jamie asked, not believing what she was hearing.

“Of course! There’s three.” Hazel looked at Jamie like she thought that her great-niece was a few cards short of a full deck, “Part two was asking him to stay with Joey, which he was more than happy to do.”

Jamie was scared to ask but forged ahead anyway, “What was part three?”

“Well part three was if he would consider if it would be alright with you if he stayed. Which he did.” She folded her arms confidently declaring, “See? Flying colors!”

“Well, I’m not sure I agree with your methods, but I do appreciate that you care, Aunt Hazel.” Jamie hugged her aunt, tight. She had never had someone that looked out for her like that. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jamiekins.” Hazel said as she returned to her dishes.

“I’m gonna go say bye to little man. Thanks again, for everything”

“Now, if you really want to thank me you’ll put this ‘night off’ you have to good use and go see Mr. Flying Colors,” Aunt Hazel said, giving her a wink before turning back to do her dishes.

Hmm, Jamie thought, maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea.

What had seemed like a great idea an hour ago was not seeming so great anymore. She had called Alex fifteen minutes ago to see if it would be alright if she stopped by. Since that time, Jamie had been sitting in her car, parked in her driveway,
freezing
, trying to work up the nerve to go to see Alex.

It had been three days since he had told her how he felt, and in that time he had texted and called several times a day. He had come over for dinner one of the nights, the other two she had been at work. They hadn’t kissed since the all too brief lip lock at her front door and Jamie was
feining for a kiss like an addict would their next hit. Alex Sloan’s kisses should come with a warning: Highly Addictive.